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(Patch)   Protip: When you're drunk don't go to Lifetime Fitness and harass people. Also don't kick a cop. And then kick another one   (patch.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Police, FAIRFAX CITY, law enforcement officers, Virginia, preliminary investigation, Alcohol intoxication, Intoxication, Washington, D.C.  
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1629 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Jan 2022 at 4:35 PM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



27 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-01-19 2:54:23 PM  
Also don't kick a cop. And then kick another one

So, don't kick the first cop, but do kick the next one?
 
2022-01-19 4:18:40 PM  

Sawdust and Mildew: Also don't kick a cop. And then kick another one

So, don't kick the first cop, but do kick the next one?


What have you got to lose at that point?  You're drunk at LIfetime Fitness, it's not as if your future is especially bright.
 
2022-01-19 4:36:59 PM  
You wouldn't...
 
2022-01-19 4:38:39 PM  
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
 
2022-01-19 4:40:29 PM  
Hey man, don't kink shame!
 
2022-01-19 4:44:05 PM  
He didn't have time for the cops, he had to be at the bar in 27 minutes.
 
2022-01-19 4:44:47 PM  
for assaulting a law enforcement officers and being drunk in public, according to the daily crime report."


In fairness, he was drunk in a fitness center. They threw him into public.
 
2022-01-19 4:52:55 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-19 4:54:10 PM  

steklo: [Fark user image image 771x919]


Got the original of that? I'm wondering what she was holding.
 
2022-01-19 4:54:58 PM  
A whole lot of wisdom there. Probably enough to base a minor religion on.

Thou shalt not get all drunk and rowdy. Unless it's your niece's wedding, but not like last time.
Thou shalt not go to Lifetime Fitness for any purpose, unless you have to pick up your drunk (again) uncle who got all rowdy
Thou shalt not harass people, no matter how funny that dude looks in spandex
Thou shalt not kick a cop, except that thou shall kick the second cop (the philosophical ramifications of this are immense)
Thou shalt not count two, except that thou shalt then go straight to three. Four is right out.
 
2022-01-19 4:55:56 PM  

Prof. Frink: steklo: [Fark user image image 771x919]

Got the original of that? I'm wondering what she was holding.


Found it. Hard to color-match dildoes on my cellphome.
 
2022-01-19 4:58:21 PM  

Prof. Frink: Got the original of that? I'm wondering what she was holding.


far as I know, it is the original. Looks like she's holding one of those rubber stress balls.

You know, when you're stressed and crush a rubber object in your hand?
 
2022-01-19 5:00:06 PM  

Prof. Frink: Prof. Frink: steklo: [Fark user image image 771x919]

Got the original of that? I'm wondering what she was holding.

Found it. Hard to color-match dildoes on my cellphome.


That's one tight nutsack!
 
2022-01-19 5:02:40 PM  
thats why i stopped drinking.

crack dont make you violent.
 
2022-01-19 5:08:14 PM  

steklo: Prof. Frink: Got the original of that? I'm wondering what she was holding.

far as I know, it is the original. Looks like she's holding one of those rubber stress balls.

You know, when you're stressed and crush a rubber object in your hand?


Or a rubber-wrapped object... Masturbating with a condom is the civilized way.
 
2022-01-19 5:11:13 PM  
He got a FARK handle? I'm wondering if this is the guy who flamed me in the POL tab the other day.
 
2022-01-19 5:19:10 PM  
Since a lot of cops want to be plague rats, I'd be kicking and screaming, too. Kudos, my friend.
 
2022-01-19 5:27:05 PM  
Lifetime Fitness?  Is it a place for people to exercise while being murdered by their husbands?
 
2022-01-19 6:00:39 PM  
Of all the places I'd figure a drunk person will feel drawn to going to, the gym was not high on my list.
 
2022-01-19 6:27:11 PM  

PartTimeBuddha: You wouldn't...


Steal a policeman's helmet...
 
2022-01-19 7:42:24 PM  

Sawdust and Mildew: Also don't kick a cop. And then kick another one

So, don't kick the first cop, but do kick the next one?


Or just the first one. I think the lesson here is only kick one cop, not both.
 
2022-01-19 7:43:53 PM  

buckeyebrain: [upload.wikimedia.org image 406x602]


Jair Moreno. Ummmm....I'm guessing not, but that doesn't fit your narrative so....
 
2022-01-19 7:46:57 PM  

Resident Muslim: Of all the places I'd figure a drunk person will feel drawn to going to, the gym was not high on my list.


Interesting note, some lifetime locations have full liquor bars in them.
 
2022-01-19 8:31:05 PM  

crackwhore: thats why i stopped drinking.

crack dont make you violent.


Username checks out......
 
2022-01-19 10:42:26 PM  
I'M SORRY! I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA!!!!
/eagle crying dot gif
 
2022-01-19 11:06:39 PM  
He better tuck in that attitude while inside.  Those Fairfax County deputies are goddamn sadistic, power-tripping lunatics. But he probably is aware of that by now.
 
2022-01-20 12:39:19 AM  
Getting drunk AND kicking cops?  Sounds f*cking amazing tbh.
 
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