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(ABC News)   "I hope y'all aren't snitches." Apparently, one was   (abcnews.go.com) divider line
    More: Florida, Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School, High school, Marjory Stoneman Douglas, South Florida teenager, normal kid, English-language films, 17-year-old high school junior, Parkland, Florida  
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4638 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Dec 2021 at 6:45 PM (23 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



30 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-12-03 4:15:34 PM  
"I feel like school shooting tmrw (tomorrow). When I sneeze it's a signal go to the bathroom OK. I hope y'all aren't snitches," the text message said,

Not the dumbest, most error-prone signal for a school shooting ever, but close; nothing beats the infamous Duncan Gerald Waterberg's "go when I fart" signal that made him the first school shooter to have tried gunning down classmates with fully shat pants.
 
2021-12-03 4:54:38 PM  
The mother: "He's a normal kid from a normal family and a safe environment. He doesn't realize the world is not so safe," she said.
"In my country, schools are very safe. Our mindset is very peaceful. He just wanted to show up among his friends," she said. "It's not an excuse for his behavior. It's just an explanation for his behavior. All threats must be investigated. I understand that.
"

It's good that you understand that and all, but I'm pretty sure the parents at Parkland thought their kids were in a safe environment before 2018.

More importantly, that your kid thought this was a good idea points to them not being a normal kid at all. At best they are an incredibly, ridiculously farking stupid kid.

At best.
 
2021-12-03 6:50:22 PM  
Read the room, kid.
 
2021-12-03 6:53:07 PM  
I really don't have much of a problem with school shootings TBH. What bothers me is when they shoot people.
 
2021-12-03 6:56:38 PM  
Is this going to be a, "I sentence you to time served and make sure you get him Dairy Queen on the way home"?
 
2021-12-03 6:57:00 PM  
I'm comfortable saying it's not snitching to report that some kid is saying he is going to come shoot up the school. "Jimmy toilet papered the prinicipal's house". That's snitching. avoiding mass murder is not snitching.
 
2021-12-03 6:58:46 PM  

Olympic Trolling Judge: Read the room, kid.


That's the scary part, I think he is. The rightwing psycho-sphere really loves its mass murder heroes, and I wouldnt be shocked if they find some stuff from there on that kids computer.

Whats got me sad is that its Parkland again, that town doesn't need another scar on its psyche.
 
2021-12-03 6:59:30 PM  
Punish them and everyone they know and their children and children's children for seven generations. It's the only way to be sure this will never happen again.
 
2021-12-03 7:01:41 PM  
If he actually was able to go through with this as he planned, using the sneeze thing, then everyone that was in that chat room and at school the next day that got up to use the bathroom as indicated should, and likely would be found complicit and have potential attempted murder 1/murder 1 charges also.
 
2021-12-03 7:03:56 PM  
"The mother of the teen told WSVN that he didn't mean it, that to him it was a joke. She said that they had lived in another country where schools are safe at the time of the massacre in Parkland."
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-03 7:08:38 PM  

WayneKerr: I really don't have much of a problem with school shootings TBH. What bothers me is when they shoot people.


Good case of gallows humor right here.

We can laugh or we can go mad.
 
2021-12-03 7:09:56 PM  
This kid was like 17 or 18? Man, ok yeah they are still stupid as fark at that age, but they aren't supposed to be that stupid as fark.
 
2021-12-03 7:10:18 PM  
Thank God one of them took responsibility to do the right thing. I hope others do the same thing.
 
2021-12-03 7:14:03 PM  
Where was this student from then?
 
2021-12-03 7:17:46 PM  

Ketchuponsteak: Where was this student from then?


Literally any other country in the world.
 
2021-12-03 7:24:11 PM  
fark his mother

A big part of the problem is parents who say "Not my little angel"

And oh, the Mich shooter's parents are on the lam.  Decided not to turn themselves in

That's gonna suck for that kid. Life in prison, and your parents are dead because they decided to take on the FBI.
 
2021-12-03 7:27:24 PM  
Did the kid have access to guns?  If so, the threat was real.
 
2021-12-03 7:29:11 PM  

chawco: This kid was like 17 or 18? Man, ok yeah they are still stupid as fark at that age, but they aren't supposed to be that stupid as fark.


Male brains don't fully mature until about the age of 25. Hormones are driving the logic when you're 17 or 18.

Note, from that same article, that men don't emotionally mature until about the age of 43, which sounds right. Also, from the same article, these are the top ten reasons women think men are immature. I personally think only #9 and #10 are valid reasons, and I'm almost 50:

Finding their own passing of gas and burps amusing
Eating fast food at 2:00 AM
Playing videogames
Driving too fast
Finding rude words amusing
Driving with loud music
Playing practical jokes
Trying to beat children at games and sports
Staying silent during an argument
Not being able to cook simple meals

I could be 110 years old, farts are always funny.
 
2021-12-03 7:52:51 PM  

Lsherm: chawco: This kid was like 17 or 18? Man, ok yeah they are still stupid as fark at that age, but they aren't supposed to be that stupid as fark.

Male brains don't fully mature until about the age of 25. Hormones are driving the logic when you're 17 or 18.

Note, from that same article, that men don't emotionally mature until about the age of 43, which sounds right. Also, from the same article, these are the top ten reasons women think men are immature. I personally think only #9 and #10 are valid reasons, and I'm almost 50:

Finding their own passing of gas and burps amusing
Eating fast food at 2:00 AM
Playing videogames
Driving too fast
Finding rude words amusing
Driving with loud music
Playing practical jokes
Trying to beat children at games and sports
Staying silent during an argument
Not being able to cook simple meals

I could be 110 years old, farts are always funny.


Bonus laughs if you light them on fire.
 
2021-12-03 8:07:44 PM  

Lsherm: chawco: This kid was like 17 or 18? Man, ok yeah they are still stupid as fark at that age, but they aren't supposed to be that stupid as fark.

Male brains don't fully mature until about the age of 25. Hormones are driving the logic when you're 17 or 18.

Note, from that same article, that men don't emotionally mature until about the age of 43, which sounds right. Also, from the same article, these are the top ten reasons women think men are immature. I personally think only #9 and #10 are valid reasons, and I'm almost 50:

Finding their own passing of gas and burps amusing
Eating fast food at 2:00 AM
Playing videogames
Driving too fast
Finding rude words amusing
Driving with loud music
Playing practical jokes
Trying to beat children at games and sports
Staying silent during an argument
Not being able to cook simple meals

I could be 110 years old, farts are always funny.


I've never understood claims like that. Twenty-five was roughly the average human life expectancy for the overwhelming majority of human history. How do you figure that a person is not fully mature until they have passed the age that few of their ancestors even achieved?
 
2021-12-03 8:29:10 PM  

Kalyco Jack: Lsherm: chawco: This kid was like 17 or 18? Man, ok yeah they are still stupid as fark at that age, but they aren't supposed to be that stupid as fark.

Male brains don't fully mature until about the age of 25. Hormones are driving the logic when you're 17 or 18.

Note, from that same article, that men don't emotionally mature until about the age of 43, which sounds right. Also, from the same article, these are the top ten reasons women think men are immature. I personally think only #9 and #10 are valid reasons, and I'm almost 50:

Finding their own passing of gas and burps amusing
Eating fast food at 2:00 AM
Playing videogames
Driving too fast
Finding rude words amusing
Driving with loud music
Playing practical jokes
Trying to beat children at games and sports
Staying silent during an argument
Not being able to cook simple meals

I could be 110 years old, farts are always funny.

I've never understood claims like that. Twenty-five was roughly the average human life expectancy for the overwhelming majority of human history. How do you figure that a person is not fully mature until they have passed the age that few of their ancestors even achieved?


You're misunderstanding the meaning of "average." That included a lot of dead babies and toddlers, as well as young women who died giving birth.

If you made it into your teens you probably had a life expectancy of at least 40, and the older you got the higher the chance of living interesting your 60's. Our longer life expectancy is mostly because of our much lower child mortality rates and our ability to extend life on the other end.

Smallpox was called "The gate between death and life" in China because after the first couple of generations it was kids who got it and it killed a LOT of kids. It killed a lot of kids everywhere it went. Vaccines were the biggest contributor to our higher life expectancies at birth because we could reduce the incidence of most contagious dread diseases that young kids just wouldn't be exposed to the diseases and we could prime their systems against them as soon as it was safe to do so.

Also, what you consider useful is not necessarily what was proven to lead to greater reproductive fitness 20,000+ years ago. Even today a lot of adults lack "emotional maturity." All you have to do is read a tipping or catsup thread to see that.
 
2021-12-03 8:30:41 PM  

Kalyco Jack: I've never understood claims like that. Twenty-five was roughly the average human life expectancy for the overwhelming majority of human history. How do you figure that a person is not fully mature until they have passed the age that few of their ancestors even achieved?


For the brain, they ran successive MRI scans on the brain and proved that, on average, the physical changes of the brain stop in males at age 25 (on average).

For "emotional maturity" - that's just something social scientists made up.
 
2021-12-03 9:11:54 PM  

BolloxReader: Kalyco Jack: Lsherm: chawco: This kid was like 17 or 18? Man, ok yeah they are still stupid as fark at that age, but they aren't supposed to be that stupid as fark.

Male brains don't fully mature until about the age of 25. Hormones are driving the logic when you're 17 or 18.

Note, from that same article, that men don't emotionally mature until about the age of 43, which sounds right. Also, from the same article, these are the top ten reasons women think men are immature. I personally think only #9 and #10 are valid reasons, and I'm almost 50:

Finding their own passing of gas and burps amusing
Eating fast food at 2:00 AM
Playing videogames
Driving too fast
Finding rude words amusing
Driving with loud music
Playing practical jokes
Trying to beat children at games and sports
Staying silent during an argument
Not being able to cook simple meals

I could be 110 years old, farts are always funny.

I've never understood claims like that. Twenty-five was roughly the average human life expectancy for the overwhelming majority of human history. How do you figure that a person is not fully mature until they have passed the age that few of their ancestors even achieved?

You're misunderstanding the meaning of "average." That included a lot of dead babies and toddlers, as well as young women who died giving birth.

If you made it into your teens you probably had a life expectancy of at least 40, and the older you got the higher the chance of living interesting your 60's. Our longer life expectancy is mostly because of our much lower child mortality rates and our ability to extend life on the other end.

Smallpox was called "The gate between death and life" in China because after the first couple of generations it was kids who got it and it killed a LOT of kids. It killed a lot of kids everywhere it went. Vaccines were the biggest contributor to our higher life expectancies at birth because we could reduce the incidence of most contagious dread diseases that young kids just wouldn't be exposed to the diseases and we could prime their systems against them as soon as it was safe to do so.

Also, what you consider useful is not necessarily what was proven to lead to greater reproductive fitness 20,000+ years ago. Even today a lot of adults lack "emotional maturity." All you have to do is read a tipping or catsup thread to see that.


No, I'm basing this on the fact that bodies found in Neolithic graves tend to top out at about 30 years old.

Admitted: my source on this is a class I took at the University of Maryland circa 2007; back when I was known to smoke ditch weed in the lot by the tennis courts before class, so I may have imagined the whole thing.
 
2021-12-03 9:49:23 PM  

Megathuma: The mother: "He's a normal kid from a normal family and a safe environment. He doesn't realize the world is not so safe," she said.
"In my country, schools are very safe. Our mindset is very peaceful. He just wanted to show up among his friends," she said. "It's not an excuse for his behavior. It's just an explanation for his behavior. All threats must be investigated. I understand that."

It's good that you understand that and all, but I'm pretty sure the parents at Parkland thought their kids were in a safe environment before 2018.

More importantly, that your kid thought this was a good idea points to them not being a normal kid at all. At best they are an incredibly, ridiculously farking stupid kid.

At best.


me as optimist:

the kid probably thought he was "proving he was tough" and didnt realize that the US is pretty traumatized as a country.
 
2021-12-03 9:51:23 PM  

C18H27NO3: Is this going to be a, "I sentence you to time served and make sure you get him Dairy Queen on the way home"?


hopefully this is a sit and watch a few hours of the aftermaths of actual mass shootings.

should be pretty easy to put together just wait 5 mins for the next one.
 
2021-12-03 10:08:37 PM  
Good.
 
2021-12-03 11:21:45 PM  

Kalyco Jack: I've never understood claims like that. Twenty-five was roughly the average human life expectancy for the overwhelming majority of human history. How do you figure that a person is not fully mature until they have passed the age that few of their ancestors even achieved?


The difference between mean and median. There was high infant and child mortality, but if you got past that you had a decent chance of living to your "threescore years and ten."
 
2021-12-04 12:33:51 AM  
Better stitches than a coffin.
 
2021-12-04 2:57:17 AM  

Lsherm: chawco: This kid was like 17 or 18? Man, ok yeah they are still stupid as fark at that age, but they aren't supposed to be that stupid as fark.

Male brains don't fully mature until about the age of 25. Hormones are driving the logic when you're 17 or 18.

Note, from that same article, that men don't emotionally mature until about the age of 43, which sounds right. Also, from the same article, these are the top ten reasons women think men are immature. I personally think only #9 and #10 are valid reasons, and I'm almost 50:

Finding their own passing of gas and burps amusing
Eating fast food at 2:00 AM
Playing videogames
Driving too fast
Finding rude words amusing
Driving with loud music
Playing practical jokes
Trying to beat children at games and sports
Staying silent during an argument
Not being able to cook simple meals

I could be 110 years old, farts are always funny.


DNR your link because lazy, but if aging becomes treatable, we could delay parenthood for men until after emotional maturity. How great would that be?
 
2021-12-04 11:41:45 AM  
What if he sneezeed by accident and wasn't ready? That's dumb cue. It's like making your safe word "ouch".
 
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