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(Bleeping Computer)   Are you getting hit with an Emotet malware outbreak right now? Turns out you're not. News tag so you don't pull the plug on your datacenter   (bleepingcomputer.com) divider line
    More: News, Microsoft Windows, Windows Vista, Windows XP, Windows Update, Microsoft Defender, Spyware, definition update, Type I and type II errors  
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3785 clicks; posted to Main » and STEM » on 01 Dec 2021 at 11:05 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



47 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-12-01 10:57:15 AM  
Management:

thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size


Me:

c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2021-12-01 11:05:47 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


It's just not that complicated to stay ahead of malware.  Keep your endpoint protection up to date, and deny access to corporate networks if devices fail compliance tests.

That, and teaching your employees and co-workers to NOT click on shiat they get in email, Also, your company should have an email scanning/sandboxing/antivirus solution in place because that's how 99% of this shiat spreads.
 
2021-12-01 11:10:21 AM  
I'll certainly feign concern about Emotnets from now on.
 
2021-12-01 11:11:15 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-01 11:12:18 AM  
Too late, I just put my computer thru the shredder.
 
2021-12-01 11:13:36 AM  
That's just what they want you to think.
 
2021-12-01 11:14:22 AM  

Walker: Too late, I just put my computer thru the shredder.


That's a big shredder.
 
2021-12-01 11:14:47 AM  
A news flash on day old news?
 
2021-12-01 11:16:05 AM  

markie_farkie: [Fark user image 850x466]

It's just not that complicated to stay ahead of malware.  Keep your endpoint protection up to date, and deny access to corporate networks if devices fail compliance tests.

That, and teaching your employees and co-workers to NOT click on shiat they get in email, Also, your company should have an email scanning/sandboxing/antivirus solution in place because that's how 99% of this shiat spreads.


That sounds good, but I'm working on something urgent and can't be bothered to restart right now and the C-Suite really wants to know the secret management techniques that'll boost income 500% and are getting pissy that you're blocking the site that has them.

/InfoSec would be easy
//If not for those bloody users
///Also, devs are the worst.
 
2021-12-01 11:16:09 AM  

ajgeek: Walker: Too late, I just put my computer thru the shredder.

That's a big shredder.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-01 11:16:44 AM  
Now you just get in line there and pay your respects to big data, who provided all of this for you.  What's even funnier is that you just keep paying for it and waiting for it to solve all your problems.
Either the computers are the problem, or you are.  Pick a side.
And we all know that you'll pick the side that is most convenient.
 
2021-12-01 11:17:31 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-01 11:17:37 AM  
Oh good.  I live in Ashburn, Virginia, data center capital of the world.  It was going to take me quite a while to unplug all those darn things.
 
2021-12-01 11:18:55 AM  
Oh, it's another Windows thing. No wonder I didn't see it.

/ We Linux users seem to miss out on all of the fun.
 
2021-12-01 11:19:01 AM  

markie_farkie: [Fark user image image 850x466]

It's just not that complicated to stay ahead of malware.  Keep your endpoint protection up to date, and deny access to corporate networks if devices fail compliance tests.

That, and teaching your employees and co-workers to NOT click on shiat they get in email, Also, your company should have an email scanning/sandboxing/antivirus solution in place because that's how 99% of this shiat spreads.


The funny thing is that most workplaces send their employees "important" emails with links to click.

/Mine sent out a vaccination attestation email, then wondered why they were bombarded with calls about a scam, prompting them to send another email saying that the first email was legit.
 
2021-12-01 11:22:24 AM  

markie_farkie: [Fark user image image 850x466]

It's just not that complicated to stay ahead of malware.  Keep your endpoint protection up to date, and deny access to corporate networks if devices fail compliance tests.

That, and teaching your employees and co-workers to NOT click on shiat they get in email, Also, your company should have an email scanning/sandboxing/antivirus solution in place because that's how 99% of this shiat spreads.


We get tested regularly. IT sends out fake phishing emails. Some of them are REALLY good. It definitely helps teach employees not to click random shiat.

Now if we could get them to stop clicking shiat from their phones...
 
2021-12-01 11:23:01 AM  
That's just the kind of headline the malware would write!
 
2021-12-01 11:25:20 AM  

Interceptor1: Oh, it's another Windows thing. No wonder I didn't see it.

/ We Linux users seem to miss out on all of the fun.


No, I'm sure your parties with Vegans and Cross Fitters are a hoot!
 
2021-12-01 11:26:51 AM  

Cthulhukefka: [Fark user image 425x274]


Well, now you have to 'shop him with an emo haircut
 
2021-12-01 11:26:52 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

RIP
 
2021-12-01 11:28:24 AM  
Uup. Never mind.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-01 11:30:58 AM  

Cthulhukefka: [Fark user image image 425x274]


A virus with just that picture taking up your screen would be awesome!
 
2021-12-01 11:39:12 AM  

gopher321: Uup. Never mind.

[Fark user image image 200x252]


Perfect
 
2021-12-01 11:45:32 AM  
I am not a fan of the heuristics used by Windows Defender. Try installing a GNU development environment like MinGW and building some open source project like FFmpeg and it will fire off a ton of false positive threat responses based on the fact that some shiatty malware over the years also used some of the same core libraries. This wouldn't be so bad if excluding build directories from Windows Defender scans was a simple matter, so basically it has to be disabled entirely every time you kick off a build, which is a PITA and could cause real pain if you forget to re-enable it when you are done.
 
2021-12-01 11:53:23 AM  

bambi121899: markie_farkie: [Fark user image image 850x466]

It's just not that complicated to stay ahead of malware.  Keep your endpoint protection up to date, and deny access to corporate networks if devices fail compliance tests.

That, and teaching your employees and co-workers to NOT click on shiat they get in email, Also, your company should have an email scanning/sandboxing/antivirus solution in place because that's how 99% of this shiat spreads.

We get tested regularly. IT sends out fake phishing emails. Some of them are REALLY good. It definitely helps teach employees not to click random shiat.

Now if we could get them to stop clicking shiat from their phones...


My last job did the fake phishing emails. People didn't care and still clicked it. Then we would try to make them watch a 4 minute video on how to not fall for that crap. didn't matter. Their boss said it was IT's job to stop everything and their team couldn't be bothered if something got through. I'm not there anymore since getting whammied. with shiat on a monthly basis for 3 years was too much IT bs to deal with

New place is WAY better
 
2021-12-01 12:10:24 PM  

markie_farkie: [Fark user image 850x466]

It's just not that complicated to stay ahead of malware.  Keep your endpoint protection up to date, and deny access to corporate networks if devices fail compliance tests.

That, and teaching your employees and co-workers to NOT click on shiat they get in email, Also, your company should have an email scanning/sandboxing/antivirus solution in place because that's how 99% of this shiat spreads.


Yup, what keeps me up at night is the thought of a user opening some weird PDF attachment, not some agent "hacking" into our firewall / VPN.
 
2021-12-01 12:14:44 PM  

eagles95: People didn't care and still clicked it.


I told one of the CIOs I did some consulting work for once that you could send out an email to every employee in plain text with nothing more than "If you stick a fork in your eyeball, $50,000 will appear in your bank account" and sure as shiat, you'd get a couple idiots that show up at the ER with forks in their eyes.
 
2021-12-01 12:34:27 PM  

markie_farkie: eagles95: People didn't care and still clicked it.

I told one of the CIOs I did some consulting work for once that you could send out an email to every employee in plain text with nothing more than "If you stick a fork in your eyeball, $50,000 will appear in your bank account" and sure as shiat, you'd get a couple idiots that show up at the ER with forks in their eyes.


This is far funnier than it has every right to be.
 
2021-12-01 12:43:09 PM  

markie_farkie: eagles95: People didn't care and still clicked it.

I told one of the CIOs I did some consulting work for once that you could send out an email to every employee in plain text with nothing more than "If you stick a fork in your eyeball, $50,000 will appear in your bank account" and sure as shiat, you'd get a couple idiots that show up at the ER with forks in their eyes.


Jesus christ this is so true. My new place has some morons but at least the bosses all understand that if shiat gets hacked, the moran employee who clicked on something will get termed.
 
2021-12-01 12:47:18 PM  
I wouldn't have a windows machine in my house.
 
2021-12-01 12:48:06 PM  

bambi121899: We get tested regularly. IT sends out fake phishing emails. Some of them are REALLY good. It definitely helps teach employees not to click random shiat.


My company does that. It's trained employees to only open emails from co-workers.  At least once a week, a corporate email goes out stating a previous email was legit. They gave everyone a $35 github credit.  Very few actually opened the email thinking it was a scam/phishing email. At the virtual party someone asked if everyone was enjoying their free meal.  Most responded with "what free meal?"

/gave the credit code to a friend out of work.
 
2021-12-01 12:52:20 PM  

Snaptastic: markie_farkie: [Fark user image image 850x466]

It's just not that complicated to stay ahead of malware.  Keep your endpoint protection up to date, and deny access to corporate networks if devices fail compliance tests.

That, and teaching your employees and co-workers to NOT click on shiat they get in email, Also, your company should have an email scanning/sandboxing/antivirus solution in place because that's how 99% of this shiat spreads.

The funny thing is that most workplaces send their employees "important" emails with links to click.

/Mine sent out a vaccination attestation email, then wondered why they were bombarded with calls about a scam, prompting them to send another email saying that the first email was legit.


We may work for the same place.

Isn't a follow-up email you say the first one is legit something that a scammer might think of?
 
2021-12-01 12:53:49 PM  

eagles95: markie_farkie: eagles95: People didn't care and still clicked it.

I told one of the CIOs I did some consulting work for once that you could send out an email to every employee in plain text with nothing more than "If you stick a fork in your eyeball, $50,000 will appear in your bank account" and sure as shiat, you'd get a couple idiots that show up at the ER with forks in their eyes.

Jesus christ this is so true. My new place has some morons but at least the bosses all understand that if shiat gets hacked, the moran employee who clicked on something will get termed.


I wish that were true here. The ones who inevitably fail the phishing test are board level or higher.
 
2021-12-01 12:57:09 PM  

ajgeek: markie_farkie: eagles95: People didn't care and still clicked it.

I told one of the CIOs I did some consulting work for once that you could send out an email to every employee in plain text with nothing more than "If you stick a fork in your eyeball, $50,000 will appear in your bank account" and sure as shiat, you'd get a couple idiots that show up at the ER with forks in their eyes.

This is far funnier TRUER than it has every right to be.


Fixed
 
2021-12-01 1:00:51 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-01 1:18:45 PM  

bighairyguy: Oh good.  I live in Ashburn, Virginia, data center capital of the world.  It was going to take me quite a while to unplug all those darn things.


Just do what Comcast does with their network equipment... plug everything into one power strip, then all you've got to do is throw one switch. Works great until someone uses the microwave and copy machine at the same time.
 
2021-12-01 1:23:10 PM  
Microsoft IT report on phishing incidence: Click Me
 
2021-12-01 1:33:53 PM  

ajgeek: Walker: Too late, I just put my computer thru the shredder.

That's a big shredder.


thumbs.gfycat.comView Full Size


Super Shredder, terrible gif.
 
2021-12-01 1:38:59 PM  

GardenWeasel: eagles95: markie_farkie: eagles95: People didn't care and still clicked it.

I told one of the CIOs I did some consulting work for once that you could send out an email to every employee in plain text with nothing more than "If you stick a fork in your eyeball, $50,000 will appear in your bank account" and sure as shiat, you'd get a couple idiots that show up at the ER with forks in their eyes.

Jesus christ this is so true. My new place has some morons but at least the bosses all understand that if shiat gets hacked, the moran employee who clicked on something will get termed.

I wish that were true here. The ones who inevitably fail the phishing test are board level or higher.


My last place the office manager and CEO both fell for shiat that cost the legal department well over $300k to "fix". When my old CIO had a follow up with them about things to look for they told him they wanted the whole IT team fired because we let in the message. I knew that it was time to bounce after that.
 
2021-12-01 1:42:40 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-12-01 2:01:03 PM  

eagles95: bambi121899: markie_farkie: [Fark user image image 850x466]

It's just not that complicated to stay ahead of malware.  Keep your endpoint protection up to date, and deny access to corporate networks if devices fail compliance tests.

That, and teaching your employees and co-workers to NOT click on shiat they get in email, Also, your company should have an email scanning/sandboxing/antivirus solution in place because that's how 99% of this shiat spreads.

We get tested regularly. IT sends out fake phishing emails. Some of them are REALLY good. It definitely helps teach employees not to click random shiat.

Now if we could get them to stop clicking shiat from their phones...

My last job did the fake phishing emails. People didn't care and still clicked it. Then we would try to make them watch a 4 minute video on how to not fall for that crap. didn't matter. Their boss said it was IT's job to stop everything and their team couldn't be bothered if something got through. I'm not there anymore since getting whammied. with shiat on a monthly basis for 3 years was too much IT bs to deal with

New place is WAY better


We have our fair share of those people, too. It's maddening. If they fail too many times, they have to take a course, so pretty much your video.

Yet they'd be the loudest people after getting hacked, "OMG, HOW DID THIS HAPPEN, WHY DIDN'T IT STOP IT HURR DURR."
 
2021-12-01 2:26:17 PM  
I got hit with the teddy bear virus.
 
2021-12-01 3:11:33 PM  

markie_farkie: teaching your employees and co-workers to NOT click on shiat they get in email,


loo, when the CEO wants ME to go out and buy some giftcards and says I can buy one for $500 for myself, you're darn tootin! I'm gonna listen to my boss.
 
2021-12-01 6:10:26 PM  

abhorrent1: I got hit with the teddy bear virus.


I remember that one!

Fark user image
 
2021-12-01 7:12:12 PM  

Interceptor1: Oh, it's another Windows thing. No wonder I didn't see it.

/ We Linux users seem to miss out on all of the fun.


I really hope this is satire

/We Linux users
//I'm dying
 
Oak
2021-12-01 8:48:24 PM  

eagles95: bambi121899: markie_farkie: [Fark user image image 850x466]

It's just not that complicated to stay ahead of malware.  Keep your endpoint protection up to date, and deny access to corporate networks if devices fail compliance tests.

That, and teaching your employees and co-workers to NOT click on shiat they get in email, Also, your company should have an email scanning/sandboxing/antivirus solution in place because that's how 99% of this shiat spreads.

We get tested regularly. IT sends out fake phishing emails. Some of them are REALLY good. It definitely helps teach employees not to click random shiat.

Now if we could get them to stop clicking shiat from their phones...

My last job did the fake phishing emails. People didn't care and still clicked it. Then we would try to make them watch a 4 minute video on how to not fall for that crap. didn't matter. Their boss said it was IT's job to stop everything and their team couldn't be bothered if something got through. I'm not there anymore since getting whammied. with shiat on a monthly basis for 3 years was too much IT bs to deal with

New place is WAY better


Some stocks need shortin'.
 
2021-12-01 11:13:45 PM  

markie_farkie: [Fark user image 850x466]

It's just not that complicated to stay ahead of malware.  Keep your endpoint protection up to date, and deny access to corporate networks if devices fail compliance tests.

That, and teaching your employees and co-workers to NOT click on shiat they get in email, Also, your company should have an email scanning/sandboxing/antivirus solution in place because that's how 99% of this shiat spreads.


That generic dialog box that doesn't identify itself which you just clicked "update" on was the malware.
 
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