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(Slate)   "My son's private school expects me to provide my expertise for free; I feel like I should be compensated for providing such services. I'm not wrong, am I?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Black people, White people, white man, private school, teenage son, Black woman, own little family, biological children  
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1543 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 19 Jan 2022 at 4:19 AM (16 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-01-19 1:07:50 AM  
They're called boundaries, set some.
 
2022-01-19 2:00:22 AM  

Dasher McHappenstance: They're called boundaries, set some.


Set your own, but giving and service should be in the scope of your boundaries.

If it benefits your kid, and other kids, you should do it.

Expecting to get paid borders on prostitution.
 
2022-01-19 2:14:21 AM  
Ah, read TFA, it's about a black woman being asked to speak about racial issues.

Do it for free, and dump all the guilt you can squeeze into your half hour talk, both about societal racism and the school in particular. They'll regret not paying you and they won't ask you back but they'll pay the next person so you can be proud you affected change in a private school.
 
2022-01-19 2:18:19 AM  
Don't do it. Negotiate a discount in tuition or something , never work for free at a for profit business, school, whatever for "exposure". You can get paid and get exposure.  If this were a church or non profit organization it'd be a crime to ask for payment, but it's not. They're a business and getting expertise for free is pure profit. But if your a communist then by all means go for free. Use your paid days off to attend.
 
2022-01-19 2:20:59 AM  
I'm a Black woman married to a white man and we have a teenage son together. Our son goes to a private school in the next town over that's probably 85 percent white, and one of the school's administrators asked if I could speak to the student body during their Black History Month celebration in February about the importance of creating a racially inclusive community. I'm not an experienced public speaker, but I have some good ideas about how the school could improve in that regard. The only sticking point is the school isn't willing to pay me to speak, and the admin said, "The speech will provide you with great exposure since it will be broadcast virtually to influential parents and boosters. Also, your speech could help numerous parents see the light, and you can't put a price tag on that." This irks me because this school is flush with cash, and I know they've paid other (white) speakers before. When I told my son that I wanted to approach the administration about wanting to be paid to do this, he begged me to speak at the event for free and not make a scene that could put a target on his back. I'm not sure how to proceed. Should I take the unpaid speech for the sake of my son?

Get f*cking paid!
If you're teaching, you should be paid for it.
It's obviously different when volunteering for student activities or whatnot. But if the school asks you to speak to the student body? Yeah, sh*t ain't free. And that includes knowledge and experience.
Otherwise, you would need to be paying this f*cking school for your childs education in the cock-sucking f*cking first place!
 
2022-01-19 2:26:25 AM  
Goodfellas - Fuck you pay me
Youtube 8L4HHPTiZN8
 
2022-01-19 2:32:53 AM  
the admin said, "The speech will provide you with great exposure

People die from exposure!
 
2022-01-19 2:46:38 AM  
As a professional scientist, I've given many dozens of talks at schools and even did extensive guest lecturing at a few universities. Never paid, not once. I wouldn't even possibly consider asking --- it just isn't done.

There are circumstances where I've tried to get a special speaker for an event. In such cases, sometimes you offer an honorarium. If you are flying someone in from out of the area, you pay for lodging and meals but that's often the extent of it (maybe an honorarium or they get some sort of gift).

Say no if you don't want to do it. Don't ask for money.
 
2022-01-19 3:15:49 AM  

Dasher McHappenstance: They're called boundaries, set some.


My therapist likes to say "'No' is a complete sentence."
 
2022-01-19 3:23:50 AM  

wademh: As a professional scientist, I've given many dozens of talks at schools and even did extensive guest lecturing at a few universities. Never paid, not once. I wouldn't even possibly consider asking --- it just isn't done.

There are circumstances where I've tried to get a special speaker for an event. In such cases, sometimes you offer an honorarium. If you are flying someone in from out of the area, you pay for lodging and meals but that's often the extent of it (maybe an honorarium or they get some sort of gift).

Say no if you don't want to do it. Don't ask for money.


Must be nice to have grants...
You give those lectures in order to encourage sponsors interest in your research. Thereby furthering your grants and resources.

You weren't speaking for free.
 
2022-01-19 3:43:41 AM  

Redh8t: wademh: As a professional scientist, I've given many dozens of talks at schools and even did extensive guest lecturing at a few universities. Never paid, not once. I wouldn't even possibly consider asking --- it just isn't done.

There are circumstances where I've tried to get a special speaker for an event. In such cases, sometimes you offer an honorarium. If you are flying someone in from out of the area, you pay for lodging and meals but that's often the extent of it (maybe an honorarium or they get some sort of gift).

Say no if you don't want to do it. Don't ask for money.

Must be nice to have grants...
You give those lectures in order to encourage sponsors interest in your research. Thereby furthering your grants and resources.

You weren't speaking for free.


No, I wasn't fishing for grants. Students at university don't fund grants. High school students in a biology or chemistry class don't give out grants. And I didn't even write many grants. I was a salaried scientist (or retired) when doing most of that. It isn't even the sort of thing you put on your CV (at least I never did). And having hired many scientists in my career, I can't recall ever seeing someone list "spoke at the local school's career day" on anyone's CV. The one graduate course I taught most of for free was when I was in a job where being an ambassador of sorts for my area of science was a reasonable use of my time but it was really up to me and had to be done on top of my other work. But I like promoting science.

There are other things scientists often do for free. It's considered part of being a professional. You get asked to referee papers that people submit to a journal for publication (if it aligns with some of your specialties and the journal editor knows you). That can easily take 10-20 hours --- no pay.

Ultimately, it's a good citizenship thing. You give back if you're fortunate enough to be in a position to do so.
 
2022-01-19 3:50:24 AM  
If it's something I feel strongly about, I can gab for hours, freely and without notes.  Consequences be damned.

But, if I have to be concerned about putting a particular face on a subject, to try and influence an audience, I'll either be compensated somehow or it won't occur.

I regularly talk to others, sometimes as a confidential one on one event.  Sometimes, it's a small support group or class.  A few times it's a lecture type setting.  If it's about my personal experiences, it's usual I get fed and maybe a gift card for gas to get there.

If it's an in-depth look at a topic that calls on expertise, such as navigating a particular bureaucracy to obtain permission or financial compensation, oh hell yes, I'm getting paid.

Sounds like the school is looking for a superficial, feel good, politically correct decoration.  It's interesting that they approached the black parent for this, when the white parent's thoughts could be just as instructive.  They might even be more palatable to an audience expecting a hectoring lecture from a stereotypical guest speaker on a politically sensitive topic.

Tl,dr. Nope, nothing in life is free.
 
2022-01-19 4:38:25 AM  

wademh: Redh8t: wademh: As a professional scientist, I've given many dozens of talks at schools and even did extensive guest lecturing at a few universities. Never paid, not once. I wouldn't even possibly consider asking --- it just isn't done.

There are circumstances where I've tried to get a special speaker for an event. In such cases, sometimes you offer an honorarium. If you are flying someone in from out of the area, you pay for lodging and meals but that's often the extent of it (maybe an honorarium or they get some sort of gift).

Say no if you don't want to do it. Don't ask for money.

Must be nice to have grants...
You give those lectures in order to encourage sponsors interest in your research. Thereby furthering your grants and resources.

You weren't speaking for free.

No, I wasn't fishing for grants. Students at university don't fund grants. High school students in a biology or chemistry class don't give out grants. And I didn't even write many grants. I was a salaried scientist (or retired) when doing most of that. It isn't even the sort of thing you put on your CV (at least I never did). And having hired many scientists in my career, I can't recall ever seeing someone list "spoke at the local school's career day" on anyone's CV. The one graduate course I taught most of for free was when I was in a job where being an ambassador of sorts for my area of science was a reasonable use of my time but it was really up to me and had to be done on top of my other work. But I like promoting science.

There are other things scientists often do for free. It's considered part of being a professional. You get asked to referee papers that people submit to a journal for publication (if it aligns with some of your specialties and the journal editor knows you). That can easily take 10-20 hours --- no pay.

Ultimately, it's a good citizenship thing. You give back if you're fortunate enough to be in a position to do so.


I respect your insightful opinions on Fark immensely, wademh.
And I apologize for blatantly accusing you of just fishing for grant money.
Obviously you've been more than willing to share your knowledge amongst many threads without compensation.

You're good people, and I'm sorry for even suggesting otherwise.
 
2022-01-19 5:07:23 AM  
Call up the state ag and ask them to have a talk with the school about why white speakers get paid but a black speaker is expected to work for free
 
2022-01-19 5:14:51 AM  

wademh: As a professional scientist, I've given many dozens of talks at schools and even did extensive guest lecturing at a few universities. Never paid, not once. I wouldn't even possibly consider asking --- it just isn't done.

There are circumstances where I've tried to get a special speaker for an event. In such cases, sometimes you offer an honorarium. If you are flying someone in from out of the area, you pay for lodging and meals but that's often the extent of it (maybe an honorarium or they get some sort of gift).

Say no if you don't want to do it. Don't ask for money.


This. This woman is basically being asked to do a glorified equivalent of a show and tell here.  If someone's offering an honorarium that's one thing, but to try and impose a speaking fee in this case is asinine.  The only factor that leans in her favor is that this is a private school, one which ostensibly would have the money if it, as its typical practice, paid speakers an appearance fee.

I've given talks at my kids public schools.  It never occurred to me to ask for compensation, because I'm not (or at least don't perceive myself to be) an asshole.  If you don't want to do it free?  Say no and get on with your life.
 
2022-01-19 5:16:56 AM  
She says so herself, she's not experienced in public speaking, so she's obviously not some expert in her field who gets paid for giving talks, and even if she was, it's her son's school for christ sake. It would be like expecting compensation to come in and talk to his class on career day.

As a parent your expected to take part in a lot of school related activities that you don't necessarily want to do, but you do them because it helps your kids and their school. She has the opportunity to improve racial issues at her son's school, yet she's refusing to do so over a few bucks, good lesson to teach your kid there lady.
 
2022-01-19 5:44:03 AM  
Do as whitey says. Don't be uppity.
Alternatively, give them what they asked for, but didn't really want. Lean right into it. That should be, y'know, enlightening.
 
2022-01-19 5:44:42 AM  
Oh, FFS, it's your child's school. Do a short talk, some Q&A, try to share your experience and educate the little honkies in a way it would seem the faculty is unable to.

It's no different than parents coming in for a career day talk, running a bake sale, or volunteering to be a field trip escort.
 
2022-01-19 5:50:36 AM  

ReapTheChaos: She says so herself, she's not experienced in public speaking, so she's obviously not some expert in her field who gets paid for giving talks, and even if she was, it's her son's school for christ sake. It would be like expecting compensation to come in and talk to his class on career day.

As a parent your expected to take part in a lot of school related activities that you don't necessarily want to do, but you do them because it helps your kids and their school. She has the opportunity to improve racial issues at her son's school, yet she's refusing to do so over a few bucks, good lesson to teach your kid there lady.


I was with you right up until the point we find out the school pays other speakers and doesn't want to pay her.

That put me firmly in the "fark you. Pay me." camp. Especially once the school wanted to trade in exposure.

It's not black people's (unpaid) job to teach white people about how they are being racists.
 
2022-01-19 5:57:09 AM  
"The speech will provide you with great exposure since it will be broadcast virtually to influential parents and boosters."

Exposure AND a Zoom meeting?!?  How can I invest?
 
2022-01-19 6:00:45 AM  

I Ate Shergar: the admin said, "The speech will provide you with great exposure

People die from exposure!


Came here to say exactly this. You don't expect a doctor or an accountant or a CEO or an architect to work free of charge. It's always the nurse, the teacher, the artist or the musician. Let the school teach your kid for free in exchange for exposure and a good Yelp review.
 
2022-01-19 6:01:49 AM  

spiralscratch: Oh, FFS, it's your child's school. Do a short talk, some Q&A, try to share your experience and educate the little honkies in a way it would seem the faculty is unable to.

It's no different than parents coming in for a career day talk, running a bake sale, or volunteering to be a field trip escort.


You missed the part where everyone else is getting paid. Only the Black woman's contribution is considered worthless.
 
2022-01-19 6:05:35 AM  
Typical.  Asking a black woman to do the work for free.  farking hell white people, do better.

If you value her time and perspective, pay her.
 
2022-01-19 6:06:07 AM  
"I'de love to, but I can't afford to take time off work for a unpaid gig, here are a list of some professional speakers who would be great for the students/school"
 
2022-01-19 6:15:08 AM  
If you can't give money, private schools will demand you give your time.

And many of the parents already spent all their money on tuition.
 
2022-01-19 6:27:57 AM  
You stand up to them and tell them it's $20, same as downtown.
 
2022-01-19 6:41:58 AM  

anuran: spiralscratch: Oh, FFS, it's your child's school. Do a short talk, some Q&A, try to share your experience and educate the little honkies in a way it would seem the faculty is unable to.

It's no different than parents coming in for a career day talk, running a bake sale, or volunteering to be a field trip escort.

You missed the part where everyone else is getting paid. Only the Black woman's contribution is considered worthless.


I missed the part where other PARENTS are getting paid.

Because that's a real specific word choice. That the school has previously hired professional speakers for events does not mean the school has paid other parents for comparable volunteer requests.
 
2022-01-19 6:48:35 AM  
There is no level of wealth or privilege at which one should be denied any and all school assistance.

To do so is to be a fark you I've got mine piece of human garbage shiat. There are two types of people and like such as.

That's probably the number one message on fark from 2021 after wearing masks when going to the gym or restaurants.
 
2022-01-19 7:02:19 AM  
This seems offensive. "Oh, your skin color is the main point here. Would you mind enlightening everyone about it?"

I can imagine a tactful way of trying to do this, such as sending out a general call/letter to parents inviting any parent of color or with relevant experience to share their point of view with the student body.
 
2022-01-19 7:03:13 AM  

evilmrsock: anuran: spiralscratch: Oh, FFS, it's your child's school. Do a short talk, some Q&A, try to share your experience and educate the little honkies in a way it would seem the faculty is unable to.

It's no different than parents coming in for a career day talk, running a bake sale, or volunteering to be a field trip escort.

You missed the part where everyone else is getting paid. Only the Black woman's contribution is considered worthless.

I missed the part where other PARENTS are getting paid.

Because that's a real specific word choice. That the school has previously hired professional speakers for events does not mean the school has paid other parents for comparable volunteer requests.


It isn't clear that the speakers they paid are parents. The article only says other speakers. There are those that make a living through public speaking, your motivational speakers for instance. They don't work for free or "exposure". But a parent at their kid's school is different. Now if they wanted her to speak in 10 different classrooms, that becomes different. If it's once at an assembly, well let's hear from any parents who have been paid by their kid's school for that.
 
2022-01-19 7:04:22 AM  
School ever consider a white speaker in the name of diversity?

This ol cracker could probably best most b.s. degree holders in a.a. history.

Only because I studied it.

For 58 years.

And still do.


Currently running a genealogy project with my black relatives to trace all our relations.

Very intetesting history.
And we all end up closer for it.

But this whole, hey, you're black, care to talk about black history is lame.
And asking a certified expert to do it without compensation is crass.

Work for no pay is,... Uh... Slavery.
Or was that the point?
 
2022-01-19 7:14:04 AM  

evilmrsock: anuran: spiralscratch: Oh, FFS, it's your child's school. Do a short talk, some Q&A, try to share your experience and educate the little honkies in a way it would seem the faculty is unable to.

It's no different than parents coming in for a career day talk, running a bake sale, or volunteering to be a field trip escort.

You missed the part where everyone else is getting paid. Only the Black woman's contribution is considered worthless.

I missed the part where other PARENTS are getting paid.

Because that's a real specific word choice. That the school has previously hired professional speakers for events does not mean the school has paid other parents for comparable volunteer requests.


Right, I don't think we're getting the whole picture here -

The writer does not cite any expertise in the subject area, nor experience in public speaking (which in itself could be an issue - "Oh, you're black, aren't you? Would you mind showing up so we can claim we have a diverse community?")

The speakers who have been paid are identified as white, but not as parents or experts. That information is kind of key in this case - the school might routinely seek out parents to speak on various subjects knowing that many of them will agree without expectation of payment, whether experts or not.  When the school cannot find a parent, they may turn to people with expertise, in which case they may offer payment to get them (though I'd bet they still try to get them there for free if they can figure out an angle).  Now certainly, if the normal situation is to pay every speaker, then this speaker should be no exception, but I'm not sure that's the case.

One other thing to note - many private schools are geared toward rich folks, so they work to put on an appearance of being "flush with cash", but they operate on a very tight budget - think about the upper middle class family that is in deep debt with no savings because they don't want their neighbors to see them driving the base model Lexus - it's a lot about image, and the school might not have the means to offer more than a pittance.
 
2022-01-19 7:21:18 AM  

cryptozoophiliac: This seems offensive. "Oh, your skin color is the main point here. Would you mind enlightening everyone about it?"

I can imagine a tactful way of trying to do this, such as sending out a general call/letter to parents inviting any parent of color or with relevant experience to share their point of view with the student body.


"Hi. We have a problem at our school. While we value diversity and think it's important that our students gain an understanding of diversity, we are forced to admit it doesn't happen organically given our current student body. So we are looking for ways to help at least begin to expose our students to perspectives that they simply may not be encountering in their daily lives. We wanted to seek your help with this because we think you might have a valuable perspective. In the first place, we'd like to know if you have any of your own suggestions on some steps you think we might take, and please don't feel put on the spot, you don't expect you to hand us a comprehensive list off the cuff. Instead, we want to leave this as an open invitation for you to send us ideas and suggestions. But in the meantime, we have a more specific request. We're looking for parents that might be able to come in and speak to our students to share some of their perspectives on the challenges, needs, and rewards of diversity. Are these things you might be interested in?"

\ I hate the naked term "diversity". It pretends to mean more than a word can realistically be burdened with.
\\ So I would probably work up to a definition of diversity that includes an open-mindedness that helps people learn to appreciate and perhaps even come to understand the perspectives of people with different backgrounds and interests than their own.
 
2022-01-19 7:25:34 AM  

vudukungfu: School ever consider a white speaker in the name of diversity?

This ol cracker could probably best most b.s. degree holders in a.a. history.

Only because I studied it.

For 58 years.

And still do.


Currently running a genealogy project with my black relatives to trace all our relations.

Very intetesting history.
And we all end up closer for it.

But this whole, hey, you're black, care to talk about black history is lame.
And asking a certified expert to do it without compensation is crass.

Work for no pay is,... Uh... Slavery.
Or was that the point?


I would challenge you that there's an angle here that isn't about a.a. history, or an academic look at the perspectives of a.a. Rather, it's more of an exposure thing to an authentic individual as part of the on-ramp to having empathy for people who might not be like you. In many ways, you don't want a polished speaker but just somebody who can tell you a human story, but a human story that is unfamiliar to you in important ways.
 
2022-01-19 7:40:31 AM  

wademh: cryptozoophiliac: This seems offensive. "Oh, your skin color is the main point here. Would you mind enlightening everyone about it?"

I can imagine a tactful way of trying to do this, such as sending out a general call/letter to parents inviting any parent of color or with relevant experience to share their point of view with the student body.

"Hi. We have a problem at our school. While we value diversity and think it's important that our students gain an understanding of diversity, we are forced to admit it doesn't happen organically given our current student body. So we are looking for ways to help at least begin to expose our students to perspectives that they simply may not be encountering in their daily lives. We wanted to seek your help with this because we think you might have a valuable perspective. In the first place, we'd like to know if you have any of your own suggestions on some steps you think we might take, and please don't feel put on the spot, you don't expect you to hand us a comprehensive list off the cuff. Instead, we want to leave this as an open invitation for you to send us ideas and suggestions. But in the meantime, we have a more specific request. We're looking for parents that might be able to come in and speak to our students to share some of their perspectives on the challenges, needs, and rewards of diversity. Are these things you might be interested in?"

\ I hate the naked term "diversity". It pretends to mean more than a word can realistically be burdened with.
\\ So I would probably work up to a definition of diversity that includes an open-mindedness that helps people learn to appreciate and perhaps even come to understand the perspectives of people with different backgrounds and interests than their own.


As annoying as it is, that's kind of what I had in mind. Trust your audience enough to have faith that your good intentions will be clear, but avoid sounding like you are providing "white-wash" for ongoing issues or past failings.

/Glad I don't have to make these decisions.
 
2022-01-19 7:42:11 AM  

mactheknife: wademh: As a professional scientist, I've given many dozens of talks at schools and even did extensive guest lecturing at a few universities. Never paid, not once. I wouldn't even possibly consider asking --- it just isn't done.

There are circumstances where I've tried to get a special speaker for an event. In such cases, sometimes you offer an honorarium. If you are flying someone in from out of the area, you pay for lodging and meals but that's often the extent of it (maybe an honorarium or they get some sort of gift).

Say no if you don't want to do it. Don't ask for money.

This. This woman is basically being asked to do a glorified equivalent of a show and tell here.  If someone's offering an honorarium that's one thing, but to try and impose a speaking fee in this case is asinine.  The only factor that leans in her favor is that this is a private school, one which ostensibly would have the money if it, as its typical practice, paid speakers an appearance fee.

I've given talks at my kids public schools.  It never occurred to me to ask for compensation, because I'm not (or at least don't perceive myself to be) an asshole.  If you don't want to do it free?  Say no and get on with your life.


While I see your point, I feel like asking a Black woman to stand in front of an 85% White student body and talking  "about the importance of creating a racially inclusive community." Is a little different. The LW is not an experienced public speaker, and has been singled out because she's Black to give this talk to these kids. This is likely a very personal topic for her.

You couldn't pay me enough to give a talk on a topic fraught with so many potential landmines to school kids. You'd think inclusiveness would be a no-brainer... it's not. There will be at least a handful of 'CRT ate my baby!' types that will make any talk from a parent on this topic a problem. If I were LW, I'd decline the invitation and advise the school to get a professional speaker (and to pay them appropriately), because the wrong wording or slipping off message slightly (which happens all the time, especially if Q&A will be a part of it) will definitely cause issues with some of the parents and remove focus from the messaging they're trying to convey and onto an offhand remark.
 
2022-01-19 7:55:47 AM  
The sheer audacity of that school to ask a Black parent to share her expertise on being Black to help its predominately white community "see the light" during Black History Month without payment makes me roll my eyes so hard that I can see out of my own rear end.

That's how you end up with a shitty outlook on life.
 
2022-01-19 7:57:54 AM  
I was ready to be upset at this woman before I read the article. This isn't some classroom presentation at a public school. This is a major presentation they expect her to make before the other parents and major donors at a private school flush with cash that has paid other people for similar talks before.

That's a different animal from the talks to the students I'm sure a lot of farkers have done.
 
2022-01-19 7:58:01 AM  

I Ate Shergar: the admin said, "The speech will provide you with great exposure

People die from exposure!


Some people get arrested for exposure.

/I should know
// (._. )
 
2022-01-19 8:04:07 AM  
Find out how much the private school is actually paying the teachers who instruct your child every day.

Spend a period of time reflecting on what that means about how they -- and you -- truly value the work they do.

Then think about what you (and the other parents like you) are actually paying for your child to attend a private school. Don't even worry about your reasons for sending them there, just think about the pure, raw dollars.

Then do some quick calculations to figure out what sort of salaries all that tuition money actually could support for the teachers.

Then go fark yourself.
 
2022-01-19 8:28:46 AM  

wademh: vudukungfu: School ever consider a white speaker in the name of diversity?

This ol cracker could probably best most b.s. degree holders in a.a. history.

Only because I studied it.

For 58 years.

And still do.


Currently running a genealogy project with my black relatives to trace all our relations.

Very intetesting history.
And we all end up closer for it.

But this whole, hey, you're black, care to talk about black history is lame.
And asking a certified expert to do it without compensation is crass.

Work for no pay is,... Uh... Slavery.
Or was that the point?

I would challenge you that there's an angle here that isn't about a.a. history, or an academic look at the perspectives of a.a. Rather, it's more of an exposure thing to an authentic individual as part of the on-ramp to having empathy for people who might not be like you. In many ways, you don't want a polished speaker but just somebody who can tell you a human story, but a human story that is unfamiliar to you in important ways.


good point
 
2022-01-19 8:29:53 AM  
Oh, sure, but when I volunteer to speak at schools they tell me "Sir, the police have been called."
 
2022-01-19 8:30:48 AM  
I have heard some private schools try to squeeze all the unpaid labor from parents they can. So you pay $15k or more to send your kid there and they have clauses where parents have to donate X amount of time there.
 
2022-01-19 8:37:15 AM  
I didn't notice any particular "expertise" that this woman has other than just being black.  She doesn't have any kind of degree in racial studies or socioeconomic issues or anything else that might be relevant, so I'm not sure why she thinks they should pay her based on "expertise".  She should still be compensated for her time.  The  bullshiat line about great exposure is something that artists get fed all the time.  Well, it would be great exposure for you school if minorities when there for free, so if they're willing to do that, then sure, speak fro free.  Otherwise either ask to be paid or don't give a speech.  It's your decision.
 
2022-01-19 8:40:07 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-19 8:46:55 AM  
Wow, white privilege coming from a black woman.

If my son's school asked me to give a demo on physics/science/math, I would for free.  Because I love science, am qualified to talk about physics and math, and love to promote it.

She should do this because she wants to, and it is the right thing to do, not for profit.
 
2022-01-19 8:48:57 AM  
"The speech will provide you with great exposure since it will be broadcast virtually to influential parents and boosters. Also, your speech could help numerous parents see the light, and you can't put a price tag on that."


was going to say just do it, but coming out with that shiat is a big 'pay me or fark off'.  although she doesn't say what she might be an expert at, but saying that just about admits that if they wanted someone from outside the school to come in they'd have to pay them a bunch

also, 'influential parents and boosters' at a private school sound like the kind of people who don't want to hear that they might be wrong about something, so there is no way it'll lead anywhere except maybe the kid getting farked with
 
2022-01-19 8:56:44 AM  

abhorrent1: [Fark user image image 557x557]


Not all exposure is equal, but exposure is no different from advertising. Some people pay tons of money for it and get even more money back.

/and then like tfa  sometimes you only reach a tiny number of people who will never give you money
 
2022-01-19 9:05:18 AM  
I get that there are factors at play that make this story more complex, but as a parent who has put in hundreds upon hundreds of hours volunteering at my kids' schools over the years, and who has seen other parents not lift a finger to help, but who show up and marvel at how amazing certain events or productions are, only to leave while those of us who give up our free time continue to work to tear it all down and prepare to do it again, the idea of anyone's expecting to be paid for their time to do something for their kid's school just rubs me the wrong way.  If this person is uncomfortable with the ask, just say no.  But maybe find another way to contribute.  Private school or public school, it doesn't all happen without some hard work from parent-volunteers.
 
2022-01-19 9:07:53 AM  
Khrestyn:
... asking a Black woman to stand in front of an 85% White student body and talking  "about the importance of creating a racially inclusive community." Is a little different. The LW is not an experienced public speaker, and has been singled out because she's Black to give this talk to these kids. This is likely a very personal topic for her.

You couldn't pay me enough to give a talk on a topic fraught with so many potential landmines to school kids. You'd think inclusiveness would be a no-brainer... it's not. There will be at least a handful of 'CRT ate my baby!' types that will make any talk from a parent on this topic a problem. If I were LW, I'd decline the invitation and advise the school to get a professional speaker ...



not that anyone on slate will see the answers here, but this seems like the way to go.
this lady is not an experienced speaker, its not her job, the whole thing likely smells like a trap. tell the school to pay a professional.
 
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