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(Daily Mail)   Covid-19 swab goes WHERE?   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line
    More: Awkward  
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4321 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jan 2022 at 3:20 PM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-01-21 2:06:44 PM  
ftfa: "The anal tests involve inserting a sterile cotton swab up to two inches (5cm) into the rectum and rotating it several times. The swab is then removed before being analysed in a lab."

Way better than the alternative.. "No, no.. leave that in there and come with us."
 
2022-01-21 2:21:57 PM  
Someone needs to grab a high quality copy of the test instructions to use as "What to do with your opinion" meme fodder.
 
2022-01-21 2:25:09 PM  
Watsa matter? So easy even an anti-masker can do it.
 
2022-01-21 3:13:46 PM  
Damn near killed em.
 
2022-01-21 3:21:07 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 3:21:57 PM  
Dibs on the women bob sled teams
 
2022-01-21 3:23:01 PM  
"A research epidemiologist at Wuhan University explained the confusion arose when a fellow doctor was trying to leave the building late on a Friday night, after working extended shifts for 6 months, when a Public Health inspector asked 'What should I do with all these test swabs?".
 
2022-01-21 3:23:09 PM  
The Chinese have a lot of these left over, sitting in warehouses.  They have been repurposed as part of the anal swab.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 3:23:59 PM  
Remember, red-hats, the correct order for the at-home tests is anus, then back-of-throat, THEN nose.  Gotta hit all 3 with the same swab for the test to work properly.
 
2022-01-21 3:24:32 PM  
Really though, is it any more uncomfortable than the standard nostril-rape MO?
 
2022-01-21 3:25:27 PM  
They just need to swab your urethra for a covid test.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 3:26:13 PM  

misanthropic1: Really though, is it any more uncomfortable than the standard nostril-rape MO?


I'd actually prefer the anal one than sticking that foot long Q-tip up my nose and tickling my brain.
Anal one just goes 2 inches.
 
2022-01-21 3:26:37 PM  

misanthropic1: Really though, is it any more uncomfortable than the standard nostril-rape MO?


theglobalherald.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 3:27:08 PM  

OkieDookie: They just need to swab your urethra for a covid test.

[Fark user image 425x239]


c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 3:27:29 PM  

OkieDookie: They just need to swab your urethra for a covid test.

[Fark user image 425x239]


(shakes giant swab)
 
2022-01-21 3:29:37 PM  

Walker: misanthropic1: Really though, is it any more uncomfortable than the standard nostril-rape MO?

I'd actually prefer the anal one than sticking that foot long Q-tip up my nose and tickling my brain.
Anal one just goes 2 inches.


Call me 😉
 
2022-01-21 3:29:42 PM  
preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 3:30:38 PM  

Walker: Anal one just goes 2 inches.


With a little practice you'll be going elbow deep.
 
2022-01-21 3:32:05 PM  
Idiocracy - Future Hospital Visit
Youtube hmUVo0xVAqE
 
2022-01-21 3:32:08 PM  

Walker: misanthropic1: Really though, is it any more uncomfortable than the standard nostril-rape MO?

I'd actually prefer the anal one than sticking that foot long Q-tip up my nose and tickling my brain.
Anal one just goes 2 inches.


Only two inches?

Is that enough to.... you know, make you smile?

...asking for, you know... a friend.  😛
 
2022-01-21 3:33:26 PM  

whither_apophis: Dibs on the women bob sled teams


I originally clicked reply to warn you that athletes have the worst smelling farts, but given the site I should probably also remind you of the personal erotica exclusion clause.
 
2022-01-21 3:34:57 PM  
In undergrad I had a class where we swabbed parts of our body and grew bacteria from those parts. One place was the anus. Nearly everyone went to the bathroom and swabbed their butt but I finished early and got back to the lab and overheard an upset female ta talking to a male ta.

She was upset because a student just dropped trousers in the lab and swabbed her butt. The only other student present was a Chinese student. And the ta wouldn't look at her. I laughed it off. Thought it was funny and later became friends with her boyfriend.

What was the most disturbing is that when I went back a week later to get my plates to look under the microscope some of the other student's plates were packed completely full with white fungus. Just like the lids were popping off because there was so just fungus growing on the plates... like wtf?
 
2022-01-21 3:35:35 PM  
I have had this pic stored since the first wave of Covid hit.  Glad I can use it now.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 3:39:15 PM  
that's my fetish
 
2022-01-21 3:39:31 PM  
Just waiting for the wave of athletes deciding not to go comes along.
 
2022-01-21 3:40:14 PM  

snocone: Watsa matter? So easy even an anti-masker can do it.


Impossible - how the hell are they gonna get the swab in there with their head in the way?
 
2022-01-21 3:42:06 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 3:42:07 PM  

snocone: Watsa matter? So easy even an anti-masker can do it.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 3:42:11 PM  

Walker: misanthropic1: Really though, is it any more uncomfortable than the standard nostril-rape MO?

I'd actually prefer the anal one than sticking that foot long Q-tip up my nose and tickling my brain.
Anal one just goes 2 inches.


How many inches do you take before it's to much?
 
2022-01-21 3:42:35 PM  

edmo: Just waiting for the wave of athletes deciding not to go comes along.


Meh - I'll go ahead and be that guy.  A swab sized item two inches in - oooh agony, horror...

/do I want to do that?  No
//is it really all that traumatic and uncomfortable?  No
///of course considering many people in the world are acting lately, you're probably right regardless of the facts
 
2022-01-21 3:43:35 PM  
Wait. I had this done a few days ago by a guy in a van near an abandoned strip mall. He had rubber gloves and everything. Seemed legit.
 
2022-01-21 3:44:48 PM  
Does this mean farts can give you Covid now?


Don't ride in any elevators.
 
2022-01-21 3:46:03 PM  
Gavin will be administering self tests daily on his program.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 3:47:00 PM  
You might win a gold medal at the Winter Olympics in China, sure..

But the whole world is going to know you had a cotton swab shoved up your ass first!

You think you're better than me? You're not better than me. That cotton swab was in your ASS!

Ass Pennies - Upright Citizens Brigade
Youtube f9aM_dT5VMI
 
2022-01-21 3:48:32 PM  
i.dailymail.co.ukView Full Size

memegenerator.netView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 3:48:34 PM  

Sushi and the Banshees: Wait. I had this done a few days ago by a guy in a van near an abandoned strip mall. He had rubber gloves and everything. Seemed legit.


Your results are now ready for you to pick up. He's now down by the river.
 
2022-01-21 3:49:37 PM  
Swabbing your anus? Doesn't everybody do that in the morning?
Now, swabby-ing your anus...that's for Saturday night downs at the docks.
 
2022-01-21 3:52:49 PM  

comrade: In undergrad I had a class where we swabbed parts of our body and grew bacteria from those parts. One place was the anus. Nearly everyone went to the bathroom and swabbed their butt but I finished early and got back to the lab and overheard an upset female ta talking to a male ta.

She was upset because a student just dropped trousers in the lab and swabbed her butt. The only other student present was a Chinese student. And the ta wouldn't look at her. I laughed it off. Thought it was funny and later became friends with her boyfriend.

What was the most disturbing is that when I went back a week later to get my plates to look under the microscope some of the other student's plates were packed completely full with white fungus. Just like the lids were popping off because there was so just fungus growing on the plates... like wtf?


So... do you have a newsletter?
 
2022-01-21 3:53:45 PM  

whither_apophis: Dibs on the women bob sled teams


Fark user imageView Full Size


/Maybe NSFW
 
2022-01-21 3:55:37 PM  
Just because I couldn't resist - well I wasn't gonna anyway...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 3:56:00 PM  
Hot
 
2022-01-21 3:57:28 PM  
Drive through testing clinics should be fun.
 
2022-01-21 3:58:47 PM  

Rene ala Carte: Does this mean farts can give you Covid now?


Don't ride in any elevators.


They always could. But most people wear masks (underpants) over their arsehole.
 
2022-01-21 3:59:33 PM  

abbarach: Remember, red-hats, the correct order for the at-home tests is anus, then back-of-throat, THEN nose.  Gotta hit all 3 with the same swab for the test to work properly.


It's the only way to be sure.
 
2022-01-21 3:59:40 PM  

Rene ala Carte: Does this mean farts can give you Covid now?


Don't ride in any elevators.


It's been suspected for about two years now.

One of the early documented cases of spread was an apartment complex in Hong Kong that went on lockdown, and spread still happened, and the people who got sick had a broken soil stack (so sewer gasses could get into their bathroom)
 
2022-01-21 3:59:51 PM  
Honestly, I nose swab was rather awful, I'd rather be swabbed back there.
 
2022-01-21 4:02:25 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Just because I couldn't resist - well I wasn't gonna anyway...

[Fark user image image 450x249]


Well, if everyone else is going to repost the classics

Scrubs - Everything Comes Down To Poo
Youtube jsVgi8hoFFc
 
2022-01-21 4:07:10 PM  
UFIA logo ought to be updated to USIA
 
2022-01-21 4:10:48 PM  

Rene ala Carte: Does this mean farts can give you Covid now?



We've covered this.

https://www.fark.com/comments/10724862
 
2022-01-21 4:13:37 PM  
One the one hand, this is all quite amusing, especially the drawing of the instructions.
On the other, I hate this universe and all of existence oh-so-very-much right now.
 
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