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(PureWow)   Congratulations on being together with your partner for ten years. Now you should ask these uncomfortable questions   (purewow.com) divider line
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959 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 21 Jan 2022 at 9:05 AM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



36 Comments     (+0 »)
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2022-01-21 9:07:48 AM  
Any litigator will tell you that you should never ask a question to which you don't already know the answer.
 
2022-01-21 9:07:52 AM  
1. Are you happy with the life we've built together?
2. Do you sometimes wish we had/didn't have kids?
3. Do you still love/feel attracted to me?
4. What are your goals for the next 10 years?
5. Are you satisfied with your overall quality of life?
 
2022-01-21 9:10:22 AM  
6. Can we do butt stuff now?
 
2022-01-21 9:10:49 AM  

mike_d85: 4. What are your goals for the next 10 years?


What do I look like, some double communist? Why would I make a Ten Year Plan?

/If you don't know the answer to most of these questions, you should reconsider the relationship
 
2022-01-21 9:11:01 AM  

Wookie_Jesus: 6. Can we do butt stuff now?


If it hasn't happened in 10 years, it ain't gonna.
 
2022-01-21 9:13:24 AM  
Missing:

6. What is your actual name?
7. Do you think we should, maybe, consummate this marriage soon?
8. Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
 
2022-01-21 9:19:14 AM  

mike_d85: Wookie_Jesus: 6. Can we do butt stuff now?

If it hasn't happened in 10 years, it ain't gonna.


Well, for me and my partner it took 12 years and a drunken night in Puerto Rico.

So I encourage everyone to never give up.....
don't ever give up.
 
2022-01-21 9:21:17 AM  

mike_d85: 1. Are you happy with the life we've built together?
2. Do you sometimes wish we had/didn't have kids?
3. Do you still love/feel attracted to me?
4. What are your goals for the next 10 years?
5. Are you satisfied with your overall quality of life?


Start with 2 and from there you already know the answer to the rest of the questions.
 
2022-01-21 9:24:02 AM  
6. How many lights do you see there?
 
2022-01-21 9:24:10 AM  
Questions you should not ask:

1.  Why don't you lose some weight?
2.  Why don't you make more money?
 
2022-01-21 9:24:27 AM  
6. Do you think your friend Amber is cute?
 
2022-01-21 9:25:25 AM  
Do you still think it is your PANTS that make your ass look big?
 
2022-01-21 9:31:12 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 9:50:50 AM  
Those might have been helpful questions for us to discuss....30 years ago.  At (a little over) 40 years together, we've pretty much covered them all.  And somehow, we still like being around each other.
 
2022-01-21 10:08:32 AM  
Yea, those will spark a lot of trouble.

Marriage works best when you accept  the roller coaster journey that it is and just enjoy the ride to see where you end up next.
 
2022-01-21 10:08:33 AM  

Wookie_Jesus: mike_d85: Wookie_Jesus: 6. Can we do butt stuff now?

If it hasn't happened in 10 years, it ain't gonna.

Well, for me and my partner it took 12 years and a drunken night in Puerto Rico.

So I encourage everyone to never give up.....
don't ever give up.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 10:11:30 AM  
1. Are you happy with the life we've built together? - I can't imagine living any other way, so... yes.

2. Do you sometimes wish we had/didn't have kids? - Sometimes? Yes, I sometimes wish we didn't have a kid.  That feeling lasts about 30 seconds before I remember how wonderful it makes me feel when my daughter smiles at me.

3. Do you still love/feel attracted to me? - Love: yes.  Feel attracted: I'm not sure.  Between my lack of libido and your seeming lack of concern for your health/appearance, not really.

4. What are your goals for the next 10 years? I don't really have any.

5. Are you satisfied with your overall quality of life? No, but I know I'm much more satisfied than I was six months ago and I'm confident things will continue to improve going forward.
 
2022-01-21 10:15:24 AM  
2 is not an uncomfortable question. Admitting that raising kids is farking challenging, and that we'd have more money, free time, and less stress if we didn't have them isn't a big deal. Realizing how happy they make us in spite of all that is what keeps us going. If perspective makes you uncomfortable, you have bigger issues.
 
2022-01-21 10:21:55 AM  

DerAppie: mike_d85: 4. What are your goals for the next 10 years?

What do I look like, some double communist? Why would I make a Ten Year Plan?

/If you don't know the answer to most of these questions, you should reconsider the relationship


2 Five Year Plans isn't too bad. The yield on Campus and Industrial Zone adjacent bonuses would be bananas.
 
2022-01-21 10:29:15 AM  
If I make it ten years with someone, everything is fine, just leave it alone.

/Never have
//and too old to do it now, unless he's outside right now
 
2022-01-21 10:44:22 AM  

Pocket Ninja: Any litigator will tell you that you should never ask a question to which you don't already know the answer.


Yeah, no shiat.

These are *disastrous* questions to ask.

As you get older you learn that when it comes to relationships, a certain amount of ignorance is, in fact, bliss.
 
2022-01-21 10:59:40 AM  

mike_d85: 1. Are you happy with the life we've built together?
2. Do you sometimes wish we had/didn't have kids?
3. Do you still love/feel attracted to me?
4. What are your goals for the next 10 years?
5. Are you satisfied with your overall quality of life?


I'm okay with most of those questions, but the "What are your goals for the next 10 years?" question is horrible.  My wife and I HATE that question.  Mainly cause neither of us really have a clue.

/hate job interviewing for that reason too (and other reasons)
 
2022-01-21 11:35:53 AM  

mike_d85: 1. Are you happy with the life we've built together?
2. Do you sometimes wish we had/didn't have kids?
3. Do you still love/feel attracted to me?
4. What are your goals for the next 10 years?
5. Are you satisfied with your overall quality of life?


1. Are you happy with the life we've built together?

Yes, except that you've spent the last 7 of it taking care of your parents you moved from California because "it's better for them." Can I have my wife back please?

2. Do you sometimes wish we had/didn't have kids?

Was already off the table before we married.

3. Do you still love/feel attracted to me?

Yes, although I wish you were more outwardly affectionate instead of saving it all for freaky bedroom shenanigans.

4. What are your goals for the next 10 years?

Pay down the house enough to retire from the current job, take my pension, and go work part-time at a hobby.

5. Are you satisfied with your overall quality of life?

I can't complain too much. Without you, I would still be living alone in a 2-bedroom duplex that I would have paid off the same year we would
have married and then banked about an extra $20K a year.
 
2022-01-21 11:53:23 AM  

mike_d85: 1. Are you happy with the life we've built together?
2. Do you sometimes wish we had/didn't have kids?
3. Do you still love/feel attracted to me?
4. What are your goals for the next 10 years?
5. Are you satisfied with your overall quality of life?


mrs mcmnky and I actually ask each other those questions on the regular. (except for the 10-yr goal, we both know the goal is win the lottery and retire to Ireland)

I feel less disfunctional than usual. 👍
 
2022-01-21 12:02:25 PM  

mike_d85: 1. Are you happy with the life we've built together?
2. Do you sometimes wish we had/didn't have kids?
3. Do you still love/feel attracted to me?
4. What are your goals for the next 10 years?
5. Are you satisfied with your overall quality of life?


If you wait 10 years to fathom these questions, your more than 10 years late to ask them.
 
2022-01-21 12:37:44 PM  
PureWow? I'll get my marriage advice from Cosmo or Vogue like any normal person, thankyouverymuch.

/dnrtfa
 
2022-01-21 12:44:54 PM  

mike_d85: Wookie_Jesus: 6. Can we do butt stuff now?

If it hasn't happened in 10 years, it ain't gonna.



Don't be too sure.

Hand her the strap-on, bend over, and see what happens.
 
2022-01-21 1:15:16 PM  

mike_d85: 1. Are you happy with the life we've built together?
2. Do you sometimes wish we had/didn't have kids?
3. Do you still love/feel attracted to me?
4. What are your goals for the next 10 years?
5. Are you satisfied with your overall quality of life?


1.  Mostly, happy is a relative term.  I don't know that i ever have been or will truly be 'happy'.  Depression lurks around every corner whether you think it's a real thing or not.

2. No regrets about not having kids, her either.

3.  Love? Yes.  Am I attracted to you?  My libido has been non-existent for as long as I can remember but I'll say yes.  I still have no idea what my appeal as a partner is.

4. The answer i would have given ten years ago redefines meaningless, so I'm going to punt in this one

5.  Yes but I still have hangups about financial and domestic security that I don't see myself getting over.
 
2022-01-21 2:45:30 PM  

realmolo: Pocket Ninja: Any litigator will tell you that you should never ask a question to which you don't already know the answer.

Yeah, no shiat.

These are *disastrous* questions to ask.

As you get older you learn that when it comes to relationships, a certain amount of ignorance is, in fact, bliss.


No the disaster part comes in when you don't ask these questions and discuss this stuff on a regular basis.  If you are only talking about this stuff once every ten year, then it is very likely that your relationship is not going to last ten year.
 
2022-01-21 3:12:06 PM  

Current Resident: 6. How many lights do you see there?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-21 4:48:36 PM  
I came across this a while ago. It's an interesting read...but more for people you just met.
The love list SFW
 
2022-01-21 6:21:10 PM  
I met the future mrs. at a Halloween party in 1971. So, over [eddie izzard voice] 50 years ago. I'd seen her across the room at a friend's house around a month earlier but couldn't think of a way to break the ice.

After a certain point, those kinds of questions are a tad irrelevant. Would you ask them about your arms or eyes?
 
2022-01-21 6:30:28 PM  
6. Is it love, or Stockholm syndrome?

After 30 years I don't really know.
 
2022-01-21 6:31:47 PM  

marklar: I came across this a while ago. It's an interesting read...but more for people you just met.
The love list SFW


1-5.
6. In these kinds of questions I echo the sentiment of HG Wells who replied when he was asked if he'd like to be reincarnated, "No. Once is enough for little HG."
7-32
33. I'd regret not telling anyone about my requests for burial. [thrown over a cliff into a gorge full of ravening beasts]
34-36
 
2022-01-21 8:39:43 PM  
It's been 29 years.  Talking is out of the question.
 
2022-01-21 10:28:51 PM  

Spice Must Flow: Current Resident: 6. How many lights do you see there?

[Fark user image 425x425]


Yes...
 
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