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(Palm Beach Post)   Oh, sure, satire. That's just what the Satan-worshipping Demoncrats WANT you to believe. I want to see the Manager of Satire, please. Get the Manager. Stop filming me   (palmbeachpost.com) divider line
    More: Satire, Hillary Rodham Clinton, Bill Clinton, pedophileDemocrats, Federal Bureau of Investigation, Satanic Pedophile Democrats, massive child, Barack Obama, Democratic Party  
•       •       •

4005 clicks; posted to Politics » on 30 Nov 2021 at 9:36 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



41 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-11-30 6:20:50 PM  
There's no discernible difference between this satire and what Q/Republicans actually believe.

May as well just post screenshots from some chan.
 
2021-11-30 9:01:32 PM  
Satanic Pedophile Democrats are alleged to have kidnapped hundreds of thousands of children each year, or around a million since 2016.  There's a viral report that 35,000 of them have been caged in tunnels under Central Park.  Many also are said to have been trafficked inside storage cabinets.

No it's true. Given the birth rate of about 3.7 million a year in the US, we're stealing every 1 in 20 babies. We've truly become extremely efficient at stealing everyone's children and nobody noticing, which means on average we've stolen a child from over 1/10 of all families without anyone noticing.  And not a single one of us has gotten caught.  And this is just for profit. Go ahead and start your "civil war" and we won't just steal a small number of your children for profit; we'll steal all of them... for fun. And you won't catch a single one of us--or them--ever again, because you never have. Not even once. Not even with 4 full years controlling all branches of government.

Be happy all we want is to tax the rich, give people free healthcare, and increase the minimum wage. Be happy. Or else.

/*eyeroll*
 
2021-11-30 9:42:34 PM  
Really played with Poe's Law there until the author's bio line at the end.
 
2021-11-30 9:43:05 PM  
Honestly? Satan only gets a bad press because he forces the bigoted god-botherers to confront their behavior.
 
2021-11-30 9:43:29 PM  
The parents must all just crisis actors, pretending nothing is happening while their kids are being kidnapped by the millions.

/Somehow it's predominantly the (R)s that get caught dabbling with this shiat
//Which must be extra proof that it's the (D)s behind it all

And to be fair:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-30 9:44:19 PM  
Jim Carroll?

The Jim Carroll Band - People Who Died (Official Audio)
Youtube tf4d7VxcQ30
 
2021-11-30 9:46:56 PM  
Along with the Babylon Bee, this is Fake News You Can Trust.
 
2021-11-30 9:51:18 PM  
The point of satire isn't to sound more reasonable than the real life people you're mocking. That's not how it's done.
 
2021-11-30 9:55:54 PM  

Excelsior: The parents must all just crisis actors, pretending nothing is happening while their kids are being kidnapped by the millions.

/Somehow it's predominantly the (R)s that get caught dabbling with this shiat
//Which must be extra proof that it's the (D)s behind it all

And to be fair:
[Fark user image 750x761]


Wasn't it like 10 million?

I saw this story on Yahoo and in no way was it labeled Satire until you got ALL the way to the bottom. I know it's just a news aggregator, but seriously, that's some farked up shiat.
 
2021-11-30 9:57:23 PM  
Isn't it proof enough that from the millions of children Hillary, her Muslim lover, and The Hollywood Elites abducted and sexually molested in the name of Socialism none are here to tell their tale?  They're dead.  I bet their names were used to stuff ballot boxes.  Well done, Satan.
 
2021-11-30 10:04:19 PM  
Isn't satire supposed to be funny at some point?
 
2021-11-30 10:07:27 PM  

Jeff5: Isn't satire supposed to be funny at some point?


Not if you're Andy Borowitz
 
2021-11-30 10:13:42 PM  

Professor_Doctor: There's no discernible difference between this satire and what Q/Republicans actually believe.

May as well just post screenshots from some chan.


Yup, while there were a few funnies in that article it pretty much spelled out what many of those nuts actually think is true which just bums me out.
 
2021-11-30 10:16:49 PM  
Oh no! I just used one of my free articles in Palm Beach Post clicking that! Only 4 left. Oh noooo
 
2021-11-30 10:21:54 PM  

spiralscratch: Really played with Poe's Law there until the author's bio line at the end.


"Jim Carroll is an attorney and Democratic activist from Riviera Beach."

Well, it seems subby gave an accurate description.
 
2021-11-30 10:24:37 PM  

ifky: Jim Carroll?

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/tf4d7Vxc​Q30]


Beat me by only 48 minutes. Next time! For additional listening:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tf4d7​V​xcQ30
 
2021-11-30 10:26:19 PM  

10Speed: ifky: Jim Carroll?

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/tf4d7Vxc​Q30]

Beat me by only 48 minutes. Next time! For additional listening:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGNT2​d​4BhGQ
 
2021-11-30 10:29:23 PM  
It amazes me that the Onion is still a thing

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-30 10:36:16 PM  

koder: Satanic Pedophile Democrats are alleged to have kidnapped hundreds of thousands of children each year, or around a million since 2016.  There's a viral report that 35,000 of them have been caged in tunnels under Central Park.  Many also are said to have been trafficked inside storage cabinets.

No it's true. Given the birth rate of about 3.7 million a year in the US, we're stealing every 1 in 20 babies. We've truly become extremely efficient at stealing everyone's children and nobody noticing, which means on average we've stolen a child from over 1/10 of all families without anyone noticing.  And not a single one of us has gotten caught.  And this is just for profit. Go ahead and start your "civil war" and we won't just steal a small number of your children for profit; we'll steal all of them... for fun. And you won't catch a single one of us--or them--ever again, because you never have. Not even once. Not even with 4 full years controlling all branches of government.

Be happy all we want is to tax the rich, give people free healthcare, and increase the minimum wage. Be happy. Or else.

/*eyeroll*


Well, it's not like you can re-virgin the kids. They're single-use-only, like a condom. That's why we need so many of them! There are only a few hundred Satanic Pedophile Democrats, but each one needs a couple of dozen a month. Why do you think Bill Clinton was hospitalized a few weeks ago? He's been falling behind on his numbers!

The kids were building up in his basement and he tried to catch up.  It's a marathon, Bill, not a sprint!
 
2021-11-30 10:47:30 PM  

The Irresponsible Captain: It amazes me that the Onion is still a thing

[Fark user image 425x602]


The past decade has forced industries like virology and satire to step up their game considerably.
 
2021-11-30 11:02:13 PM  

Jeff5: Isn't satire supposed to be funny at some point?


Subby's blog sucks.
 
2021-11-30 11:07:18 PM  
Be careful sharing stuff like this. It is how religions are started......
 
2021-11-30 11:07:51 PM  

10Speed: 10Speed: ifky: Jim Carroll?

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/tf4d7Vxc​Q30]

Beat me by only 48 minutes. Next time! For additional listening:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGNT2d​4BhGQ


To embed a YouTube video in your post, you can use this button

Fark user imageView Full Size

And paste the URL here in the popup:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-30 11:29:35 PM  

Lochsteppe: The Irresponsible Captain: It amazes me that the Onion is still a thing

[Fark user image 425x602]

The past decade has forced industries like virology and satire to step up their game considerably.


In my opinion, The Onion is the gold standard.  The early stuff holds up.
Fark user imageView Full Size

/not THE defining example
//what I had at hand
///zzzzz
 
2021-11-30 11:49:45 PM  
I want so badly to read the comments, but not badly enough to create an account.
 
2021-11-30 11:54:37 PM  

ox45tallboy: 10Speed: 10Speed: ifky: Jim Carroll?

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/tf4d7Vxc​Q30]

Beat me by only 48 minutes. Next time! For additional listening:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGNT2d​4BhGQ

To embed a YouTube video in your post, you can use this button

[Fark user image 759x101]
And paste the URL here in the popup:

[Fark user image 535x346]


Thanks, I guess?
 
2021-12-01 12:06:52 AM  
From over a dozen years ago:

Freeperville thread "A Partial List of Democratic Pedophiles." of March 5, 2008 Ann Coulter links to it that same day on her own website. O.P. lists nine Democratic political figures who faced some level of legal issues for allegedly or actually committing sexual crimes against minors.. Comments add two more, for a total of eleven. Some commenters try to say that there are no Republican ones, yet the O.P.'s list includes one (Congressman Dan Crane, who teamed with Democratic Congressman Garry Studds in teh Congressional page sex-abuse scandal), and the OP posted Comment #1 which says, "An ongoing research project intended to counter the list at armchair subversive. Please feel free to add."

This is the list at Armchair Subversive (on BlogSpot) which is even older than that Freeper thread. It lists over eighty GOP political figures caught in sex crimes against minors.

• Comment #16 of the above-linked Freeper thread links to Republican Sex Offenders which adds considerably to the Armchair Subversive list and has about a hundred names.

So even in Freeperville, in a thread dedicated to the subject, as of early 2008, about an order of magnitude more Republican than Democratic political figures were able to be listed, referenced, or linked to.
 
2021-12-01 12:17:13 AM  

Professor_Doctor: There's no discernible difference between this satire and what Q/Republicans actually believe.

May as well just post screenshots from some chan.


It's an insanely fine line.

But, for a moment, let's say this is an accurate reflection of their beliefs. If Dems are murding as many kids as they claim to produce adrenochrome, you wouldn't need a conspiracy to try and figure out what's happening. There would be no more kids left.

Also, if Dems are satanic pedophiles who want kids to abuse and murder for chemicals, why are they pro Roe v Wade?
 
2021-12-01 12:34:10 AM  
North Carolina warehouse worker Edgar Maddison Welch has come closest to catching one. He stormed a Washington, D.C. pizzeria with an AR-15 in 2016 to break up a child-trafficking ring he heard Hillary Clinton was running.  But Hillary must have caught wind of the planned raid and cleared out before he showed up.

... taking the basement with her.
 
2021-12-01 1:12:37 AM  

Penguin_named_Nori: North Carolina warehouse worker Edgar Maddison Welch has come closest to catching one. He stormed a Washington, D.C. pizzeria with an AR-15 in 2016 to break up a child-trafficking ring he heard Hillary Clinton was running.  But Hillary must have caught wind of the planned raid and cleared out before he showed up.

... taking the basement with her.


Calling all cars, be on the lookout for a bloodthirsty witch dragging a basement behind her. Suspect is not repeat not armed, she is a commie who hates guns. But avert your gaze lest she curse you!
 
2021-12-01 1:13:18 AM  

urethra_franklin: Professor_Doctor: There's no discernible difference between this satire and what Q/Republicans actually believe.

May as well just post screenshots from some chan.

It's an insanely fine line.

But, for a moment, let's say this is an accurate reflection of their beliefs. If Dems are murding as many kids as they claim to produce adrenochrome, you wouldn't need a conspiracy to try and figure out what's happening. There would be no more kids left.

Also, if Dems are satanic pedophiles who want kids to abuse and murder for chemicals, why are they pro Roe v Wade?


Because they don't actually abort them, they transfer them into host mothers so they can give birth at Epstein Island or Mar-a-Lago.
 
2021-12-01 1:13:40 AM  

urethra_franklin: Professor_Doctor: There's no discernible difference between this satire and what Q/Republicans actually believe.

May as well just post screenshots from some chan.

It's an insanely fine line.

But, for a moment, let's say this is an accurate reflection of their beliefs. If Dems are murding as many kids as they claim to produce adrenochrome, you wouldn't need a conspiracy to try and figure out what's happening. There would be no more kids left.

Also, if Dems are satanic pedophiles who want kids to abuse and murder for chemicals, why are they pro Roe v Wade?


The only thing consistent about republican doctrines is that they are inconsistent.
 
2021-12-01 1:18:27 AM  

vsavatar: I want so badly to read the comments, but not badly enough to create an account.


You & me both; saved us aggravation, really.
 
2021-12-01 1:40:11 AM  
assets.atlasobscura.comView Full Size
 
2021-12-01 4:42:01 AM  
Is "needlessly dying of a respiratory disease we have vaccines for, just to trigger a reaction from the libs" on the list? Because that one's been getting a lot of use lately.
 
2021-12-01 6:51:22 AM  

fredbox: urethra_franklin: Professor_Doctor: There's no discernible difference between this satire and what Q/Republicans actually believe.

May as well just post screenshots from some chan.

It's an insanely fine line.

But, for a moment, let's say this is an accurate reflection of their beliefs. If Dems are murding as many kids as they claim to produce adrenochrome, you wouldn't need a conspiracy to try and figure out what's happening. There would be no more kids left.

Also, if Dems are satanic pedophiles who want kids to abuse and murder for chemicals, why are they pro Roe v Wade?

Because they don't actually abort them, they transfer them into host mothers so they can give birth at Epstein Island or Mar-a-Lago.


Oh, right. I forgot about that part. Mea culpa.

/lol
 
2021-12-01 10:31:14 AM  

Jeff5: Isn't satire supposed to be funny at some point?


No.  Juvenalian satire is meant to shock, terrify, and provoke thought.  Both 1984and Animal Farmare prime examples of Juvenalian satire.
 
2021-12-01 1:21:43 PM  

COMALite J: From over a dozen years ago:

• Freeperville thread "A Partial List of Democratic Pedophiles." of March 5, 2008 Ann Coulter links to it that same day on her own website. O.P. lists nine Democratic political figures who faced some level of legal issues for allegedly or actually committing sexual crimes against minors.. Comments add two more, for a total of eleven. Some commenters try to say that there are no Republican ones, yet the O.P.'s list includes one (Congressman Dan Crane, who teamed with Democratic Congressman Garry Studds in teh Congressional page sex-abuse scandal), and the OP posted Comment #1 which says, "An ongoing research project intended to counter the list at armchair subversive. Please feel free to add."

• This is the list at Armchair Subversive (on BlogSpot) which is even older than that Freeper thread. It lists over eighty GOP political figures caught in sex crimes against minors.

• Comment #16 of the above-linked Freeper thread links to Republican Sex Offenders which adds considerably to the Armchair Subversive list and has about a hundred names.

So even in Freeperville, in a thread dedicated to the subject, as of early 2008, about an order of magnitude more Republican than Democratic political figures were able to be listed, referenced, or linked to.


Well, of course we all know that the Demon-crats all want to indoctrinate our children to be homosexual transistors, so really they're all child molesters!
 
2021-12-01 1:38:08 PM  

ox45tallboy: 10Speed: 10Speed: ifky: Jim Carroll?

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/tf4d7Vxc​Q30]

Beat me by only 48 minutes. Next time! For additional listening:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGNT2d​4BhGQ

To embed a YouTube video in your post, you can use this button

[Fark user image 759x101]
And paste the URL here in the popup:

[Fark user image 535x346]


Yeah, that's all well a good... fancy impedingly opulent and all.
But how the hell do you expect us to do this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w​9​WgXcQ
 
2021-12-01 8:38:02 PM  

special20: But how the hell do you expect us to do this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9​WgXcQ


Like this.

Spongebob did WHAT???!!!!!????
Youtube RvBwypGUkPo
 
2021-12-01 8:39:44 PM  

10Speed: ox45tallboy: 10Speed: 10Speed: ifky: Jim Carroll?

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/tf4d7Vxc​Q30]

Beat me by only 48 minutes. Next time! For additional listening:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGNT2d​4BhGQ

To embed a YouTube video in your post, you can use this button

[Fark user image 759x101]
And paste the URL here in the popup:

[Fark user image 535x346]

Thanks, I guess?


Our devs work hard on things like this, it makes them feel all happy inside when people use them.
 
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