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(Thrillist)   Subway is opening a new store that doesn't sell any sandwiches. It promises to be no different than any other Subway   (thrillist.com) divider line
    More: Unlikely, New York City, National Cookie Day, Lower East Side, Subway habit, Manhattan, lure of fresh foot-long sandwiches, great work of Make-A-Wish, cookies  
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1133 clicks; posted to Food » on 04 Dec 2021 at 8:53 PM (24 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



17 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-12-04 6:42:44 PM  
Cookies? I never had them at their restaurants. Are they really any good?
 
2021-12-04 6:43:38 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-04 10:11:06 PM  
Welp, ain't gonna eat there, but at the same time I won't spew my guts all over the roof.

That last visit to subway has left an impression in my mind. Like forever banned. It all came back up. Boss was trapped in the portapotty doing things.

It went away within a couple hours. But we just looked at eachother and said "never again"

Do not know what the hell it was. But after eating it we both felt like shiat. Then he went to the portapotty and got stuck there for an hour an 2. I went up to the roof to braze some shiat. Feeling sick. Promptly ran to a roof drain opening and puked my guts out.

Like nothing was digested. I could count the onion and banana pepper slices if I cared to.

Whatever the hell it was wasn't some 24 hour food poisoning or a salmonella outbreak or E. Coli.

This was an almost forced purge. I have no farking idea what works that quickly and wrecks your guts that badly.
 
2021-12-04 10:58:35 PM  

Axeofjudgement: Welp, ain't gonna eat there, but at the same time I won't spew my guts all over the roof.

That last visit to subway has left an impression in my mind. Like forever banned. It all came back up. Boss was trapped in the portapotty doing things.

It went away within a couple hours. But we just looked at eachother and said "never again"

Do not know what the hell it was. But after eating it we both felt like shiat. Then he went to the portapotty and got stuck there for an hour an 2. I went up to the roof to braze some shiat. Feeling sick. Promptly ran to a roof drain opening and puked my guts out.

Like nothing was digested. I could count the onion and banana pepper slices if I cared to.

Whatever the hell it was wasn't some 24 hour food poisoning or a salmonella outbreak or E. Coli.

This was an almost forced purge. I have no farking idea what works that quickly and wrecks your guts that badly.


The Jared (Light) Diet - puke up all the Subway you ate and you'll never gain weight.  Light, because the full Jared involves kiddy-diddling.
 
2021-12-04 11:08:31 PM  

the_rhino: Axeofjudgement: Welp, ain't gonna eat there, but at the same time I won't spew my guts all over the roof.

That last visit to subway has left an impression in my mind. Like forever banned. It all came back up. Boss was trapped in the portapotty doing things.

It went away within a couple hours. But we just looked at eachother and said "never again"

Do not know what the hell it was. But after eating it we both felt like shiat. Then he went to the portapotty and got stuck there for an hour an 2. I went up to the roof to braze some shiat. Feeling sick. Promptly ran to a roof drain opening and puked my guts out.

Like nothing was digested. I could count the onion and banana pepper slices if I cared to.

Whatever the hell it was wasn't some 24 hour food poisoning or a salmonella outbreak or E. Coli.

This was an almost forced purge. I have no farking idea what works that quickly and wrecks your guts that badly.

The Jared (Light) Diet - puke up all the Subway you ate and you'll never gain weight.  Light, because the full Jared involves kiddy-diddling.


I still don't know what the hell it was... 20 minutes later it all went to hell.

It wasn't my weird form of fasting for 24 hours. Boss at the time will eat all and anything. But yeah within 20 minutes we both went down

I felt immediately better as soon as I lost it. Boss took a little longer. But as soon as it was all gone just an agreement "no more subway"
 
2021-12-05 12:19:17 AM  
How will I know it's a Subway without the aroma of doughy, undercooked bread wafting into the sidewalk?
 
2021-12-05 1:58:23 AM  

kdawg7736: Cookies? I never had them at their restaurants. Are they really any good?


ugh, no, just... no. way too sweet, half-raw, not much actual flavor, bleh. altho' I suppose that's perfect for a country who loves eating cookie dough?

huh, they should sell their cookie dough in those same stores - both served to-order and packaged in tubes. you're welcome Subway, but you still owe me a brazillion dollars for this gem!
 
151 [OhFark]
2021-12-05 2:35:38 AM  

Axeofjudgement: Welp, ain't gonna eat there, but at the same time I won't spew my guts all over the roof.

That last visit to subway has left an impression in my mind. Like forever banned. It all came back up. Boss was trapped in the portapotty doing things.

It went away within a couple hours. But we just looked at eachother and said "never again"

Do not know what the hell it was. But after eating it we both felt like shiat. Then he went to the portapotty and got stuck there for an hour an 2. I went up to the roof to braze some shiat. Feeling sick. Promptly ran to a roof drain opening and puked my guts out.

Like nothing was digested. I could count the onion and banana pepper slices if I cared to.

Whatever the hell it was wasn't some 24 hour food poisoning or a salmonella outbreak or E. Coli.

This was an almost forced purge. I have no farking idea what works that quickly and wrecks your guts that badly.


Legit had the same thing happen to me today about an hour after eating a ham and cheese sandwich from my local corner store, eaten em plenty of times before and I actually trust their food safety practices. Ate it, 15 minutes later got really hot and sweaty, (it's Michigan and December, and thermostat is at 67), 30 minutes later started... Gagging... Then, yep, everything I ate or drank in the last 24 hours came back up. I was sitting in my living room about to enjoy the Michigan game with my buddy and I was just like /runs to the bathroom

15 minutes later after I was done dry heaving and thought my head was gonna explode, I came out and he told me he thought somebody was knocking on the door before he realized I was... Relieving myself through my mouth. That's how damn violent it was. Ugh, still don't feel right. And I know it's not food poisoning of course, it's just... Something
 
2021-12-05 2:50:14 AM  
CTRL-F "toffee" 0/0

Guess I won't be going there.
 
2021-12-05 7:41:24 AM  

Axeofjudgement: Welp, ain't gonna eat there, but at the same time I won't spew my guts all over the roof.

That last visit to subway has left an impression in my mind. Like forever banned. It all came back up. Boss was trapped in the portapotty doing things.

It went away within a couple hours. But we just looked at eachother and said "never again"

Do not know what the hell it was. But after eating it we both felt like shiat. Then he went to the portapotty and got stuck there for an hour an 2. I went up to the roof to braze some shiat. Feeling sick. Promptly ran to a roof drain opening and puked my guts out.

Like nothing was digested. I could count the onion and banana pepper slices if I cared to.

Whatever the hell it was wasn't some 24 hour food poisoning or a salmonella outbreak or E. Coli.

This was an almost forced purge. I have no farking idea what works that quickly and wrecks your guts that badly.


Most of my bouts of "food poisoning" are just as fast. Not quite as assplosive though. Get the sweats n chills, take a 2 hr nap and then I'm usually good.

But yeah, fark subway. I was already burnt the hell out on that shiat when I had to work a few months in Beatty NV. There was a scrubway, and the absolute worst Denny's I've ever been to. It was so bad I was getting subway salads.
 
2021-12-05 7:43:07 AM  

151: Axeofjudgement: Welp, ain't gonna eat there, but at the same time I won't spew my guts all over the roof.

That last visit to subway has left an impression in my mind. Like forever banned. It all came back up. Boss was trapped in the portapotty doing things.

It went away within a couple hours. But we just looked at eachother and said "never again"

Do not know what the hell it was. But after eating it we both felt like shiat. Then he went to the portapotty and got stuck there for an hour an 2. I went up to the roof to braze some shiat. Feeling sick. Promptly ran to a roof drain opening and puked my guts out.

Like nothing was digested. I could count the onion and banana pepper slices if I cared to.

Whatever the hell it was wasn't some 24 hour food poisoning or a salmonella outbreak or E. Coli.

This was an almost forced purge. I have no farking idea what works that quickly and wrecks your guts that badly.

Legit had the same thing happen to me today about an hour after eating a ham and cheese sandwich from my local corner store, eaten em plenty of times before and I actually trust their food safety practices. Ate it, 15 minutes later got really hot and sweaty, (it's Michigan and December, and thermostat is at 67), 30 minutes later started... Gagging... Then, yep, everything I ate or drank in the last 24 hours came back up. I was sitting in my living room about to enjoy the Michigan game with my buddy and I was just like /runs to the bathroom

15 minutes later after I was done dry heaving and thought my head was gonna explode, I came out and he told me he thought somebody was knocking on the door before he realized I was... Relieving myself through my mouth. That's how damn violent it was. Ugh, still don't feel right. And I know it's not food poisoning of course, it's just... Something


Yikes. At least Michigan won.
 
2021-12-05 9:04:03 AM  
While we're firing shots at Subway...

"SUBWAY - Eat Fresh??" - Jim Gaffigan Stand up (Mr.Universe)
Youtube G2bp_CYJbyw


Don't judge by the weird thumbnail -- it's 7 minutes of standup gold.
 
2021-12-05 9:06:27 AM  
Well, at least they've realized the cookies are the only thing they've got going for them.
 
2021-12-05 12:10:11 PM  
I never ask for lettuce at Subway, and I've never been sick after eating there. Coincidence? You be the judge.
 
2021-12-05 4:03:09 PM  
Does it simply offer a heartfelt apology and a chance to punch a Subway corporate executive?

If so, I'm not farking interested. They knew! They knew Jared Fogle was farking children, and they hid it FOR YEARS! THEY FARKING KNEW!

Never. Not one goddamned dime from me, ever. Fark Subway.
 
2021-12-05 6:17:24 PM  

151: Axeofjudgement: Welp, ain't gonna eat there, but at the same time I won't spew my guts all over the roof.

That last visit to subway has left an impression in my mind. Like forever banned. It all came back up. Boss was trapped in the portapotty doing things.

It went away within a couple hours. But we just looked at eachother and said "never again"

Do not know what the hell it was. But after eating it we both felt like shiat. Then he went to the portapotty and got stuck there for an hour an 2. I went up to the roof to braze some shiat. Feeling sick. Promptly ran to a roof drain opening and puked my guts out.

Like nothing was digested. I could count the onion and banana pepper slices if I cared to.

Whatever the hell it was wasn't some 24 hour food poisoning or a salmonella outbreak or E. Coli.

This was an almost forced purge. I have no farking idea what works that quickly and wrecks your guts that badly.

Legit had the same thing happen to me today about an hour after eating a ham and cheese sandwich from my local corner store, eaten em plenty of times before and I actually trust their food safety practices. Ate it, 15 minutes later got really hot and sweaty, (it's Michigan and December, and thermostat is at 67), 30 minutes later started... Gagging... Then, yep, everything I ate or drank in the last 24 hours came back up. I was sitting in my living room about to enjoy the Michigan game with my buddy and I was just like /runs to the bathroom

15 minutes later after I was done dry heaving and thought my head was gonna explode, I came out and he told me he thought somebody was knocking on the door before he realized I was... Relieving myself through my mouth. That's how damn violent it was. Ugh, still don't feel right. And I know it's not food poisoning of course, it's just... Something


Man, my condolences. It's a really farked up feeling. At least you were home. Kneeling on a farking roof and I'm sure everyone in a 3 block radius heard my guts coming up and hitting the roof.

We said fark it for the rest of that job, took my car rather the company van (GPS and time show up) drove the extra 10 minutes to skyline and just had conies or 3 ways for the next couple days. And a relaxing one hour lunch instead of 30 min.

Fark subway I need those calories.
 
2021-12-05 7:04:08 PM  

FormlessOne: Does it simply offer a heartfelt apology and a chance to punch a Subway corporate executive?

If so, I'm not farking interested. They knew! They knew Jared Fogle was farking children, and they hid it FOR YEARS! THEY FARKING KNEW!

Never. Not one goddamned dime from me, ever. Fark Subway.


is there one where we can punch Jared himself

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