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(Worldcrunch)   Do you have an asshat neighbor with a too-loud toilet? You may be able to contact the U.N. and get him prosecuted for violating your human rights   (worldcrunch.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Techno, Electronic music, World War II, Toilet, Supreme court, Kraftwerk, Karlheinz Stockhausen, La Spezia  
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2505 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2022 at 8:33 PM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



46 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-01-18 6:06:00 PM  
In my house it's not the toilet that's the problem, it's what happens ON the toilet that's the problem.
 
2022-01-18 7:15:09 PM  
Ah, the UN, For when you absolutely need a Strongly Worded Letter, accept no substitutes
 
2022-01-18 8:37:38 PM  
Is a relative of Al Bundy their neighbor?

Married with children that's a man's flush
Youtube jHQWPI8JNxk
 
2022-01-18 8:41:11 PM  

Lsherm: In my house it's not the toilet that's the problem, it's what happens ON the toilet that's the problem.


do you have an onlyfans site?
 
2022-01-18 8:41:24 PM  
How was the United Nations involved? It only went as far as the Court of Cassation, an Italian court, and that court invoked the European Convention on Human Rights, which is not a UN organization.
 
2022-01-18 8:43:25 PM  

Lsherm: In my house it's not the toilet that's the problem, it's what happens ON the toilet that's the problem.


You gotta lift the lid, man.
 
2022-01-18 8:48:00 PM  
Problem solved.

external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-18 8:49:30 PM  
I WISH my neighbors would trade their new trendy city roosters for a loud toilet.  Or that their house would burn down with them in it; either one.
 
2022-01-18 8:51:14 PM  
Reminds me of that old confucian fable.

They sue you for enjoying the scene of their cooking, you can pay them back with the sound of your money.
 
2022-01-18 8:51:19 PM  
Heh. My condo has a living room wall adjacent to my neighbor's bathroom, which normally isn't a problem, but for whatever the reason every few weeks the guy is loudly sick in there in the morning at a volume I can hear. Don't think I'd take him to court over it, but occasionally entertain the idea of pounding on the wall when he's mid-puke and seeing where it leads.
 
2022-01-18 8:51:46 PM  
What if your neighbor is a a too-loud toilet? Does that qualify you for refugee status?
 
2022-01-18 8:53:24 PM  

Mock26: How was the United Nations involved? It only went as far as the Court of Cassation, an Italian court, and that court invoked the European Convention on Human Rights, which is not a UN organization.


So, you admit that they were UNinvolved.
 
2022-01-18 8:56:10 PM  
I guess that at least two of the four brothers needed a very powerful toilet
to shuttle back and forth between their town and the Princess' castle.
 
2022-01-18 8:56:42 PM  

Mock26: How was the United Nations involved? It only went as far as the Court of Cassation, an Italian court, and that court invoked the European Convention on Human Rights, which is not a UN organization.


Subby is just an idiot.
 
2022-01-18 8:57:05 PM  
Has this ever happened to you?

c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-18 8:58:25 PM  
Having to use my freshman dorm's bathroom on a Sunday morning.... that was a violation of my human rights, what occurred in there.
 
2022-01-18 9:01:50 PM  

LoneVVolf: I WISH my neighbors would trade their new trendy city roosters for a loud toilet.  Or that their house would burn down with them in it; either one.


Read the bylaws that govern them.  In my neighborhood chickens must be kept in a coop that is 50' or more from the nearest structure.  Lots in my neighborhood are 50'x132'.  That makes it impossible to have chickens unless the lots on each side of yours are empty or the structures are only on the far half of each lot and yours is empty.  YMMV
 
2022-01-18 9:03:05 PM  

pastramithemosterotic: Having to use my freshman dorm's bathroom on a Sunday morning.... that was a violation of my human rights, what occurred in there.


I remember going to a bar after the big college rivalry football game. Two tickets in a large puddle of piss. From what I could guess on the section/row, that was $300 sitting in urine.
 
2022-01-18 9:03:32 PM  

Mock26: How was the United Nations involved? It only went as far as the Court of Cassation, an Italian court, and that court invoked the European Convention on Human Rights, which is not a UN organization.


They weren't, subby doesn't know the difference between the EU and the UN, which isn't surprising because he's American
 
2022-01-18 9:09:58 PM  
"The four brothers were required to change the WC flush location in the flat..."

I've lived many years in Europe and travelled extensively there.  However, this sentence makes no sense.  Are these four brothers able to flush their toilet from some remote location?  Does pushing the "flush" button from the hallway of their apartment somehow make the toilet itself quieter?  Maybe it was just a reeeeeally long chain that they had to pull?  I'm confused.

/I also am operating under the assumption that these four grown men living together sharing one bathroom were not really "brothers," IYKWIMAITYD.
 
2022-01-18 9:11:45 PM  
i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-18 9:14:19 PM  
Austin Powers bathroom
Youtube J-YVt4gfquA
 
2022-01-18 9:15:09 PM  

Miss_Dorothy_Kilgallen: "The four brothers were required to change the WC flush location in the flat..."

I've lived many years in Europe and travelled extensively there.  However, this sentence makes no sense.  Are these four brothers able to flush their toilet from some remote location?  Does pushing the "flush" button from the hallway of their apartment somehow make the toilet itself quieter?  Maybe it was just a reeeeeally long chain that they had to pull?  I'm confused.

/I also am operating under the assumption that these four grown men living together sharing one bathroom were not really "brothers," IYKWIMAITYD.


maybe they're conjoined.
 
2022-01-18 9:22:40 PM  

pastramithemosterotic: Having to use my freshman dorm's bathroom on a Sunday morning.... that was a violation of my human rights, what occurred in there.


Go on...
 
2022-01-18 9:27:27 PM  

AbuHashish: Problem solved.

[external-content.duckduckgo.com image 640x889]


You could say it has...
<puts on sunglasses>
Active Noise Dampening

//YEEEAAAAAAAHHHH
 
2022-01-18 9:35:45 PM  
Does that mean in Australia, they violate your lefts?
 
2022-01-18 9:38:03 PM  

ImpendingCynic: Does that mean in Australia, they violate your lefts?


Well, Hitler was a fascist.
 
2022-01-18 9:47:32 PM  

moothemagiccow: Mock26: How was the United Nations involved? It only went as far as the Court of Cassation, an Italian court, and that court invoked the European Convention on Human Rights, which is not a UN organization.

They weren't, subby doesn't know the difference between the EU and the UN, which isn't surprising because he's American


But I am an American...
 
2022-01-18 10:05:48 PM  

functionisalwaystaken: LoneVVolf: I WISH my neighbors would trade their new trendy city roosters for a loud toilet.  Or that their house would burn down with them in it; either one.

Read the bylaws that govern them.  In my neighborhood chickens must be kept in a coop that is 50' or more from the nearest structure.  Lots in my neighborhood are 50'x132'.  That makes it impossible to have chickens unless the lots on each side of yours are empty or the structures are only on the far half of each lot and yours is empty.  YMMV


Also, check for roosters specifically -- for example, our local township allows you to keep hens year-round in a coop in your back yard, but that explicitly excludes roosters. Those can only be in residential neighborhoods a couple of weeks out of the year, and ONE rooster max per property at that.

/If you think roosters are annoying, then be glad you don't have any peacocks around. A dozen roosters are less loud than one of those farkers.
 
2022-01-18 10:23:53 PM  

Excelsior: /If you think roosters are annoying, then be glad you don't have any peacocks around. A dozen roosters are less loud than one of those farkers.


Holy shiat this - I stayed one night at a property that had peacocks and peahens freely roaming around.  Evidently it was mating season, and those farkers **scream**.  I woke up thinking a child was being butchered outside my window.
 
2022-01-18 10:30:36 PM  

ScottRiqui: Excelsior: /If you think roosters are annoying, then be glad you don't have any peacocks around. A dozen roosters are less loud than one of those farkers.

Holy shiat this - I stayed one night at a property that had peacocks and peahens freely roaming around.  Evidently it was mating season, and those farkers **scream**.  I woke up thinking a child was being butchered outside my window.


When I was growing up, our neighbors had peacocks that would routinely escape their property, roost in our tress, and scream constantly.

And that's how I learned to shoot a pellet rifle at an early age.
 
2022-01-18 11:53:15 PM  

Telephone Sanitizer Second Class: ScottRiqui: Excelsior: /If you think roosters are annoying, then be glad you don't have any peacocks around. A dozen roosters are less loud than one of those farkers.

Holy shiat this - I stayed one night at a property that had peacocks and peahens freely roaming around.  Evidently it was mating season, and those farkers **scream**.  I woke up thinking a child was being butchered outside my window.

When I was growing up, our neighbors had peacocks that would routinely escape their property, roost in our tress, and scream constantly.

And that's how I learned to shoot a pellet rifle at an early age.


Hopefully targeting the humans. Not the peafowl's fault.
 
2022-01-19 1:46:12 AM  

moothemagiccow: Mock26: How was the United Nations involved? It only went as far as the Court of Cassation, an Italian court, and that court invoked the European Convention on Human Rights, which is not a UN organization.

They weren't, subby doesn't know the difference between the EU and the UN, which isn't surprising because he's American


Neither do you, apparently. The European Convention on Human Rights has nothing to do with the EU. It it is a key document of the Council of Europe, a much broader organisation (both Russia and the UK are, for now, members, for example). Admittedly, it's confusing though. If you go to Strasbourg, the European Court of Human Rights (which reviews cases like this), the Council of Europe, and the European Parliament building are all in the same general area and visible from each other.

The workings of the ECHR are generally poorly understood, which is a shame as it's an excellent forum for upholding human rights. Toilet flushes are one thing; the "right to hope" is another.
 
2022-01-19 2:52:01 AM  

functionisalwaystaken: LoneVVolf: I WISH my neighbors would trade their new trendy city roosters for a loud toilet.  Or that their house would burn down with them in it; either one.

Read the bylaws that govern them.  In my neighborhood chickens must be kept in a coop that is 50' or more from the nearest structure.  Lots in my neighborhood are 50'x132'.  That makes it impossible to have chickens unless the lots on each side of yours are empty or the structures are only on the far half of each lot and yours is empty.  YMMV


YMMV?
 
2022-01-19 6:34:26 AM  
What can you do about the freeway some asshole built next door?

'Suck it' is the correct answer.
 
2022-01-19 6:59:46 AM  

AbuHashish: Problem solved.

[external-content.duckduckgo.com image 640x889]


That's a perfect comparison  because while my Bose headphones felt comfortable when I first sat down and listened to them they eventually turned to shiat.

I don't really like any headphone I've bought this whole century I think. I did like he Bose for a while, but they're too expensive, too big and require you to charge the battery even though it's not even wireless. And they wore out too quickly.
 
2022-01-19 8:15:41 AM  

moothemagiccow: subby doesn't know the difference between the EU and the UN


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-19 9:34:06 AM  

danielscissorhands: functionisalwaystaken: LoneVVolf: I WISH my neighbors would trade their new trendy city roosters for a loud toilet.  Or that their house would burn down with them in it; either one.

Read the bylaws that govern them.  In my neighborhood chickens must be kept in a coop that is 50' or more from the nearest structure.  Lots in my neighborhood are 50'x132'.  That makes it impossible to have chickens unless the lots on each side of yours are empty or the structures are only on the far half of each lot and yours is empty.  YMMV

YMMV?


"Your Mileage May Vary" - in other words, local statutes and neighborhood bylaws differ from place to place, so LoneVVolf's situation might be different than functionisalwaystaken's.
 
2022-01-19 2:36:08 PM  

El_Dan: Heh. My condo has a living room wall adjacent to my neighbor's bathroom, which normally isn't a problem, but for whatever the reason every few weeks the guy is loudly sick in there in the morning at a volume I can hear. Don't think I'd take him to court over it, but occasionally entertain the idea of pounding on the wall when he's mid-puke and seeing where it leads.


Sounds like the dude is already plenty miserable without wall pounding
 
2022-01-19 2:40:01 PM  

El_Dan: Heh. My condo has a living room wall adjacent to my neighbor's bathroom, which normally isn't a problem, but for whatever the reason every few weeks the guy is loudly sick in there in the morning at a volume I can hear. Don't think I'd take him to court over it, but occasionally entertain the idea of pounding on the wall when he's mid-puke and seeing where it leads.


Sounds like chemo or some sort of medical treatment.
 
2022-01-19 2:53:14 PM  

dyhchong: El_Dan: Heh. My condo has a living room wall adjacent to my neighbor's bathroom, which normally isn't a problem, but for whatever the reason every few weeks the guy is loudly sick in there in the morning at a volume I can hear. Don't think I'd take him to court over it, but occasionally entertain the idea of pounding on the wall when he's mid-puke and seeing where it leads.

Sounds like chemo or some sort of medical treatment.


Or he goes on an occasional bender, who knows
 
2022-01-19 3:19:37 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: dyhchong: El_Dan: Heh. My condo has a living room wall adjacent to my neighbor's bathroom, which normally isn't a problem, but for whatever the reason every few weeks the guy is loudly sick in there in the morning at a volume I can hear. Don't think I'd take him to court over it, but occasionally entertain the idea of pounding on the wall when he's mid-puke and seeing where it leads.

Sounds like chemo or some sort of medical treatment.

Or he goes on an occasional bender, who knows


I suspect chemo or something, hence the lack of wall pounding to date.
 
2022-01-19 4:20:30 PM  

pastramithemosterotic: Having to use my freshman dorm's bathroom on a Sunday morning.... that was a violation of my human rights, what occurred in there.


What boggled my mind... they had a cleaning crew come in 5 days a week to clean the bathrooms, Monday through Friday, and then they left them that way over the weekends.  By Monday morning they were caked in puke and pee.  I tried to teach everyone to always put the toilet seat in the up position whenever they finished so that the drunks would at least miss the seat.  I also occasionally took a big dump Friday night and didn't poop again until Monday morning.
 
2022-01-19 10:10:21 PM  
Yet another reason that I refuse to share a wall. I'll live in a house until the day I die, and that was just conformed about 3 years ago when we tried a townhome for the first time since 2000 or so.
 
2022-01-20 1:15:04 AM  

dyhchong: El_Dan: Heh. My condo has a living room wall adjacent to my neighbor's bathroom, which normally isn't a problem, but for whatever the reason every few weeks the guy is loudly sick in there in the morning at a volume I can hear. Don't think I'd take him to court over it, but occasionally entertain the idea of pounding on the wall when he's mid-puke and seeing where it leads.

Sounds like chemo or some sort of medical treatment.


Or he just graduated from "social drinker" to "hard-core alcoholic".
 
2022-01-20 1:25:00 AM  

Excelsior: dyhchong: El_Dan: Heh. My condo has a living room wall adjacent to my neighbor's bathroom, which normally isn't a problem, but for whatever the reason every few weeks the guy is loudly sick in there in the morning at a volume I can hear. Don't think I'd take him to court over it, but occasionally entertain the idea of pounding on the wall when he's mid-puke and seeing where it leads.

Sounds like chemo or some sort of medical treatment.

Or he just graduated from "social drinker" to "hard-core alcoholic".


Worst alcoholic ever. Any alcoholic worth his salt drinks every few days.
 
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