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(Twitter)   Apocalyptic Hellscapes is my new vegan death metal band name   (twitter.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, shot  
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3525 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jan 2022 at 4:35 PM (17 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2022-01-18 3:13:11 PM  
Original Tweet:

 
2022-01-18 3:50:17 PM  
I wonder how John feels about having spent his youth working for one of the most liberal minded media companies in Canada that gave him the freedom to say and do whatever he wanted while on the air to now be reduced to constantly shovelling bullshiat for FOX News day in and day out.
 
2022-01-18 4:13:24 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-18 4:24:48 PM  
My ignorant ass-father called and wanted to know "how are we surviving in Portland?? Isn't everything on fire???" I'm all "Well I was just downtown, but I made it out, barely. But I'm safe...for now!"
 
2022-01-18 4:36:28 PM  
Can we take them off the area for such blatant lying?
 
2022-01-18 4:36:42 PM  
Air not area
 
2022-01-18 4:38:18 PM  
C'mon people! Context!
 
2022-01-18 4:38:44 PM  
Here in Indianapolis there have been warnings that this city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Like Old Testament, real wrath of God type stuff.

Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
The dead rising from the grave!
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... MASS HYSTERIA!
 
2022-01-18 4:39:28 PM  

Combustion: My ignorant ass-father called and wanted to know "how are we surviving in Portland?? Isn't everything on fire???" I'm all "Well I was just downtown, but I made it out, barely. But I'm safe...for now!"


You have good hobbies.
 
2022-01-18 4:40:13 PM  
Now that would be a great HGTV show.
"Apocalyptic-Hellscapes"
 
2022-01-18 4:40:30 PM  
I was just in a couple small cities.   They were fine.  Smelled like soybeans and corn, but otherwise fine.
 
2022-01-18 4:40:42 PM  

LawPD: I wonder how John feels about having spent his youth working for one of the most liberal minded media companies in Canada that gave him the freedom to say and do whatever he wanted while on the air to now be reduced to constantly shovelling bullshiat for FOX News day in and day out.


Probably pretty great when the checks clear
 
2022-01-18 4:41:34 PM  
This is so farking tired.

Dipshiat right wingers every other week: The cities are an apocaplyptic hellscape! Everyone there is robbed and dies every day. You can't go to Circle K without getting shot!

2022 Reality: rural america is a meth/heroin zombieland of meth, heroin and little to no employment, shiatloads of abandoned, fatherless children, and and rife with crime from the petty to the felony because desperate hicks idolize Bonnie and Clyde and think Raising Arizona was a how-to guide on life.
 
2022-01-18 4:42:10 PM  

Darkmeer: I was just in a couple small cities.   They were fine.  Smelled like soybeans and corn, but otherwise fine.


I remember when Chicago was a "Sanctuary City" that would catch fire, fall over and then sink into Lake Michigan at any time... 

It was lovely that time of year. The leaves were pretty
 
2022-01-18 4:42:59 PM  
That's not even good English.

A hellscape could be a city or could expand to contain a city but it can't "take over" a city. I mean is the hellscape elected to office or now operating city services? It makes no sense.
 
2022-01-18 4:43:11 PM  
They're right. I had to drive through this on the way in to work today. I barely made it alive.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-18 4:46:29 PM  
What an apocalyptic hellscape might look like:

End of Days.
Youtube 5d9-NKJ5jSQ


My Cal neighborhood two summers ago after all the fires.
 
2022-01-18 4:47:37 PM  
Expecting Magnamious_J to show up and describe the hellscape of a city he doesn't live in, contradicting the testimony of people that live in those cities.
 
2022-01-18 4:47:51 PM  
The GOP - where fear and cowardice are the watchwords.
 
2022-01-18 4:49:22 PM  

XtremeLeeWyte: Here in Indianapolis there have been warnings that this city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Like Old Testament, real wrath of God type stuff.

Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
The dead rising from the grave!
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... MASS HYSTERIA!


Tell them about the Twinkie.
 
2022-01-18 4:49:25 PM  

The5thElement: They're right. I had to drive through this on the way in to work today. I barely made it alive.
[Fark user image 397x200] [View Full Size image _x_]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-18 4:50:42 PM  
I don't have much time to type this, because there's a trio of actual demons circling my house with whips and pitchforks.  The smell of sulfur is ove
 
2022-01-18 4:51:02 PM  

meat0918: Can we take them off the area for such blatant lying?


No.  They're an 'entertainment program' and can say whatever the fark they want to as long as it isn't libelous and someone's willing to pursue that
 
2022-01-18 4:51:10 PM  
We live, we die, we live again, I guess.
 
2022-01-18 4:51:11 PM  

meat0918: Air not area


No no, think big.
 
2022-01-18 4:51:54 PM  

Combustion: My ignorant ass-father called


BS. How do ass-fathers use the phone?
 
2022-01-18 4:52:07 PM  
What that hellscape looks like:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-18 4:52:56 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: meat0918: Can we take them off the area for such blatant lying?

No.  They're an 'entertainment program' and can say whatever the fark they want to as long as it isn't libelous and someone's willing to pursue that


Might be time to relitigate that whole no-reasonable-person-could-believe defense,
 
2022-01-18 4:53:27 PM  
Once again, I can't help but be kind of amazed at the naked contempt for their audience on display here.

You can practically hear the well-coifed producer in an Italian suit in the back room loudly exclaiming "Yes! That's the kind of fear that really plays with the sister-farkers in West Virginia! Shoot that shiat right into their lizard brains! Okay, now is there any way we can pretend Hillary Clinton is relevant again? The drunk uncles who haven't touched a boob since the 90's just can't get enough of her."
 
2022-01-18 4:54:32 PM  

TomDooley: What that hellscape looks like:
[Fark user image 850x523]


How did you get a photo of every rural township in Ohio? Are you a wizard?
 
2022-01-18 4:55:15 PM  

TypoFlyspray: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: meat0918: Can we take them off the area for such blatant lying?

No.  They're an 'entertainment program' and can say whatever the fark they want to as long as it isn't libelous and someone's willing to pursue that

Might be time to relitigate that whole no-reasonable-person-could-believe defense,


Can we please?  They've been riding that bullshiat since forever to wrecking ball the entire farking country
 
2022-01-18 4:55:36 PM  

TomDooley: What that hellscape looks like:
[Fark user image image 850x523]


Does the antique store have any old razors or shaving brushes, even better any Rogers drums?

Asking for s friend with a bit of a collecting problem.
 
2022-01-18 4:55:36 PM  

neongoats: TomDooley: What that hellscape looks like:
[Fark user image 850x523]

How did you get a photo of every rural township in Ohio? Are you a wizard?


And here I thought it was rural North Texas
 
2022-01-18 4:57:00 PM  

pacified: neongoats: TomDooley: What that hellscape looks like:
[Fark user image 850x523]

How did you get a photo of every rural township in Ohio? Are you a wizard?

And here I thought it was rural North Texas


I also would have accepted Nashua New Hampshire. Or at least, the buildings look about right, but it's too dry, sunny, and flat.
 
2022-01-18 4:58:37 PM  

The Devil's Bartender: Combustion: My ignorant ass-father called

BS. How do ass-fathers use the phone?


They butt-dial, of course.
 
2022-01-18 4:58:54 PM  

The Devil's Bartender: Combustion: My ignorant ass-father called

BS. How do ass-fathers use the phone?


https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/421901-did-i-ever-tell-you-about-the-man-who-taught
 
2022-01-18 4:58:58 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: pacified: neongoats: TomDooley: What that hellscape looks like:
[Fark user image 850x523]

How did you get a photo of every rural township in Ohio? Are you a wizard?

And here I thought it was rural North Texas

I also would have accepted Nashua New Hampshire. Or at least, the buildings look about right, but it's too dry, sunny, and flat.


I was thinking Alton, Illinois.
 
2022-01-18 5:01:51 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
On it
 
2022-01-18 5:01:52 PM  
Once you learn how to toss an eyeful of dirt with one hand and stab with the other, it's pretty easy to get through Downtown Los Angeles. Fuel up your flamethrower before getting on the metro.
 
2022-01-18 5:03:54 PM  
Nothing amusing about it.  Their audience laps this shiat up like antifreeze, and then they vote accordingly.
 
2022-01-18 5:05:00 PM  
Good to see that the rest of the big cities have sunk to Detroit's level of...whatever you call it.

Welcome to the club (of an image that doesn't match the reality).
 
2022-01-18 5:08:03 PM  

TomDooley: What that hellscape looks like:
[Fark user image 850x523]


What town is that? I might need to use a store or two on my model railroad.
 
2022-01-18 5:09:38 PM  
Let me see if I can sum it up: fully vaccinated Faux "News" (per *corporate mandate* of Newscorp) libels all big cites (including the one where all of them live).

The Weekly World News does better.
 
2022-01-18 5:11:02 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: pacified: neongoats: TomDooley: What that hellscape looks like:
[Fark user image 850x523]

How did you get a photo of every rural township in Ohio? Are you a wizard?

And here I thought it was rural North Texas

I also would have accepted Nashua New Hampshire. Or at least, the buildings look about right, but it's too dry, sunny, and flat.


The hell parts of Nashua are you hanging out in?

/There 2-3 times a week for work, downtown
//Now some of the little towns up here
///Well, with a lot more snow, cold and Hill People (tm)
 
2022-01-18 5:11:34 PM  

The Devil's Bartender: Combustion: My ignorant ass-father called

BS. How do ass-fathers use the phone?


imgs.xkcd.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-18 5:13:15 PM  

meat0918: Can we take them off the area for such blatant lying?


Ehhhhh, probably not, even under ideal circumstances (which we are obviously far from enjoying, anyhow).

"PANIC! RIGHT NOW!  YOU ARE ABOUT TO BE KILLED!" causes imminent danger to people and is the kind of thing ("FIRE" in a crowded theater, etc.) you can't get away with.

"PANIC AT THE BALLOT BOX BECAUSE LIEBRUL COMMIES WANT TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN WITH YOUR KIDS IN IT" may be libel but doesn't cause immediate danger to people.
 
2022-01-18 5:15:08 PM  
My parents live on the far north side of Chicago.  Both are in their 70s, both former hippies.  Both are terrified of traveling downtown because they're afraid of roving gangs attacking them.

I spent most of December commuting into my office in the Loop.  Aside from the lack of people and an uptick in vacant storefronts, nothing has really changed from the way it was two years ago
 
2022-01-18 5:15:10 PM  

functionisalwaystaken: TomDooley: What that hellscape looks like:
[Fark user image image 850x523]

Does the antique store have any old razors or shaving brushes, even better any Rogers drums?

Asking for s friend with a bit of a collecting problem.


Lol I just moved house and brought with a set of vintage Fullerton era "Koa" finish Rogers. Also have at least two more sets worth of "Koa" shells from various eras that I might finally get around to assembling this year...
I'm glad I got over my cymbal collecting problem before I ran out of money.
 
2022-01-18 5:15:30 PM  

Combustion: My ignorant ass-father called and wanted to know "how are we surviving in Portland?? Isn't everything on fire???" I'm all "Well I was just downtown, but I made it out, barely. But I'm safe...for now!"


No one? Really? Fine, I'll do it.
Ahem.

"Username checks out."

/Thank you.
//Tip your waitress.
 
2022-01-18 5:15:56 PM  
I'd have gone with Soylent Gangrene.
 
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