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(Slate) Hero That rabbi who escaped with his congregants from the hostage situation in Texas by throwing a chair at their attacker? This is the man who taught him how to throw a chair. No, not Bobby Knight   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Hero, Judaism, Israel, Torah, Shabbat, Rabbi, training look, Halakha, Jewish communities  
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3824 clicks; posted to Main » on 21 Jan 2022 at 6:14 PM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



48 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-01-21 4:51:19 PM  
This lady is his Master. "Master, how will I know when I'm ready for the table?" "Ohhhh Grasshopper, start with a chair, then you move up to the tables."
media1.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 5:39:35 PM  
Beavis: Rooted in the Tao
Youtube lUDVIXTuzik
 
2022-01-21 6:16:55 PM  
Furniture only breaks over someone's back the first time in movies. You can really hurt another person with a chair.
 
2022-01-21 6:17:16 PM  

Combustion: This lady is his Master. "Master, how will I know when I'm ready for the table?" "Ohhhh Grasshopper, start with a chair, then you move up to the tables."
[media1.giphy.com image 460x259]


We are done here
 
2022-01-21 6:20:20 PM  
I would've hid behind the table for cover, then blasted him with my pulse rifle. But that's just me. *pewpew*
 
2022-01-21 6:23:05 PM  

iheartscotch: Furniture only breaks over someone's back the first time in movies. You can really hurt another person with a chair.


I think that was the point.
 
2022-01-21 6:23:20 PM  

iheartscotch: Furniture only breaks over someone's back the first time in movies. You can really hurt another person with a chair.


Depends on the chair.

I wouldn't want to get hit with a chair from an solid wood Amish dining set, for example. Folding chair would be alright though
 
2022-01-21 6:23:53 PM  
Did not know this shooped version existed.
media2.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 6:25:02 PM  

Combustion: This lady is his Master. "Master, how will I know when I'm ready for the table?" "Ohhhh Grasshopper, start with a chair, then you move up to the tables."
[media1.giphy.com image 460x259]


She caught a folding chair that was thrown at her.

More impressive than chucking the table
 
2022-01-21 6:29:10 PM  
Glad the hero tag is appropriately used and I'm glad everything ended well.

/except for the guy who FAFO'd
 
2022-01-21 6:29:16 PM  
Who teaches another person how to throw a chair?  How is that a life skill people pass on?  I get that it worked in this very specific situation, but it's not like you can make a trade out of it.
 
2022-01-21 6:31:59 PM  

12349876: Did not know this shooped version existed.
[media2.giphy.com image 480x360] [View Full Size image _x_]


external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 6:33:05 PM  
i.kym-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 6:33:13 PM  
Wasn't Jesus good with table-fu?   Must be because he was a carpenter.
 
2022-01-21 6:34:16 PM  

zeroman987: Combustion: This lady is his Master. "Master, how will I know when I'm ready for the table?" "Ohhhh Grasshopper, start with a chair, then you move up to the tables."
[media1.giphy.com image 460x259]

She caught a folding chair that was thrown at her.

More impressive than chucking the table


Got to be honest, I wouldn't have assumed I could pick up and toss that table. I'm impressed by the confidence.
 
2022-01-21 6:36:48 PM  

pastramithemosterotic: iheartscotch: Furniture only breaks over someone's back the first time in movies. You can really hurt another person with a chair.

Depends on the chair.

I wouldn't want to get hit with a chair from an solid wood Amish dining set, for example. Folding chair would be alright though


I think I would prefer to avoid being hit by any errant furniture regardless of its provenance.
 
2022-01-21 6:37:44 PM  
Chair throwing is valuable skill
goldfrapp
Youtube x_Cky2ffyb4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBZwdNgn0iA
 
2022-01-21 6:39:16 PM  

Valter: pastramithemosterotic: iheartscotch: Furniture only breaks over someone's back the first time in movies. You can really hurt another person with a chair.

Depends on the chair.

I wouldn't want to get hit with a chair from an solid wood Amish dining set, for example. Folding chair would be alright though

I think I would prefer to avoid being hit by any errant furniture regardless of its provenance.


Dammit, I always think of the clever thing to say after I click add comment. I'm so glad we don't have an edit post functionality.

You've been hit by - you've been struck by a smooth chairminal.

Michael Jackson - Smooth Criminal (Official Video)
Youtube h_D3VFfhvs4
 
2022-01-21 6:41:35 PM  
Imma let you finish, but the guy who threw a chair at Geraldo Rivera is the greatest chair thrower of all time.
 
2022-01-21 6:41:50 PM  
That's one thing I learned when I was young and not as good at controlling my temper as I should've been: if you're arguing with someone and you pick up a chair as if to throw it, you will suddenly have their complete and undivided attention. It's the ultimate talking pillow.
 
2022-01-21 6:52:28 PM  

Creepy Lurker Guy: Wasn't Jesus good with table-fu?   Must be because he was a carpenter.


Jesus Was A B-Boy (feat. Jemeni)
Youtube iVlxvCm-DfY
wxjBEWyquhw
 
2022-01-21 6:55:08 PM  
Where does it say Jesus was a carpenter? Is that the literal translation of the greek?
 
2022-01-21 6:58:17 PM  

pastramithemosterotic: iheartscotch: Furniture only breaks over someone's back the first time in movies. You can really hurt another person with a chair.

Depends on the chair.

I wouldn't want to get hit with a chair from an solid wood Amish dining set, for example. Folding chair would be alright though


Until you get it right in the face/noggin, then it hurts.
 
2022-01-21 6:59:55 PM  
Looks like the rabbi was *sunglasses* in a chairing mood.
 
2022-01-21 7:00:05 PM  
I learned all my skills from the one true master...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 7:00:15 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Hey, what about me?
 
2022-01-21 7:03:25 PM  
The Critic - Home Alone 5 and Rabbi P.I.
Youtube LnP9PU71LaQ
 
2022-01-21 7:07:00 PM  
So that's the origin of the chair dance at the wedding
 
2022-01-21 7:09:42 PM  

Pats_Cloth_Coat: So that's the origin of the chair dance at the wedding


That shiat is terrifying, yo.
 
2022-01-21 7:12:17 PM  
The day when Rock Almost killed Mankind..😱😱
Youtube z2gmGVBZ3zE
 
2022-01-21 7:25:24 PM  

Scott_Free: [Fark user image 400x600]
Hey, what about me?


nice zoot-suit
 
2022-01-21 7:34:14 PM  

trippdogg: I learned all my skills from the one true master...

[Fark user image 320x240] [View Full Size image _x_]


I see you have logged into SWMUD.
 
2022-01-21 7:35:16 PM  

zeroman987: Combustion: This lady is his Master. "Master, how will I know when I'm ready for the table?" "Ohhhh Grasshopper, start with a chair, then you move up to the tables."
[media1.giphy.com image 460x259]

She caught a folding chair that was thrown at her.

More impressive than chucking the table


Man, have you ever moved one of those tables? They aren't light. And she managed to do it with the legs open, which throws off the whole moment of inertia. That was a really impressive throw.
 
2022-01-21 7:57:19 PM  
i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 8:16:10 PM  
Bob Knight's dead right? I would hate to think I celebrated for nothing.
 
2022-01-21 8:57:25 PM  

foo monkey: Who teaches another person how to throw a chair?  How is that a life skill people pass on?  I get that it worked in this very specific situation, but it's not like you can make a trade out of it.


palelizard: zeroman987: Combustion: This lady is his Master. "Master, how will I know when I'm ready for the table?" "Ohhhh Grasshopper, start with a chair, then you move up to the tables."
[media1.giphy.com image 460x259]

She caught a folding chair that was thrown at her.

More impressive than chucking the table

Got to be honest, I wouldn't have assumed I could pick up and toss that table. I'm impressed by the confidence.


It seems some of you have never had to work in a cafeteria. Sure, those tables aren't all that heavy, but the wind drag has to be incredible for a full baseball swing like that
 
2022-01-21 9:17:53 PM  
Meanwhile, the congress woman from Colorado continues displaying her hateful white trash garbage, as per usual.
Fark user imageView Full Size


Oh guys, it was a joke!
 
2022-01-21 9:30:34 PM  
Our "active shooter" training at work is the same thing. Run, hide, fight. If you have no other options, hit 'em with whatever you've got. Can't imagine actually doing it, though. Rabbi is the fark'n man for getting his people out of there alive.
 
2022-01-21 9:30:37 PM  

12349876: Did not know this shooped version existed.
[media2.giphy.com image 480x360]


I know the guy on the free throw line. Steve Reid was from my hometown and his dad was a legendary basketball coach at Rock Island high school.
 
2022-01-21 10:03:02 PM  
What bothers me most is that this is needed.
 
2022-01-21 10:48:36 PM  

hoodiowithtudio: Where does it say Jesus was a carpenter? Is that the literal translation of the greek?


Not that I've ever seen.  From what I remember there is a line saying he was a common laborer but nothing about being a skilled worker much less in what field.  People confused him with his father who was stated to be a carpenter.

Sort of like the "3 kings".  Of all the stories this is one of the most improbable, nowhere does it say that there were 3 of them, and they weren't kings.  But you have people who will still claim that it says so in the bible and claim that it even says their names.  And if REALLY want to see someone cover their ears and start chanting "LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU" point out that the writings call them magicians, and in the old testament it states that all magicians are devil worshipers.
 
2022-01-21 10:49:00 PM  

Jerry Curlan's Horsey: foo monkey: Who teaches another person how to throw a chair?  How is that a life skill people pass on?  I get that it worked in this very specific situation, but it's not like you can make a trade out of it.

palelizard: zeroman987: Combustion: This lady is his Master. "Master, how will I know when I'm ready for the table?" "Ohhhh Grasshopper, start with a chair, then you move up to the tables."
[media1.giphy.com image 460x259]

She caught a folding chair that was thrown at her.

More impressive than chucking the table

Got to be honest, I wouldn't have assumed I could pick up and toss that table. I'm impressed by the confidence.

It seems some of you have never had to work in a cafeteria. Sure, those tables aren't all that heavy, but the wind drag has to be incredible for a full baseball swing like that


And it wasn't like she grabbed it mid-way, that was a full-on swing from the bottom of the bat. Light or not, that couldn't have been easy, leverage-wise.
 
2022-01-21 11:02:17 PM  

LewDux: Chair throwing is valuable skill
[YouTube video: goldfrapp]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBZwdNgn0iA


What is that from? That was actually pretty cool, especially the guitar.
 
2022-01-22 4:42:53 AM  
I've seen lots of Chinese/Hong Kong Kung Fu movies to know that ANYTHING can be used
as a defensive or offensive weapon in a pinch...

kungfun.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-22 8:26:04 AM  

SergeantObvious: LewDux: Chair throwing is valuable skill
[YouTube video: goldfrapp]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBZwdNgn0iA

What is that from? That was actually pretty cool, especially the guitar.


Is that rhetorical question?
/"from Italy"? https://www.candyrat.com/artists/SergioAltamura
 
2022-01-22 9:36:32 AM  

Uck The SJWs: Imma let you finish, but the guy who threw a chair at Geraldo Rivera is the greatest chair thrower of all time.


can we talk about shoes, too? Because George Bush dodging a shoe that was thrown at him was pretty priceless..
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-22 10:43:16 AM  

Snooza: Uck The SJWs: Imma let you finish, but the guy who threw a chair at Geraldo Rivera is the greatest chair thrower of all time.

can we talk about shoes, too? Because George Bush dodging a shoe that was thrown at him was pretty priceless..
[Fark user image image 468x289]


I've said this before and I'll say it. I would dodge the first shoe as well and get hit with the second shoe while bragging about not getting hit by the first shoe.
 
2022-01-22 11:40:52 AM  
Last paragraph of the article may be the best advice in the article:

When the hair on the back of your neck is standing up and all the bells in your head are ringing and you know something is wrong, don't say it's probably nothing. Listen to your instincts and commit to action on those instincts.

Getting yourself out of the bad situation before it goes completely sideways is the single best thing a person can do.  Leaving the convenience store when the totally sus person walks in.  Crossing the street when you see danger on your side half a block away.  Pulling into the police station parking lot when the headlights have been following you for far too long.  Not having the second drink when subby's Mom invites you in.  Those things can be the difference.
 
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