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(Slate)   "The girl I bullied in high school is taking her revenge on my children. Can I stop it or make it right?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Family, WANT, Need, Marriage, Love, If You Have to Ask, Lebanon, Tennessee, class mother  
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1893 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 06 Dec 2021 at 6:05 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-12-05 10:50:19 PM  
Actions have consequences
 
2021-12-05 10:54:56 PM  
10/10 epic karma revenge fantasy, I laughed, I cried, would read again.
 
2021-12-05 10:57:06 PM  
What goes around comes around.
 
2021-12-05 11:03:50 PM  
I don't believe her. I don't really believe any of the letters though but I believe this one even less.
 
2021-12-05 11:04:50 PM  
No. FA,FO.
 
2021-12-05 11:06:11 PM  
This is how blood feuds start.

If the teacher has kids, she might as well put them in witness protection.
 
2021-12-05 11:16:10 PM  
i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-12-05 11:16:19 PM  
Or you could try acting like an adult and ask your victim if there's any basis in reality for your fears and assumptions. And then *gasp* have a conversation like adults, which starts with your genuine and heartfelt apology and includes you accepting blame for your actions. Or, you know, write an anonymous letter to an advice columnist and let your children suffer for weeks and weeks while you hide and hope for a response. High school drama was supposed to end in high school, you narcissistic Karen.
 
2021-12-05 11:19:46 PM  
do high school "mean girls" EVER mature into kind, thoughtful, selfless adults? i've not seen any evidence of that.

and this lady claims to not even remember the specifics of how she hurt others, so how can we know she's changed? and if she's STILL a big ball of ego and spite perhaps her kids are taking after her? perhaps her kids are jerks and bullies? perhaps they deserve to be shunned and teased?

and how can mom say "I enrolled my two boys into an exclusive private school in our new hometown" AND "putting my boys into another school is not a feasible option."

ok, this is a new "hometown" meaning it was freak bad luck to run into her now grown up victim. why not stick the boys in the local public school for a year? you'll know nobody! or homeschool them for a year.

kids are resilient, they could handle a year of public school. but it seems like mommy couldn't handle the "shame" of telling her friends they don't attend Big Name Exclusive private school anymore....
 
2021-12-05 11:31:16 PM  
Bullied girl is gonna Fark the bully's husband next, lol
 
2021-12-05 11:33:08 PM  

Notabunny: Or you could try acting like an adult and ask your victim if there's any basis in reality for your fears and assumptions. And then *gasp* have a conversation like adults, which starts with your genuine and heartfelt apology and includes you accepting blame for your actions. Or, you know, write an anonymous letter to an advice columnist and let your children suffer for weeks and weeks while you hide and hope for a response. High school drama was supposed to end in high school, you narcissistic Karen.


She did try to have that conversation.

"I asked to meet my former classmate and apologized for bullying her as I was young and stupid, although I don't much remember what I did. She smiled at me in a creepy way and said she went through therapy for what I put her through.."

She wasn't forgiven and now her innocent kids are suffering for it. People do change, hopefully for the better. We don't have both sides of the story, but the other mother has, for all appearances, become a bully herself, not only to this woman, but also to her children.
 
2021-12-05 11:34:58 PM  

luna1580: do high school "mean girls" EVER mature into kind, thoughtful, selfless adults? i've not seen any evidence of that.


In contrast, there is a mountain of evidence showing those girls become Facebook sellers of random cosmetic products like lip gloss or weird nail polish.
 
2021-12-05 11:37:01 PM  
Wow, so she's no better than the bully ultimately. That's pretty much dead on for the human condition.
 
2021-12-05 11:49:59 PM  

Wendigogo: Notabunny: Or you could try acting like an adult and ask your victim if there's any basis in reality for your fears and assumptions. And then *gasp* have a conversation like adults, which starts with your genuine and heartfelt apology and includes you accepting blame for your actions. Or, you know, write an anonymous letter to an advice columnist and let your children suffer for weeks and weeks while you hide and hope for a response. High school drama was supposed to end in high school, you narcissistic Karen.

She did try to have that conversation.

"I asked to meet my former classmate and apologized for bullying her as I was young and stupid, although I don't much remember what I did. She smiled at me in a creepy way and said she went through therapy for what I put her through.."

She wasn't forgiven and now her innocent kids are suffering for it. People do change, hopefully for the better. We don't have both sides of the story, but the other mother has, for all appearances, become a bully herself, not only to this woman, but also to her children.


Yeah, we have far from all the information. But I have little patience for adults who don't stand up for kids. And my jaded mind imagined the letter writer giving only one halfhearted attempt and then giving up at the first sign of rejection. The letter writer's focus needs to be on her kids, and not her own hurt fee-fees. And now is a good time to practice, because she's going to be called on to stand up for her kids for years to come. Yes, she may need to involve school authorities. But her job is to put out a reasonable effort first.
 
2021-12-05 11:58:32 PM  

Notabunny: Wendigogo: Notabunny: Or you could try acting like an adult and ask your victim if there's any basis in reality for your fears and assumptions. And then *gasp* have a conversation like adults, which starts with your genuine and heartfelt apology and includes you accepting blame for your actions. Or, you know, write an anonymous letter to an advice columnist and let your children suffer for weeks and weeks while you hide and hope for a response. High school drama was supposed to end in high school, you narcissistic Karen.

She did try to have that conversation.

"I asked to meet my former classmate and apologized for bullying her as I was young and stupid, although I don't much remember what I did. She smiled at me in a creepy way and said she went through therapy for what I put her through.."

She wasn't forgiven and now her innocent kids are suffering for it. People do change, hopefully for the better. We don't have both sides of the story, but the other mother has, for all appearances, become a bully herself, not only to this woman, but also to her children.

Yeah, we have far from all the information. But I have little patience for adults who don't stand up for kids. And my jaded mind imagined the letter writer giving only one halfhearted attempt and then giving up at the first sign of rejection. The letter writer's focus needs to be on her kids, and not her own hurt fee-fees. And now is a good time to practice, because she's going to be called on to stand up for her kids for years to come. Yes, she may need to involve school authorities. But her job is to put out a reasonable effort first.


True. Considering her embarrassment and shame expressed, it is very possible she remembers more than she lets on. Maybe it would help to have another conversation with a mediator present.

Speaking of standing up for kids- this once bullied woman is now picking on someone else's children, possibly causing them the kind of harm she knows all too well. Pretty farked up and rather Dickensian. Pisses me off.
 
2021-12-06 12:05:32 AM  

Wendigogo: Notabunny: Wendigogo: Notabunny: Or you could try acting like an adult and ask your victim if there's any basis in reality for your fears and assumptions. And then *gasp* have a conversation like adults, which starts with your genuine and heartfelt apology and includes you accepting blame for your actions. Or, you know, write an anonymous letter to an advice columnist and let your children suffer for weeks and weeks while you hide and hope for a response. High school drama was supposed to end in high school, you narcissistic Karen.

She did try to have that conversation.

"I asked to meet my former classmate and apologized for bullying her as I was young and stupid, although I don't much remember what I did. She smiled at me in a creepy way and said she went through therapy for what I put her through.."

She wasn't forgiven and now her innocent kids are suffering for it. People do change, hopefully for the better. We don't have both sides of the story, but the other mother has, for all appearances, become a bully herself, not only to this woman, but also to her children.

Yeah, we have far from all the information. But I have little patience for adults who don't stand up for kids. And my jaded mind imagined the letter writer giving only one halfhearted attempt and then giving up at the first sign of rejection. The letter writer's focus needs to be on her kids, and not her own hurt fee-fees. And now is a good time to practice, because she's going to be called on to stand up for her kids for years to come. Yes, she may need to involve school authorities. But her job is to put out a reasonable effort first.

True. Considering her embarrassment and shame expressed, it is very possible she remembers more than she lets on. Maybe it would help to have another conversation with a mediator present.

Speaking of standing up for kids- this once bullied woman is now picking on someone else's children, possibly causing them the kind of harm she knows all too well. Pretty farked ...


It sounds like a flaming train wreck. As was suggested upthread, I can imaging a scenario where moving the kids to another school might be necessary
 
2021-12-06 1:29:57 AM  

Lorelle: What goes around comes around.


But no!  Prudie's answer is "...boy does she need more therapy."  The letter writer is such a psychopath that she doesn't even remember her bullying.  It was such a non-event that she can't grasp what she did.

Also, please note the "exclusive private school" and "Putting my boys into another school is not a feasible option..."  Public school isn't an option, you absolute sewer of a human being?  Your crotch fruit have to be at the exclusive private school.  I don't usually wish ill on fictional letter writers often but I wish you could be dipped in Gravy Train and thrown to a pack of rabid, hunger-starved chihuahuas.
 
2021-12-06 1:40:38 AM  
Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think taking out your past grievances on innocent third parties is good or justified
 
2021-12-06 1:43:54 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-06 2:13:29 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-06 2:14:55 AM  
I'm gonna guess this woman is a Trumper juuuust based on the "absolutely not an option" part.
 
2021-12-06 2:32:27 AM  

cretinbob: Actions have consequences


This didn't happen.

"I won't play hockey with you because my mom thinks your mom is a b*tch."
Wut are they on about?

F*ck off and die with a spoonful of cinnamon in your mouth!
 
2021-12-06 2:34:22 AM  

Redh8t: cretinbob: Actions have consequences

This didn't happen.

"I won't play hockey with you because my mom thinks your mom is a b*tch."
Wut are they on about?

F*ck off and die with a spoonful of cinnamon in your mouth!


To be clear, I was referring to the letter writer. Not you.
 
2021-12-06 3:50:46 AM  

Redh8t: Redh8t: cretinbob: Actions have consequences

This didn't happen.

"I won't play hockey with you because my mom thinks your mom is a b*tch."
Wut are they on about?

F*ck off and die with a spoonful of cinnamon in your mouth!

To be clear, I was referring to the letter writer. Not you.


Nah, I got it
I think these have been proven to be all fake
 
2021-12-06 4:47:10 AM  

JerseyTim: Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think taking out your past grievances on innocent third parties is good or justified


Well, well, if it isn't Mr. I-don't-think-the-sins-of-a-parent-sho​uld-be-revisited-on-their-child.  Rarely has a username NOT checked out so vehemently.

\WWSS
\\What Would Snooki Say?
 
2021-12-06 6:20:24 AM  
Karma is not forced. Are you guys serious?

Nor is adults acting out in the same way as children acceptable. But hey, welcome to fark.
 
2021-12-06 6:22:26 AM  
If you were willing to bully her in school, perhaps you should try beating her ass as an adult.

/don't actually do this
 
2021-12-06 6:41:13 AM  
One of these days, Prudie, a Hollywood producer will want to make an after school special out of one of your stories. Or maybe a reality TV show (don't worry, they'll find your characters for you). 'Til then, keep up the creative writing and whatever your day job is...
 
2021-12-06 6:54:16 AM  
I think there is a documentary on this out there somewhere.
 
2021-12-06 6:56:44 AM  

cretinbob: Actions have consequences


An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind
 
2021-12-06 7:22:24 AM  
They both sound awful. I vote for a mud wrestling match.
 
2021-12-06 7:25:13 AM  

Madison_Smiled: They both sound awful. I vote for a mud wrestling match.


Guess that will have to do, being dueling is out.
 
2021-12-06 7:26:24 AM  
FAFO....
 
2021-12-06 7:38:22 AM  
She could steer her kids towards the school shooting response.

/Too soon? Definitely.
 
2021-12-06 7:42:21 AM  
While I don't wish death on anyone, there are certain people from high school whose obituaries I will read with a lot of popcorn.
 
2021-12-06 7:44:10 AM  
Then the two of you need to get in touch with the school administration and get this issue addressed. They should take immediate steps to stop the bullying of your sons.

Lolno.
 
2021-12-06 7:44:28 AM  
I enrolled my two boys into an exclusive private school in our new hometown. At a school event I bumped into an attractive woman whom I didn't recognize.

And that is a VERY weird choice of words. It seems completely unnatural to include that.

/ and it's "who," not "whom"
 
2021-12-06 7:46:12 AM  

bostonguy: I enrolled my two boys into an exclusive private school in our new hometown. At a school event I bumped into an attractive woman whom I didn't recognize.

And that is a VERY weird choice of words. It seems completely unnatural to include that.

/ and it's "who," not "whom"


The other woman (when she was a girl) was probably "ugly" and tormented for it.
 
2021-12-06 7:51:30 AM  
Jello wrestling.

Unless you're both dogs then nevermind.
 
2021-12-06 7:56:57 AM  

xanadian: bostonguy: I enrolled my two boys into an exclusive private school in our new hometown. At a school event I bumped into an attractive woman whom I didn't recognize.

And that is a VERY weird choice of words. It seems completely unnatural to include that.

/ and it's "who," not "whom"

The other woman (when she was a girl) was probably "ugly" and tormented for it.


Most likely this.  The teacher was the smart, nerdy type tormented by the queen bee.  The queen bee is not telling the whole truth.  I bet she remembers everything but is too ashamed to tell Prudie.

/The teacher is wrong for contributing to environment of bullying against the boys.
//The teacher should break the cycle and stop the treatment against the boys.
///The mother is not really sorry for what she did, she is sorry that her actions are causing her boys to be shunned.
 
2021-12-06 7:57:11 AM  

Notabunny: Or you could try acting like an adult and ask your victim if there's any basis in reality for your fears and assumptions. And then *gasp* have a conversation like adults, which starts with your genuine and heartfelt apology and includes you accepting blame for your actions. Or, you know, write an anonymous letter to an advice columnist and let your children suffer for weeks and weeks while you hide and hope for a response. High school drama was supposed to end in high school, you narcissistic Karen.


As the great poets, Bowling For Soup, once said, "Highschool never ends."
 
2021-12-06 7:59:47 AM  
This is all a result of trying to make "fetch" happen, you know.
 
2021-12-06 7:59:57 AM  

AppleOptionEsc: Notabunny: Or you could try acting like an adult and ask your victim if there's any basis in reality for your fears and assumptions. And then *gasp* have a conversation like adults, which starts with your genuine and heartfelt apology and includes you accepting blame for your actions. Or, you know, write an anonymous letter to an advice columnist and let your children suffer for weeks and weeks while you hide and hope for a response. High school drama was supposed to end in high school, you narcissistic Karen.

As the great poets, Bowling For Soup, once said, "Highschool never ends."


You can't peak in high school if you never went in the first place.
 
2021-12-06 8:25:38 AM  
"You forgot the first rule of the fanatic: when you become obsessed with the enemy, you become the enemy." - Sinclair, "Babylon 5", via JMS

She's dealing with a fanatic.
 
2021-12-06 8:29:52 AM  
Living in a small town with multi-generation families, we see this kind of thing a lot. But the thing is, if Mom was a mean biatch in high school, odds are that the spawn will be also. And will get away with it because they have the right last name.

The good thing about not being one of those families is that I was able to tell my kids that all of their achievements in school or town or sports were due to their own hard work. The kids with the right last names cannot say the same thing.  There is a small town where our family name would have given them privileges, but we don't live in it, and in this one our name did nothing for them. They are much better humans because of this.
 
2021-12-06 8:47:33 AM  

luna1580: do high school "mean girls" EVER mature into kind, thoughtful, selfless adults? i've not seen any evidence of that.


They turn into the inspiration for this book:

images-na.ssl-images-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2021-12-06 8:59:38 AM  
she is overlooking the possibility that the kids' teacher isn't doing anything and the reason they are saying "my mom says your mom is a biatch" is because she is.
 
2021-12-06 9:01:05 AM  

misantropo: xanadian: bostonguy: I enrolled my two boys into an exclusive private school in our new hometown. At a school event I bumped into an attractive woman whom I didn't recognize.

And that is a VERY weird choice of words. It seems completely unnatural to include that.

/ and it's "who," not "whom"

The other woman (when she was a girl) was probably "ugly" and tormented for it.

Most likely this.  The teacher was the smart, nerdy type tormented by the queen bee.  The queen bee is not telling the whole truth.  I bet she remembers everything but is too ashamed to tell Prudie.

/The teacher is wrong for contributing to environment of bullying against the boys.
//The teacher should break the cycle and stop the treatment against the boys.
///The mother is not really sorry for what she did, she is sorry that her actions are causing her boys to be shunned.


I don't think the victim turned bully is the teacher. I think she's a mom well established in the school community and therefore able to steer public opinion against the new people.
 
2021-12-06 9:12:11 AM  

Redh8t: cretinbob: Actions have consequences

This didn't happen.

"I won't play hockey with you because my mom thinks your mom is a b*tch."
Wut are they on about?

F*ck off and die with a spoonful of cinnamon in your mouth!


I have never in my life heard of kids towing the line this firmly.  The other kids telling them that their parents think their mom is a biatch: sure, that I can see.  Mostly because it'd be hilarious at age 10.  Actually following through with ostracizing them?  Nah, that's weird even in fiction.
 
2021-12-06 9:22:10 AM  
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