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(WBTW Myrtle Beach)   Woman gives out free hugs and lap dances. Strangely, recipients have a problem with this. Subby wonders why things like this never happen in his town   (wbtw.com) divider line
    More: Florida, 35-year-old Heather Cruz, Criminal law, County, Police, Count, Arrest, Scrotum, Sexual intercourse  
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5030 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Nov 2021 at 5:20 AM (7 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



59 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-11-25 9:06:13 PM  
Huh. I went to high school in Citrus County. She looks like our class president. But she's 24 years younger than me, so, no. I lived in Inverness, the county seat, where there's a big body of water proudly called, "Cooter Pond." It has a showy city-provided sign and everything.
 
2021-11-25 9:11:45 PM  
Lonely people, where do they all come from?
Lonely people, where do they all belong?
 
2021-11-25 9:59:01 PM  
Serious question: If convicted on the exposure charge, does she get branded as a sexual violator and get put on a registry for life?

/like a guy taking a leak in a alley
 
2021-11-25 10:03:20 PM  
Exposing herself to a guy 30 years older than her? Sounds like there could be some Daddy Issues at work here.


///I'll be her Daddy
 
2021-11-26 2:46:51 AM  
My dad was a cop, so growing up we had a police scanner so my mom could hear if he got murdered or something I guess, I don't know. Anyway, I grew up in a college town, and you heard some things.

One night, there was a call for a woman who got drunk, walked into someone's unlocked apartment, into the kitchen, opened the oven, squatted down over it, took a shiat, and then fell asleep on the floor.

I guess what I'm saying is, be careful what you wish for, subby.
 
2021-11-26 5:23:59 AM  

Bob Falfa: Exposing herself to a guy 30 years older than her? Sounds like there could be some Daddy Issues at work here.


///I'll be her Daddy


Ewww. You don't know where that's been.
 
2021-11-26 5:33:39 AM  
This Is What I Do (I Sit On You!) Official Music Video
Youtube N6Qev0VJcgE
https://youtu.be/N6Qev0VJcgE
 
2021-11-26 5:38:31 AM  
If I was over 65 and a 35 yr old woman did this I don't think I would mind that much. But they really need to determine why she did it drugs/meds, mental health issues. But hey easier just to charge her and lock her up.
 
2021-11-26 5:43:02 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-26 5:51:34 AM  

ryebread: My dad was a cop, so growing up we had a police scanner so my mom could hear if he got murdered or something I guess, I don't know. Anyway, I grew up in a college town, and you heard some things.

One night, there was a call for a woman who got drunk, walked into someone's unlocked apartment, into the kitchen, opened the oven, squatted down over it, took a shiat, and then fell asleep on the floor.

I guess what I'm saying is, be careful what you wish for, subby.


Woman? That's Amana, baby.
 
2021-11-26 6:02:34 AM  
I'm not saying for sure, but I think she is in here somewhere.

images-na.ssl-images-amazon.comView Full Size
 
2021-11-26 6:04:09 AM  

felching pen: Serious question: If convicted on the exposure charge, does she get branded as a sexual violator and get put on a registry for life?

/like a guy taking a leak in a alley


Thankfully when a cop found me taking a leak in an alley 15 years ago or so, she just asked me to move along. I can't imagine a reality in which that destroyed my life forever.
 
2021-11-26 6:09:36 AM  
Geeze I can't even get pizza delivered where I live.
 
2021-11-26 6:12:06 AM  

ryebread: My dad was a cop, so growing up we had a police scanner so my mom could hear if he got murdered or something I guess, I don't know. Anyway, I grew up in a college town, and you heard some things.

One night, there was a call for a woman who got drunk, walked into someone's unlocked apartment, into the kitchen, opened the oven, squatted down over it, took a shiat, and then fell asleep on the floor.

I guess what I'm saying is, be careful what you wish for, subby.


It's not her fault the oven wouldn't flush.
 
2021-11-26 6:15:45 AM  
I have a black shirt which says "FREE HUGS" in big white letters.  Ironically, I bought it before the pandemic.
 
2021-11-26 6:16:10 AM  

UncleDirtNap: Geeze I can't even get pizza delivered where I live.


Username checks out.
 
2021-11-26 6:27:24 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-26 6:28:34 AM  
what the fark happened to connie britton?!
 
2021-11-26 6:29:03 AM  
Don't do drugs, kids.
 
2021-11-26 6:33:22 AM  
Random act of kindness, and she ends up in jail?
 
2021-11-26 6:40:15 AM  
It truly was a day to give thanks.
 
2021-11-26 6:48:10 AM  
She was looking for a Thanksgiving stuffing
 
2021-11-26 7:01:16 AM  
I would be uncomfortable because she's obviously not acting safely for herself (mental issues, etc)...but I'd definitely would hug her back. Not call the farking cops.
 
2021-11-26 7:01:48 AM  
Heh...extra "would"
 
2021-11-26 7:08:58 AM  

Biscuit Tin: Huh. I went to high school in Citrus County. She looks like our class president. But she's 24 years younger than me, so, no. I lived in Inverness, the county seat, where there's a big body of water proudly called, "Cooter Pond." It has a showy city-provided sign and everything.


Howdy neighbor! Raised in Sumter County. Inverness was practically cosmopolitan compared to my town of 2,000. Took my SATs at Citrus High School.
 
2021-11-26 7:13:49 AM  

Biscuit Tin: I lived in Inverness, the county seat, where there's a big body of water proudly called, "Cooter Pond." It has a showy city-provided sign and everything.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-26 7:23:25 AM  
The mugshot's not too bad but I'd have to see the whole woman and then... well, no.  Because that behavior is so abnormal it's scary.  The fact that she attacked a cop physically is evidence you'd be right to be worried, too.  And of course there's the disease angle.  You have no idea what she might have, and naked and rubbing up against you is one way to increase transmission odds of a lot of things.

Compassion second, first order of business would be personal safety and that would likely mean calling the cops to have her removed.
 
2021-11-26 7:30:04 AM  

Gordon Bennett: Biscuit Tin: I lived in Inverness, the county seat, where there's a big body of water proudly called, "Cooter Pond." It has a showy city-provided sign and everything.

[Fark user image image 850x478]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-26 7:31:10 AM  

Gordon Bennett: Biscuit Tin: I lived in Inverness, the county seat, where there's a big body of water proudly called, "Cooter Pond." It has a showy city-provided sign and everything.

[Fark user image image 850x478]


Hmm.  If you can shave her head and turn her skin blue, she might have a future in movies.
 
2021-11-26 7:36:44 AM  

kdawg7736: Don't do drugs, kids.


Spoilsport.
 
2021-11-26 8:00:10 AM  
Would this story have a different out come if his wife and buddies weren't at the house?
I am just asking as I am writing a new Hallmark channel movie for the AARP crowd.
 
2021-11-26 8:01:09 AM  

Bob Falfa: Exposing herself to a guy 30 years older than her? Sounds like there could be some Daddy Issues at work here.


///I'll be her Daddy


You are 1 bail payment away from finding love.
 
2021-11-26 8:05:07 AM  
...Cruz reportedly grabbed the testicles of another individual and made several sexual remarks....

Mom?
 
2021-11-26 8:30:27 AM  
So when did Uber start delivering women?
 
2021-11-26 8:41:36 AM  
At the top end of the stripper career, Ms Cruz decided to get creative.  Seeing an opportunity for an at home stripper experience, she had a friend create an app that mimics Uber/Lyft and could be used to order a stripper instead if a ride.

But her friend just grabbed all the code and parsed out a few lines.  Not enough to keep her app from getting a valid ride request.

So she went to the address, started performing and when the cops showed up she explained.  Everyone had a good laugh and the old man pointed to his drought and said "over here, darling.  One eye is ordering a Lyft."
 
2021-11-26 8:51:39 AM  
"Cruz now faces three counts of battery on persons 65 years of age or older, two counts of battery on a law enforcement officer, and one count of resisting an officer with violence, burglary with battery, exposure of sexual organs and battery."


No charges of sexual assault and battery?
 
2021-11-26 8:54:23 AM  

groppet: If I was over 65 and a 35 yr old woman did this I don't think I would mind that much. But they really need to determine why she did it drugs/meds, mental health issues. But hey easier just to charge her and lock her up.


Yeah, and if a man did this, he'd be charged with attempted rape, sexual assault, and have to register as a sex offender.
 
2021-11-26 8:58:02 AM  

The Official Fark Cajun: groppet: If I was over 65 and a 35 yr old woman did this I don't think I would mind that much. But they really need to determine why she did it drugs/meds, mental health issues. But hey easier just to charge her and lock her up.

Yeah, and if a man did this, he'd be charged with attempted rape, sexual assault, and have to register as a sex offender.


Relax, you'll be off probation before you know it. Remember to keep those curtains closed
 
2021-11-26 8:59:58 AM  

jim32rr: The Official Fark Cajun: groppet: If I was over 65 and a 35 yr old woman did this I don't think I would mind that much. But they really need to determine why she did it drugs/meds, mental health issues. But hey easier just to charge her and lock her up.

Yeah, and if a man did this, he'd be charged with attempted rape, sexual assault, and have to register as a sex offender.

Relax, you'll be off probation before you know it. Remember to keep those curtains closed


So being pro equality means I'm a sex offender now?

You sjw's are going a bit extreme.
 
2021-11-26 9:03:49 AM  

ShamanGator: So when did Uber start delivering women?


Remember...you're not paying for the sex...you're paying for her to leave after.
 
2021-11-26 9:26:58 AM  
Citrus county?

Gotta be a meth binge
 
2021-11-26 9:42:13 AM  
Citrus County. Orange ya glad she didn't show up at your Dad's house?
 
2021-11-26 9:49:31 AM  
When Florida officially becomes Naked Land, she's gonna be its president.
 
2021-11-26 9:55:49 AM  
Would pet
 
2021-11-26 10:30:29 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


/with apologies to the coulrophobics among us
 
2021-11-26 10:30:36 AM  

Pointy Tail of Satan: I'm not saying for sure, but I think she is in here somewhere.

[images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com image 350x499]


Everyone is
Every
single
person
 
2021-11-26 10:31:30 AM  
A crazy redhead?  What is this?  Opposite day?
 
2021-11-26 10:52:18 AM  
64.media.tumblr.comView Full Size
 
2021-11-26 11:00:25 AM  
It does happen in your town, Subby, but your mom waits till you're away. And it doesn't stop at hugs and lap dances.
 
2021-11-26 11:31:14 AM  
Anyone capable of this is just as capable of unsheathing a dagger for no reason in the middle of a "performance." This sort of thing is a serious security risk, not a random blessing. Y'all are easy marks for random vulvas and it shows.
 
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