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(Patheos)   $camvangelist Robin Bullock: Give me your money or God may cause your car to have a blow-out   (friendlyatheist.patheos.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Circumcision, Automobile, Judaism, Brit milah, involved angels, Robin Bullock, part of an interview yesterday, best deal  
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1785 clicks; posted to Politics » on 01 Dec 2021 at 10:05 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-12-01 9:35:42 AM  
WHERE IS YOUR PLASTIC JESUS NOW?!?!
 
2021-12-01 9:52:15 AM  
He could, but if I don't give you money then God might send some hard pipe layin' motherf*ckers to collect on your gambling debts.

I trust my relationship with the Universe enough to risk it. Mainly because the Long Dark is reassuring in its utter lack of caring about me, you, or anything that either of us has ever loved. Causality is the only real condition you need to worry about. Actions beget reactions.
 
2021-12-01 9:55:53 AM  
"And when you title, you're circumcising your money. You're dedicating it to God."

So you're saying that you want us to cut the ends off a bunch of bills and send you the cut ends?
 
2021-12-01 10:01:19 AM  

Martian_Astronomer: "And when you title, you're circumcising your money. You're dedicating it to God."

So you're saying that you want us to cut the ends off a bunch of bills and send you the cut ends?


He's saying God relies on tips, something like a Starbucks barista.
 
2021-12-01 10:09:21 AM  
That guy looks like Paul Scheer in a wig doing improv.
 
2021-12-01 10:12:40 AM  
My car could use a nice blowout.  It's a mess.

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2021-12-01 10:16:27 AM  
FTFA: ...and that God lives in a cube made of gelatin

belloflostsouls.netView Full Size

KNEEL BEFORE YOUR GOD!
 
2021-12-01 10:16:40 AM  
Give us money or our supposedly loving god will make bad things happen to you.
 
2021-12-01 10:16:56 AM  
Unlikely.

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2021-12-01 10:16:59 AM  
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2021-12-01 10:20:25 AM  

Psychopusher: FTFA: ...and that God lives in a cube made of gelatin

[belloflostsouls.net image 525x270]
KNEEL BEFORE YOUR GOD!


This is their god:

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He's made of gold so you know that he's the bigliest god around
 
2021-12-01 10:23:12 AM  
i1.wp.comView Full Size
 
2021-12-01 10:24:47 AM  

Martian_Astronomer: "And when you title, you're circumcising your money. You're dedicating it to God."

So you're saying that you want us to cut the ends off a bunch of bills and send you the cut ends?


Circumcision

Just the thought of it...

You know what they do with the "trimmings" from that..?

Chewing gum.
 
2021-12-01 10:27:25 AM  
Just like it says in the Bible in GoodYear 1:1-7
 
2021-12-01 10:28:13 AM  
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2021-12-01 10:30:40 AM  

dildo tontine: [i1.wp.com image 756x1000]


Sadly, Cheeseface the dog was actually shot to death a few years later.
 
2021-12-01 10:33:35 AM  
"Your circumcised tithes..."

Do they use foreskins to patch car tires?
 
2021-12-01 10:34:03 AM  
Yikes! I can't imagine what pond scum he crawled out from under but it likely needs a shower after being so close to him. Like he's aware enough to know how devistzting something like that would be to a poor person, but he's going to use fear of it to extract the money they'll need when it inevidibly does blow out. that's like 3rd tier rancid dogshiat.
 
2021-12-01 10:37:38 AM  
omg.blogView Full Size

'Sup bros. Did someone mention something about blow outs? Siiiiiick!
 
2021-12-01 10:38:02 AM  

MrBallou: Martian_Astronomer: "And when you title, you're circumcising your money. You're dedicating it to God."

So you're saying that you want us to cut the ends off a bunch of bills and send you the cut ends?

He's saying God relies on tips, something like a Starbucks barista.


"Terrible service. Asked for a decaf latte, instead got cancer and a plague of locust after a two year wait. When I complained, the staff was very unprofessional, and told me it was far better than I deserved. One star."
 
2021-12-01 10:39:48 AM  
I'm thinking of the poor slob who got the bad tire and ends up dying with his whole family in a fiery crash. Even though he was a model Christian his whole life.
Well, at least he'll go to Heaven.
(Well, unless the Reformed Lutherans are right and it's a crapshoot.)
 
2021-12-01 10:39:54 AM  
Guarantee the guys who do my tires are high af and they can only do their job with supernatural assistance.  They do good work, so that proves it, libruls!
 
2021-12-01 10:40:21 AM  
is there a SCOTUS thread out there that I just can't find?
 
2021-12-01 10:42:23 AM  
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And now for desert......who wants cool whip on their slice of god?
 
2021-12-01 10:43:21 AM  
God lives in a cube of gelatin.

How you can tell someone dropped acid and went to Olde Country Buffet without telling me you dropped acid and went to Olde Country Buffet.
 
2021-12-01 10:43:30 AM  
i.makeagif.comView Full Size
 
2021-12-01 10:43:57 AM  

I-K-Rumba: [Fark user image image 311x162]
And now for desert......who wants cool whip on their slice of god?


Oh! Can I have a red slice of God?
 
2021-12-01 10:45:05 AM  
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2021-12-01 10:45:11 AM  
Now we have an admission that this is a devine protection racket. Real nice family you have there, shame if they got smote.

/Go read the book of Job to see to what lengths God will go.
 
2021-12-01 10:45:17 AM  
It's amazing people end up following these extremely obvious charlatans.

I'm reminded of the Nigerian Prince scams, where the scammers try to make it really obvious it's a scam, because that filters out everyone except the most gullible and desperate so they don't have to waste human effort on people who are going to realize what's going on before they send money.
 
2021-12-01 10:45:56 AM  
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Where's your God now?  No.  Really.  He was in one of these.  I affirm and or attest.
 
2021-12-01 10:48:12 AM  
These guys really really love money.
 
2021-12-01 10:50:27 AM  
That gelatin cube is really more of a rhombus.
 
2021-12-01 10:51:52 AM  

70Ford: [Fark user image 493x507]


Yeah, that would be my reaction too.
 
2021-12-01 10:56:30 AM  

Breaker Breaker: [Fark user image 640x800]


That reminds of a billboard I saw years and years ago. Way before cell let alone our smart phone with 16 MP camera. Anyway it was a full sized roadside billboard with a pic of jesus with out stretched arms and the caption "I am coming"
Someone (not me) drug out a 30 foot ladder and climbed up and in about the same sized letters already on the board wrote "faster, faster".  It was awesome.
 
2021-12-01 10:59:16 AM  
In negative world, the most prominent advocates for vaccines are themselves anti-vaxx.
 
2021-12-01 11:03:46 AM  

AstroJesus: That gelatin cube is really more of a rhombus.


Heretic
 
2021-12-01 11:04:58 AM  
Balls.
 
2021-12-01 11:07:24 AM  
I dunno, I prefer my money uncut. It just feels better to the touch and it's more fun to spend.
 
2021-12-01 11:32:45 AM  
Religious people are fools.  There is a link right above this from a butthurt subby crying about it.

Religious
People
Are
Fools.
 
2021-12-01 11:48:38 AM  

grokca: AstroJesus: That gelatin cube is really more of a rhombus.

Heretic


Gelatin desserts are a Mormon staple.
Is Bullock a crypto-Mormon?
Inquiring minds don't give a fark.
 
2021-12-01 11:56:57 AM  
I've watched Bullock say some farked up shiat on Right Wing Watch (we monitor nuts so you don't give them clicks!) for years, but this God as hitman racketeer bit is whack even for him. Screw that greedy shameless garbage person.

The good deal on tires thing is cool though-- if you were on the fence about saving your family from a fiery crash, the zombie tire guy throwing in free tire balancing might seal the deal.

/Put that goblet down! The sacrament is for closers!
 
2021-12-01 12:04:47 PM  
Hats off to anyone who is able to fleece these morons with what is apparently nothing more than improvisational poetry. And it's not taxable!
 
2021-12-01 12:05:19 PM  

Martian_Astronomer: "And when you title, you're circumcising your money. You're dedicating it to God."

So you're saying that you want us to cut the ends off a bunch of bills and send you the cut ends?


Fark user imageView Full Size


I second your wtf
 
2021-12-01 1:39:31 PM  
So he's saying that god or its angels are watching and activity choosing to do nothing?

And why, even if they were real, would I chose to worship a bunch of farkers?
 
2021-12-01 1:59:54 PM  
I wasted my precious 30 seconds reading that steaming pile in Harold Hill's voice.
 
kab
2021-12-01 2:13:22 PM  
Just think, there are people farking stupid enough to believe this shiat.  And they're allowed to drive.   And vote.
 
2021-12-01 2:39:02 PM  

kab: Just think, there are people farking stupid enough to believe this shiat.  And they're allowed to drive.   And vote.


and own guns
 
2021-12-01 7:22:12 PM  

Cheron: Now we have an admission that this is a devine protection racket. Real nice family you have there, shame if they got smote.

/Go read the book of Job to see to what lengths God will go.


That's just the OT god. The NT god is just 'meh'.

I see people like Bullock, Osteen, Bakker and wonder why they are still around.

It seems the NT god is fine with grifters, because he had a history of smiting people who have done far less crimes, yet these hucksters are selling their snake oil
 
2021-12-01 11:27:24 PM  
I wish I was as soulless as these evangelical "church" leaders.
 
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