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(The Hill)   You would know, right Ted Cruz?   (thehill.com) divider line
    More: Dumbass, United States Senate, Bill Clinton, Gavin Newsom, Sen. Ted Cruz Rafael, Mexico, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Mayor of San Francisco, Cabo San Lucas  
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4121 clicks; posted to Politics » on 26 Nov 2021 at 12:20 AM (11 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



60 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-11-25 8:14:12 PM  
Is Newsom avoiding a disaster at home and blaming it on his children?
 
2021-11-25 8:25:26 PM  

BizarreMan: Is Newsom avoiding a disaster at home and blaming it on his children?


I think we're done here.

Last one out gets the lights, please.
 
2021-11-25 8:48:35 PM  
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I doubt as many Californians will die of COVID-19 while Newsom is travelling as Texans who died while Cancun Cruz was in damage control mode.
 
2021-11-25 8:53:25 PM  

Shostie: BizarreMan: Is Newsom avoiding a disaster at home and blaming it on his children?

I think we're done here.

Last one out gets the lights, please.


Hang on.

fark Ted Cruz.

/Now we're done
 
2021-11-25 9:06:26 PM  
Some Twitter users weren't in a joking mood Wednesday night

We may as well just drop this in as "context" for every story going forward. "Some Twitter users were pissy about it last night."
 
2021-11-25 11:36:15 PM  
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Dave's right.
 
2021-11-26 12:23:49 AM  
Rafael.  His name is Rafael.
 
2021-11-26 12:25:12 AM  
It's not a bad time to travel: the entire state is not currently on fire, flooding, or shaking, USDOT is handling the ports, and the legislature's on recess.

Go to Cabo
 
2021-11-26 12:28:08 AM  

Therion: [Fark user image 680x464]

Dave's right.


Why does Bautista look like he's starting first grade a hundred years ago?
 
2021-11-26 12:29:39 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-26 12:29:42 AM  
Newsom also travels with Ted Cruz's old college buddy so he can watch him rail his wife?
 
2021-11-26 12:30:03 AM  
Rafael "Hoomon" Cruz tries so hard to act human, but every time he tries it just doesn't work. As good as the skinsuits are, this blind spot in human behavior that the Lizardpeople have will be our way to defeat them. Sort of like how they use dogs to detect Terminators.
 
2021-11-26 12:32:03 AM  
Ted Cruz is one of those guys who thinks he's funny, but he's not.  People have tried to tell him he's not funny and he looks like an ass, every time he tries to make a joke.  Ted thinks those people simply don't have a sense of humor.  He's like Michael Scott, but for all his faults, Michael was a kind person who tried to do the right thing.  Ted's just an asshole.
 
2021-11-26 12:36:04 AM  
Ted Cruz tried to make a bad joke,
Something most would do after a toke,
Cancun plans were busted, Ted's humor is rusted
and his wife never got his friend's poke.
 
2021-11-26 12:37:17 AM  

CthulhuCalling: Rafael "Hoomon" Cruz tries so hard to act human, but every time he tries it just doesn't work. As good as the skinsuits are, this blind spot in human behavior that the Lizardpeople have will be our way to defeat them. Sort of like how they use dogs to detect Terminators.


Well, Canada is like America and Europe's outlet mall. On the label, you think it's normal merchandise, but something is always a little "off."
 
2021-11-26 12:38:05 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-26 12:39:32 AM  
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Now do a joke about how you cold-called folks for a guy that made fun of your wife's appearance and implicated your dad in the assassination of JFK!
 
2021-11-26 12:48:14 AM  
Oh! I get it! That was a joke! He was being funny!
 
2021-11-26 12:54:34 AM  
I bet Cruz's children already have a run down nursing home picked out for him.
 
2021-11-26 1:00:25 AM  

ElPrimitivo: [Fark user image image 425x443]


I don't know I would want to do sex acts on Ted Cruz
 
2021-11-26 1:00:35 AM  
media2.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2021-11-26 1:06:58 AM  
i.dailymail.co.ukView Full Size
 
2021-11-26 1:12:27 AM  
Newsom should insult Cruz's wife so he immediately wins him.  Big Bird should do the same!
 
2021-11-26 1:13:16 AM  
I'd say somethiing really insulting about Ted Cruz...but as long as I am a resident of Texas, I might need to win over his favor one of these days. As loathe as I am to admit it, I need to stay on his good side.


So instead, I'll just say that Heidi Cruz looks like a bucket of shiat!
 
2021-11-26 1:26:37 AM  

The Zen Philosopher Basho: [media2.giphy.com image 508x282] [View Full Size image _x_]


Now that is funny as hell, but also...

Fark user imageView Full Size


/Heidi should have checked herself
//b4 she rekt herself
 
2021-11-26 1:40:09 AM  

cheap_thoughts: ElPrimitivo: [Fark user image image 425x443]

I don't know I would want to do sex acts on Ted Cruz


That's an odd thing to be uncertain about...
 
2021-11-26 1:49:10 AM  

yellowjester: [...come play with us...]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-26 1:53:39 AM  

yellowjester: [Fark user image image 425x423]


Why must you give me nightmares?
 
2021-11-26 2:02:41 AM  
It's funny witnessing sensitive, hypocritical pundits getting upset over criticism of Newsom for vacationing in Mexico when they rebuked Cruz for the same thing.

Newsom has certainly done a lot however...

He oversaw the first population decline in California's history.
And the average price of a single family home shooting up to almost 24% compared to a year ago.
And a 30% increase in homicides.
And rampant smash and grab crime sprees that are increasingly plaguing businesses.

Newsom also supported Prop 47, in which stealing less than $950 worth of goods is treated as a nonviolent misdemeanor and is rarely prosecuted. How's that working out?

Gosh, Newsom suuuure deserves a vacation.

Ted Cruz doesn't have the same level of power over the state as a governor, but at least he had the common sense to immediately stop his trip and take the first available flight back home.
 
2021-11-26 2:23:39 AM  
y.yarn.coView Full Size
 
2021-11-26 2:31:35 AM  

Sumo Surfer: It's funny witnessing sensitive, hypocritical pundits getting upset over criticism of Newsom for vacationing in Mexico when they rebuked Cruz for the same thing.

Newsom has certainly done a lot however...

He oversaw the first population decline in California's history.
And the average price of a single family home shooting up to almost 24% compared to a year ago.
And a 30% increase in homicides.
And rampant smash and grab crime sprees that are increasingly plaguing businesses.

Newsom also supported Prop 47, in which stealing less than $950 worth of goods is treated as a nonviolent misdemeanor and is rarely prosecuted. How's that working out?

Gosh, Newsom suuuure deserves a vacation.

Ted Cruz doesn't have the same level of power over the state as a governor, but at least he had the common sense to immediately stop his trip and take the first available flight back home.


You and Ted Cruz smarted this.
 
2021-11-26 2:32:32 AM  

Shostie: BizarreMan: Is Newsom avoiding a disaster at home and blaming it on his children?

I think we're done here.

Last one out gets the lights, please.


Does not apply in Texas; winter will get the lights soon enough.
 
2021-11-26 2:51:01 AM  
GUYS!!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-26 3:11:17 AM  

Sumo Surfer: It's funny witnessing sensitive, hypocritical pundits getting upset over criticism of Newsom for vacationing in Mexico when they rebuked Cruz for the same thing.

Newsom has certainly done a lot however...

He oversaw the first population decline in California's history.
And the average price of a single family home shooting up to almost 24% compared to a year ago.
And a 30% increase in homicides.
And rampant smash and grab crime sprees that are increasingly plaguing businesses.

Newsom also supported Prop 47, in which stealing less than $950 worth of goods is treated as a nonviolent misdemeanor and is rarely prosecuted. How's that working out?

Gosh, Newsom suuuure deserves a vacation.

Ted Cruz doesn't have the same level of power over the state as a governor, but at least he had the common sense to immediately stop his trip and take the first available flight back home.


I bet that sounded really persuasive when you wrote it in your head.
 
2021-11-26 3:16:35 AM  

vabeard: Rafael.  His name is Rafael.


Felito.  That was his nickname as a kid, but apparently he was teased in school.

Fark user imageView Full Size

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-26 3:16:51 AM  

Palined Parenthood: GUYS!!

[Fark user image image 425x228]


Holy sh*t!  This is huge.  What day is it?!?
 
2021-11-26 3:36:53 AM  

Gubbo: Shostie: BizarreMan: Is Newsom avoiding a disaster at home and blaming it on his children?

I think we're done here.

Last one out gets the lights, please.

Hang on.

fark Ted Cruz.

/Now we're done

thanksagainandagain: Does not apply in Texas; winter will get the lights soon enough.

FLY ME TO CANCÚN - A Founders Sing Parody w/ Ted Cruz #FlyMeToCancun
Youtube UTwFkCfCFuQ
/Bonus: most wonderfully appropriate last three letters of a randomly assigned YouTube Video ID I know.
 
2021-11-26 4:43:42 AM  

fragMasterFlash: [Fark user image 425x239]

I doubt as many Californians will die of COVID-19 while Newsom is travelling as Texans who died while Cancun Cruz was in damage control mode.


He sucked at that too.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-26 5:23:00 AM  
Ted Cruz tells jokes worse than dad jokes. He needs to hire someone to run this stuff by before he tweets it. He keeps getting his ass handed to him and never seems to learn.
 
2021-11-26 5:35:43 AM  
Ted Cruz needs to ditch the wolf pussy growing out of his face.
 
2021-11-26 5:41:41 AM  

TeddyRooseveltsMustache: Ted Cruz needs to ditch the wolf pussy growing out of his face.


The correct term is "cloaca". Lizards only got one hole.
 
2021-11-26 5:42:49 AM  

Sumo Surfer: It's funny witnessing sensitive, hypocritical pundits getting upset over criticism of Newsom for vacationing in Mexico when they rebuked Cruz for the same thing.

Newsom has certainly done a lot however...

He oversaw the first population decline in California's history.
And the average price of a single family home shooting up to almost 24% compared to a year ago.
And a 30% increase in homicides.
And rampant smash and grab crime sprees that are increasingly plaguing businesses.

Newsom also supported Prop 47, in which stealing less than $950 worth of goods is treated as a nonviolent misdemeanor and is rarely prosecuted. How's that working out?

Gosh, Newsom suuuure deserves a vacation.

Ted Cruz doesn't have the same level of power over the state as a governor, but at least he had the common sense to immediately stop his trip and take the first available flight back home.


You gullible mug.
 
2021-11-26 5:44:20 AM  

The Envoy: Sumo Surfer: It's funny witnessing sensitive, hypocritical pundits getting upset over criticism of Newsom for vacationing in Mexico when they rebuked Cruz for the same thing.

Newsom has certainly done a lot however...

He oversaw the first population decline in California's history.
And the average price of a single family home shooting up to almost 24% compared to a year ago.
And a 30% increase in homicides.
And rampant smash and grab crime sprees that are increasingly plaguing businesses.

Newsom also supported Prop 47, in which stealing less than $950 worth of goods is treated as a nonviolent misdemeanor and is rarely prosecuted. How's that working out?

Gosh, Newsom suuuure deserves a vacation.

Ted Cruz doesn't have the same level of power over the state as a governor, but at least he had the common sense to immediately stop his trip and take the first available flight back home.

You gullible mug.


It isn't gullibility, it's slavish devotion.
 
2021-11-26 5:46:45 AM  

Deathfrogg: It isn't gullibility, it's slavish devotion.


It's dysfunction, mental illness of some stripe or another.
 
2021-11-26 6:00:57 AM  

Chromium_One: Deathfrogg: It isn't gullibility, it's slavish devotion.

It's dysfunction, mental illness of some stripe or another.


Or it's a troll.
 
2021-11-26 6:04:26 AM  

The Envoy: Chromium_One: Deathfrogg: It isn't gullibility, it's slavish devotion.

It's dysfunction, mental illness of some stripe or another.

Or it's a troll.


There are no Trolls on FARK.
 
2021-11-26 6:05:28 AM  

The Envoy: Or it's a troll.


You don't consider trolls dysfunctional?
 
2021-11-26 6:09:01 AM  

Chromium_One: The Envoy: Or it's a troll.

You don't consider trolls dysfunctional?


I consider them c*nts, as I do the people the trolls are aping.
 
2021-11-26 7:31:20 AM  
Someone please take out the garbage. It stinks to high heaven.
 
2021-11-26 7:39:56 AM  

The Envoy: Chromium_One: Deathfrogg: It isn't gullibility, it's slavish devotion.

It's dysfunction, mental illness of some stripe or another.

Or it's a troll.


Cruz does the whole "lol i trolled u" thing.
 
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