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(Slate)   "I was using my grandpa's phone, did some looking into it, and found out he's cheating. Do I report this?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Family, 17-year-old girl, wise 17-year-old, 2-year-old son, 14-year-old stepdaughter, husband's parents, different time, first marriage  
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302 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 06 Dec 2021 at 10:05 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



20 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-12-06 7:08:39 AM  
Depends.
You like dentures, too?

/gramps
 
2021-12-06 8:20:09 AM  
Any question that includes variations on both "Should I" & "I was snooping", the answer the vast, vast majority of the time is a simple "No".

For all she knows, grandma has totally shut him off & told him to go find his tail elsewhere.  Other people's marriage and how they conduct it is almost never your business

/evidence of child porn being one of the few exceptions
//DRTFA
 
2021-12-06 9:25:42 AM  
Did he have any pics of elephant skin rugs on there?
 
2021-12-06 10:06:12 AM  
Haha, that's what you get for snooping.  Now hold onto it, forever.
 
2021-12-06 10:23:46 AM  
No you nosey f*cker. Give him back his phone and shut your snooping mouth.
 
2021-12-06 10:27:58 AM  
Tell me who that g-d trollop is, right now!
 
2021-12-06 10:29:31 AM  
How did you find that out from a rotary phone??
 
2021-12-06 10:33:24 AM  
1) It's none of your business

2) Grandpa might be getting his end away with another woman out of a total lack of action at home

3) Who says grandma isn't at it too?

4) A good way to get yourself cut out of two wills

5) I suppose your own phone is squeaky clean, is it?

6) At long as he doesn't hurt grandma, go on, you horny old goat, nice one

Now

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2021-12-06 10:36:02 AM  
What kind of a shiatty lowlife borrows someone else's phone and then snoops into their histories?
 
2021-12-06 10:41:44 AM  

Recoil Therapy: For all she knows, grandma has totally shut him off & told him to go find his tail elsewhere.  Other people's marriage and how they conduct it is almost never your business


Or it's nothing at all and the kid is reading waaaay to far into what she read - from what the kid wrote, she didn't find dirty pictures, or sex talk, or protestations of guilt by Grandpa. She saw "darling," "miss you," "love you," and cetera.

If someone were to read through my texts with a particular friend/coworker without proper context, they'd see a lot of "sweetie"s and "love you," "love you too"s "miss you" and such and might get the wrong idea. But it's part ballbreaking and part genuine brotherly love. My wife is amused to no end that we sign off phone calls with "love you," "love you too."

Who knows what dynamic Gramp has with his friend - brother/sister, true best friend.  Maybe his retired mechanic friend has no sexual interest in men at all. Or maybe he's been cheating on Gram for decades. I just wouldn't jump to that conclusion based on what the kid describes seeing, it may just be a 17 year old not understanding the nuance of a truly loving but completely platonic friendship between adults.
 
2021-12-06 10:44:26 AM  
Relationships are very complicated.  MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
 
2021-12-06 11:31:19 AM  
NO!!! and I hope he beats you senseless
 
2021-12-06 12:18:53 PM  
I'll be devil's advocate here. Everyone is saying snooping? The message popped up while the kid was using the phone, they didn't go looking for it. If gramps doesn't want people being aware of his business, don't hand her his farking business!

Relationships are complicated, yes. A 17 year old can understand that. Strange that so many people apparently feel they are not allowed to ask their family members personal questions as if THAT relationship isn't also an important one to maintain. If they have an open relationship or whatever, great, why can't that be an answer for a 17 year old who is feeling confused? Better than your grandchild making up their own answers about your integrity/character and drifting away. I'd want the chance to explain myself.

/i understand that I'm one of the few non-grandparents on fark nowadays so the answers may be biased
 
2021-12-06 1:29:35 PM  

Electromax: I'll be devil's advocate here. Everyone is saying snooping? The message popped up while the kid was using the phone, they didn't go looking for it. If gramps doesn't want people being aware of his business, don't hand her his farking business!

Relationships are complicated, yes. A 17 year old can understand that. Strange that so many people apparently feel they are not allowed to ask their family members personal questions as if THAT relationship isn't also an important one to maintain. If they have an open relationship or whatever, great, why can't that be an answer for a 17 year old who is feeling confused? Better than your grandchild making up their own answers about your integrity/character and drifting away. I'd want the chance to explain myself.

/i understand that I'm one of the few non-grandparents on fark nowadays so the answers may be biased


Perhaps she should ask grandpa instead of jumping to asking a third party.
 
2021-12-06 2:23:30 PM  
you give him a high five and STFU.
 
2021-12-06 2:39:45 PM  
For the health and safety of your loved ones, urge Grandma and Grandpa to get STI, STD tests
 
2021-12-06 5:57:42 PM  

Electromax: I'll be devil's advocate here. Everyone is saying snooping? The message popped up while the kid was using the phone, they didn't go looking for it. If gramps doesn't want people being aware of his business, don't hand her his farking business


So I invite you to my house and you use the bathroom. If I leave, say, athlete's foot spray on the back of the toilet you didn't snoop.  If you get curious and decide to go into the medicine cabinet to see what other problems I have on top of gross fungus, now you're snooping. Likewise, if I let you borrow my phone to look at some photos and you swipe too far and see an obviously private picture, you didn't snoop. If you continue to swipe in hopes of finding more, you're snooping.

And the kid from the article had an incidental and innocent viewing of an incoming text message, and got curious because "darling" seemed a little weird for friends, and scrolled through the entire text thread. That's snooping. If she had minded her own business after that incidental text, she'd have had much less insight into how Grandpa and his friend speak to each other and she'd have less headache about "what to do."
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2021-12-06 6:22:39 PM  
Upset he's getting more than you?
 
2021-12-06 6:40:23 PM  

Electromax: Strange that so many people apparently feel they are not allowed to ask their family members personal questions as if THAT relationship isn't also an important one to maintain.


True

If they have an open relationship or whatever, great, why can't that be an answer for a 17 year old who is feeling confused?

"You 'really' want to know details about your grandmother & my sex life?  I can tell you, but think about it because I can never untell you.  However she knows all about this & you can confirm that with her if you don't believe me..."

Better than your grandchild making up their own answers about your integrity/character and drifting away. I'd want the chance to explain myself.

Also true.
 
2021-12-07 7:26:10 AM  
dear slatehouse forum,

i dont usually read or write these sorts of letters but i recently had an experience so gruesomely unsettling i just had to tell you about it...
 
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