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(Slate)   "My mother-in-law puts the AW in 'law' every Christmas with my kids, overshadowing my gifts with her own. Can I get her to stop?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Awkward, Family, Christmas, husband share, upset Kelsey, little black girl, Kelsey, last year, adult children  
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473 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 29 Nov 2021 at 11:20 AM (8 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



34 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-11-29 9:19:05 AM  
Get with your father-in-law and create a power struggle and oust your mother-in-law.
 
2021-11-29 10:17:44 AM  
It's what grandparents do.

Get over it.
 
2021-11-29 10:34:11 AM  
We've had the "we're trying to reduce the volume of gifts" conversation with all grandparents, a few times. My house is buried in toys; my daughter doesn't play with 95% of her toys.

I think we were able to turn the corner with "look, it's all way too much. Honestly, we're going to donate the majority of what she receives because we don't have room and it has become ridiculous." Grandparents want to spoil grandchildren; when I was a kid that meant, like one nice gift from my grandmother. These days that translates into 10 impulse buys plus one or two nicer gifts. Mostly junk. It's pointless.
 
2021-11-29 10:44:50 AM  
Fark her Dad.
 
2021-11-29 11:20:18 AM  
Nobody ever complains when you give them cash.
 
2021-11-29 11:22:08 AM  
Butt stuff.
 
2021-11-29 11:53:17 AM  
If the kids are over the whole Sanity Clause thing, advise them to suck up harder for the big-ticket things.  Teach them to take advantage.  That's how my son accumulated a cubic yard of Lego.
 
2021-11-29 11:58:01 AM  
1: Let grandma buy all the presents, 2: Change the name tags on most of them to say they're from you, 3: Spend the money you saved on kiddie gifts on hookers and blow, 4: Profit
 
2021-11-29 12:22:39 PM  
Tell the kids that they can resell most of the stuff, use the money for something else.
So, use grandma for as long as possible.
 
2021-11-29 12:55:58 PM  
Tell her to up her game next year. Little Susie wants a Ferrari 812 for Xmas. No, I don't give a shiat that she's only 4, it's what she wants.
 
2021-11-29 1:13:09 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: Nobody ever complains when you give them cash.


You should try that out with a significant other.

/At least go with an Applebee's gift card.
 
2021-11-29 1:35:59 PM  
Convert. Become a witness to Jehovah's grandeur.
 
2021-11-29 1:45:33 PM  
$150 in gifts for grandkids is hardly over the top. Isn't that part of the joy of being a grandparent - overindulging the grandkids?

I think the parents are just cheap. If the issues is just quantity of 'stuff' because the rooms are getting full than maybe you suggest that grandma give more 'experiences' to the grandkids like tickets to Disney on Ice, concerts, or skydiving simulators. Grandparents GET to overshadow the parents on Xmas. It is the natural order of things.
 
2021-11-29 1:46:53 PM  

madgonad: $150 in gifts for grandkids is hardly over the top. Isn't that part of the joy of being a grandparent - overindulging the grandkids?

I think the parents are just cheap. If the issues is just quantity of 'stuff' because the rooms are getting full than maybe you suggest that grandma give more 'experiences' to the grandkids like tickets to Disney on Ice, concerts, or skydiving simulators. Grandparents GET to overshadow the parents on Xmas. It is the natural order of things.


The AW grampy has logged on.
 
2021-11-29 1:55:52 PM  

madgonad: $150 in gifts for grandkids is hardly over the top. Isn't that part of the joy of being a grandparent - overindulging the grandkids?

I think the parents are just cheap. If the issues is just quantity of 'stuff' because the rooms are getting full than maybe you suggest that grandma give more 'experiences' to the grandkids like tickets to Disney on Ice, concerts, or skydiving simulators. Grandparents GET to overshadow the parents on Xmas. It is the natural order of things.


Or broke.
 
2021-11-29 1:58:15 PM  
More of an AJ (Attention Jane or John).  She has to buy attention from the g-kids.
 
2021-11-29 1:59:03 PM  
There's no law that requires a family to keep every single item ever given.  If your kid doesn't play with something, box it up and donate it to a thrift store, a homeless shelter, anywhere.

Let the grandparents spoil the kiddies.
 
2021-11-29 2:04:19 PM  

mike_d85: Or broke.


You don't write a letter to Slate to complain when you are broke.

DecemberNitro: The AW grampy has logged on.


My oldest is 16, so still a long way from being a grandpa. I did lose my dad this year so this Xmas there won't be any gifts from grandpa under the tree.

/that's kind of the main reason for letting the grandparents indulge your kids - you don't know when there won't be another gift.
 
2021-11-29 2:22:40 PM  
Dont' fight over this holiday
- instead become Super Bunny 
flashbak.comView Full Size
 
2021-11-29 2:26:45 PM  
I get it you hate your in-laws, don't involve your kids.
 
2021-11-29 2:28:03 PM  
Tell your kids that granny killed their 1st pet. Won't matter what she gives them after that.
 
2021-11-29 2:28:09 PM  
I don't see the problem. If the kids like the presents, doesn't this make Xmas shopping that much easier?

The real problem is when Grandma is a cheapskate and keeps giving your kids trash. MIL always sends these aged, stained books with missing pages that her local library was throwing away. Plus ancient toys from the attic that are falling apart.

Then there's the relatives who don't know the kids and send them shiat we're just going to return to the store. Thanks, you got me an errand. It's the thought that counts - the thought of me going out to wait in line for an $8 gift card.
 
2021-11-29 3:05:34 PM  

cherryl taggart: There's no law that requires a family to keep every single item ever given.  If your kid doesn't play with something, box it up and donate it to a thrift store, a homeless shelter, anywhere.

Let the grandparents spoil the kiddies.


In my case I wanted to get my son his first bike for his 5th birthday. I told me mom so. On several occasions I mentioned we had already bought it.She calls, a week before his birthday, "it's so awesome, I got a bike from Goodwill. It was a really good deal." "Mom, I explained to you that it was going to be special, and that we wanted to do this." "Fine, if you don't appreciate it, I'll take it back."

She gave it to the girl next door to her and explains all the time how much the little girl appreciates the bike we explicitly told her we didn't want, that would mean something to us to give.

So I can sympathize with parents not appreciating grandparents dumping shiat that then replaces something the kid specifically wants because now, I asked for, they were given something too good to throw away but not the thing you actually wanted, and that you're apparently ungrateful
 
2021-11-29 3:05:40 PM  
it's sad how many have mistaken grandparent(s) for mother-in-law
 
2021-11-29 3:18:51 PM  

Merltech: Get with your father-in-law and create a power struggle and oust your mother-in-law.


By "Get with" I have to assume you mean "Fark the hell out of".

I think this plan will work.
 
2021-11-29 3:22:37 PM  

eKonk: Merltech: Get with your father-in-law and create a power struggle and oust your mother-in-law.

By "Get with" I have to assume you mean "Fark the hell out of".

I think this plan will work.


Yes, yes I did
 
2021-11-29 3:29:59 PM  

sinko swimo: it's sad how many have mistaken grandparent(s) for mother-in-law


if you searched more porn, it will reinforce the boundaries.
 
2021-11-29 3:44:51 PM  

sinko swimo: it's sad how many have mistaken grandparent(s) for mother-in-law


What mistake would that be?  The mother-in-law in this case is a grandparent (or perhaps step-grandparent, but given the gift-giving relationship that distinction would seem irrelevant) to the child in question.
 
2021-11-29 3:45:44 PM  
Lighten up Francis, enjoy the ride
 
2021-11-29 4:04:32 PM  
Too much emphasis on gifts is a disease. Yes, get gifts as per your budget/lifestyle, but know where to draw the line.

I have in-laws who, along with both sets of grandparents, spoil their kids absolutely rotten with mountains of xmas presents every year. They practically live in a hoarder's house now. Piles upon piles of toys, plastic junk, puzzles, books, figures, video and board games crammed into crates in the corners of every room. Most items have never been opened. It's a staggering waste of money. I'll sit and watch them open their gifts every year and know that 75% of those gifts are going straight into a closet, never to be seen again until they're donated to goodwill or simply tossed in the trash.
 
2021-11-29 5:19:34 PM  

Merltech: Get with your father-in-law and create a power struggle and oust your mother-in-law.


You play CK2/3 too eh?
 
2021-11-29 5:47:30 PM  

ryant123: Merltech: Get with your father-in-law and create a power struggle and oust your mother-in-law.

You play CK2/3 too eh?


Actually I did something like that in one of the Sims games
 
2021-11-29 11:17:12 PM  
Grandparent here. We talk to our kids and see what we can get for each of the grandkids so we don't overwhelm them with stuff and also to make sure it's something the grandkids will actually enjoy and use. They all do Christmas at their own houses first and then come to our place later in the day so we can hang out and eat some food and pick on each other.

We don't feel the need to outbuy their parents to gain the grandkids' love; we use cookies and ice cream when the parents aren't looking to do that.
 
2021-11-30 1:45:00 PM  
recognize you are never going to make your MIL happy.  then you can stop trying and she'll get upset that she can't get a reaction out of you, which is hilarious in the short term.  in the long term she'll give up or move on to her newest in-law.

\did this 15 years ago.
\\smartest thing i ever did.
 
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