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(WJLA Washington DC)   Man steals erectile dysfunction drugs when insurance won't pay for them, refuses a chance to avoid prosecution by returning them to the pharmacy, will do hard time   (wjla.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, Bethesda man, Erectile dysfunction, worth of erectile dysfunction, Cops, pharmacy  
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1473 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Nov 2021 at 6:35 PM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



50 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-11-30 6:37:39 PM  
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2021-11-30 6:38:17 PM  
That brings a stiff penalty.  Hopefully he just gets fined a few caps or it'll blow up in his face, vault dweller.
 
2021-11-30 6:38:18 PM  
He'll be flaccid is jail, as God intended
 
2021-11-30 6:38:20 PM  
cost seems oddly specific...$369.
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jeez
 
2021-11-30 6:38:23 PM  
Sentenced to four hours.  But your hands are tied.  And the chicks or dudes NTTATWWT can only point and giggle.
 
2021-11-30 6:38:28 PM  
A millennial, unwilling to pay...

Give me a break...

/boomer
 
2021-11-30 6:38:54 PM  
Men have rights to their bodies that will not be denied... It seems...
 
2021-11-30 6:39:15 PM  
"A millennial"?
Who gives a f**k what pseudo "generation" he belongs to?
F**k the media with this bullshiat.
 
2021-11-30 6:40:42 PM  
Stealing a prescription WITH YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS ON IT doesn't seem like the brightest move.
 
2021-11-30 6:42:15 PM  
Police say that the suspect in question was easily identified by, uh... "a prominent feature."
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2021-11-30 6:43:12 PM  
Unemployed, thirty-six years old, lives with his mother, can't sleep and can't get it up without meds?  I can't even bring myself to make fun of him.
 
2021-11-30 6:47:25 PM  
That's gotta be at least 3 pills retail.
 
2021-11-30 6:47:51 PM  
Bad enough to be dealing with ED, but now the whole county knows about it.  Us too.
 
2021-11-30 6:48:04 PM  
 
2021-11-30 6:50:00 PM  
He'll beat it in court.
 
2021-11-30 6:50:32 PM  
Returned the prescription medication? Is that a thing or is it just the spirit of the thing? Hell, grocery stores around here won't take returns on unopened canned dog food.
 
2021-11-30 6:53:31 PM  
In other news, pharmacies will still resell medication that has a broken chain of custody due to being stolen and in another person's possession.
 
2021-11-30 6:53:36 PM  
What a dick.
 
2021-11-30 6:55:36 PM  
This is who I picture behind every regular Poltab handle.
 
2021-11-30 7:01:24 PM  

jso2897: "A millennial"?
Who gives a f**k what pseudo "generation" he belongs to?
F**k the media with this bullshiat.


WJLA is a Sinclair-owned, operated, and complicit station.  If there's shiat to be thrown, they'll throw it.
 
2021-11-30 7:05:01 PM  

TheSubjunctive: Returned the prescription medication? Is that a thing or is it just the spirit of the thing? Hell, grocery stores around here won't take returns on unopened canned dog food.


They weren't going to resell the meds, they just didn't want to prosecute (for some reason or another) and were trying to give him an out.
 
2021-11-30 7:06:56 PM  

TheSubjunctive: Returned the prescription medication? Is that a thing or is it just the spirit of the thing? Hell, grocery stores around here won't take returns on unopened canned dog food.


Probably just the spirit of the thing. "Return the dick pills and we'll pretend you never stole them in the first place" -- like that, except the part where they would have binned the pills instead of restocking them.
 
2021-11-30 7:07:25 PM  

jso2897: "A millennial"?
Who gives a f**k what pseudo "generation" he belongs to?
F**k the media with this bullshiat.


OK, Boomer.
 
2021-11-30 7:09:07 PM  

TrashcanMan: jso2897: "A millennial"?
Who gives a f**k what pseudo "generation" he belongs to?
F**k the media with this bullshiat.

OK, Boomer.


Yes, actually, and you can bite me.
 
2021-11-30 7:10:07 PM  
According to court records, the 36-year-old is unemployed and lives with his mother, roughly half a mile from the Giant grocery store where the alleged theft occurred.

What does he need dick pills for? He's not getting laid.
 
2021-11-30 7:10:37 PM  
boner pills i understand (for some men), but this guy needs insomnia meds to fall asleep right after sex.
 
2021-11-30 7:10:43 PM  

jso2897: "A millennial"?
Who gives a f**k what pseudo "generation" he belongs to?
F**k the media with this bullshiat.


Hey they gotta keep us peasants fighting about something right?
 
2021-11-30 7:12:31 PM  
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Let the punishment fit the crime

 
2021-11-30 7:18:14 PM  
I hope he doesn't get off too easily, he's a hardened criminal

/penis
 
2021-11-30 7:20:11 PM  
Here is my question.  Did he need the boner pills to jerk off?  Or does he just have some serious game?

Hey baby, want to come back to my mom's house?

(He does say it with a great deal of charm)
 
2021-11-30 7:30:01 PM  

Snort: That's gotta be at least 3 pills retail.


GoodRX says that you can get 30 pills of the viagara generic for less than $15 at Giant in the DC area.

I wonder if this is like the time when there were some cars stolen from Baltimore harbor, like 20 some years ago.  The cars were in the storage yard to be transferred to the dealership, but supposedly the charges were dropped.

One theory going around was that either the maker (Honda maybe?) didn't want it known what their actual cost was for the vehicle, which would have to be declared if it was prosecuted.  Or maybe how much that particular dealership was paying for the vehicle, depending on who officially 'owned' the vehicle when it was stolen.

So in this case, it might be something like Giant doesn't want people to learn that those $369 in boner pills only costs them $10.  Or their supplier doesn't want it known that Giant is getting them for significantly less than what they charge independent pharmacies.
 
2021-11-30 7:33:06 PM  
"Shutta snatched both prescriptions from the pharmacist, abandoned his shopping cart with groceries, and fled the store on foot

Guy's got his priorities
 
2021-11-30 7:34:23 PM  
I wonder if he'd planned to sell these pills on the black market. With his discount - either insurance, or five-finger - he could've made some quick illicit cash.

Obviously the guy's not too bright.
 
2021-11-30 7:35:25 PM  
Yeah but is Morgan Fairchild ok?
 
2021-11-30 7:45:56 PM  

Masta Beta: According to court records, the 36-year-old is unemployed and lives with his mother, roughly half a mile from the Giant grocery store where the alleged theft occurred.

What does he need dick pills for? He's not getting laid.


Aha! why he got caught, Sherlock. So mom wouldn't think he's still a virgin. "They'll  think I'm gonna get some tonight with my dysfunctional pee pee. Hee hee tickle tickle "
 
2021-11-30 7:49:35 PM  
He couldn't return the medication, as it was already used.

Used how? What do you think went into that German doctor's unofficial vaccine?
 
2021-11-30 7:53:31 PM  
Insomnia pills and viagra?
Doesn't he know you can sleep with a light on, but not a hard on?
 
2021-11-30 7:55:12 PM  

Masta Beta: According to court records, the 36-year-old is unemployed and lives with his mother, roughly half a mile from the Giant grocery store where the alleged theft occurred.

What does he need dick pills for? He's not getting laid.


We probably do not want to see his pr0n search history.
 
2021-11-30 8:00:16 PM  

Unobtanium: We probably do not want to see his pr0n search history.


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2021-11-30 8:01:57 PM  

ScottRiqui: Unemployed, thirty-six years old, lives with his mother, can't sleep and can't get it up without meds?  I can't even bring myself to make fun of him.


Given the details, I'm guessing the guy has a few life issues going on that need to be addressed.

Instead they imprisoning the man or imposing fines he'll likely be unable to pay, it'd probably be a wiser move to get some mandatory counseling and employment assistance lined up - I dunno, maybe as requirements through probation?
 
2021-11-30 8:08:42 PM  
1) what's surprising about a freeloading guy being able to land a freeloading girlfriend? I've seen parents enable worse behavior.
2) I've heard of young guys taking ED medicine...NOT to cure ED, but to have longer-lasting and/or more erections*.

/this guy's an idiot, and now he's a criminal idiot
//I would not bet on him having a girlfriend, just talking about possibilities
//*I would assume playing with the plumbing, especially that early on isn't good for a person
 
2021-11-30 8:14:47 PM  
Clearly he should have tried to overthrow the government instead.
 
2021-11-30 8:15:37 PM  

TheSubjunctive: Returned the prescription medication? Is that a thing or is it just the spirit of the thing? Hell, grocery stores around here won't take returns on unopened canned dog food.


Returning unused prescription medication is encouraged. The idea is, the fewer unused medications floating around out here in the wild the better. We actually have a relative we have to be cautious around because he'd jump at the chance to lift one of the pills I have to take.
I naïvely let him stay with us for a couple nights when he was having some personal issues and the jackass lifted half a bottle of an rx that had been filled the day before.

Last I checked though, medication that's been returned must be destroyed.
Because they never know if it's been swapped out for something counterfeit, and they'd rather not run the liability risk of handing it back over the counter, then having that customer die or have adverse affects.
 
2021-11-30 8:17:02 PM  

lilbjorn: Clearly he should have tried to overthrow the government instead.


It certainly gave quite a few Trumpers a stiffie.
 
2021-11-30 8:20:56 PM  

lilbjorn: lilbjorn: Clearly he should have tried to overthrow the government instead.

It certainly gave quite a few Trumpers a stiffie.


What are you waiting for? Get busy, make that money
 
2021-11-30 8:49:28 PM  
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2021-11-30 9:14:49 PM  

Masta Beta: According to court records, the 36-year-old is unemployed and lives with his mother, roughly half a mile from the Giant grocery store where the alleged theft occurred.

What does he need dick pills for? He's not getting laid.


Are you sure?.........
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2021-11-30 9:21:51 PM  

darkman2000: Insomnia pills and viagra?
Doesn't he know you can sleep with a light on, but not a hard on?


It prevents him from rolling out of bed.
 
2021-11-30 10:28:05 PM  

Masta Beta: According to court records, the 36-year-old is unemployed and lives with his mother, roughly half a mile from the Giant grocery store where the alleged theft occurred.

What does he need dick pills for? He's not getting laid.


You don't know what kind of relationship he has with his mother.
Never presume.
 
2021-11-30 10:43:06 PM  
My dad worked out of state for a while, and ended up in an apartment over a doctor's office. Specifically, a urologist. Apparently he prevented at least three break ins while living there because he'd come out and yell at the idiots trying to pry open windows after hours.

Said urologist had no narcotics in office, but did apparently keep things like viagra on hand. Desperate men and desperate measures, I guess?

/CSS
 
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