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(Christian Post)   Good news you filthy fellow heathens: Catholics and Protestants agree that you don't have to have faith in God to enter heaven   (christianpost.com) divider line
    More: Silly, Protestantism, Christian terms, new study, Evangelicalism, Christianity, Pew Research Center, mainline Christians, American views  
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1383 clicks; posted to Politics » on 01 Dec 2021 at 5:35 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



161 Comments     (+0 »)
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2021-12-01 4:39:17 PM  
Kind of makes religions pointless, eh?
 
2021-12-01 5:11:47 PM  

skybird659: Kind of makes religions pointless, eh?


Especially tithing.
 
2021-12-01 5:14:20 PM  
There must be so many cliques in the Heaven cafeteria.
 
2021-12-01 5:15:15 PM  
Evangelicals on the other hand don't think even Catholics are getting into Heaven.
 
2021-12-01 5:21:31 PM  

dletter: Evangelicals on the other hand don't think even Catholics are getting into Heaven.


Catholics are just not getting into Evangelical Heaven, which honestly sounds like a total dump filled with insufferable people anyway.

/Catholic Heaven has the Latin hotties, the Italian food, the Irish drinking, and the French je ne sais quoi.
 
2021-12-01 5:37:54 PM  
Why would non-Christians want to be in Christian heaven?
 
2021-12-01 5:38:42 PM  
Yet I still have to have a membership to enter Costco.
 
2021-12-01 5:38:57 PM  
lol, just one more data point to throw on the pile showing how little most religious people actually know or care about their own "belief system" - not one farking bit.
 
2021-12-01 5:40:20 PM  
Angry Drunk Bureaucrat:

and the French je ne sais quoi.

Mardis Gras.

/prolapsed Catholic
 
2021-12-01 5:41:09 PM  
I know I should have an opinion on this, but I think I'll just shut up.
 
2021-12-01 5:41:15 PM  
I wish there was a heaven. I'd kill myself on the spot just so I could see the looks on the faces of all these motherfarker who ain't gettin' in.
 
2021-12-01 5:41:22 PM  
Yeah well, it ain't up to them now is it?!?
 
2021-12-01 5:41:45 PM  
Guess I'm going to have to increase my sinning so I won't have to spend eternity with a bunch of Christians. Don't believe in Heaven but gonna sin more just in case.
 
2021-12-01 5:42:14 PM  

skybird659: Kind of makes religions pointless, eh?


Now here's something with lots of points.  Look at this until I find a bunny with a pancake on his head.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-01 5:42:39 PM  

vrax: Yet I still have to have a membership to enter Costco.


You can walk in and around all you want. Just can't buy anything.
 
2021-12-01 5:42:53 PM  

leeksfromchichis: Why would non-Christians want to be in Christian heaven?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-01 5:43:02 PM  
Still pass, thanks.
 
2021-12-01 5:43:38 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: dletter: Evangelicals on the other hand don't think even Catholics are getting into Heaven.

Catholics are just not getting into Evangelical Heaven, which honestly sounds like a total dump filled with insufferable people anyway.

/Catholic Heaven has the Latin hotties, the Italian food, the Irish drinking, and the French je ne sais quoi.


static.wikia.nocookie.netView Full Size
 
2021-12-01 5:43:59 PM  
Really?

Cuz there's this really hot stripper named Heaven down at the Spearmint Rhino...
 
2021-12-01 5:44:03 PM  

leeksfromchichis: Why would non-Christians want to be in Christian heaven?


I'd take oblivion over having to spend eternity with those judgemental dipasses.
 
2021-12-01 5:44:05 PM  
This is actually big news.

One of the reasons for their zealotry in creating laws in this country and invading other cultures to convert the natives was their belief that if you don't subscribe then you rot in hell. They felt obligated to save the souls of the unbelievers.

Maybe now we can get them to STFU and leave us alone? I mean, now they don't have to save us.
 
2021-12-01 5:44:17 PM  

fsbilly: vrax: Yet I still have to have a membership to enter Costco.

You can walk in and around all you want. Just can't buy anything.


The pharmacy is open to all.
 
2021-12-01 5:44:33 PM  
I'm happier being put in the ground after the lights go out, thanks.

What good is immortality if I don't get to have agency?
 
2021-12-01 5:45:44 PM  

Gin Buddy: This is actually big news.

One of the reasons for their zealotry in creating laws in this country and invading other cultures to convert the natives was their belief that if you don't subscribe then you rot in hell. They felt obligated to save the souls of the unbelievers.

Maybe now we can get them to STFU and leave us alone? I mean, now they don't have to save us.


The funny isn't because you aren't making a valid point.  It's because I tried to imagine them S'ingTFU and ... man that shiat's hilarious.
 
2021-12-01 5:46:10 PM  
There is One God, goes the teaching -- all the way back at least 1000-600 BC. For all of humanity, whatever their religion -- or lack thereof.

So, yeah...should be obvious to all but the bigoted
 
2021-12-01 5:46:49 PM  

leeksfromchichis: Why would non-Christians want to be in Christian heaven?


Agreed.

The captain frowned. "It's a funny thing," he said, "but why is it that the heathens and the barbarians seem to have the best places to go when they die?"
"A bit of a poser, that," agreed the mate. "I s'pose it makes up for 'em . . . enjoying themselves all the time when they're alive, too?" He looked puzzled. Now that he was dead, the whole thing sounded suspicious.
-
Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett.
 
2021-12-01 5:47:30 PM  
Heaven doesn't want me and Hell's afraid I'll take over
 
2021-12-01 5:47:36 PM  
Screw 'Heaven'!!  I'm going to the Adventure Time universe when I die.  I know that's real. I've seen it on TV.
 
2021-12-01 5:48:14 PM  

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: dletter: Evangelicals on the other hand don't think even Catholics are getting into Heaven.

Catholics are just not getting into Evangelical Heaven, which honestly sounds like a total dump filled with insufferable people anyway.

/Catholic Heaven has the Latin hotties, the Italian food, the Irish drinking, and the French je ne sais quoi.


There's also that Spanish Inquisition nobody is expecting.
 
2021-12-01 5:48:20 PM  

BeesNuts: It's because I tried to imagine them S'ingTFU and ... man that shiat's hilarious.



I know, right? Even as I was hitting the Add Comment button I knew it wasn't much more than fantasy.
 
2021-12-01 5:49:38 PM  
I'm sorry, but what part of  dead do they not understand?
 
2021-12-01 5:50:54 PM  
Heck with that. I want to go where the good music is. I'll be at the Gorgoroth concert on the shores of the Lake of Fire, burying Jerry Falwell's head in the sand.
 
2021-12-01 5:50:57 PM  

Gin Buddy: This is actually big news.

One of the reasons for their zealotry in creating laws in this country and invading other cultures to convert the natives was their belief that if you don't subscribe then you rot in hell. They felt obligated to save the souls of the unbelievers.

Maybe now we can get them to STFU and leave us alone? I mean, now they don't have to save us.


This is the wrong take-away.

Religious zealots won't see this survey as meaning "You don't need to be explicitly Christian to get to heaven because a poll says so," they will see it as meaning "A huge chunk of Protestants and Catholics have no real understanding of salvation and therefore aren't really saved, so we need to convert them too."
 
2021-12-01 5:51:26 PM  

Weird Hal: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat:

and the French je ne sais quoi.

Mardis Gras.

/prolapsed Catholic


Prolapsed? Were you an altar boy?
 
2021-12-01 5:52:03 PM  

skybird659: Kind of makes religions pointless, eh?


I think you meant "confirms that religion is pointless". But the end result is the same.
 
2021-12-01 5:54:46 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: Gin Buddy: This is actually big news.

One of the reasons for their zealotry in creating laws in this country and invading other cultures to convert the natives was their belief that if you don't subscribe then you rot in hell. They felt obligated to save the souls of the unbelievers.

Maybe now we can get them to STFU and leave us alone? I mean, now they don't have to save us.

This is the wrong take-away.

Religious zealots won't see this survey as meaning "You don't need to be explicitly Christian to get to heaven because a poll says so," they will see it as meaning "A huge chunk of Protestants and Catholics have no real understanding of salvation and therefore aren't really saved, so we need to convert them too."


Well, to be honest I wasn't about to read that article and was thinking that they were actually moving in this direction. Which would be good.

But hey, maybe they'll be so busy arguing with and converting each other that they won't have as much free time? Just trying to stay positive here.
 
2021-12-01 5:54:57 PM  

Gin Buddy: BeesNuts: It's because I tried to imagine them S'ingTFU and ... man that shiat's hilarious.


I know, right? Even as I was hitting the Add Comment button I knew it wasn't much more than fantasy.


Hey man, they have their fantasies.  We might as well have ours.  Rock on.
 
2021-12-01 5:55:19 PM  

Gin Buddy: This is actually big news.

One of the reasons for their zealotry in creating laws in this country and invading other cultures to convert the natives was their belief that if you don't subscribe then you rot in hell. They felt obligated to save the souls of the unbelievers.

Maybe now we can get them to STFU and leave us alone? I mean, now they don't have to save us.


It's almost funny that you think they'll care.

If they cared about logic they wouldn't purport to worship sky wizards and believe in souls. Religion mainly serves - for the adherents - as a way to justify what they already want, and create a "us" and "them" groups to foster tribalism. No one who "feels an obligation" to try and convert people is going to give any shiats at all. For them their religion is just a way to reinforce their chosen belief that they're special, and deserve naturally to be in charge of everyone else.
 
2021-12-01 5:55:51 PM  

Gin Buddy: Martian_Astronomer: Gin Buddy: This is actually big news.

One of the reasons for their zealotry in creating laws in this country and invading other cultures to convert the natives was their belief that if you don't subscribe then you rot in hell. They felt obligated to save the souls of the unbelievers.

Maybe now we can get them to STFU and leave us alone? I mean, now they don't have to save us.

This is the wrong take-away.

Religious zealots won't see this survey as meaning "You don't need to be explicitly Christian to get to heaven because a poll says so," they will see it as meaning "A huge chunk of Protestants and Catholics have no real understanding of salvation and therefore aren't really saved, so we need to convert them too."

Well, to be honest I wasn't about to read that article and was thinking that they were actually moving in this direction. Which would be good.

But hey, maybe they'll be so busy arguing with and converting each other that they won't have as much free time? Just trying to stay positive here.


Now we're talking.  Let all the sects duke it out and leave us the hell alone in reality.
 
2021-12-01 5:57:48 PM  

RasIanI: There is One God, goes the teaching -- all the way back at least 1000-600 BC. For all of humanity, whatever their religion -- or lack thereof.

So, yeah...should be obvious to all but the bigoted


Uh, make that about 3000 B.C. Judaism was around before little Jewish Jesus was born. We are now in the Hebrew year of 5782.
 
2021-12-01 5:58:07 PM  

Ed Grubermann: I'm sorry, but what part of  dead do they not understand?


Death is pretty simple to understand, we see it every day.  The question is, what part of resurrection do you not understand?
 
2021-12-01 5:59:14 PM  

RasIanI: There is One God, goes the teaching -- all the way back at least 1000-600 BC. For all of humanity, whatever their religion -- or lack thereof.

So, yeah...should be obvious to all but the bigoted


Which teachings? Which god? Does human history only stretch back to 1000 BCE? Why are you just seemingly pretending that the many religions with multiple gods - many of which vastly predate prominent monotheistic religions - just don't exist? One of the biggest countries on Earth, much bigger than the US, is a majority multi-theistic religion.

Mankind has invented around 2,500 gods across 1,500 religions. They're all dangerous, harmful, garbage - but they certainly exist.
 
2021-12-01 5:59:17 PM  
Whoa whoa whoa.. who the fark asked for this. You're not dragging  me to your shiatty heaven full of christers when I die. Keep your filthy molesting hands off my ghost, biatches.
 
2021-12-01 5:59:46 PM  

skybird659: RasIanI: There is One God, goes the teaching -- all the way back at least 1000-600 BC. For all of humanity, whatever their religion -- or lack thereof.

So, yeah...should be obvious to all but the bigoted

Uh, make that about 3000 B.C. Judaism was around before little Jewish Jesus was born. We are now in the Hebrew year of 5782.


And I'm still writing 5781 on my checks.
 
2021-12-01 6:00:14 PM  
What if you don't wanna? I'm looking forward to The Void™.
 
2021-12-01 6:01:09 PM  

Mouser: Ed Grubermann: I'm sorry, but what part of  dead do they not understand?

Death is pretty simple to understand, we see it every day.  The question is, what part of resurrection do you not understand?


The part where it's physically impossible. Death is final. There is nothing afterward.
 
2021-12-01 6:01:29 PM  

RaptorLC: Heck with that. I want to go where the good music is. I'll be at the Gorgoroth concert on the shores of the Lake of Fire, burying Jerry Falwell's head in the sand.



Righteous Brothers - Rock And Roll Heaven (1974)
Youtube bddSJbj3VGA
 
2021-12-01 6:02:36 PM  

neaorin: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: dletter: Evangelicals on the other hand don't think even Catholics are getting into Heaven.

Catholics are just not getting into Evangelical Heaven, which honestly sounds like a total dump filled with insufferable people anyway.

/Catholic Heaven has the Latin hotties, the Italian food, the Irish drinking, and the French je ne sais quoi.

There's also that Spanish Inquisition nobody is expecting.


Worth it for the paella
 
2021-12-01 6:04:04 PM  

Weird Hal: skybird659: RasIanI: There is One God, goes the teaching -- all the way back at least 1000-600 BC. For all of humanity, whatever their religion -- or lack thereof.

So, yeah...should be obvious to all but the bigoted

Uh, make that about 3000 B.C. Judaism was around before little Jewish Jesus was born. We are now in the Hebrew year of 5782.

And I'm still writing 5781 on my checks.


Changed in October. Rabbi out front should have told ya!
 
2021-12-01 6:05:15 PM  
My luck he lets me into Heaven anyway but I get the room next to the noisy ice machine for all eternity.

/And every day he runs by screaming "Everything you know is wrong!"
 
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