Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   If you're over 45, have your spouse shovel the driveway. If your spouse is over 45, make sure their life insurance premium is paid-up, then have your spouse shovel the driveway   (news.yahoo.com) divider line
    More: PSA, Atherosclerosis, Artery, Myocardial infarction, Coronary artery disease, Heart, Hypertension, Blood pressure, Cardiology  
•       •       •

694 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 03 Jan 2022 at 12:50 PM (26 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



44 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2022-01-03 11:33:29 AM  
Kids do the steps and brick walk - My wife and I run the snow blowers. Walk-behind for the parking area for her, Tractor-mounted for me on the 1/4 mile long driveway.

/Yes, being that far off the road is actually worth it.
 
2022-01-03 12:33:01 PM  
Not living in snow prone areas seems to lower my heart attack risk.
 
2022-01-03 12:56:55 PM  
We have a 150-foot driveway.   The only shoveling I do is the clear the back steps off...other than that, the snow blower does all the work...I just walk behind it (and curse the snowplows that make me re-clear the end of the driveway).
 
2022-01-03 1:06:03 PM  
I'd say the same thing about enthusiastic butt sex.
 
2022-01-03 1:14:38 PM  
If Im old enough where this is a problem but have a spouse young enough to be able to do it, I imagine I would have enough money to pay someone to plow
 
2022-01-03 1:22:34 PM  
If shoveling 40 feet of flat ground could kill me, I would deserve to die. Mrs. aaronx would then be free to find someone a little hardier.
 
2022-01-03 1:24:02 PM  
I've shoveled our walk since we got married**, and  we're both over 70 now. One year I didn't because I was recovering from shoulder surgery. Maybe I wouldn't do it if we lived more northerly than Kentucky, but as recently as 5 years ago, we'd regularly get 8-10" snowfalls.

Last year was odd. Not snow. Freezing rain. The next morning we were out front with a hair dryer trying to melt the ice, but that did almost nothing.  What worked were buckets filled with hot water, Rest the buckets on a patch of  ice and then use a broom to sweep away the meltwater. Took us around 90 minutes.

**and, boy, my arms are tired!!!!
 
2022-01-03 1:25:07 PM  
Or you could just buy a snowblower and only have to shovel the things like stairs and ramps.
 
2022-01-03 1:56:44 PM  
A few years back, one of my uncles dropped dead while shoveling snow, on Christmas eve, no less. He was in his late 60s. Made for an interesting holiday season.

I'm not as old as he was but have a snow plow service do my driveway. Best 300$ I ever spent.
 
2022-01-03 2:34:05 PM  
It's f*cking sad that Americans have to be worried about going into cardiac arrest at the age of 45. If you have the means, the money, and the time, please take care of your body such that you don't have to worry about having a heart attack in your mid-40s.

Yes, I know that some otherwise perfectly "healthy" people can have a heart attack, but it's about prevention and mitigation. Something that, by and large, Americans absolutely hate.
 
2022-01-03 2:47:22 PM  

Heamer: It's f*cking sad that Americans have to be worried about going into cardiac arrest at the age of 45. If you have the means, the money, and the time, please take care of your body such that you don't have to worry about having a heart attack in your mid-40s.

Yes, I know that some otherwise perfectly "healthy" people can have a heart attack, but it's about prevention and mitigation. Something that, by and large, Americans absolutely hate.


You sound like a commie.
 
2022-01-03 3:16:51 PM  
"Sorry, honey, I'm leaving you for Staci from work.  She's got another twenty years of shoveling left in her."
 
2022-01-03 3:17:44 PM  

kindms: If Im old enough where this is a problem but have a spouse young enough to be able to do it, I imagine I would have enough money to pay someone to plow


I think they call that cucking, or something
 
2022-01-03 3:23:26 PM  

Heamer: It's f*cking sad that Americans have to be worried about going into cardiac arrest at the age of 45. If you have the means, the money, and the time, please take care of your body such that you don't have to worry about having a heart attack in your mid-40s.

Yes, I know that some otherwise perfectly "healthy" people can have a heart attack, but it's about prevention and mitigation. Something that, by and large, Americans absolutely hate.


the idea is not to leave this world with a pristine body with no damage history, it's to go out with scars and pain from your endeavors, in a dirt raising death skid

well, that's my plan anyway
 
2022-01-03 3:28:46 PM  
I'm 71 and just finished shoveling my driveway.

I'm getting a kick out this.....
 
2022-01-03 3:33:08 PM  

petec: the idea is not to leave this world with a pristine body with no damage history, it's to go out with scars and pain from your endeavors, in a dirt raising death skid

well, that's my plan anyway


I was talking about exercise and healthy eating, but you do you.
 
2022-01-03 3:49:01 PM  

SPARC Pile: Or you could just buy a snowblower and only have to shovel the things like stairs and ramps.


In Northern Virginia, we don't get a lot of snow, but we get enough that I got a single stage snowblower after a back injury. Upgraded to a 2 stage at an end of year sale.

I only use mine 2 or 3 times a year at most, but it's worth every penny when I use it....like today. 
Fark user imageView Full Size
Fark user imageView Full Size
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-03 3:49:43 PM  
I'm well over 45 and get pretty good exercise. But isn't a lot of this just about not being a dumbass? I get to pick how much snow goes on the shovel. And if I get cold, tired, hungry, bored, or whatever, I stop and do more later. I'll usually give it a good effort, but it's pretty easy to take it slowly and never break a sweat.

Sometimes that's the only sensible way, if the snow is coming down for 48+ hours. It's a lot easier to deal with before it gets knee-high.
 
2022-01-03 4:02:57 PM  
People die from all kinds of things.

A friend going back 30 years died at a Subway (the restaurant) last week. When it is your time it is your time. I'm not spending my life being a pussy just because there is a slight risk.

/I shovel 3" at a time
//it can be funny that when I finish the driveway there may be 1-2 more inches on the section I started at
 
2022-01-03 4:19:23 PM  
I'm 44, and in decent shape. At the yearly checkup a few weeks ago, heart and associated vitals were all good. Still, I take no chances:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-03 4:31:46 PM  
Folks, just buy a damn snowblower. It's a total gamechanger and is absolutely worth the money even if you only get heavy snowfall a few times per year. You can help out elderly or disabled neighbors with their driveways/sidewalks, you can clear away those huge piles of snow at the end of the driveway from the plow trucks, and there's no risk of injury. You'll look like a goddamn neighborhood hero.

Trust me we're all soooo impressed that you don't need one because you're healthy and fit and blah blah blah. Great. I don't really need one either but I'll never go without one again. One of the best purchases I've ever made.
 
2022-01-03 4:33:03 PM  
My wife and I are over 45 and refuse to buy, or use, a snowblower. I don't want to sound like Mr. Gym-in-26-minutes, but we both lift weights and do a good amount of cardio daily. Shoveling snow isn't some sort of magical task that will kill you. I realize they say in the article that several factors come together in snow shoveling to make it specifically problematic, but the main ones we're talking about are health-related, and that's just not a concern for us. In fact, I like to shovel snow because it can be my workout for the day. It takes about an hour, my heart rate usually averages somewhere in the 140s, and you can lift and throw snow in a lot of ways that work different muscles, especially abs. Frankly, it's a great workout.
 
2022-01-03 4:34:23 PM  

madgonad: People die from all kinds of things. A friend going back 30 years died at a Subway (the restaurant) last week. When it is your time it is your time. I'm not spending my life being a pussy just because there is a slight risk.


Tell us your thoughts on masks next.

media4.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-03 4:36:00 PM  

Heamer: petec: the idea is not to leave this world with a pristine body with no damage history, it's to go out with scars and pain from your endeavors, in a dirt raising death skid

well, that's my plan anyway

I was talking about exercise and healthy eating, but you do you.


exercise? let me think...

I have 8" of snow I need moved, but let me pay for that to get done

I need to be at the gym in a bit anyway
 
2022-01-03 4:42:13 PM  

madgonad: People die from all kinds of things.

A friend going back 30 years died at a Subway (the restaurant) last week. When it is your time it is your time. I'm not spending my life being a pussy just because there is a slight risk.

/I shovel 3" at a time
//it can be funny that when I finish the driveway there may be 1-2 more inches on the section I started at


and they say that shiat won't kill you
 
2022-01-03 4:49:04 PM  

madgonad: People die from all kinds of things.

A friend going back 30 years died at a Subway (the restaurant) last week. When it is your time it is your time. I'm not spending my life being a pussy just because there is a slight risk.

/I shovel 3" at a time
//it can be funny that when I finish the driveway there may be 1-2 more inches on the section I started at


"My own grandmother fought the Indians for sixty years, then choked to death on lemon pie."
 
2022-01-03 4:49:08 PM  

DecemberNitro: Tell us your thoughts on masks next.


Everyone should wear them when in enclosed environments and tight proximity.
 
2022-01-03 4:52:14 PM  
Snowblower was one of the best purchases I ever made. I pop on a pair of noise canceling headphones, load up Spotify, and just go... It's kinda relaxing, honestly.
 
2022-01-03 4:54:03 PM  

DecemberNitro: madgonad: People die from all kinds of things. A friend going back 30 years died at a Subway (the restaurant) last week. When it is your time it is your time. I'm not spending my life being a pussy just because there is a slight risk.

Tell us your thoughts on masks next.

[media4.giphy.com image 186x266] [View Full Size image _x_]


They're terribly comfortable. I think everyone will be wearing them in the future.
 
2022-01-03 4:55:09 PM  
I have a short driveway, so I have no problem shoveling here in CT.
I'm 59, and in decent shape (regular runner).
I also don't over-do it and try to shovel huge amounts of wet, heavy snow per scoop. Take smaller bites.

/just treated myself to a new ergonomic shovel.
 
2022-01-03 4:56:21 PM  

DecemberNitro: there's no risk of injury


Oh Really?
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2022-01-03 5:19:21 PM  
The 17-year study recorded 1,647 deaths, all of which were cardiac-related.

And how many individuals undertook how many incidents of shoveling during this 17 year study?
 
2022-01-03 5:26:27 PM  
I never shovel. I just wait for the HOA to complain.
 
2022-01-03 5:36:14 PM  
One of the reasons I am never moving out of California.  I can not see my sorry ass getting up at the butt crack of dawn just to shovel snow out of my driveway so I can then go to farking work.  Fark all of that with a rusty snow shovel.
 
2022-01-03 5:46:51 PM  

Oreamnos: The 17-year study recorded 1,647 deaths, all of which were cardiac-related.

And how many individuals undertook how many incidents of shoveling during this 17 year study?


I don't care. I just know I don't want to die while shoveling snow.
 
2022-01-03 6:04:16 PM  

MarkTimeTire: I'm 71 and just finished shoveling my driveway.

I'm getting a kick out this.....


I'm 71 with Type 2, COPD and was just diagnosed with CAD. Ain't no one in this house shoveling that mess outside today.
 
2022-01-03 6:07:48 PM  

petec: exercise? let me think...

I have 8" of snow I need moved, but let me pay for that to get done

I need to be at the gym in a bit anyway


If shoveling snow is your exercise, then great. My point was that it's shameful that Americans might keel over and die from shoveling snow in their mid-40s, most likely due to a lifetime of sedentary living, poor diet, or both. The fact that people might go into cardiac arrest from operating a f*cking shovel is absurd, but a very real possibility.
 
2022-01-03 6:33:22 PM  
Shovels are for people who don't have a truck plow/tractor/atv plow/snowblower.

My driveway is 1700' long. Shoveling it would be an ordeal
 
2022-01-03 7:06:53 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-03 7:10:37 PM  

yakmans_dad: I've shoveled our walk since we got married**, and  we're both over 70 now. One year I didn't because I was recovering from shoulder surgery. Maybe I wouldn't do it if we lived more northerly than Kentucky, but as recently as 5 years ago, we'd regularly get 8-10" snowfalls.

Last year was odd. Not snow. Freezing rain. The next morning we were out front with a hair dryer trying to melt the ice, but that did almost nothing.  What worked were buckets filled with hot water, Rest the buckets on a patch of  ice and then use a broom to sweep away the meltwater. Took us around 90 minutes.

**and, boy, my arms are tired!!!!


For a while there my grandmother went through a phase where the Christmas gifts from her were just whatever the weirdest thing she saw in her catalog was. One year she got my dad a mini-flamethrower that produced, if I understand it correctly, about as much fire as a small tiki torch. The box advertised it to for use on ice and weeds, and maybe also snow. My dad didn't want to use it for snow, saying it would just refreeze as ice.

/I can't remember if it was actually useful for anything.
 
2022-01-03 8:55:36 PM  
SW Ohio here. I seem to vaguely recall it, but having trouble recalling this "snow" Subby is talking about.
 
2022-01-03 9:29:59 PM  
Once upon a time I looked into the statistics for activities associated with cardiac arrest.  One of the studies had done a particularly thorough job of identifying risky activities.  Shoveling snow was one of the riskiest -- especially early in the season.   The other really risky one was "intercourse with a person not one's spouse".

The obvious explanation being that if you're not accustomed to that much effort/excitement, the sudden cardiac workload can cause problems.

I figure I can live forever by getting accustomed to it.  It doesn't snow here all year round, so I'm getting in as much practice as possible in the other category.
 
2022-01-03 11:14:29 PM  
My younger neighbor usually handles the driveway since I'm an old fart with a bad knee. After the freezing rain on Christmas Day though I sent my son (visiting from NYC) out with the salt bucket to clean things up for us.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2022-01-04 10:45:12 AM  

akya: DecemberNitro: there's no risk of injury

Oh Really?
[i.imgur.com image 274x196]


Fargo reenactments strongly discouraged.
 
Displayed 44 of 44 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.