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(YouTube)   Lawyer: You should always decline when a cop asks you to do a field sobriety test. Drunk farker: Duh. Some non-farker: But I don't drink so it can't hurt me. Lawyer: I'm talking to you too, Mr. Teetotaler   (youtube.com) divider line
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4088 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jan 2022 at 12:20 AM (29 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2022-01-16 7:00:45 PM  
Plead the 5th. Take the 6 month suspension. Better than a DUI and $10k fighting it.
 
2022-01-16 7:29:51 PM  
Assume the cop is a lying motherf*cker and act accordingly from there.
 
2022-01-16 7:37:50 PM  
I've always thought these tests are BS. Far far too much depends on that cops opinion, not actual facts.
In the UK cops use breathalysers, which are generally trusted. Machine says you're under the limit? You're free to go. That's it. Machine says you're over the limit? Free ride to the police station where you have the option of asking for a test by the far more accurate station based breath test or a blood test by a doctor. If they say you're over, well the roadside machine said that so you're no worse off. Don't drink and drive asshole. But if the more accurate machine says you're under? Free to go. End of the matter.
The cops opinion more or less counts for nothing. It's a machine, and the machine won't think you look dodgy or the wrong colour.
 
2022-01-16 7:51:00 PM  
Step one: Ask for a lawyer, since doing so means that the police can't ask you for so much as the time of day without violating your civil rights

Step two: Pray to the deity of your choice you don't get arrested for asking for a lawyer and subsequently get suicided at the precinct while the security cameras mysteriously malfunction

Step three: Pray to the deity of your choice that the judge hearing your case doesn't arbitrarily decide that your unambiguous request for a lawyer does not count as such because the police decided they didn't like the way you tried to exercise your rights


/step zero: do not be a Black person
 
2022-01-16 9:35:42 PM  
I was told by a cop that field sobriety tests are only given when they intend to arrest you anyway and want to make you look more guilty by doing stupid shiat on camera.
 
2022-01-16 10:00:53 PM  

koder: I was told by a cop that field sobriety tests are only given when they intend to arrest you anyway and want to make you look more guilty by doing stupid shiat on camera.


Many moons ago...I was given one...which I "passed".  The cop then asked me if I consent to a breathalyzer.   I refused.  He let me go.
 
2022-01-17 12:23:27 AM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: Don't drink and drive asshole.


We're done here.
 
2022-01-17 12:25:29 AM  

koder: I was told by a cop that field sobriety tests are only given when they intend to arrest you anyway and want to make you look more guilty by doing stupid shiat on camera.


Pretty much.  They always make you blow after so really what's the point.
 
2022-01-17 12:27:44 AM  
It's practically a cliche that lawyers always decline sobriety tests, so yes, everyone else should too.
 
2022-01-17 12:29:26 AM  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg4LshGqvZU

Don't do the field sobriety tests, they're just there to establish probable cause to arrest you. In California they are optional.
 
2022-01-17 12:29:26 AM  

theteacher: Plead the 5th. Take the 6 month suspension. Better than a DUI and $10k fighting it.


If only it were that easy. They then proceed to get a warrant from the overnight judge who is already pissed about being up all night and do a blood test.

You cannot beat implied consent. You can't. Just trust me on this. And if by some miracle you manage to get through the night without blowing or a blood draw, you're still paying a lawyer because they'll throw everything they can at you and there will be no mercy shown. And then the real fun begins. Insurance companies take a very dim view on DUI offenders.

Own it from the start, get a lawyer, take the diversionary program, and get on with your life. Just don't farking do it again.
 
2022-01-17 12:33:57 AM  
#AbolishThePolice!
#ACAB!
#NoMoreCops!
 
2022-01-17 12:36:13 AM  
Watched the first few minutes of "Legal Bro", and decided I would not take legal advice from him. Also, don't drive drunk. Problem solved.
 
2022-01-17 12:37:45 AM  

theteacher: Plead the 5th. Take the 6 month suspension. Better than a DUI and $10k fighting it.


Jeebus, watch TFing video, that's not the point.  The point is, refusing a field sobriety test will not suspend your license.  You are required to submit to a blood alcohol test only AFTER you are arrested.  Cops will LIE to you and say you will lose your license if you don't walk the straight line and too all that other crazy stuff.  It's not true, know your rights and don't trust some guy like me on the internet.  Look up your own state laws
 
2022-01-17 12:41:17 AM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: I've always thought these tests are BS. Far far too much depends on that cops opinion, not actual facts.
In the UK cops use breathalysers, which are generally trusted. Machine says you're under the limit? You're free to go. That's it. Machine says you're over the limit? Free ride to the police station where you have the option of asking for a test by the far more accurate station based breath test or a blood test by a doctor. If they say you're over, well the roadside machine said that so you're no worse off. Don't drink and drive asshole. But if the more accurate machine says you're under? Free to go. End of the matter.
The cops opinion more or less counts for nothing. It's a machine, and the machine won't think you look dodgy or the wrong colour.


Same in Australia.  But I don't think they have access to modern technology like that in shiathole countries.
 
2022-01-17 12:43:50 AM  

ecor1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg4LshGqvZU

Don't do the field sobriety tests, they're just there to establish probable cause to arrest you. In California they are optional.


They're optional in every state.

Until you're in the chrome bracelets, everything is optional and the answer is "no".

And for everyone that's gonna jump on this about breathalyzer refusal - the handheld unit is NOT a breathalyzer, it's a preliminary breath test and does NOT fall under implied consent.

The answer is "no" until you're arrested, and after that it's "I need to call my lawyer."
 
2022-01-17 12:45:42 AM  
I recently had physical therapy for core strengthening. For the balance part, they had me do each and every thing you see on tv dui stops, including touching your nose with your eyes closed. I almost started laughing a couple of times.
And yeah, you don't necessarily need to be high to fail one, I assure you. I failed at first.
 
2022-01-17 12:46:09 AM  

Melvin Lovecraft: Also, don't drive drunk. Problem solved.


Yeah, because no one has ever been falsely accused by a cop before, accidentally or intentionally.
 
2022-01-17 12:46:28 AM  

koder: I was told by a cop that field sobriety tests are only given when they intend to arrest you anyway and want to make you look more guilty by doing stupid shiat on camera.


The only one I've ever done, the cop let me go after. I'm pretty sure he was just trying to scare a dumb kid though, I hadn't done anything illegal.
 
2022-01-17 12:46:35 AM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: theteacher: Plead the 5th. Take the 6 month suspension. Better than a DUI and $10k fighting it.

If only it were that easy. They then proceed to get a warrant from the overnight judge who is already pissed about being up all night and do a blood test.

You cannot beat implied consent. You can't. Just trust me on this. And if by some miracle you manage to get through the night without blowing or a blood draw, you're still paying a lawyer because they'll throw everything they can at you and there will be no mercy shown. And then the real fun begins. Insurance companies take a very dim view on DUI offenders.

Own it from the start, get a lawyer, take the diversionary program, and get on with your life. Just don't farking do it again.


You can.  Implied consent is only after you're arrested.

Don't give them the evidence to arrest you, which is all roadside tests are.
 
2022-01-17 12:53:40 AM  

ISmartAllMyOwnPosts: Adolf Oliver Nipples: theteacher: Plead the 5th. Take the 6 month suspension. Better than a DUI and $10k fighting it.

If only it were that easy. They then proceed to get a warrant from the overnight judge who is already pissed about being up all night and do a blood test.

You cannot beat implied consent. You can't. Just trust me on this. And if by some miracle you manage to get through the night without blowing or a blood draw, you're still paying a lawyer because they'll throw everything they can at you and there will be no mercy shown. And then the real fun begins. Insurance companies take a very dim view on DUI offenders.

Own it from the start, get a lawyer, take the diversionary program, and get on with your life. Just don't farking do it again.

You can.  Implied consent is only after you're arrested.

Don't give them the evidence to arrest you, which is all roadside tests are.


If they pull you over they're already asserting "reasonable suspicion". Refusal to take the sobriety tests will invariably result in blowing into the machine. If you refuse to do that you get the warrant and the needle.

In my jurisdiction they don't even bother with the tests. They tell you to blow into the machine, and then they arrest you.

The times when saying no to field sobriety tests are effective at avoiding charges are so rare as to be nonexistent.
 
2022-01-17 12:55:12 AM  

lindalouwho: I recently had physical therapy for core strengthening. For the balance part, they had me do each and every thing you see on tv dui stops, including touching your nose with your eyes closed. I almost started laughing a couple of times.
And yeah, you don't necessarily need to be high to fail one, I assure you. I failed at first.


Keeping your balance on one foot with eyes closed is quite difficult even when stone sober - you don't realize how much you unconsciously correct your balance by visual cues until you try standing on one foot with eyes closed for 30 sec.
 
2022-01-17 12:57:11 AM  
Due to arthritis, there are days I have mobility issues.  Those field tests could be problematic for me.   Besides, the conclusion from those tests are entirely up to the mood of the cop.
 
2022-01-17 12:57:38 AM  
Let me tell you how that shiat works here in Texas. The cops still arrest you, get a warrant from the night judge for a blood test, and you still get a DWI. Now you got all the headaches of a DWI plus a 6 month suspension of your drivers license for refusing the field test, and that's in addition to any suspension you may get from the DWI.
 
2022-01-17 12:57:53 AM  

theteacher: Plead the 5th. Take the 6 month suspension. Better than a DUI and $10k fighting it.


I keep reading advice like this, and I can't shake the feeling that there's a certain color scale that your skin has to fit in order to be able to pull off stonewalling to the cops successfully.

/Petergriffin.gif
 
2022-01-17 12:58:47 AM  

sotua: lindalouwho: I recently had physical therapy for core strengthening. For the balance part, they had me do each and every thing you see on tv dui stops, including touching your nose with your eyes closed. I almost started laughing a couple of times.
And yeah, you don't necessarily need to be high to fail one, I assure you. I failed at first.

Keeping your balance on one foot with eyes closed is quite difficult even when stone sober - you don't realize how much you unconsciously correct your balance by visual cues until you try standing on one foot with eyes closed for 30 sec.


You ain't lyin'. Taking physical therapy (my request) was the best thing I could have some for myself, the difference is amazing. Just have to keep up with everything while still staying in a lot because of Covid. Won't catch me slacking off again!
 
2022-01-17 12:59:39 AM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: ISmartAllMyOwnPosts: Adolf Oliver Nipples: theteacher: Plead the 5th. Take the 6 month suspension. Better than a DUI and $10k fighting it.

If only it were that easy. They then proceed to get a warrant from the overnight judge who is already pissed about being up all night and do a blood test.

You cannot beat implied consent. You can't. Just trust me on this. And if by some miracle you manage to get through the night without blowing or a blood draw, you're still paying a lawyer because they'll throw everything they can at you and there will be no mercy shown. And then the real fun begins. Insurance companies take a very dim view on DUI offenders.

Own it from the start, get a lawyer, take the diversionary program, and get on with your life. Just don't farking do it again.

You can.  Implied consent is only after you're arrested.

Don't give them the evidence to arrest you, which is all roadside tests are.

If they pull you over they're already asserting "reasonable suspicion". Refusal to take the sobriety tests will invariably result in blowing into the machine. If you refuse to do that you get the warrant and the needle.

In my jurisdiction they don't even bother with the tests. They tell you to blow into the machine, and then they arrest you.

The times when saying no to field sobriety tests are effective at avoiding charges are so rare as to be nonexistent.


Simply, no.

Refusal of the tests can't be used as a reason to blow or blood draw.

If you aren't totally shiathammered, can't carry on a conversation drunk - they won't have enough to tag you.

If anything, you get a speeding ticket or a careless driving warning.  Best excuse today "I was checking my phone!"

Still a ticket, but nothing like DUI.

You can probably refuse your way out of a .16 DUI - you probably can't refuse your way out of a .24 DUI.
 
2022-01-17 1:01:57 AM  
Don't want to do the field sobriety tests? Fine.

You were weaving back and forth in your lane, your eyes are bloodshot, your speech is slurred, I can smell the alcohol on your breath, etc.

You're under arrest, now blow. Don't want to blow? Fine, at minimum, your license gets suspended for a year.
 
2022-01-17 1:03:48 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Any time a cop wants to question you ask, "Is this a custodial interview?"

if no, leave. if yes, ask for an attorney.

/all cops lie
 
2022-01-17 1:05:22 AM  

chewielouie: Don't want to do the field sobriety tests? Fine.

You were weaving back and forth in your lane, your eyes are bloodshot, your speech is slurred, I can smell the alcohol on your breath, etc.

You're under arrest, now blow. Don't want to blow? Fine, at minimum, your license gets suspended for a year.


Once you're arrested, you can't be forced to blow into the handheld box. If a blow into the handheld post arrest is used to justify a blood draw or lab breath test - that's a case for dismissal.

Why does Fark hate 4A so much?
 
2022-01-17 1:11:27 AM  
Call a tow truck if you're not ok to drive.

It doesn't cost that much more than a taxi, and your car will be there in the morning.

/ plus you wont kill anyone
 
2022-01-17 1:15:05 AM  
Uh, Canadians take note: Failure to consent to a test is, in itself a criminal offense. So, uh...don't do this.

note:Failure or refusal to comply with demand
320.15 (1) Everyone commits an offence who, knowing that a demand has been made, fails or refuses to comply, without reasonable excuse, with a demand made under section 320.27 or 320.28.
 
2022-01-17 1:16:55 AM  
https://www.michigan-drunk-driving-lawyer.com/do-i-have-to-take-a-breathalyzer-test-if-i-get-pulled-over.html

Your best option is to listen to lawyers in your state and not people on fark.

In my state you should refuse shiat on the roadside, but you're pretty much stuck taking the more accurate test at the station.
 
2022-01-17 1:18:22 AM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: I've always thought these tests are BS. Far far too much depends on that cops opinion, not actual facts.
In the UK cops use breathalysers, which are generally trusted. Machine says you're under the limit? You're free to go. That's it. Machine says you're over the limit? Free ride to the police station where you have the option of asking for a test by the far more accurate station based breath test or a blood test by a doctor. If they say you're over, well the roadside machine said that so you're no worse off. Don't drink and drive asshole. But if the more accurate machine says you're under? Free to go. End of the matter.
The cops opinion more or less counts for nothing. It's a machine, and the machine won't think you look dodgy or the wrong colour.


Burnistoun - Suck This
Youtube atR08mg1484
meanwhile up north ...
 
2022-01-17 1:24:36 AM  
Got lucky in my younger years. Didn't lie about having a few. Walked the lines. Blew a .009. Could have driven a big rig home at the time with that I think. Berated them for the way they parked my car when I left.
I mean I was pretty sure I was legal but I didn't want to upset Mr. Fife by lying. Today I know better.
 
2022-01-17 1:30:29 AM  

Smackledorfer: https://www.michigan-drunk-driving-lawyer.com/do-i-have-to-take-a-breathalyzer-test-if-i-get-pulled-over.html

Your best option is to listen to lawyers in your state and not people on fark.

In my state you should refuse shiat on the roadside, but you're pretty much stuck taking the more accurate test at the station.


Push the emergency call button for the lawyer, and stick your arm in the auto-draw.  That way you've got evidence of what your blood state was when the officer pulled you over.   Anything they try is on live remote recording inside and outside the vehicle, and your own team of security is on their way before the wheels even stop turning.

If you don't have that level of service, why are you even paying them that much?
 
2022-01-17 1:38:34 AM  
When they pull you over and ask you to step out of the car, just look at his belt and say "Hey, that's a nice gun." You won't have to worry at all about taking the roadside test.
 
2022-01-17 1:56:52 AM  
 
2022-01-17 2:13:06 AM  

sotua: Keeping your balance on one foot with eyes closed is quite difficult even when stone sober - you don't realize how much you unconsciously correct your balance by visual cues until you try standing on one foot with eyes closed for 30 sec.


I never tire of telling this story so don't stop me if you've heard this one before. I got picked for a jury trying a local dentist for DUI. He'd hired a Racehorse Haynes level defense attorney who on cross examining the arresting officer asked him to demonstrate this same stupid human trick for the court. He held his leg out for about five seconds and then fell to the floor at which point the defense attorney asked, 'officer, have you been drinking this morning?' We found the dentist not guilty and he later sent me a letter thanking me and offering free dental service which I declined.
 
2022-01-17 2:27:35 AM  
I was on month 5 of working open to close at a parts store 7 days a week with no day off. I was on my way home at 1130ish pm after a 14hr shift. Got pulled over because "you bumped the yellow line a couple times" and I was really tired and really pissed but I was polite because I know how this shiat goes down. He asked me where id been where i was heading etc. I explained my circumstance. He called me a liar. That the store closed at 9. Well no shiat shirtlock. I had a whole store that had to be swept mopped front and faced 4 registers to count down a safe to verify and a deposit made for the days sales. That doesnt happen in 5 minutes. So that made him mad that I could explain it away. Mind you I was in a work uniform complete with name tag at this time. He told me he wanted to give me a field sobriety test. I told him I have permanent nerve damage in my back and right leg and I didnt think it would give an accurate assessment of my conditon. He then said "ohhhhh so youre one of those guys with AIR QUOTE back pain AIR QUOTE so youre likely not drunk. Just on pain pills. At which point I told him arrest me ticket me or hand me my license back because I had nothing else to say to him. He went back to his car. Sat in it for one hr and 13 minutes. Then walked up and threw my license in my lap and told me "get the fark home..if thats where youre actually going" and he drove off. Of course I talked to the chief. And I also filed a complaint. Of course nothing happened.
 
2022-01-17 2:44:25 AM  
They call it the DUI Industrial Complex for a reason,  FST is designed to make you fail, period. The field breathalyzer in the cop's trunks more beat up than Nicole Brown Simpson.  Go 4 blood, anything the cop cajoles you into under the guise of "letting you gst home" is designed to convict you with as little effort on the cops part as possible
 
2022-01-17 2:46:06 AM  

Melvin Lovecraft: Watched the first few minutes of "Legal Bro", and decided I would not take legal advice from him. Also, don't drive drunk. Problem solved.


If "problem solved," why are teetotalers mentioned?
 
2022-01-17 3:08:42 AM  

Watubi: theteacher: Plead the 5th. Take the 6 month suspension. Better than a DUI and $10k fighting it.

Jeebus, watch TFing video, that's not the point.  The point is, refusing a field sobriety test will not suspend your license.  You are required to submit to a blood alcohol test only AFTER you are arrested.  Cops will LIE to you and say you will lose your license if you don't walk the straight line and too all that other crazy stuff.  It's not true, know your rights and don't trust some guy like me on the internet.  Look up your own state laws


Hay!  He's theteacher not thelearner.  You take your fancy videos by Mr. Lawtalker and stuff 'em in a sack.
 
2022-01-17 3:17:13 AM  

God_Almighty_Himself: #AbolishThePolice!
#ACAB!
#NoMoreCops!


16 year olds always choose anarchy (in the UK).

Grow up
 
2022-01-17 3:20:12 AM  

Melvin Lovecraft: Watched the first few minutes of "Legal Bro", and decided I would not take legal advice from him. Also, don't drive drunk. Problem solved.


I got to his #1 just to see what he had to say.

most of them were pretty dodgy, but his #1 starts with "The gubermint is trackin all of our phones all the time, so dey shuld alredy no, and mah freedums"
 
2022-01-17 3:20:22 AM  
Don't do the field test

offer to blow

field test is b*******
 
2022-01-17 3:23:02 AM  

ISmartAllMyOwnPosts: ecor1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg4LshGqvZU

Don't do the field sobriety tests, they're just there to establish probable cause to arrest you. In California they are optional.

They're optional in every state.

Until you're in the chrome bracelets, everything is optional and the answer is "no".

And for everyone that's gonna jump on this about breathalyzer refusal - the handheld unit is NOT a breathalyzer, it's a preliminary breath test and does NOT fall under implied consent.

The answer is "no" until you're arrested, and after that it's "I need to call my lawyer."


look at this rich guy who already has a lawyer on retainer.

or were you planning on spending the night/weekend in jail and calling a random lawyer/public defender during business hours?
 
2022-01-17 3:27:40 AM  

ReapTheChaos: Let me tell you how that shiat works here in Texas. The cops still arrest you, get a warrant from the night judge for a blood test, and you still get a DWI. Now you got all the headaches of a DWI plus a 6 month suspension of your drivers license for refusing the field test, and that's in addition to any suspension you may get from the DWI.


and all of the court and lawyer's fees, plus having a breathalyzer installed in your car, hooked to your ignition

/not me, but a buddy of mine had all of that.
 
2022-01-17 3:30:17 AM  

Giant Clown Shoe: [Fark user image image 348x372]

Any time a cop wants to question you ask, "Is this a custodial interview?"

if no, leave. if yes, ask for an attorney.

/all cops lie


just tell them you weren't driving, you were "traveling"

I'm sure if you find the right magic words, you'll get out of that DUI/DWI
 
2022-01-17 3:40:09 AM  

ecor1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qg4LshGqvZU

Don't do the field sobriety tests, they're just there to establish probable cause to arrest you. In California they are optional.


Defense lawyers where I live refer to it as the "roadside agility test."
 
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