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(MSN)   Plumber who found the hidden money at Joel Osteen's church to get the $20K reward. Now that's a Royal Flush   (msn.com) divider line
    More: Followup, MSN  
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2436 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Dec 2021 at 6:35 PM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-12-07 6:10:12 PM  
But not in cash, he gets it as coupons he can use to buy prayers.
 
2021-12-07 6:18:29 PM  
I imagine the next few Sunday services will be very well attended... by demolition workers who forgot to leave their sledgehammers at home.
 
2021-12-07 6:21:00 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-07 6:38:13 PM  

Chariset: I imagine the next few Sunday services will be very well attended... by demolition workers who forgot to leave their sledgehammers at home.


Peter Gabriel - Sledgehammer (HD version)
Youtube OJWJE0x7T4Q
 
2021-12-07 6:38:14 PM  
And then he'll find god. In heaven or in Joel's bank.

The house always wins.
 
2021-12-07 6:38:59 PM  
Wait. The church reported the money missing years ago? And it was found in construction, inside the church?

What's the statue of limitations on insurance fraud?
 
2021-12-07 6:39:50 PM  
Thunderbolt and Lightfoot unavailable for comment.
 
2021-12-07 6:40:17 PM  
Dramatic reenactment.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-07 6:41:48 PM  

question_dj: Wait. The church reported the money missing years ago? And it was found in construction, inside the church?

What's the statue of limitations on insurance fraud?


It isn't very effective insurance fraud if you leave the money sitting inside a wall.
 
2021-12-07 6:42:24 PM  

ColonelCathcart: And then he'll find god. In heaven or in Joel's bank.

The house always wins.


Sometimes.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-07 6:45:13 PM  
WHY IS NO ONE IN THE MEDIA TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE CHURCH OVIOUSLY STOLE THE MONEY
 
2021-12-07 6:45:29 PM  
"Lakewood Church said in 2014 it filed an insurance claim to cover the lost donations."

Right, so... It was an insurance scam.
 
2021-12-07 6:45:53 PM  

jmswentzel: WHY IS NO ONE IN THE MEDIA TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE CHURCH OVIOUSLY STOLE THE MONEY


[ItsWhatTheyDo.jpg]
 
2021-12-07 6:46:28 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-07 6:46:31 PM  
Nothing shady about that story at all.
 
2021-12-07 6:47:05 PM  

BretMavrik: Thunderbolt and Lightfoot unavailable for comment.


Did the church get moved to another location?
/great movie
 
2021-12-07 6:49:45 PM  
I'm starting to wonder if Joel Osteen might not be entirely honest.
Maybe the whole "God exists and has supernatural powers" thing was never real either?
What if Noah never built an ark for the animals?
What if Noah never existed??
What if climate change is real???
 
2021-12-07 6:50:49 PM  
Lakewood Church said in 2014 it filed an insurance claim to cover the lost donations. Some of that money has been paid back to the insurance company, the church confirmed to KHOU 11.

media.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2021-12-07 6:51:07 PM  

jmswentzel: WHY IS NO ONE IN THE MEDIA TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE CHURCH OVIOUSLY STOLE THE MONEY


Because everyone knows that the only way churches get money is to steal it from the gullible.  They oviously just don't admit it.
 
2021-12-07 6:54:27 PM  
Joel is soon going to have to answer to a higher power: his insurer.
 
2021-12-07 6:58:23 PM  

Begoggle: I'm starting to wonder if Joel Osteen might not be entirely honest.
Maybe the whole "God exists and has supernatural powers" thing was never real either?
What if Noah never built an ark for the animals?
What if Noah never existed??
What if climate change is real???


What if the tooth fairy is real?
What if the easter bunny is real?
What if walmart has the lowest prices??
What if amazon treats it's workers fairly and will deliver your package tomorrow???
 
2021-12-07 6:58:59 PM  

offacue: But not in cash, he gets it as coupons he can use to buy prayers.


He will get 20,000 dollars worth of buckets of food from Jim Bakker and the rest in miracle spring sink water from Peter Popoff.
 
2021-12-07 7:00:46 PM  
He should have pocketed it all. If Jesus wanted Joel Olestra to have that money than it would have magically teleported back to where it was.
 
2021-12-07 7:01:49 PM  

question_dj: Wait. The church reported the money missing years ago? And it was found in construction, inside the church?

What's the statue of limitations on insurance fraud?


there's a statue?
 
2021-12-07 7:04:38 PM  

offacue: Begoggle: I'm starting to wonder if Joel Osteen might not be entirely honest.
Maybe the whole "God exists and has supernatural powers" thing was never real either?
What if Noah never built an ark for the animals?
What if Noah never existed??
What if climate change is real???

What if the tooth fairy is real?
What if the easter bunny is real?
What if walmart has the lowest prices??
What if amazon treats it's workers fairly and will deliver your package tomorrow???


What if New Kids On the Block were Hangin' Tough?  See, none of this is real
 
2021-12-07 7:08:31 PM  

Nick el Ass: offacue: But not in cash, he gets it as coupons he can use to buy prayers.

He will get 20,000 dollars worth of buckets of food from Jim Bakker and the rest in miracle spring sink water from Peter Popoff.


Mmmmmm........potato soup, my favourite.
 
2021-12-07 7:10:14 PM  

Singleballtheory: "Lakewood Church said in 2014 it filed an insurance claim to cover the lost donations."

Right, so... It was an insurance scam.


Religion and scam go together like pepperoni and pizza
 
2021-12-07 7:11:00 PM  
The lawyer who wrote up the NDA missing from this story probably got paid more.
 
2021-12-07 7:11:48 PM  

Nick el Ass: offacue: But not in cash, he gets it as coupons he can use to buy prayers.

He will get 20,000 dollars worth of buckets of food from Jim Bakker and the rest in miracle spring sink water from Peter Popoff.


That sounds like a punishment in a layer of Hell.
 
2021-12-07 7:14:04 PM  
More like a royal hush, amirite?
 
2021-12-07 7:15:42 PM  
Feels like an inside job by a random employee that probably never felt confident attempting retrieval. The church didn't really profit from the situation.
 
2021-12-07 7:16:09 PM  

Salmon: question_dj: Wait. The church reported the money missing years ago? And it was found in construction, inside the church?

What's the statue of limitations on insurance fraud?

there's a statue?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-07 7:16:10 PM  
A lot of churchgoers are going to be saying "G*ddamnit" when the church deposits all the personal checks that were found with the cash donations, right before Christmas.
 
2021-12-07 7:18:07 PM  

question_dj: Wait. The church reported the money missing years ago? And it was found in construction, inside the church?

What's the statue of limitations on insurance fraud?


Apparently they gave money back to the insurance company
 
2021-12-07 7:18:08 PM  

jmswentzel: WHY IS NO ONE IN THE MEDIA TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE CHURCH OVIOUSLY STOLE THE MONEY


Even all the athiests groups are going out of their way to not talk about it.  While we all know that the most likely, and seemingly plausible explanation is some type of fraud on the part of people working at the megachurch, actaully saying that as a media company is gonna open a huge legal problem, until more facts emerge.  They will emerge though.
 
2021-12-07 7:20:49 PM  

jmswentzel: WHY IS NO ONE IN THE MEDIA TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE CHURCH OVIOUSLY STOLE THE MONEY


And did what with it? Left it in the wall for 7 years? The amount recovered was the amount reported missing.

It sounds like someone stole it, stashed it, and then was otherwise prevented from retrieving it.
 
2021-12-07 7:21:33 PM  

hammettman: Lakewood Church said in 2014 it filed an insurance claim to cover the lost donations. Some of that money has been paid back to the insurance company, the church confirmed to KHOU 11.

[media.giphy.com image 245x285]


Yeah, how did they pull that off?
 
2021-12-07 7:22:57 PM  

Wasilla Hillbilly: Feels like an inside job by a random employee that probably never felt confident attempting retrieval. The church didn't really profit from the situation.


Yes, but then you can't crap on Joel Olsteen without googling one of the million shiatty things he's done.
 
2021-12-07 7:23:24 PM  
When you give money (or 'tithe' as the hucksters call it) here is what you are really giving your money for:

JOEL OSTEEN HOUSE:

Fark user imageView Full Size


JOHN HAGEE HOUSE:

Fark user imageView Full Size


CREFLO DOLLAR HOUSE:

Fark user imageView Full Size


Not to mention their fleet of private jets
 
2021-12-07 7:23:41 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-07 7:25:01 PM  
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the guy had the chance to take home about $200,000 cash from the job if he had just kept his mouth shut?
 
2021-12-07 7:31:14 PM  
Then he which had received the one talent came and said, "Lord, I knew thee that thou art an hard man, reaping where thou hast not sown, and gathering where thou hast not strawed: And I was afraid, and went and hid thy talent in the earth: lo, there thou hast that is thine". His lord answered and said unto him, "Well done, good and faithful servant. Re-bury it. We shall make an insurance claim on this lost talent". He winked, "And in time, we can recover this money without issue, provided no-one else finds it first".
 
2021-12-07 7:34:29 PM  
Sounds to me like an inside job by someone who died/became incapacitated after the job. I mean, the checks are worthless now, but the cash is still good. And the thief couldn't have cashed the checks at the time anyway without being caught. Wonder if it was some maintenance dude planning on an early retirement who just grabbed envelopes & stashed them all, never planning on not being able to retrieve them.

Not by any means an Osteen fan. Just not seeing any benefit to management here.
 
2021-12-07 7:37:40 PM  
Sorry, I'm at a bar and was distracted mid-post by a fellow drunkard, so took too long to post & saw my theory had been covered in the meantime. Apologies!
 
2021-12-07 7:44:23 PM  
Maybe he's a fan of arrested development.

/Always money in the banana stand.
 
2021-12-07 7:47:06 PM  

jmswentzel: WHY IS NO ONE IN THE MEDIA TALKING ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE CHURCH OVIOUSLY STOLE THE MONEY


Why would the church steal the money? It's tax exempt.

Someone who works for the church sure, sure. The church itself? Nah.

It was cash and checks. Probably more of the money in checks. Bigger payments are usually done by check and what good is giving a tithe if Jesus doesn't know who it's from.
 
2021-12-07 7:48:36 PM  
ALL of it is stolen money...The whole thing is a con game.. The whole point is to separate the rubes from their money with a floor show.. That's all it is..A SHOW.. They advertise that the show is free..But they pass the hat and constantly harangue and guilt the audience to subtly to give them money..

Welcome back, my friends
To the show that never ends
We're so glad you could attend!
Come inside! Come inside!
 
2021-12-07 7:57:47 PM  

mrmopar5287: Correct me if I'm wrong, but the guy had the chance to take home about $200,000 cash from the job if he had just kept his mouth shut?


I think most of it was checks. A little harder to cash in. Are the checks still good? Who writes checks any more? (I know, old people). Don't churches know about the iPhone square?
 
2021-12-07 7:57:56 PM  

Salmon: question_dj: Wait. The church reported the money missing years ago? And it was found in construction, inside the church?

What's the statue of limitations on insurance fraud?

there's a statue?


That's a made up word
 
2021-12-07 7:58:34 PM  
FTFA: Lakewood Church said the bathroom where the money was discovered is a public bathroom, but it is a single-use bathroom where you can lock the door. It's meant to be used by parents with children, the church said.

Yeah, farking irrelevant... Oh, like people wouldn't notice some random person OPENING UP A WALL and somehow replastering it.

Thinking about my job, maintenance dudes are always unquestioned. They can go anywhere with pretty much no inquiry as to why.
 
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