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(Conde Nast Traveler)   Book last minute? Pay in cash? You get a quad. Enjoy your delay citizen   (cntraveler.com) divider line
    More: Murica, United States Department of Homeland Security, Transportation Security Administration, Airline ticket, Travel, Airport security, airline passengers, travel agent, TSA PreCheck  
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4869 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Jan 2022 at 10:04 PM (2 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



54 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2 days ago  
New Jersey-based travel agent and blogger Maddie Winters flies between 75,000 and 100,000 miles per year. Despite having Global Entry, she has been SSSS'd more than eight times.

Soo... nine?
 
2 days ago  
I was traveling for work weekly, the first part of 2019. I was commuting to Toronto for a month and a half in there, with tickets bought by the company and TSA Pre. (Global Entry wasn't quite worth it.) Got quad-S'd on the way back two weeks in a row.

Best guess, they needed their white-guy quota to keep their stats deniable.
 
2 days ago  
Shortly after the Patriot Act passed, I sent all the TLAs a FOIA request for whatever files they had on me. It was my little, personal protest against surveillance overreach.

I got the SSSS every time I flew for at least 5 or 6 years.
 
2 days ago  
For a couple of years, I got the quad S treatment. At the same time, I held a government job with a Top Secret clearance. You'd think they would compare notes.
 
2 days ago  
"Book last minute? You get a quad."

Deal.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2 days ago  
I got a quad S on my boarding pass in the pre-pre-check era... Best thing that ever happened. The regular TSA line was overflowing, close to an hour. I politely pushed up to the front, showed my pass and said "you'll want me to wait someplace special, right?" They pointed me to the "special" line where I had to wait all of 5 minutes for my grope and screening, and then I shot through security and went off to wait in the bar for my flight.
 
2 days ago  

sorceror: I was traveling for work weekly, the first part of 2019. I was commuting to Toronto for a month and a half in there, with tickets bought by the company and TSA Pre. (Global Entry wasn't quite worth it.) Got quad-S'd on the way back two weeks in a row.

Best guess, they needed their white-guy quota to keep their stats deniable.


I was traveling for work, probably around 2009 or so, and we're at the gate, and they specifically ask if any of have a checkerboard pattern on our tickets, as those people are going to have to go through extra screening.  (Hand wand + a pat down)

No one fesses up to it, so they just start picking people 'randomly' out of the crowd.

So of course it was all of the guys with beards who were 'randomly' selected.

/probably shouldn't have mentioned that a real terrorist wouldn't be so obvious
//or that the woman with the stroller had a potential to hide way more stuff
///was also traveling with federal government ID, though
 
2 days ago  
Bonus: If you have a fairly common name and someone with that name gets enhanced scrutiny then EVERYONE with that name gets it. Security theater at its most incompetent, IMHO.
 
2 days ago  
<csb>Got a quad when I bought the last minute upgrade on a one-way flight from SMF to HNL. However, they didn't catch it going through TSA, so I got the privilige of being patted down and my things gone through at the gate. Was getting the side eye from everyone else as they boarded</csb>
 
2 days ago  

Oneiros: So of course it was all of the guys with beards who were 'randomly' selected.


That's silly. It's the "recently-shaved full beard" tan-line that you have to watch out for.
 
2 days ago  
Sounds like Snake Language.
Harry Porter says snake language, which makes teachers and students afraid
Youtube 8ie_9REmgpg
 
2 days ago  
It's almost like we didn't learn a thing about safety and security.  Peoples memories farking suck.
 
2 days ago  
COVID-19: 845,000. Scary Mooselimbs: 3,000. Critical Race Theory: 0.

Guess which ones the RWNJs are afraid of.
 
2 days ago  
Or... you're Reptilian.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2 days ago  
Total extra stuff done the one time I drew four snakes:

- Bag gets swabbed at check in.   Takes about 1 minute.
- Terrorists-only security check.  3 minutes for some dumb questions and a hand wanding, and I skipped a huge line.
- An additional hand wanding just before walking down the jetway.   1 minute.

Probably save me 20 minutes in line and I got to be treated like Saudi royalty.
 
2 days ago  

The Reverend Sam Hill: COVID-19: 845,000. Scary Mooselimbs: 3,000. Critical Race Theory: 0.

Guess which ones the RWNJs are afraid of.


Guess with one LWNJs declared everyone around them to have.
 
2 days ago  
steamuserimages-a.akamaihd.netView Full Size


/Close enough.
 
2 days ago  
I am sure there are reasons but who pays on cash for an airline ticket. Where do you even go to pay in cash?
 
2 days ago  

sorceror: I was traveling for work weekly, the first part of 2019. I was commuting to Toronto for a month and a half in there, with tickets bought by the company and TSA Pre. (Global Entry wasn't quite worth it.) Got quad-S'd on the way back two weeks in a row.

Best guess, they needed their white-guy quota to keep their stats deniable.


Mrs. Nuran is middle aged, middle class, and has never filed a FOIA. Never had a speeding ticket, buys round trip tickets well in advance. Volunteers for the most anodyne civic groups. Most of her travel was visiting her aging parents and then her widowed mother.

But she got quadded a fair bit. I can't POSSIBLY guess why. Yes I can. A history of being publicly Muslim and Not-White
 
2 days ago  

Toxophil: [steamuserimages-a.akamaihd.net image 800x544]

/Close enough.


Free Mars...
 
2 days ago  

anuran: sorceror: I was traveling for work weekly, the first part of 2019. I was commuting to Toronto for a month and a half in there, with tickets bought by the company and TSA Pre. (Global Entry wasn't quite worth it.) Got quad-S'd on the way back two weeks in a row.

Best guess, they needed their white-guy quota to keep their stats deniable.

Mrs. Nuran is middle aged, middle class, and has never filed a FOIA. Never had a speeding ticket, buys round trip tickets well in advance. Volunteers for the most anodyne civic groups. Most of her travel was visiting her aging parents and then her widowed mother.

But she got quadded a fair bit. I can't POSSIBLY guess why. Yes I can. A history of being publicly Muslim and Not-White


So what do you attribute all of the middle age, fat white guys experience here to?  A rational person would pick "incompetent bureaucracy/security theater".  Are you rational?
 
2 days ago  

studebaker hoch: Total extra stuff done the one time I drew four snakes:

- Bag gets swabbed at check in.   Takes about 1 minute.
- Terrorists-only security check.  3 minutes for some dumb questions and a hand wanding, and I skipped a huge line.
- An additional hand wanding just before walking down the jetway.   1 minute.

Probably save me 20 minutes in line and I got to be treated like Saudi royalty.


I was flagged SSSS once from LHR-JFK

Two others were as well.  Both of them were brown, I am not.  We were taken to a secondary area and subject to further screening (I am also global entry) One of the actually joked as they were getting patted down "A brown man with the name Mohammad Ali*, no way I wasn't getting flagged"  I just looked at both of them,. and thought to myself "Sadly, I am the plausible deniability for you guys getting singled out"

And yeah, I was able to board immediately after, as was my wife, getting on the plane while it was empty was great.


* Not the real name he said, I can't remember, but it was just about as common arabic mulsim nomenclature as you can get.
 
2 days ago  

jaivirtualcard: I am sure there are reasons but who pays on cash for an airline ticket. Where do you even go to pay in cash?


I expect paying with a prepaid debit card or gift card or something like that would be considered "paying in cash". Beyond that, you CAN still go through a travel agent, or just go to the airport directly.

https://traveltips.usatoday.com/buy-a​i​rline-tickets-credit-card-60918.html
 
2 days ago  

fatassbastard: New Jersey-based travel agent and blogger Maddie Winters flies between 75,000 and 100,000 miles per year. Despite having Global Entry, she has been SSSS'd more than eight times.

Soo... nine?


No one?  OK.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2 days ago  
I got quadded flying from LaGuardia to SeaTac. All they found was a container of M&M's I was taking back for my 4 year old son. Almost missed my flight...
 
2 days ago  
external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2 days ago  

studebaker hoch: Total extra stuff done the one time I drew four snakes:

- Bag gets swabbed at check in.   Takes about 1 minute.
- Terrorists-only security check.  3 minutes for some dumb questions and a hand wanding, and I skipped a huge line.
- An additional hand wanding just before walking down the jetway.   1 minute.

Probably save me 20 minutes in line and I got to be treated like Saudi royalty.


You got to murder a journalist without any consequences?
 
2 days ago  

IRestoreFurniture: studebaker hoch: Total extra stuff done the one time I drew four snakes:

- Bag gets swabbed at check in.   Takes about 1 minute.
- Terrorists-only security check.  3 minutes for some dumb questions and a hand wanding, and I skipped a huge line.
- An additional hand wanding just before walking down the jetway.   1 minute.

Probably save me 20 minutes in line and I got to be treated like Saudi royalty.

I was flagged SSSS once from LHR-JFK

Two others were as well.  Both of them were brown, I am not.  We were taken to a secondary area and subject to further screening (I am also global entry) One of the actually joked as they were getting patted down "A brown man with the name Mohammad Ali*, no way I wasn't getting flagged"  I just looked at both of them,. and thought to myself "Sadly, I am the plausible deniability for you guys getting singled out"


Hmmn.
 
2 days ago  

noitsnot: IRestoreFurniture: studebaker hoch: Total extra stuff done the one time I drew four snakes:

- Bag gets swabbed at check in.   Takes about 1 minute.
- Terrorists-only security check.  3 minutes for some dumb questions and a hand wanding, and I skipped a huge line.
- An additional hand wanding just before walking down the jetway.   1 minute.

Probably save me 20 minutes in line and I got to be treated like Saudi royalty.

I was flagged SSSS once from LHR-JFK

Two others were as well.  Both of them were brown, I am not.  We were taken to a secondary area and subject to further screening (I am also global entry) One of the actually joked as they were getting patted down "A brown man with the name Mohammad Ali*, no way I wasn't getting flagged"  I just looked at both of them,. and thought to myself "Sadly, I am the plausible deniability for you guys getting singled out"

Hmmn.


?

Hmm?
 
2 days ago  

Jeebus Saves: The Reverend Sam Hill: COVID-19: 845,000. Scary Mooselimbs: 3,000. Critical Race Theory: 0.

Guess which ones the RWNJs are afraid of.

Guess with one LWNJs declared everyone around them to have.


wat

external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2 days ago  
I got quadded at SAT when buying a last minute flight to IAH to make an existing flight with no checked bag. Took 5 more minutes of screening. Never happened again.
 
2 days ago  
I've been given the pat down a couple times.  I think because it was hot and the DNA-scrambler doesn't do well with damp clothing.  They gave me the option of going to a private room.  "Nah, man, let's get this done right here.  I want to grab lunch before I get on the plane.  Can't waste time."  Make those dudes juggle my nuts in public where everyone can watch.
 
2 days ago  
You know who else has a quad
upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size
 
2 days ago  

scanman61: studebaker hoch: Total extra stuff done the one time I drew four snakes:

- Bag gets swabbed at check in.   Takes about 1 minute.
- Terrorists-only security check.  3 minutes for some dumb questions and a hand wanding, and I skipped a huge line.
- An additional hand wanding just before walking down the jetway.   1 minute.

Probably save me 20 minutes in line and I got to be treated like Saudi royalty.

You got to murder a journalist without any consequences?


And I got to fly the airplane into a building!
 
2 days ago  
Coming back from a work trip to Tel Aviv years ago, I got yanked from the line by security.  They farked with me for a couple hours.  Searched luggage, swabbed everything, took my shoes for a bit, lots of weird questions.  Tell me to sit somewhere and wait, then someone else comes over mad and asks why I'm sitting there.  Seemed like intentional head games.

When I got to Frankfurt, AA agent smiled and said "oh they did something special to you" but wouldn't explain further.  Spent the flight home wondering, never found out.
 
2 days ago  
I've gotten SSSS so many times traveling that I am shocked when I don't get it. One time they scanned my backpack three times before unpacking it and rescanning it. Where they worried about the hundreds of skate bearing I was carrying might be a bit suspect? Nope, they thought they picked up a "sharp edge" when scanning my bag. It was one of the flaps on one of the display boxes for the bearings. Another time they pulled me & swabbed all the pockets of my backpack. but it was just fumes from the Sharpie I had recently used before getting in line to go thru TSA. 

The last time was when I was coming back from Amsterdam thru Dublin. After the male TSA agent gave me a very invasive pat down, I remarked "I think this means we have to get married but I am guessing you're Catholic & I support a woman's right to choose. Also, This would be a gay marriage, so do you want top of bottom?" Needless to say, he was less than amused, which is fine. His revenge was the fact we had to wait for 4 hours in the old ass section of the airport reserved for U.S. bound flights, which wouldn't pass for a bus station is was so decrepit. And yet, they never cared about the pot seeds my friend bought & was bringing back from over there. Indeed, security theater at its finest.
 
2 days ago  
Whaaaaaaaaaa whaaaaaaaaa
 
2 days ago  
Why should last minute be suspicious? I've booked flights as little as 90 minutes before departure in the past.
 
2 days ago  

BigNumber12: "Book last minute? You get a quad."


Deal.

[Fark user image 425x566]

Much tastier than what came to my mind:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2 days ago  
If you want your name to forever be on the list when you get a SSSS, check in but don't get on the plane.  It will cause the TSA to a have a fit long after the plane has left and likely landed.
 
2 days ago  
You will usually get SSSS also if you fly into and out of the USA on different airlines on the same trip. I am doing this for award redemption reasons this month and know to leave extra time.
 
2 days ago  
You get instant SSSS if you travel with your arm or a leg in a cast. Seen it and done it
 
2 days ago  

Poster1212: You get instant SSSS if you travel with your arm or a leg in a cast. Seen it and done it


Entering the US in 2009 via MIami I saw a guy in front of me who could not perform the four-finger-and-thumb scan for the simple reason that he was missing a finger. An official emerged with a red folder and took him and the folder off somewhere. I often wonder if he's made it out yet.
 
2 days ago  

DON.MAC: If you want your name to forever be on the list when you get a SSSS, check in but don't get on the plane.  It will cause the TSA to a have a fit long after the plane has left and likely landed.


Also check something tiny that would be a pain to find and remove.
 
2 days ago  
First time I had to fly after 9-11 (my Sister was dying), I received one of those. The agent at ticketing started to out another card in my ticket, the reached underneath  and gave me one of the "ssss" things, probably because I purchased passage late minute. Flying has had me tagged ever since. My very German surname   can cause consternation. I've been tagged for extra inspection since. I'm an old, crippled Veteran. Thank God I'm now too ill to fly and put up with TSA's crap.
 
2 days ago  

MythDragon: You know who else has a quad
[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x417]


But TSA never tries to stop him.
 
2 days ago  
Turkey is a filthy corrupt shiathole. That is enough of a reason to avoid going there.
 
2 days ago  
My days of not-wanting-to-travel-by-airplane-anym​ore are definitely coming to a middle.
 
2 days ago  

anuran: MythDragon: You know who else has a quad
[upload.wikimedia.org image 220x417]

But TSA never tries to stop him.


He wanted them to try.
 
2 days ago  
4:15 mark
Uncle Usi Taught Me
Youtube geVD-wnrf_k
 
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