Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   "I'm getting married after finding my soul mate following a disastrous first marriage. I found a perfect white dress, but my future mother-in-law is outraged I'm going to wear white because it's not my first marriage. Can I tell her to fark off?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Interfaith counselors, Q. Unsure, white dress, interfaith marriage, good size, social media, Letter writer, Q. Re  
•       •       •

357 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 07 Dec 2021 at 10:55 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



42 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-12-07 7:23:04 AM  
I think you'd better.
 
2021-12-07 7:31:46 AM  
Yes. Might as well get this started off right. If you if you let her have her way now she'll have it forever.
 
2021-12-07 7:36:05 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-07 7:48:25 AM  
Enjoy your disastrous second marriage.
 
2021-12-07 7:58:09 AM  
Yes.
 
2021-12-07 8:03:44 AM  
People who worry about things like the correct color for a wedding dress are almost as laughably stupid as people who believe that Slate advice letters are real and respond to them accordingly.
 
2021-12-07 8:12:22 AM  
Naked wedding?
 
2021-12-07 8:12:45 AM  
RED FLAG

Soul mate

Wedding hasn't even happened and the grenades are already being lobbed.
 
2021-12-07 8:13:12 AM  

GardenWeasel: Enjoy your disastrous second marriage.


Yeah, the after being harangued by his mother for about a month with an unreasonable request, he asked his future wife if she couldn't just do what his mother wants for the sake of peace. I'm sure all kinds of fun times are in their future.
 
2021-12-07 8:20:20 AM  

Martian_Astronomer: GardenWeasel: Enjoy your disastrous second marriage.

Yeah, the after being harangued by his mother for about a month with an unreasonable request, he asked his future wife if she couldn't just do what his mother wants for the sake of peace. I'm sure all kinds of fun times are in their future.


Him and his wife, or him and his mother?
 
2021-12-07 8:22:47 AM  
"Soulmate" asking you to appease his mother?

So by "Soulmate" do you mean rich or hung?
 
2021-12-07 9:03:06 AM  
So if I was a mother of a son, I wouldn't want his bride to wear anything but white. Does she want everybody to know her son is marrying a whore?
 
2021-12-07 9:12:17 AM  

WTFDYW: Yes. Might as well get this started off right. If you if you let her have her way now she'll have it forever.


Amen to this. My MIL is a nightmare, but I tried to be nice to her early on. It just empowered her and she's tried to run over me ever since.

She did the same to my idiot brother-in-law when he married wifey's sister and she made his life hell.

But then my asshole brother-in-law (wifey's brother) married a real harpy who immediately set strict boundaries and stopped the old witch in her tracks.

Set boundaries from the start or you'll never be free.
 
2021-12-07 9:18:46 AM  
Compromise. Start with the white dress then change its colour.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-07 9:48:17 AM  

GardenWeasel: Enjoy your disastrous second marriage.


Yep. If you don't know the answer to your own question immediately and have to ask the internet for help... you're farked.

Third time is a charm for you sweetheart.

// butt stuff
 
2021-12-07 10:24:17 AM  
How about getting "Mom" to wear tinted lenses?
 
2021-12-07 10:33:18 AM  
It's cute how we pretend first marriage = virgin.
 
2021-12-07 10:39:04 AM  
My second Mother-in-Law has the same problem.  She shut her yammering piehole pretty quick when she saw me on the altar saying "I Do and I DID" to her dear Lil' Sonsy Onesy in my custom-made Vera Wangtoomany Scarlet Letter Bridal Streetwalker Ensemble.
 
2021-12-07 10:49:25 AM  

MrBallou: Set boundaries from the start or you'll never be free.


I wrote off a ton of relatives over politics recently.
They all have the same bitter take on it.

It's about money, they think.

Like they had a chance even if I liked them
 
2021-12-07 10:51:00 AM  
I'm mrs Baka's second husband
My mom helped her pick out her white dress

Tell you future skank in law to fark off
 
2021-12-07 11:09:57 AM  
Tell her it's a nice day for a white wedding.  It's a nice day to start again.
 
2021-12-07 11:20:45 AM  
To our wives and girlfriends... may they never meet

Bigamy is having one wife too many...monogamy is the same thing.


Just some ideas for the wedding toast...
 
2021-12-07 11:20:54 AM  
Not worth the click.
 
2021-12-07 11:20:56 AM  

Pocket Ninja: People who worry about things like the correct color for a wedding dress are almost as laughably stupid as people who believe that Slate advice letters are real and respond to them accordingly.


Eh, I don't care if they're fake. If I want to comment on the situation as described, I'll post my comment, much as I might post, in a different thread, a comment about the fictional television series Better Call Saul. Just popping in with a "FAKE!" seems rather pointless.

What I do object to is lazy, low-effort fake letters. If these people want me to invest a couple of minutes into reading what they've written, they should feel obliged to put some effort into it. Well, I mean, they all too often don't, but they should.
 
2021-12-07 11:21:14 AM  
I don't know. Can you?
 
2021-12-07 11:22:50 AM  
Get out. Now. If he's not up to the task of checking his mother's overstepping their marital boundaries now he never will be.
 
2021-12-07 11:25:02 AM  
1) Mother-in-Law, The Worst Person I Know: Tell her to STFU and GTHOI.  As you appear to have seen, this also seems like someone attempting to assert control over things they should not have control over, so it's doubly important to stand your ground here or it will leak into your relationship later.

2) No Alarms And No Surprises (Get Me Out Of Here): I swear we've had this before and not long ago about family visiting the single person with the loft.  I tend to roll these back to the original sin, which was surprise babysitting.  You don't just assume, especially with a baby less than a year old, someone can watch the kid.  That must be negotiated.  Tell them to STFU and GTHOI.

3) Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes.  Turn And Face The Strange: So I'm going to point one thing out here.  I assume this list went to multiple people.  Which means if you found it, then others can.  Normally, I would say STFU until they come out to you.  They may have unintentionally outed themselves so for fark's sake tell them so they can go mark it private.  Be highly supportive, but make sure they know the info is visible.

4) She Can't Help It, She's Comin' Of Age: I appreciate the thought of being fair.  Puts you above some of my extended family.  Anyway, I actually agree with Prudie.  I wouldn't necessarily earmark for a specific birthday, but have it ready for around that age for something important.  Maybe sweet 16 would be desired in one instance and something else for another.  Plan for flexibility.

5) I Don't Know What Dreams Have Meaning, Just That They're Of You: As Prudie said, it won't be the last time.  Probably not the worst time, either.  But honestly, I'd say STFU and MYOB.

2a) No Surprises II: Oh do FRO.  Shifting the burden from the parents to the host.  GFY.
 
2021-12-07 11:25:52 AM  
Honey, if you're over 18 you can pretty much tell anyone to fark off...
 
2021-12-07 11:28:57 AM  

Circusdog320: To our wives and girlfriends... may they never meet

Bigamy is having one wife too many...monogamy is the same thing.

Just some ideas for the wedding toast...


Here's champaign for my real friends.  Real pain for my sham friends.

More ideas here:

The Farewell Toast
Youtube j6LWVcyM_jM
 
2021-12-07 11:43:07 AM  
Yes.  There are lots of archaic, pointless traditions involving weddings.

Weddings are one of them.
 
2021-12-07 11:50:55 AM  
Help, I was born without a spine
 
2021-12-07 11:51:33 AM  
More importantly, what the heck is a nibbling?
 
2021-12-07 12:15:54 PM  

Circusdog320: RED FLAG

Soul mate


I searched the article for this, but "soul mate" is all on Subby. My take:

1. The MIL is correct, white is traditionally for first weddings only.
2. However, it's Your Day™, Electric Boogaloo, so do whatever you want.
3. You're going to need to decide how to handle disagreements with your new MIL or you're gonna have problems.
 
2021-12-07 12:23:37 PM  
Elope.  Simple as that.  You're marrying him, not his family.  Weddings are much, much happier when they are uncontaminated by relatives.

When you get back, block her phone number.  If she persists, give her a video of her son smashing your back door on honeymoon.

My MIL is the best - she's dead.  I made sure that evil biatch was buried face down in case she tried to dig her way out.
 
2021-12-07 12:51:01 PM  
It ain't the 1920's no more. All white signifies at a wedding is "I'm the bride!"

Seriously, who could rationally expect the bride or groom to be a virgin outside a few repressive xian churches?
 
2021-12-07 3:49:09 PM  
Threeway and then check again.
 
2021-12-07 4:30:14 PM  
Why hasn't the fiance handled this?  Big red flag.  Get out before the wedding unless his mother is on her deathbed.
 
2021-12-07 4:55:17 PM  

Combustion: Honey, if you're over 18 you can pretty much tell anyone to fark off...


Or under.
 
2021-12-07 6:15:12 PM  
Pocket Ninja:

Or like people who listen to pocket ninja
 
2021-12-07 7:56:12 PM  

MrBallou: WTFDYW: Yes. Might as well get this started off right. If you if you let her have her way now she'll have it forever.

Amen to this. My MIL is a nightmare, but I tried to be nice to her early on. It just empowered her and she's tried to run over me ever since.

She did the same to my idiot brother-in-law when he married wifey's sister and she made his life hell.

But then my asshole brother-in-law (wifey's brother) married a real harpy who immediately set strict boundaries and stopped the old witch in her tracks.

Set boundaries from the start or you'll never be free.


Wow, it sounds like you hate everyone. You know the old saying, run into one asshole a day and that's a shame. Run into a bunch of assholes each day and you might actually be the asshole.
 
2021-12-07 10:40:44 PM  
Uhh, pretty sure white originally had nothing to do with virginity. A queen or something got a white wedding dress because white was expensive, and here we are.

Then patriarchy showed up.

/feel free to correct me
 
2021-12-08 5:53:18 AM  

Big_Doofus: MrBallou: WTFDYW: Yes. Might as well get this started off right. If you if you let her have her way now she'll have it forever.

Amen to this. My MIL is a nightmare, but I tried to be nice to her early on. It just empowered her and she's tried to run over me ever since.

She did the same to my idiot brother-in-law when he married wifey's sister and she made his life hell.

But then my asshole brother-in-law (wifey's brother) married a real harpy who immediately set strict boundaries and stopped the old witch in her tracks.

Set boundaries from the start or you'll never be free.

Wow, it sounds like you hate everyone. You know the old saying, run into one asshole a day and that's a shame. Run into a bunch of assholes each day and you might actually be the asshole.


OK, you just made the list, buddy.
 
Displayed 42 of 42 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.