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(The Chaser)   Today's "story so patently ridiculous the local Onion knockoff just gave up and copied the Guardian article on it word-for-word" brought to you by... really, Australia? Maybe stick to the schnitzels   (chaser.com.au) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Australia, Need, Commercial item transport and distribution, high-risk work licence, Pallet, Prime minister, Scott Morrison, part of measures  
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3926 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Jan 2022 at 11:01 AM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



41 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-01-20 9:56:25 AM  
G'day mates, I made some schnitzels on the barbie just last week.

Fark user imageView Full Size


They were delicious.
 
2022-01-20 10:22:16 AM  
As if Australia hasn't got enough things that can kill you.

Forklift warehouse fails
Youtube eZD40qcrecg
 
2022-01-20 11:00:20 AM  
Victoria Australia is the most safety regulated place in the world yet the work death stats don't show any advantage.

Where I work one of the owners is certified to work on high voltage feeder lines to mines but can't change a light switch in his house.  The high voltage stuff is the 470,000 volt cross country stuff yet the 240v stuff in his house is too dangerous.  Aussie electricians electrocute themselves more often than anywhere else in the world where it is recorded.  New Zealand uses the same eletrical standard and when they started allowing home owners to do their own wiring, electrocutions went down substantially.

For me to run the forklift in the warehouse at work, I need to take a refresher course and have my "white card" and current CPR and first aid and HR signoff.  On the other hand I could replace the hydraulic cylinder that does the heavy lifting with out any of that.  I do occasional work on the top of skyscrapers (because I like the view) and that take all sorts of odd paperwork even though the roof isn't much different than a modern apartment deck unless there is bad weather... which is only a foot note in the paperwork.

Here if my boss lets a 17 yr old drive the forklift and an accident happens and someone dies, my boss will go to jail for 2 years.  If someone does something like breaking an arm with no long term damage, the fines start at half a million dollars.  I end up doing lots of babysitting of employees and contractors around the company these days.  One project has the requirement for employees to take the SFICRO306 class "work safely in crocodile habitats."
 
2022-01-20 11:05:15 AM  
When you're carrying around that much insane bullshiat, you need all the forklift drivers you can get.
 
2022-01-20 11:08:24 AM  
"Morrison is likely to tell state premiers he is passing on a suggestion from industry."

history.comView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-20 11:10:52 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-20 11:13:06 AM  
. . .  a person was killed in a forklift accident in Victoria on Tuesday.

well, clearly age isn't the key to safety you might think it is
 
2022-01-20 11:16:09 AM  
Does Klaus have kids?

German Forklift Training Video (high-quality)
Youtube _Cr7F-oLU84
 
2022-01-20 11:17:59 AM  
I've driven forklifts. I've worked in places with a lot of forklifts running around. Trust me, there are already plenty of children operating those things.
 
2022-01-20 11:19:41 AM  
Yes, yes.  Child labor will save us all.  Tell us more, conservative politician.
 
2022-01-20 11:20:06 AM  
German Forklift Training Video (high-quality)
Youtube _Cr7F-oLU84
 
2022-01-20 11:20:30 AM  
It's just not your children, Subby.  They're not crazy.
 
2022-01-20 11:21:24 AM  
Future placard: "Illegals are tryin' to take our kid's jerbs!"
 
2022-01-20 11:21:51 AM  
The real reason there is a shortage of fork lift operators is not because we refuse to let children operate fork lifts, but because the big corporations all refuse to take the time and expense to train and certify fork lift drivers themselves, like they used to do, and instead try to recruit fork lift drivers, and other industrial specialist from an ever increasing pool of already trained fork lift drivers.  They expect you to take the time and expense to learn to train yourself to be a forklift driver, which no one does, because the same industries refuse to pay enough to make such training valuable.  

Industry either needs to take on the expense of training or they need to take on the expense of paying well enough that people go out and get trained.  They will probably have to do both, as they have also hurt themselves by exaggerating and lying about how soon they would be able to replace all these specialist blue collar jobs with robots.

This is the reason why there is a shortage of truck drivers right now, because the people who do have the training come from an ever increasing shrinking pool of licensed operators, who are either dying off or retiring right now faster than they can be replaced.
 
2022-01-20 11:23:04 AM  

markie_farkie: G'day mates, I made some schnitzels on the barbie just last week.

[Fark user image 850x589]

They were delicious.


That looks really good.  Now I need to make hot German potato salad (bacon, onion sauteed in bacon fat, mustard, cider vinegar, beef bullion, al dente sliced potatoes, salt, pepper)

/Skip the sugar
//Don't do it!
///My wife says I should bottle and sell the sauce.
 
2022-01-20 11:26:20 AM  
The Chaser's most famous stunt was they faked a Canadian motorcade (skip to 1:32) to get past the security at the Asia-Pacific Economic Summit.  They also delivered Trojan horse to the Turkish Consulate and the Army HQ back in 2007.

Some of them went on to do a consumer affairs program called The Checkout which is the most informative show I've ever seen about consumer rights.
 
2022-01-20 11:27:05 AM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: As if Australia hasn't got enough things that can kill you.

[YouTube video: Forklift warehouse fails]


Somebody got fired
 
2022-01-20 11:29:14 AM  
Why is the stupid conservative go-to always to start hauling in younger and younger people to do insanely dangerous jobs like driving semi trucks cross country, or wander around using a piece of equipment that can literally stab holes in precast concrete walls and knock down entire warehouse shelving systems?

It's never, "maybe we need to encourage industry to pay better than the prevailing minimum wage and also offer some actual benefits". It's "WE JUST NEED A PILE OF 16 YEAR OLDS JOUSTING IN A WAREHOUSE WITH FORKLIFTS! DO THE COAL MINES NEED DRIVERS FOR THEIR FANCY TONKA TRUCKS? SEND IN THE 18 YEAR OLDS! NOT ENOUGH CNC OPERATORS? YOU CAN LEGALLY START WORKING AT 14 AND HIT A START BUTTON!"
 
2022-01-20 11:32:52 AM  

DON.MAC: Where I work one of the owners is certified to work on high voltage feeder lines to mines but can't change a light switch in his house.  The high voltage stuff is the 470,000 volt cross country stuff yet the 240v stuff in his house is too dangerous.  Aussie electricians electrocute themselves more often than anywhere else in the world where it is recorded.


In the UK we have fairly strict rules, but you are allowed to do a lot of DIY stuff yourself if you then get a qualified person to check it. Installing new windows for example have to meet all sorts of insulation and safety standards but you can do them yourself and then ring the local council who will send an inspector who will give you a certificate saying it is up to standard. I can even install a gas cooker myself, and that doesn't need anyone to check it!
On the other hand, touching an air conditioning system is right out unless you are F Gas qualified.
 
2022-01-20 11:33:48 AM  
This ad from TFA:
chaser.com.auView Full Size
 
2022-01-20 11:35:42 AM  
"One project has the requirement for employees to take the SFICRO306 class "work safely in crocodile habitats.""

I am now imagining a health and safety training that does course that goes "welcome to Australia. The wildlife are out to kill you."

More seriously, that doesn't seem too unreasonable, assuming there actually are crocodile near the work environment and not just a vague fear that one might show up one day. "listen up guys, special hazards you should watch out for when working on this site: mind the croc"
 
2022-01-20 11:44:11 AM  

SusanY: "One project has the requirement for employees to take the SFICRO306 class "work safely in crocodile habitats.""

I am now imagining a health and safety training that does course that goes "welcome to Australia. The wildlife are out to kill you."

More seriously, that doesn't seem too unreasonable, assuming there actually are crocodile near the work environment and not just a vague fear that one might show up one day. "listen up guys, special hazards you should watch out for when working on this site: mind the croc"


I imagine if you just took the forklift training material and search/replaced Forklift for Crocodile, it would be fairly on-point for most of its messaging.
 
2022-01-20 11:56:18 AM  

Teddy Brosevelt: Yes, yes.  Child labor will save us all.  Tell us more, conservative politician.


Oh, well..it was fun while it lasted

Child forklift drivers: Scott Morrison says the government not pursuing idea I SBS News
Youtube _DM6KdmeRPI
 
2022-01-20 12:01:49 PM  
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
 
2022-01-20 12:04:23 PM  
I've had to do a fair number of mandatory health and safety induction courses for science labs. "Don't fark with the  X" where X is the resident crocodile, forklift truck, etc. is usually the executive summary.
 
2022-01-20 12:04:33 PM  

winedrinkingman: This is the reason why there is a shortage of truck drivers right now, because the people who do have the training come from an ever increasing shrinking pool of licensed operators, who are either dying off or retiring right now faster than they can be replaced.


I talk to a bunch of truck drivers at work.  One told me that his pay had gone down by about $15,000 a year over his career (he's been a driver his entire working life), and now he's expected to train people too--who will then be hired at about what he's making now.

He's doing like everyone else--he's sticking it out for a few more years, then he's bailing as soon as he can.
 
2022-01-20 12:14:25 PM  

cryinoutloud: winedrinkingman: This is the reason why there is a shortage of truck drivers right now, because the people who do have the training come from an ever increasing shrinking pool of licensed operators, who are either dying off or retiring right now faster than they can be replaced.

I talk to a bunch of truck drivers at work.  One told me that his pay had gone down by about $15,000 a year over his career (he's been a driver his entire working life), and now he's expected to train people too--who will then be hired at about what he's making now.

He's doing like everyone else--he's sticking it out for a few more years, then he's bailing as soon as he can.


I would *really* like to see the math on this.  Let's say he's been working 20 years - you're telling me that his pay in year twenty is three hundred thousand dollars less than year one?!?
 
2022-01-20 12:16:08 PM  

CheekyMonkey: cryinoutloud: winedrinkingman: This is the reason why there is a shortage of truck drivers right now, because the people who do have the training come from an ever increasing shrinking pool of licensed operators, who are either dying off or retiring right now faster than they can be replaced.

I talk to a bunch of truck drivers at work.  One told me that his pay had gone down by about $15,000 a year over his career (he's been a driver his entire working life), and now he's expected to train people too--who will then be hired at about what he's making now.

He's doing like everyone else--he's sticking it out for a few more years, then he's bailing as soon as he can.

I would *really* like to see the math on this.  Let's say he's been working 20 years - you're telling me that his pay in year twenty is three hundred thousand dollars less than year one?!?


That would be $15,000 a year per year.
 
2022-01-20 12:39:38 PM  

CheekyMonkey: cryinoutloud: winedrinkingman: This is the reason why there is a shortage of truck drivers right now, because the people who do have the training come from an ever increasing shrinking pool of licensed operators, who are either dying off or retiring right now faster than they can be replaced.

I talk to a bunch of truck drivers at work.  One told me that his pay had gone down by about $15,000 a year over his career (he's been a driver his entire working life), and now he's expected to train people too--who will then be hired at about what he's making now.

He's doing like everyone else--he's sticking it out for a few more years, then he's bailing as soon as he can.

I would *really* like to see the math on this.  Let's say he's been working 20 years - you're telling me that his pay in year twenty is three hundred thousand dollars less than year one?!?


Yes, but in year one, when he was a hot-running young gun, he drove 3 days strait before taking a nap, because thiere was no regulations against it. And yes, a lot of people, including innocent by-drivers, were killed in the rush to get that load delivered, in order to get another to rush elsewhere. Sleep was gotten in the unload phase, or while waiting for the business to open, then back on the road. They made a lot of money in them days and burned out and crashed before becoming a trainer for other young guns to zoom around, making money. Times were different... men were real men, women were real women, and small furry creatures were real small furry creatures.
 
2022-01-20 2:35:45 PM  
I don't see how they could be worse at it than the adults currently doing it.

I'm one of the labor units in the private equity venture that employees me who receives Chemtrec notifications. Those notifications occur when there is a spill or release of a chemical and someone at the site calls it in to them. We receive around 3 to10 notifications a week.

In over ten years of receiving these notifications I have received TWO that were not related to a
1. Forklift puncture/drop/crush (probably 90% of them)
2. Crushed/punctured during shipment.
3. Unexplained leak during shipment
 
2022-01-20 3:01:50 PM  
This is so they can cut wages to experienced drivers.
 
2022-01-20 3:03:33 PM  
When the war goes poorly the age of the soldiers tends to drift towards the extremes.
 
2022-01-20 3:17:18 PM  
media-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-20 4:01:46 PM  

DON.MAC: One project has the requirement for employees to take the SFICRO306 class "work safely in crocodile habitats."


I need this.

Can it be done remotely or only face to face?
 
2022-01-20 4:38:36 PM  
PAY PEOPLE MORE, you greedy farks.  Stop looking for ways to weasel out of this.  Someone eventually needs to accept lower (not zero) profits, or it's going to end in blood.  Well, even more blood than it does presently.
 
2022-01-20 5:03:11 PM  

winedrinkingman: The real reason there is a shortage of fork lift operators is not because we refuse to let children operate fork lifts, but because the big corporations all refuse to take the time and expense to train and certify fork lift drivers themselves, like they used to do, and instead try to recruit fork lift drivers, and other industrial specialist from an ever increasing pool of already trained fork lift drivers.  They expect you to take the time and expense to learn to train yourself to be a forklift driver, which no one does, because the same industries refuse to pay enough to make such training valuable.  

Industry either needs to take on the expense of training or they need to take on the expense of paying well enough that people go out and get trained.  They will probably have to do both, as they have also hurt themselves by exaggerating and lying about how soon they would be able to replace all these specialist blue collar jobs with robots.

This is the reason why there is a shortage of truck drivers right now, because the people who do have the training come from an ever increasing shrinking pool of licensed operators, who are either dying off or retiring right now faster than they can be replaced.


What big corporations are doing this? I know you said they all are, but I don't know of any that do this.
 
2022-01-20 5:15:32 PM  
Here's their next great idea.

media-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-20 5:26:37 PM  

ansius: Here's their next great idea.

[media-amazon.com image 850x1258]


I just realised that I used an image from a modern remake of the old TV series.

TIL that there was a modern remake of Dad's Army.
 
2022-01-20 8:17:11 PM  

sheumack: DON.MAC: One project has the requirement for employees to take the SFICRO306 class "work safely in crocodile habitats."

I need this.

Can it be done remotely or only face to face?


Look up the course code at one of the online training places.  Should be about $150 I think.  Be the only person at your company properly certified!
 
2022-01-20 8:28:22 PM  

cryinoutloud: I talk to a bunch of truck drivers at work.  One told me that his pay had gone down by about $15,000 a year over his career (he's been a driver his entire working life), and now he's expected to train people too--who will then be hired at about what he's making now.


Around here there were union truck drivers that worked hauling car parts for Ford, Holden and Toyota and that was a very well paid job.  Now there are no more local car plants and all the small car part companies are only making spares or truck parts now if they are still in business.  The GM/Holden union rejected a buyout offer involving Saab and Holden that set all Aussie pay within 10% of what the Swedes were getting for the same job with the same seniority.  The rule only effected a handful of people who would have been bought out with early retirement or moved to an even better paying job.  The union killed the deal and now they get paid nothing and now I can't buy a new Saab or Holden.
 
2022-01-21 2:05:54 AM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: As if Australia hasn't got enough things that can kill you.

[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/eZD40qcrecg?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsapi=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&widgetid=1]


That video is 70% of my work related nightmares come to life.
 
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