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(Fark)   PDX Farkers: Any tips on finding an apartment or house to rent that will let me smoke on the patio? Not having any luck in Portland   (fark.com) divider line
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94 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 19 Jan 2022 at 5:20 PM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



42 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-01-19 5:00:31 PM  
Without having any idea of what part of the PDX area you need to be... try Gresham, Foster or somewhere down around Gladstone or Oregon City.
 
2022-01-19 5:07:15 PM  
Landlords can be finicky about that. I mean, a shiatton of Portland is protected by law due to their historic nature. Many of Portland's Victorian buildings hark back to the great fire of 1866.
 
2022-01-19 5:17:04 PM  
Switch to smoking the devils lettuce and you can light up most anywhere you like.
 
2022-01-19 5:21:52 PM  
Switch to buttchugging vape juice.
 
2022-01-19 5:34:50 PM  
Quit smoking.

I'm not being flippant. I know it's hard. I quit like 10 years ago and it's one of the best things I've ever done for myself.

Plus, it's f*cking expensive.
 
2022-01-19 5:35:51 PM  

cman: Landlords can be finicky about that. I mean, a shiatton of Portland is protected by law due to their historic nature. Many of Portland's Victorian buildings hark back to the great fire of 1866.


While the 'great fire' wasn't cosed by smokers.

I'm pretty sure most everyone smoked those historic buildings.

Heck...one of my art historian friends when I was painting the kitchen ...I was speaking of colors...and he said
"the yellow, the jewel tone yellow "Arizona Sunset" as a base....kitchen color, like in a Van Gogh ...but give it a good wiping down with some diluted min wax mahogany stain in a rag wipe... like it's had 100 years of cetrarate smoke seasoning it."
 
2022-01-19 5:47:26 PM  
Well there used to be a long-time Farker who lived someone right there in that area you might have asked, but I think he might be, um, unavailable. For a while.
 
2022-01-19 5:50:32 PM  
Don't tell a potential landlord that you intend to smoke combustibles outside on the patio.
 
2022-01-19 5:52:42 PM  

Pocket Ninja: Well there used to be a long-time Farker who lived someone right there in that area you might have asked, but I think he might be, um, unavailable. For a while.


Well I do know if he's not dead that his apartment doesn't allow smoking on the patio.
 
2022-01-19 5:54:08 PM  

G-Ride: Don't tell a potential landlord that you intend to smoke combustibles outside on the patio.


Unfortunately, many smokers are not able to detect the lingering tobacco odors on their clothes.  So, they try to lie and say they don't smoke and others know they are lying and assume the worst.
 
2022-01-19 5:54:56 PM  

cherryl taggart: G-Ride: Don't tell a potential landlord that you intend to smoke combustibles outside on the patio.

Unfortunately, many smokers are not able to detect the lingering tobacco odors on their clothes.  So, they try to lie and say they don't smoke and others know they are lying and assume the worst.


Yeah...what about cat owners.
 
2022-01-19 5:55:06 PM  

Pocket Ninja: Well there used to be a long-time Farker who lived someone right there in that area you might have asked, but I think he might be, um, unavailable. For a while.


We've got around 11 more years until we have to deal with that special brand of crazy again, for anyone keeping track.
 
2022-01-19 5:57:01 PM  
I mean there was this one guy and he was like banned from the bar until he got rid of his cat collection.

Dude smelled like cat pee...like strong cat pee...and he was nose blind to it.

I'd much rather have a smoker next cube than a cat stinking pee dude.
 
2022-01-19 5:57:37 PM  
Sure, Vancouver WA across the river.
 
2022-01-19 5:58:48 PM  

cherryl taggart: G-Ride: Don't tell a potential landlord that you intend to smoke combustibles outside on the patio.

Unfortunately, many smokers are not able to detect the lingering tobacco odors on their clothes.  So, they try to lie and say they don't smoke and others know they are lying and assume the worst.


lying by omission is not lying!
 
2022-01-19 6:05:53 PM  
What sort of house could you not smoke on the patio?

An apartment you could make the case that the smoke lingers to other balconies, but an outside patio, on a house?
 
2022-01-19 6:14:06 PM  
Substitute your addiction with popcorn.
It works
Good luck!
 
2022-01-19 6:17:42 PM  
They won't let you smoke outdoors?  JFC.  Portland is such a joke.
 
2022-01-19 6:18:56 PM  

ryebread: We've got around 11 more years until we have to deal with that special brand of crazy again, for anyone keeping track.


Man, a multi-year ban hammer? Impressive.
 
2022-01-19 6:25:23 PM  

ryebread: Pocket Ninja: Well there used to be a long-time Farker who lived someone right there in that area you might have asked, but I think he might be, um, unavailable. For a while.

We've got around 11 more years until we have to deal with that special brand of crazy again, for anyone keeping track.


11 years solid and then done, or 11 years and then possible parole?
 
2022-01-19 6:25:45 PM  
Something happened to Gary?
 
2022-01-19 6:31:10 PM  
just lie, and then do what you want. pussy
 
2022-01-19 6:33:03 PM  

cman: ryebread: Pocket Ninja: Well there used to be a long-time Farker who lived someone right there in that area you might have asked, but I think he might be, um, unavailable. For a while.

We've got around 11 more years until we have to deal with that special brand of crazy again, for anyone keeping track.

11 years solid and then done, or 11 years and then possible parole?


Sentenced to 16 years in 2017. Not sure about time served, parole, etc.
 
2022-01-19 6:38:37 PM  

Shostie: Quit smoking.

I'm not being flippant. I know it's hard. I quit like 10 years ago and it's one of the best things I've ever done for myself.

Plus, it's f*cking expensive.


Except the submitter wasn't asking about how to quit smoking, Mr. Self Righteous.
 
2022-01-19 6:57:41 PM  

optikeye: I mean there was this one guy and he was like banned from the bar until he got rid of his cat collection.

Dude smelled like cat pee...like strong cat pee...and he was nose blind to it.

I'd much rather have a smoker next cube than a cat stinking pee dude.


FYI - meth labs smell like cat pee too.
 
2022-01-19 7:14:06 PM  

casey17: optikeye: I mean there was this one guy and he was like banned from the bar until he got rid of his cat collection.

Dude smelled like cat pee...like strong cat pee...and he was nose blind to it.

I'd much rather have a smoker next cube than a cat stinking pee dude.

FYI - meth labs smell like cat pee too.


Reminds me of the Nate Bargatze line... "what kind of life do you live if you can tell the difference between mace and pepper spray?"
 
2022-01-19 7:35:03 PM  

Jake Havechek: Shostie: Quit smoking.

I'm not being flippant. I know it's hard. I quit like 10 years ago and it's one of the best things I've ever done for myself.

Plus, it's f*cking expensive.

Except the submitter wasn't asking about how to quit smoking, Mr. Self Righteous.


media0.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-19 7:48:01 PM  

BretMavrik: Without having any idea of what part of the PDX area you need to be... try Gresham


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-19 7:51:25 PM  

redahle: Something happened to Gary?


Yup, he got show down.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-19 7:56:26 PM  

SurelyShirley: redahle: Something happened to Gary?

Yup, he got show down.

[Fark user image 262x192]


Shot down, too. 🙈
 
2022-01-19 8:33:42 PM  

ryebread: cman: ryebread: Pocket Ninja: Well there used to be a long-time Farker who lived someone right there in that area you might have asked, but I think he might be, um, unavailable. For a while.

We've got around 11 more years until we have to deal with that special brand of crazy again, for anyone keeping track.

11 years solid and then done, or 11 years and then possible parole?

Sentenced to 16 years in 2017. Not sure about time served, parole, etc.


That was fark's Gary?  Damn, I didn't hear about that.
 
2022-01-19 8:54:30 PM  

optikeye: I mean there was this one guy and he was like banned from the bar until he got rid of his cat collection.

Dude smelled like cat pee...like strong cat pee...and he was nose blind to it.

I'd much rather have a smoker next cube than a cat stinking pee dude.


There was a place used I used to go to downtown called The Matador that had I strangely worded sign behind the bar that said "You must not smell pee to drink here".  Or something.  The grammar was weird but I don't remember why.  I must have been drunk or something.
 
2022-01-19 9:17:46 PM  
So uh, when I made that comment above I had no idea what the story was. If it's what I just read, well, my choice of words was...oof.
 
2022-01-19 9:22:54 PM  

The Headless Horseman's Headless Horse: So uh, when I made that comment above I had no idea what the story was. If it's what I just read, well, my choice of words was...oof.


I's just about to ask you if that was a joke. You'd have gotten funnies if you played it off as intentional.
 
2022-01-19 9:26:47 PM  

lizyrd: I's just about to ask you if that was a joke. You'd have gotten funnies if you played it off as intentional.


Nope, not intentional. Not at all.
 
2022-01-19 11:11:57 PM  

ryebread: cman: ryebread: Pocket Ninja: Well there used to be a long-time Farker who lived someone right there in that area you might have asked, but I think he might be, um, unavailable. For a while.

We've got around 11 more years until we have to deal with that special brand of crazy again, for anyone keeping track.

11 years solid and then done, or 11 years and then possible parole?

Sentenced to 16 years in 2017. Not sure about time served, parole, etc.


Seriously? I mean, even though the guy and I had diametrically opposed views on 99.9% of things, he liked me for some reason and would have friendly and entertaining communications with me outside of Fark via email, so I do know his full true name. Got a link to the story about what happened? I have not heard of this.
 
2022-01-19 11:22:31 PM  

Cyberluddite: ryebread: cman: ryebread: Pocket Ninja: Well there used to be a long-time Farker who lived someone right there in that area you might have asked, but I think he might be, um, unavailable. For a while.

We've got around 11 more years until we have to deal with that special brand of crazy again, for anyone keeping track.

11 years solid and then done, or 11 years and then possible parole?

Sentenced to 16 years in 2017. Not sure about time served, parole, etc.

Seriously? I mean, even though the guy and I had diametrically opposed views on 99.9% of things, he liked me for some reason and would have friendly and entertaining communications with me outside of Fark via email, so I do know his full true name. Got a link to the story about what happened? I have not heard of this.


Incidentally, I just Googled his full name (and his surname is not particularly common, so there aren't that many hits), and there's no story of any criminal matters under his name. So this may be a case of mistaken identity.
 
2022-01-19 11:43:07 PM  

Cyberluddite: Cyberluddite: ryebread: cman: ryebread: Pocket Ninja: Well there used to be a long-time Farker who lived someone right there in that area you might have asked, but I think he might be, um, unavailable. For a while.

We've got around 11 more years until we have to deal with that special brand of crazy again, for anyone keeping track.

11 years solid and then done, or 11 years and then possible parole?

Sentenced to 16 years in 2017. Not sure about time served, parole, etc.

Seriously? I mean, even though the guy and I had diametrically opposed views on 99.9% of things, he liked me for some reason and would have friendly and entertaining communications with me outside of Fark via email, so I do know his full true name. Got a link to the story about what happened? I have not heard of this.

Incidentally, I just Googled his full name (and his surname is not particularly common, so there aren't that many hits), and there's no story of any criminal matters under his name. So this may be a case of mistaken identity.


There were a lot of coincidences and some rumors, but I don't think anything was ever confirmed. That said, it is absolutely headcanon for me.
 
2022-01-19 11:48:09 PM  

ryebread: Cyberluddite: Cyberluddite: ryebread: cman: ryebread: Pocket Ninja: Well there used to be a long-time Farker who lived someone right there in that area you might have asked, but I think he might be, um, unavailable. For a while.

We've got around 11 more years until we have to deal with that special brand of crazy again, for anyone keeping track.

11 years solid and then done, or 11 years and then possible parole?

Sentenced to 16 years in 2017. Not sure about time served, parole, etc.

Seriously? I mean, even though the guy and I had diametrically opposed views on 99.9% of things, he liked me for some reason and would have friendly and entertaining communications with me outside of Fark via email, so I do know his full true name. Got a link to the story about what happened? I have not heard of this.

Incidentally, I just Googled his full name (and his surname is not particularly common, so there aren't that many hits), and there's no story of any criminal matters under his name. So this may be a case of mistaken identity.

There were a lot of coincidences and some rumors, but I don't think anything was ever confirmed. That said, it is absolutely headcanon for me.


The infamous Fark guy from PDX's last name rhymes with "cleaner." Does that jibe with such rumors/coincidences?
 
2022-01-19 11:59:30 PM  

Cyberluddite: Does that jibe with such rumors/coincidences?


I'm not looking to rustle the modmins' jimmies any more than I might already have dancing around the topic, so I'll just say check your email for a link.
 
2022-01-20 2:03:25 AM  
https://fark.com/comments/8299387/Sovereign-Citizen-about-to-find-out-if-yelling-man-overboard-complaining-about-fringe-on-flag-will-get-him-out-of-his-murder-trial#new

This might be relevant
 
2022-01-20 5:08:09 AM  

some_beer_drinker: just lie, and then do what you want. pussy


I lived in Portland for a few years and it wasn't uncommon for people to go out of their way to find me and tell me to stop smoking. Portlanders are some of the most judgemental busy bodies you'll ever meet. Around those parts, eventually someone will be offended enough to make your life difficult.

There was once a lady who crossed an entire Fred Meyer parking lot to where I was parked in the back far away from everybody, just to inform me I wasn't "allowed" to smoke and she would call the cops of I didn't put it out. I still think about her sometimes and envy the coddled life she must have lived that me smoking three football fields away from her was apparently just the absolute worst thing she'd ever experienced.
 
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