Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Forbes)   Your Griswold style display could cost you an $11,000 fine from the FAA. Squirrel in the Christmas tree out front should have told you   (forbes.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Laser, Sky, Flight, Federal Aviation Administration, holiday laser lights, Air safety, Light, recent years  
•       •       •

5705 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Nov 2021 at 1:14 PM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



74 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-11-28 12:07:11 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-28 1:17:34 PM  
You gotta be that much of a dickhead to not only point lasers at the sky, but then not do anything about it after the feds tell you to knock it off. FA;FO
 
2021-11-28 1:18:19 PM  
One guy in my town did it a few years ago. It was funny at first.

Then crowds started coming to see it.

Then the town nearly descended into civil war when the city council decided they would just DISCUSS some reasonable limitations on holiday decorations.

In the end he was told it was cool, but please knock it off because you are pissing off your neighbors, and him, being a cool guy, was, "yeah, sorry, i wasn't expecting morons to show up left and right"
 
2021-11-28 1:29:33 PM  

Charlie Freak: You gotta be that much of a dickhead to not only point lasers at the sky, but then not do anything about it after the feds tell you to knock it off. FA;FO


You gotta be delusional to think you'll win against the freaking FAA.
 
2021-11-28 1:29:59 PM  
Looked at some of the laser light displays available and said "no farking way".  The Chinese don't give a shiat if you lose vision in one of your eyes, and apparently the FTC doesn't either.
 
2021-11-28 1:32:00 PM  

noitsnot: Looked at some of the laser light displays available and said "no farking way".  The Chinese don't give a shiat if you lose vision in one of your eyes, and apparently the FTC doesn't either.


They also all look like crap.

"Oh, you wanted to decorate for the holidays, but couldn't be bothered with any more effort than walking outside and sticking something in the ground that looks like crap on your house"

Like cool, don't decorate if you are busy or lazy or just not into the whole thing. Don't announce to the neighborhood though that you just like to phone shiat in.
 
2021-11-28 1:33:47 PM  
It's less Griswold and more pointing lights at the sky, per TFA.  Don't shine lasers in the farking sky.
 
2021-11-28 1:36:18 PM  
Although on the subject of tacky decorations, a guy a few houses down from me has this MASSIVE inflatable rudolph. Like, so massive and over the top it crosses the line from tacky back to awesome. I'm talking this thing is legit 2-3 stories tall.

The best part about it is there is a bit of a ridge between me, so i only see the top part of its head when i walk out the front door, and it farking cracks me up every time.

They make an abominable snowman version of it as well, which is even bigger, and every year my wife gets more and more on board with me buying it, just so i can go into his yard in the middle of the night, and set it up to look like its humping rudolph.
 
2021-11-28 1:36:39 PM  
 
2021-11-28 1:36:44 PM  

padraig: You gotta be delusional to think you'll win against the freaking FAA.


I dunno... you can buy stuff to take down aircraft, but very few civilian aircraft are capable of firing at ground targets.
 
2021-11-28 1:37:25 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-28 1:40:04 PM  
So....basically you could shut down an entire airfield with a geostationary satellite armed with a reasonably powerful red laser
 
2021-11-28 1:40:09 PM  
Yeah, speaking as a guy with a "100% legal 5mW green laser pointer" from Alibaba that I use for astronomy, don't point lasers at planes.

If you're going to do Christmas, do it like one of the guys in my neighborhood who has so many blow up things he had to switch to all LED lighting back when it was expensive since it was a lot cheaper than putting another electric line into his house.

/Also does Halloween, Thanksgiving, New Years, 4th of July and Patriots stuff all fall.
 
2021-11-28 1:41:04 PM  

LineNoise: noitsnot: Looked at some of the laser light displays available and said "no farking way".  The Chinese don't give a shiat if you lose vision in one of your eyes, and apparently the FTC doesn't either.

They also all look like crap.

"Oh, you wanted to decorate for the holidays, but couldn't be bothered with any more effort than walking outside and sticking something in the ground that looks like crap on your house"

Like cool, don't decorate if you are busy or lazy or just not into the whole thing. Don't announce to the neighborhood though that you just like to phone shiat in.


Similar amount of effort but far less annoying:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-28 1:41:33 PM  
My neighbor got one of those giant skeletons for Halloween.

It's now dressed up as Santa Clause.

Best Christmas display ever.
 
2021-11-28 1:42:51 PM  

lifeslammer: So....basically you could shut down an entire airfield with a geostationary satellite armed with a reasonably powerful red laser


No matter how good your laser is, beam dispersal over 20000+ miles is a hell of a lot more noticeable than what happens in a distance of just 3000 feet.
 
2021-11-28 1:46:38 PM  

LineNoise: Although on the subject of tacky decorations, a guy a few houses down from me has this MASSIVE inflatable rudolph. Like, so massive and over the top it crosses the line from tacky back to awesome. I'm talking this thing is legit 2-3 stories tall.

The best part about it is there is a bit of a ridge between me, so i only see the top part of its head when i walk out the front door, and it farking cracks me up every time.

They make an abominable snowman version of it as well, which is even bigger, and every year my wife gets more and more on board with me buying it, just so i can go into his yard in the middle of the night, and set it up to look like its humping rudolph.


A quick Google search showed multiple results, and apparently you can get a 3' Yukon Cornelius for $2,495.

Also found this, so I think I know what I'm sending to the nephew I don't like this year

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-28 1:50:31 PM  

TheReject: Also found this, so I think I know what I'm sending to the nephew I don't like this year


link please.
 
2021-11-28 1:51:51 PM  

forteblast: LineNoise: noitsnot: Looked at some of the laser light displays available and said "no farking way".  The Chinese don't give a shiat if you lose vision in one of your eyes, and apparently the FTC doesn't either.

They also all look like crap.

"Oh, you wanted to decorate for the holidays, but couldn't be bothered with any more effort than walking outside and sticking something in the ground that looks like crap on your house"

Like cool, don't decorate if you are busy or lazy or just not into the whole thing. Don't announce to the neighborhood though that you just like to phone shiat in.

Similar amount of effort but far less annoying:

[Fark user image image 494x370]


Doing that next year when I can order  Grinch without a 2000 % markup
 
2021-11-28 1:53:18 PM  

Unsung_Hero: padraig: You gotta be delusional to think you'll win against the freaking FAA.

I dunno... you can buy stuff to take down aircraft, but very few civilian aircraft are capable of firing at ground targets.


They could empty the toilets
 
2021-11-28 1:54:05 PM  
WAR ON CHRISTMAS! BET THE YOU-KNOW-WHATS DID THIS!
 
2021-11-28 1:57:45 PM  

Glockenspiel Hero: Yeah, speaking as a guy with a "100% legal 5mW green laser pointer" from Alibaba that I use for astronomy, don't point lasers at planes.

If you're going to do Christmas, do it like one of the guys in my neighborhood who has so many blow up things he had to switch to all LED lighting back when it was expensive since it was a lot cheaper than putting another electric line into his house.

/Also does Halloween, Thanksgiving, New Years, 4th of July and Patriots stuff all fall.


Astronomy? Are you doing adaptive optics?
 
2021-11-28 2:06:13 PM  

Unsung_Hero: padraig: You gotta be delusional to think you'll win against the freaking FAA.

I dunno... you can buy stuff to take down aircraft, but very few civilian aircraft are capable of firing at ground targets.


I live closer to a military base/airport than the commercial, and over half the planes/aircraft we see are military. Thankfully none of my neighbors (that I know of) are stupid enough to FAFO.
 
2021-11-28 2:10:09 PM  

lifeslammer: So....basically you could shut down an entire airfield with a geostationary satellite armed with a reasonably powerful red laser


I'm going to guess that you didn't double-check where geostationary orbit is before posting that.
 
2021-11-28 2:10:23 PM  
Do not try this in Texas. You may shut down the whole power grid.
 
2021-11-28 2:15:33 PM  
people should realise they live in a house and not assume they're recreating a Jean Michel Jarre concert.

/fan of Jean Michel Jarre.
//LASERSSSS!!!
 
2021-11-28 2:22:18 PM  

Unsung_Hero: padraig: You gotta be delusional to think you'll win against the freaking FAA.

I dunno... you can buy stuff to take down aircraft, but very few civilian aircraft are capable of firing at ground targets.


They don't respond with aerial attack.  They respond with police cars, fines, and or indictments.
 
2021-11-28 2:24:21 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Glockenspiel Hero: Yeah, speaking as a guy with a "100% legal 5mW green laser pointer" from Alibaba that I use for astronomy, don't point lasers at planes.

If you're going to do Christmas, do it like one of the guys in my neighborhood who has so many blow up things he had to switch to all LED lighting back when it was expensive since it was a lot cheaper than putting another electric line into his house.

/Also does Halloween, Thanksgiving, New Years, 4th of July and Patriots stuff all fall.

Astronomy? Are you doing adaptive optics?


Some of us use lasers to create artificial stars for telescope collimation on Schmidt Cassegrain tubes and for general laser collimation of Newtonian scopes.
 
2021-11-28 2:30:38 PM  

pjkraatz: Mad_Radhu: Glockenspiel Hero: Yeah, speaking as a guy with a "100% legal 5mW green laser pointer" from Alibaba that I use for astronomy, don't point lasers at planes.

If you're going to do Christmas, do it like one of the guys in my neighborhood who has so many blow up things he had to switch to all LED lighting back when it was expensive since it was a lot cheaper than putting another electric line into his house.

/Also does Halloween, Thanksgiving, New Years, 4th of July and Patriots stuff all fall.

Astronomy? Are you doing adaptive optics?

Some of us use lasers to create artificial stars for telescope collimation on Schmidt Cassegrain tubes and for general laser collimation of Newtonian scopes.


It's to draw a dickbutt on the moon
 
2021-11-28 2:32:05 PM  

LineNoise: noitsnot: Looked at some of the laser light displays available and said "no farking way".  The Chinese don't give a shiat if you lose vision in one of your eyes, and apparently the FTC doesn't either.

They also all look like crap.

"Oh, you wanted to decorate for the holidays, but couldn't be bothered with any more effort than walking outside and sticking something in the ground that looks like crap on your house"

Like cool, don't decorate if you are busy or lazy or just not into the whole thing. Don't announce to the neighborhood though that you just like to phone shiat in.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-28 2:33:09 PM  
Has there yet been an instance where a laser has been IDed as the cause of an actual plane crash?

Obviously lasers are a danger to the vision of pilots and other people in planes. I'm only saying that as far as I'm aware it's not (so far) a life and death thing. But it is playing with fire, because eventually a pilot will get blinded and not be able to control the plane. It's just that the exposure from a laser that's not very intentionally being aimed at a plane isn't going to be more than a fraction of a second.
 
2021-11-28 2:33:20 PM  
One of "those people" here with an over the top Christmas Show. The vast and overwhelming majority of us just can't use lasers in our shows because they either suck or are so nasty it's not worth the hassles. Never mind all the FAA rules of which we are all acutely aware, you need a minimum class 3, and preferably a class 4 laser if you even want people to see it. Those are just too dangerous for an audience. One bad wind or some idjit touching something they shouldn't and someone goes blind. These "Hoarders:XMAS Special" superstars with the lasers are cancer.

On a more positive note, here's something from the show this year-
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RU63QE4​j​ckM&list=PLnqFWtm3EVsma_1Miiu5vK3PwFj-​opqBP&index=8&t=8s
 
2021-11-28 2:33:59 PM  

LineNoise: One guy in my town did it a few years ago. It was funny at first.

Then crowds started coming to see it.

Then the town nearly descended into civil war when the city council decided they would just DISCUSS some reasonable limitations on holiday decorations.

In the end he was told it was cool, but please knock it off because you are pissing off your neighbors, and him, being a cool guy, was, "yeah, sorry, i wasn't expecting morons to show up left and right"


You know, Mary and Joseph had the same problem
 
2021-11-28 2:35:04 PM  

lifeslammer: So....basically you could shut down an entire airfield with a geostationary satellite armed with a reasonably powerful red laser


Red as in Russian? Or red like Chinese?
 
2021-11-28 2:36:51 PM  

Mad_Radhu: Glockenspiel Hero: Yeah, speaking as a guy with a "100% legal 5mW green laser pointer" from Alibaba that I use for astronomy, don't point lasers at planes.

If you're going to do Christmas, do it like one of the guys in my neighborhood who has so many blow up things he had to switch to all LED lighting back when it was expensive since it was a lot cheaper than putting another electric line into his house.

/Also does Halloween, Thanksgiving, New Years, 4th of July and Patriots stuff all fall.

Astronomy? Are you doing adaptive optics?


Nothing so fancy- it's just a pointer for when I take people out who don't know the night sky

An actual 5mW green laser is bright enough to draw easily visible lines across the sky.  What Alibaba sells is just a bit more visible
 
2021-11-28 2:37:04 PM  

Raoul Eaton: Unsung_Hero: padraig: You gotta be delusional to think you'll win against the freaking FAA.

I dunno... you can buy stuff to take down aircraft, but very few civilian aircraft are capable of firing at ground targets.

They don't respond with aerial attack.  They respond with police cars, fines, and or indictments.


Guy in Virginia Beach did 18 months for shining his little laser at Navy jets on final.
Why did he do that? "angry about the noise "

Dumbass...who told you to move next to an active air base?

https://www.wtkr.com/2012/10/19/virgi​n​ia-beach-man-sentenced-to-18-months-fo​r-blinding-navy-pilots-with-laser/
 
2021-11-28 2:37:48 PM  

noitsnot: pjkraatz: Mad_Radhu: Glockenspiel Hero: Yeah, speaking as a guy with a "100% legal 5mW green laser pointer" from Alibaba that I use for astronomy, don't point lasers at planes.

If you're going to do Christmas, do it like one of the guys in my neighborhood who has so many blow up things he had to switch to all LED lighting back when it was expensive since it was a lot cheaper than putting another electric line into his house.

/Also does Halloween, Thanksgiving, New Years, 4th of July and Patriots stuff all fall.

Astronomy? Are you doing adaptive optics?

Some of us use lasers to create artificial stars for telescope collimation on Schmidt Cassegrain tubes and for general laser collimation of Newtonian scopes.

It's to draw a dickbutt on the moon


i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-11-28 2:39:44 PM  

BigNumber12: lifeslammer: So....basically you could shut down an entire airfield with a geostationary satellite armed with a reasonably powerful red laser

I'm going to guess that you didn't double-check where geostationary orbit is before posting that.


i.redd.itView Full Size
 
2021-11-28 2:46:17 PM  

LineNoise: Although on the subject of tacky decorations, a guy a few houses down from me has this MASSIVE inflatable rudolph. Like, so massive and over the top it crosses the line from tacky back to awesome. I'm talking this thing is legit 2-3 stories tall.

The best part about it is there is a bit of a ridge between me, so i only see the top part of its head when i walk out the front door, and it farking cracks me up every time.

They make an abominable snowman version of it as well, which is even bigger, and every year my wife gets more and more on board with me buying it, just so i can go into his yard in the middle of the night, and set it up to look like its humping rudolph.


Their 27' inflatable reindeer costs $725 on Ebay right now.
 
2021-11-28 2:49:53 PM  

lifeslammer: So....basically you could shut down an entire airfield with a geostationary satellite armed with a reasonably powerful red laser


If you can personally aim a focused laser from a satellite at target coordinates, you might be a bond villain
 
2021-11-28 2:55:36 PM  

noitsnot: noitsnot: pjkraatz: Mad_Radhu: Glockenspiel Hero: Yeah, speaking as a guy with a "100% legal 5mW green laser pointer" from Alibaba that I use for astronomy, don't point lasers at planes.

If you're going to do Christmas, do it like one of the guys in my neighborhood who has so many blow up things he had to switch to all LED lighting back when it was expensive since it was a lot cheaper than putting another electric line into his house.

/Also does Halloween, Thanksgiving, New Years, 4th of July and Patriots stuff all fall.

Astronomy? Are you doing adaptive optics?

Some of us use lasers to create artificial stars for telescope collimation on Schmidt Cassegrain tubes and for general laser collimation of Newtonian scopes.

It's to draw a dickbutt on the moon

[i.imgur.com image 540x409]


You weren't supposed to tell anyone about that until the big reveal.
 
2021-11-28 3:04:45 PM  

INTERTRON: lifeslammer: So....basically you could shut down an entire airfield with a geostationary satellite armed with a reasonably powerful red laser

If you can personally aim a focused laser from a satellite at target coordinates, you might be a bond villain


People can aim lasers from Earth at a small 1-sq-foot reflector on the moon and hit it, so putting one on a satellite (even a geostationary one) and hitting a target on the much closer Earth seems like a reasonable task. It's the "reasonably powerful" part, specifically powerful enough to affect eyesight, that would be difficult.
 
2021-11-28 3:06:23 PM  

forteblast: LineNoise: noitsnot: Looked at some of the laser light displays available and said "no farking way".  The Chinese don't give a shiat if you lose vision in one of your eyes, and apparently the FTC doesn't either.

They also all look like crap.

"Oh, you wanted to decorate for the holidays, but couldn't be bothered with any more effort than walking outside and sticking something in the ground that looks like crap on your house"

Like cool, don't decorate if you are busy or lazy or just not into the whole thing. Don't announce to the neighborhood though that you just like to phone shiat in.

Similar amount of effort but far less annoying:

[Fark user image image 494x370]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-28 3:12:09 PM  

lifeslammer: So....basically you could shut down an entire airfield with a geostationary satellite armed with a reasonably powerful red laser


One could shut down any airport with a helluva lot less than that.
 
2021-11-28 3:31:58 PM  
external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size
 
2021-11-28 3:32:44 PM  

Glockenspiel Hero: Yeah, speaking as a guy with a "100% legal 5mW green laser pointer" from Alibaba that I use for astronomy, don't point lasers at planes.

If you're going to do Christmas, do it like one of the guys in my neighborhood who has so many blow up things he had to switch to all LED lighting back when it was expensive since it was a lot cheaper than putting another electric line into his house.

/Also does Halloween, Thanksgiving, New Years, 4th of July and Patriots stuff all fall.


Back when they were still selling to the US, I bought a 1watt green laser from Wicked Lasers along with a prism kit so I could make the beam go around my apartment. It was so bright the first time I fired it up a cop was driving by and he knocked on my door to ask me what the hell I was doing.

He thought it was pretty cool.
 
2021-11-28 3:34:26 PM  
Of all fatal air accidents, nearly half (49%) happen during the final descent and landing phases of a flight, while 14% happen during takeoff and the initial climb.

Pretty sure the initial climbs in those fatal accidents were also the plane's final descents.
 
2021-11-28 3:36:31 PM  
My neighbors already have so many Christmas lights it's only a matter of time before a confused A-380 lands on my street.
 
2021-11-28 3:42:24 PM  

Unsung_Hero: padraig: You gotta be delusional to think you'll win against the freaking FAA.

I dunno... you can buy stuff to take down aircraft, but very few civilian aircraft are capable of firing at ground targets.


Well, the exact same stuff can be carried on a plane by passengers or the pilot.
 
2021-11-28 3:45:46 PM  

vudukungfu: lifeslammer: So....basically you could shut down an entire airfield with a geostationary satellite armed with a reasonably powerful red laser

Red as in Russian? Or red like Chinese?


Red as in "Jewish"
 
Displayed 50 of 74 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.