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(Twitter)   Are you in trouble? You forgot to do something you were said you'd do and now you're in the dog house? When the going gets tough, the tough go cake decorating   (twitter.com) divider line
    More: Sappy, shot  
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664 clicks; posted to Food » on 05 Dec 2021 at 2:50 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



21 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-12-05 12:47:24 PM  
Original Tweet:

 
2021-12-05 3:56:40 PM  
Is subby halfway through his second rum cake?
 
2021-12-05 4:19:05 PM  
It's as easy as pie.
 
2021-12-05 4:25:12 PM  
Ugh.  Basketweave.

/took Wilton 1 through 3 about 15+ years ago
//had agreed to make a wedding cake for a friend
///the bride insisted she just wanted a 'plain white cake'
////which changed into '150 cupcakes with a rose on each one'
//found a place to buy the damned roses
 
2021-12-05 6:05:29 PM  
When a cake is that fancy I feel bad about cutting it. Since I don't want to make my cake recipient feel hesitant about enjoying it, even just for a second, All my cakes get a simple buttercream frosting. No one has ever complained. A cake should yearn to be cut.
 
2021-12-05 6:13:14 PM  

Oneiros: Ugh.  Basketweave.

/took Wilton 1 through 3 about 15+ years ago
//had agreed to make a wedding cake for a friend
///the bride insisted she just wanted a 'plain white cake'
////which changed into '150 cupcakes with a rose on each one'
//found a place to buy the damned roses


Ahhh help a friend, friend gets needy, friend changes agreement, friend gets angry, cave to friend to avoid confrontation, carry on with changes, make second request, lose money, time, half ass effort due to lack of skill, delivery product.  Friend gives terrible review on your non existent bakery Google site and you're still not the professional they hired to save a buck
 
2021-12-05 6:13:17 PM  

Irisclara: . A cake should yearn to be cut.


So make them all look like cute gals?
 
2021-12-05 7:12:04 PM  
NSFW

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-05 7:12:06 PM  
Sorcery. Baking and I do not agree with eachother.
 
2021-12-05 7:23:53 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-05 7:24:34 PM  
I hope they smoked a cig before doing that.  When I was young I worked as a baker and the older bakers always told me that the smoke smell on their fingers made the bread taste better.  Now that I'm older, I'm pretty sure that was just an excuse for them not to wash their hands after a smoke break...

/enjoy your bread
 
2021-12-05 7:35:29 PM  

The Red Zone: Oneiros: Ugh.  Basketweave.

/took Wilton 1 through 3 about 15+ years ago
//had agreed to make a wedding cake for a friend
///the bride insisted she just wanted a 'plain white cake'
////which changed into '150 cupcakes with a rose on each one'
//found a place to buy the damned roses

Ahhh help a friend, friend gets needy, friend changes agreement, friend gets angry, cave to friend to avoid confrontation, carry on with changes, make second request, lose money, time, half ass effort due to lack of skill, delivery product.  Friend gives terrible review on your non existent bakery Google site and you're still not the professional they hired to save a buck


Half ass effort due to lack of skill?

Hell no, I make a full ass effort due to lack of skill, especially when I know it's likely to end badly, to show why it was such a bad idea.

Here's an example of my cake decorating skills, after having half-assed it the year before (didn't do any test work ahead of time, so only had once chance to get it right), and I lost to a jello mold:

Science as Food: Erupting Sun Cake
Youtube aTgzWco1T0k


For some reason, the color on the video is overly red.  The color of the cake is closer to the still image at the end (which might be a touch too yellow). I had matched the SOHO 304Å color table.

I know I've seen pictures of the cake from the previous year on the internet, when someone had made a list of the 10 best sun as a cake, and they had both of my entries in there.

Oh, and it wasn't my friend who changed things-- I specifically said 'the bride', who there's also footage of, as she ended up being on what became the pilot for 'bridezillas' when she was upset that the church was running behind on her special day (because no one else would think to have their wedding on Valentine's Day in Las Vegas), as she's on the phone telling the groom to just take the van and smash into the building.

/while this was going on, a group of us still in Maryland were watching Saving Silverman
//after the movie ended, I said 'we could've done more to save Glenn'
///the reception wasn't until a few weeks later
////specifically, the day after I had gotten home on a red eye flight after 4 days of conferences and a day of skiing/falling to kill time before my flight
 
2021-12-05 7:47:51 PM  

Oneiros: The Red Zone: Oneiros: Ugh.  Basketweave.

/took Wilton 1 through 3 about 15+ years ago
//had agreed to make a wedding cake for a friend
///the bride insisted she just wanted a 'plain white cake'
////which changed into '150 cupcakes with a rose on each one'
//found a place to buy the damned roses

Ahhh help a friend, friend gets needy, friend changes agreement, friend gets angry, cave to friend to avoid confrontation, carry on with changes, make second request, lose money, time, half ass effort due to lack of skill, delivery product.  Friend gives terrible review on your non existent bakery Google site and you're still not the professional they hired to save a buck

Half ass effort due to lack of skill?

Hell no, I make a full ass effort due to lack of skill, especially when I know it's likely to end badly, to show why it was such a bad idea.

Here's an example of my cake decorating skills, after having half-assed it the year before (didn't do any test work ahead of time, so only had once chance to get it right), and I lost to a jello mold:

[YouTube video: Science as Food: Erupting Sun Cake]

For some reason, the color on the video is overly red.  The color of the cake is closer to the still image at the end (which might be a touch too yellow). I had matched the SOHO 304Å color table.

I know I've seen pictures of the cake from the previous year on the internet, when someone had made a list of the 10 best sun as a cake, and they had both of my entries in there.

Oh, and it wasn't my friend who changed things-- I specifically said 'the bride', who there's also footage of, as she ended up being on what became the pilot for 'bridezillas' when she was upset that the church was running behind on her special day (because no one else would think to have their wedding on Valentine's Day in Las Vegas), as she's on the phone telling the groom to just take the van and smash into the building.

/while this was going on, a group of us still in Maryland were watching Saving Silverman
//after the movie ended, I said 'we could've done more to save Glenn'
///the reception wasn't until a few weeks later
////specifically, the day after I had gotten home on a red eye flight after 4 days of conferences and a day of skiing/falling to kill time before my flight


I'm almost at a loss for words but not quite.  Nice ejaculation cake.

I did not hold back on Thanksgiving and despite being asked to bring a pie to a party of 12 people I made a 4th pie.  You can look at the Monday/tuesday food post for my full experience and spite bake of apple pie.   Nice video however, I got a good kick out of it.
 
2021-12-05 7:48:17 PM  
external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2021-12-05 8:42:34 PM  

The Red Zone: I'm almost at a loss for words but not quite.  Nice ejaculation cake.

I did not hold back on Thanksgiving and despite being asked to bring a pie to a party of 12 people I made a 4th pie.  You can look at the Monday/tuesday food post for my full experience and spite bake of apple pie.   Nice video however, I got a good kick out of it.


Oh, right.  I forgot to warn people about the audio.  (I specifically said it was a bad idea to put the microphone inside the containment)

Also, I used soy milk, but I probably should've used coconut milk as it wouldn't have turned the pudding brown
 
2021-12-05 11:43:38 PM  

KarmicDisaster: [external-content.duckduckgo.com image 660x495]


That cake is absolutely perfect!
 
2021-12-06 12:37:05 AM  

KarmicDisaster: [external-content.duckduckgo.com image 660x495]


I would have been happy to have that cake a few times in my life
 
2021-12-06 1:51:00 AM  

Irisclara: When a cake is that fancy I feel bad about cutting it. Since I don't want to make my cake recipient feel hesitant about enjoying it, even just for a second, All my cakes get a simple buttercream frosting. No one has ever complained. A cake should yearn to be cut.


Guess all those professional cake bakers are wrong about cakes.
 
2021-12-06 7:44:45 AM  

Oneiros: Ugh.  Basketweave.

/took Wilton 1 through 3 about 15+ years ago
//had agreed to make a wedding cake for a friend
///the bride insisted she just wanted a 'plain white cake'
////which changed into '150 cupcakes with a rose on each one'
//found a place to buy the damned roses


We used to crank out that many roses in an hour.  My family owned a Carvel back in the 80s and 90s.  The roses were all spun one at a time with frosting.  With practice it would take no more than 15 seconds to spin and place a single rose.

The hand-killer was during the holiday season. Coloring in Christmas trees with gel looks like fun until you have to do several hundred of them.  It's no wonder now in my mid 40s I have arthritis in both hands.
 
2021-12-06 9:07:00 AM  

TTFK: Oneiros: Ugh.  Basketweave.

/took Wilton 1 through 3 about 15+ years ago
//had agreed to make a wedding cake for a friend
///the bride insisted she just wanted a 'plain white cake'
////which changed into '150 cupcakes with a rose on each one'
//found a place to buy the damned roses

We used to crank out that many roses in an hour.  My family owned a Carvel back in the 80s and 90s.  The roses were all spun one at a time with frosting.  With practice it would take no more than 15 seconds to spin and place a single rose.

The hand-killer was during the holiday season. Coloring in Christmas trees with gel looks like fun until you have to do several hundred of them.  It's no wonder now in my mid 40s I have arthritis in both hands.


I suck at roses.

the 'Wilton way' of making a rose is a blob, a single petal all the way around / on top of it, three overlapping petals in a circle, five overlapping petals, and then there might've been one more with 7 petals.

I could get a decent looking something with three petals, but as I got bigger, it just all went to hell.  I think I got an acceptable (for my level of anal retentiveness) done once.

I was fine with violets or peonies or mums or daffodils or any of the other ones except maybe daisies (daisies came out looking like a weird pinwheel, with the petals too thick)

But roses were the bane of my existence in those classes.  I remember on one of the cakes, our instructor specifically required us to write three words on the cake, and mine were 'I HATE ROSES'

It also didn't help that the timing of their wedding meant that I'd have to get the cupcakes baked and decorated in one day, as I was coming back from a work  trip.  We didn't know if we were going to have a team meeting on Friday after the conference, so I had booked a red eye out on Thursday, and would have Friday to bake and frost 150 cupcakes.

I did some advance work... bought a second cupcake pan and borrowed 2 from a neighbor so I could have 2 dozen in the oven while I was releasing / cleaning pans / preparing the next batch.  Bought box mixes (decided to make many different types, so people had options).  Tested different ways to try to frost them quickly (dipping in white chocolate was a waste... and I think I had to pitch a 5 lb bag that sat for years that I never used). Finally settled on a swirl with a big star tip.

Made up a batch of cake release, as I inserted unwrapped cupcakes into oversized wrappers so wedding reception attendees wouldn't have to make a mess in their nice clothes.

And spent way too much time searching for a larger disher.  None of the places near me had anything of a decent size, they were all like 2TB max.  I even went to the conference (in Boulder) on an early morning flight as there was some restaurant expo? Conference? in Colorado Springs and saw displays of people who had knife sharpening services and stoves, but no one selling tools.

(Managed to find an oxo good grips large cookie scoop at a store in Boulder, luckily... which I suspected existed as the Bed Bath and Beyond near me had small and medium, but not large)

Even got sheet trays and cake boxes so  I could transport all of the damned cupcakes.

But my big mistake was that our Thursday meeting never materialized, and so I thought 'hey, this is the Rockies, I should go skiing' even though I think I had only skiied once since high school.  They are *not* kidding about the Rockies being nothing like east coast skiing, even having been to Vermont once as a Boy Scout.  I didn't even know how to get back up, as you couldn't just put a knee down, as you'd sink up to your crotch.

And I fell.  A lot.  And skiied 'til close, then drove to the airport, exhausted but couldn't check in, as they wouldn't take your bags 'til 3hrs before the flight.  Finally got to check my bag, then went through security with my laptop bag and 'personal item' (what was left of a 6 pack of Mountain Dew).

And tried to catch a nap at the gate.  But there was a really drunk DJ who decided he wanted to talk to me while making badly-whispered inappropriate comments about the staff and any attractive females that walked by.  And of course, being two guys with long hair, I'm sure the staff thought we were friends.

And it was southwest, and I took the front row for extra leg room as I was planning on sleeping the whole way.  And the DJ saw me and sat next to me.

So I was exhausted and my muscles were feeling it from skiing.  I'm damned happy I didn't have to make 150 roses.  Even if I could do them in twice the time it took you, that would've been more than an hour on top of everything else.

And I assume the trees were that tightly packed stars type fill?  I'd have been tempted to outline and flood fill, but wouldn't give you the textured look.

/that couple is now going through a divorce
//he insists her personality changed after she had a traumatic brain injury
///but I'm still surprised it lasted as long as it did
////likely waited 'til both kids were in high school
 
2021-12-06 9:10:59 AM  

austerity101: Irisclara: When a cake is that fancy I feel bad about cutting it. Since I don't want to make my cake recipient feel hesitant about enjoying it, even just for a second, All my cakes get a simple buttercream frosting. No one has ever complained. A cake should yearn to be cut.

Guess all those professional cake bakers are wrong about cakes.


I've been to two events that had cakes from Charm City.  One of them was even on the show...

They had made a display piece, and then a bunch of sheet cakes to actually eat.

In all fairness, that particular one kinda had to be styrofoam-- it was a hanging model of the Hubble, for a Yuri's Night at Goddard Space Flight Center's visitor center.
 
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