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(BBC)   An immigrant's opinions on America as he leaves it behind   (bbc.co.uk) divider line
    More: Interesting, Conspiracy theory, United States, friend Jeff, odd conspiracy theories, The Table, Face, Sick, support of friends  
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8175 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 25 Nov 2021 at 7:05 AM (13 days ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



228 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-11-25 6:19:36 AM  
Well, that was poorly written.
 
2021-11-25 7:09:37 AM  
British guy complains about American restaurants? Well here we go then...
 
2021-11-25 7:19:31 AM  

Commander Lysdexic: British guy complains about American restaurants? Well here we go then...


Restaurants != Food

Lots of American restaurants have zero character or any aesthetic appeal beyond somebody else made the food. Eat, look at schlock, get out.
 
2021-11-25 7:23:46 AM  
"I will also give thanks for the weather. America has far more bright, clear days than Britain. Sunlight is the norm "

I'm supposed to believe there's a world-travelling British journalist who's somehow provincial enough to talk about American weather as monolithic? Maybe I do.
 
2021-11-25 7:28:00 AM  
I had no idea gas pumps in the UK don't have an automatic shutoff?

Weird.  Why not?

On that point, when you prepay for gas, why does the pump slow down a damn dollar before you're finished?  It's a machine, it's not trying to time it for a whole number like my dumbass.  Slow it down with 5 cents to go, it's flipping cold out.
 
2021-11-25 7:31:57 AM  
Royals? Only question I have is, "Why haven't you got rid of them yet?"
 
2021-11-25 7:31:58 AM  
So this guy is speaking fondly about America?

Yeah, Fark don't like that one bit.
 
2021-11-25 7:32:06 AM  
Cheerio!
 
2021-11-25 7:34:20 AM  

Tchernobog: I had no idea gas pumps in the UK don't have an automatic shutoff?


They have automatic shut off, but not the ability to lock on. You have to hold the lever all the time.
 
2021-11-25 7:37:17 AM  
Good riddance, limey!
 
2021-11-25 7:39:52 AM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: Tchernobog: I had no idea gas pumps in the UK don't have an automatic shutoff?

They have automatic shut off, but not the ability to lock on. You have to hold the lever all the time.


"The device on petrol pump nozzle where it automatically clicks off when tank is full, so you don't need to keep hand on it"

That lying British bastard.
 
2021-11-25 7:41:45 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-25 7:42:02 AM  

Carter Pewterschmidt: Tchernobog: I had no idea gas pumps in the UK don't have an automatic shutoff?

They have automatic shut off, but not the ability to lock on. You have to hold the lever all the time.


And wear an orange and yellow vest plus a hardhat while filling.
 
2021-11-25 7:42:52 AM  
- Ludicrous hierarchy where you can only talk to waiter/waitress allocated to your table, and not get service from anyone else

Pretty sure that's a Washington DC thing.  Or something particular to where he ended up eating.
 
2021-11-25 7:43:04 AM  

scumm: Well, that was poorly written.


US english wasn't his first language, give the guy a break.
 
2021-11-25 7:43:47 AM  
It's time for Americans to accept that the food in Britain is at least as good, but probably better, than your average American fare.
When I used to go out in the U.K decent pub fare was cheap and a "nice" meal meant a variety of well considered courses and a good bottle of wine without too much damage to the wallet.
Not to mention all the non bastardized international options on offer.
Best American food I've had has always been some take on "pile of meat". Now I love a good pile of meat but...
Well now I just want a pile of meat. Sorry England.
 
2021-11-25 7:44:00 AM  

Tchernobog: I had no idea gas pumps in the UK don't have an automatic shutoff?

Weird.  Why not?

On that point, when you prepay for gas, why does the pump slow down a damn dollar before you're finished?  It's a machine, it's not trying to time it for a whole number like my dumbass.  Slow it down with 5 cents to go, it's flipping cold out.


They do have auto shutoff.  What they don't have is the ability to run unattended as they do in the States, and that always confused me - why the hell do Yanks need to do that?  If there's any nation on Earth that should have the hand strength to operate a petrol pump, it's the Yanks who spend so much of their lives holding cutlery, a phone or a remote control.

Happy Thanksgiving you lot.
 
2021-11-25 7:45:50 AM  
The dude is complaining about a holiday meal in Georgetown, and there is legit someone at the table named Elanor.

In all seriousness, if you find youself in that position, you are, for a comparison he may follow, not very far removed from a dinner with the Queen.

I think you lose your ability to biatch about stuff at that point.
 
2021-11-25 7:46:50 AM  

Only You Can See This: Tchernobog: I had no idea gas pumps in the UK don't have an automatic shutoff?

Weird.  Why not?

On that point, when you prepay for gas, why does the pump slow down a damn dollar before you're finished?  It's a machine, it's not trying to time it for a whole number like my dumbass.  Slow it down with 5 cents to go, it's flipping cold out.

They do have auto shutoff.  What they don't have is the ability to run unattended as they do in the States, and that always confused me - why the hell do Yanks need to do that?  If there's any nation on Earth that should have the hand strength to operate a petrol pump, it's the Yanks who spend so much of their lives holding cutlery, a phone or a remote control.

Happy Thanksgiving you lot.


Clearly you've never had to fill an F250.

Takes....a while....to pump almost 50 gallons.

/Wasn't my truck or my money, thankfully.
 
2021-11-25 7:49:20 AM  

ghostfacekillahrabbit: "I will also give thanks for the weather. America has far more bright, clear days than Britain. Sunlight is the norm "

I'm supposed to believe there's a world-travelling British journalist who's somehow provincial enough to talk about American weather as monolithic? Maybe I do.


I was going to say " how do you say you've never been to Cleveland without saying you've never been to Cleveland?"
 
2021-11-25 7:49:44 AM  

Tchernobog: Only You Can See This: Tchernobog: I had no idea gas pumps in the UK don't have an automatic shutoff?

Weird.  Why not?

On that point, when you prepay for gas, why does the pump slow down a damn dollar before you're finished?  It's a machine, it's not trying to time it for a whole number like my dumbass.  Slow it down with 5 cents to go, it's flipping cold out.

They do have auto shutoff.  What they don't have is the ability to run unattended as they do in the States, and that always confused me - why the hell do Yanks need to do that?  If there's any nation on Earth that should have the hand strength to operate a petrol pump, it's the Yanks who spend so much of their lives holding cutlery, a phone or a remote control.

Happy Thanksgiving you lot.

Clearly you've never had to fill an F250.

Takes....a while....to pump almost 50 gallons.

/Wasn't my truck or my money, thankfully.


If you can afford to fill a F250, you can afford to pay for full service.

/pickups pretty rare over here
//but then petrol is $8 a gallon
///turkey slashies
 
2021-11-25 7:49:54 AM  

Tchernobog: Carter Pewterschmidt: Tchernobog: I had no idea gas pumps in the UK don't have an automatic shutoff?

They have automatic shut off, but not the ability to lock on. You have to hold the lever all the time.

"The device on petrol pump nozzle where it automatically clicks off when tank is full, so you don't need to keep hand on it"

That lying British bastard.


They did the same in Canada.  They removed the handle lock so you don't have to hold onto the lever the whole time at -40c.

I don't know why they would decide this one weird way to torture us.
 
2021-11-25 7:49:59 AM  
Guns - worst bit of my seven years has been going to all the mass shootings

We don't make you go to them. Wait, why were you at so many of them.

Someone check this dude out
 
2021-11-25 7:50:51 AM  

Tchernobog: On that point, when you prepay for gas, why does the pump slow down a damn dollar before you're finished?  It's a machine, it's not trying to time it for a whole number like my dumbass.  Slow it down with 5 cents to go, it's flipping cold out.


Its called fluid dynamics.
 
2021-11-25 7:52:35 AM  

Only You Can See This: Tchernobog: I had no idea gas pumps in the UK don't have an automatic shutoff?

Weird.  Why not?

On that point, when you prepay for gas, why does the pump slow down a damn dollar before you're finished?  It's a machine, it's not trying to time it for a whole number like my dumbass.  Slow it down with 5 cents to go, it's flipping cold out.

They do have auto shutoff.  What they don't have is the ability to run unattended as they do in the States, and that always confused me - why the hell do Yanks need to do that?  If there's any nation on Earth that should have the hand strength to operate a petrol pump, it's the Yanks who spend so much of their lives holding cutlery, a phone or a remote control.

Happy Thanksgiving you lot.


We do it because we multi task as we're filling up the tank. Throw stuff away or sqeegeeing the windows.
 
2021-11-25 7:54:04 AM  

Only You Can See This: Tchernobog: Only You Can See This: Tchernobog: I had no idea gas pumps in the UK don't have an automatic shutoff?

Weird.  Why not?

On that point, when you prepay for gas, why does the pump slow down a damn dollar before you're finished?  It's a machine, it's not trying to time it for a whole number like my dumbass.  Slow it down with 5 cents to go, it's flipping cold out.

They do have auto shutoff.  What they don't have is the ability to run unattended as they do in the States, and that always confused me - why the hell do Yanks need to do that?  If there's any nation on Earth that should have the hand strength to operate a petrol pump, it's the Yanks who spend so much of their lives holding cutlery, a phone or a remote control.

Happy Thanksgiving you lot.

Clearly you've never had to fill an F250.

Takes....a while....to pump almost 50 gallons.

/Wasn't my truck or my money, thankfully.

If you can afford to fill a F250, you can afford to pay for full service.

/pickups pretty rare over here
//but then petrol is $8 a gallon
///turkey slashies


As someone with a 30 gal f150 I can sympathize. Worst is when there are so many damned people at the pumps it's taking a full minute to pump a gallon because of their crappy manifold distribution system... I mean by the second gallon you're pretty much committed
 
2021-11-25 7:54:09 AM  

Only You Can See This: Tchernobog: Only You Can See This: Tchernobog: I had no idea gas pumps in the UK don't have an automatic shutoff?

Weird.  Why not?

On that point, when you prepay for gas, why does the pump slow down a damn dollar before you're finished?  It's a machine, it's not trying to time it for a whole number like my dumbass.  Slow it down with 5 cents to go, it's flipping cold out.

They do have auto shutoff.  What they don't have is the ability to run unattended as they do in the States, and that always confused me - why the hell do Yanks need to do that?  If there's any nation on Earth that should have the hand strength to operate a petrol pump, it's the Yanks who spend so much of their lives holding cutlery, a phone or a remote control.

Happy Thanksgiving you lot.

Clearly you've never had to fill an F250.

Takes....a while....to pump almost 50 gallons.

/Wasn't my truck or my money, thankfully.

If you can afford to fill a F250, you can afford to pay for full service.

/pickups pretty rare over here
//but then petrol is $8 a gallon
///turkey slashies


Full service?

Other than the states where you can't legally pump your own gas, I've driven through pretty much every state barring the southwest and have never seen a full service gas station.
 
2021-11-25 7:54:21 AM  
So long and thanks for nothing, bish.
 
2021-11-25 7:55:53 AM  
"And people will be preparing to gorge themselves on that egregious crime against cooking, sweet potato casserole and marshmallow. I mean sweet potato casserole - yum. Marshmallow - why not. But blended together in one dish? Ewww."

Enough!

* Orwell Prize *
 
2021-11-25 7:56:39 AM  
hoodiowithtudio:

Here here! I was wearing a t shirt outside yesterday, today everything has a glazing of ice
 
2021-11-25 7:57:17 AM  

hoodiowithtudio: Only You Can See This: Tchernobog: I had no idea gas pumps in the UK don't have an automatic shutoff?

Weird.  Why not?

On that point, when you prepay for gas, why does the pump slow down a damn dollar before you're finished?  It's a machine, it's not trying to time it for a whole number like my dumbass.  Slow it down with 5 cents to go, it's flipping cold out.

They do have auto shutoff.  What they don't have is the ability to run unattended as they do in the States, and that always confused me - why the hell do Yanks need to do that?  If there's any nation on Earth that should have the hand strength to operate a petrol pump, it's the Yanks who spend so much of their lives holding cutlery, a phone or a remote control.

Happy Thanksgiving you lot.

We do it because we multi task as we're filling up the tank. Throw stuff away or sqeegeeing the windows.


It's also pretty dangerous.  I've been over there and seen pump handles jump out of filler necks while operating in California due to the spring-loaded vapour recovery system, and merrily spray everything in sight with explosive liquid.  That's why they're not allowed over here.  Although we're just as paranoid about using mobile phones on forecourts with no evidence whatsoever that they can cause an explosion.
 
2021-11-25 7:59:20 AM  

Commander Lysdexic: British guy complains about American restaurants? Well here we go then...


I think there is plenty to complain about in both British & American restaurants. One thing you can't complain about in British restaurants is the staff are not false and they won't get snippy if you leave less than exactly 15% tip.
 
2021-11-25 8:00:12 AM  

Tchernobog: Full service?

Other than the states where you can't legally pump your own gas, I've driven through pretty much every state barring the southwest and have never seen a full service gas station.


JERSEY REPRESENT!

They are out there in the rest of the country, i've occasionally pulled into one, not realized it was a full service lane, and some poor dude who has a different job but is also 'watch the pumps for when someone is in full service' will come running and get pissed at me for being there.

Boring Story Bro: While apparently the law has changes, back in the day, the only other state that wouldn't let you pump your own gas was Oregon. I was driving cross country, obviously filled up a few times along the way, and found myself in Oregon needing gas. As i became accustomed to doing, i got out of my car, and started pumping gas.

Dude came running at me like a madman screaming i couldn't do it (In Jersey, while the law, we don't take it seriously, just the pump usually needs a code to start). Dude was PISSED, chewed me out, then saw my plates and was, "YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER"

also proptip, the code in jersey is pretty much universally the zip code of the town you are in. Please don't steal our gas.
 
2021-11-25 8:01:31 AM  

Tchernobog: Only You Can See This: Tchernobog: Only You Can See This: Tchernobog: I had no idea gas pumps in the UK don't have an automatic shutoff?

Weird.  Why not?

On that point, when you prepay for gas, why does the pump slow down a damn dollar before you're finished?  It's a machine, it's not trying to time it for a whole number like my dumbass.  Slow it down with 5 cents to go, it's flipping cold out.

They do have auto shutoff.  What they don't have is the ability to run unattended as they do in the States, and that always confused me - why the hell do Yanks need to do that?  If there's any nation on Earth that should have the hand strength to operate a petrol pump, it's the Yanks who spend so much of their lives holding cutlery, a phone or a remote control.

Happy Thanksgiving you lot.

Clearly you've never had to fill an F250.

Takes....a while....to pump almost 50 gallons.

/Wasn't my truck or my money, thankfully.

If you can afford to fill a F250, you can afford to pay for full service.

/pickups pretty rare over here
//but then petrol is $8 a gallon
///turkey slashies

Full service?

Other than the states where you can't legally pump your own gas, I've driven through pretty much every state barring the southwest and have never seen a full service gas station.


There's states where you can't legally pump your own gas - why?  Minimum IQ ratings?  Widespread fraud?  Too inbred?  How strange.  The only state here where you can't pump your own petrol is unconscious inebriation.
 
2021-11-25 8:03:38 AM  

drxym: I think there is plenty to complain about in both British & American restaurants. One thing you can't complain about in British restaurants is the staff are not false and they won't get snippy if you leave less than exactly 15% tip.


Its 20%, and you tip against tax and booze unless you are throwing down multiple 200 dollar bottles of wine on the bill, grandma.
 
2021-11-25 8:04:02 AM  

LineNoise: Tchernobog: Full service?

Other than the states where you can't legally pump your own gas, I've driven through pretty much every state barring the southwest and have never seen a full service gas station.

JERSEY REPRESENT!

They are out there in the rest of the country, i've occasionally pulled into one, not realized it was a full service lane, and some poor dude who has a different job but is also 'watch the pumps for when someone is in full service' will come running and get pissed at me for being there.

Boring Story Bro: While apparently the law has changes, back in the day, the only other state that wouldn't let you pump your own gas was Oregon. I was driving cross country, obviously filled up a few times along the way, and found myself in Oregon needing gas. As i became accustomed to doing, i got out of my car, and started pumping gas.

Dude came running at me like a madman screaming i couldn't do it (In Jersey, while the law, we don't take it seriously, just the pump usually needs a code to start). Dude was PISSED, chewed me out, then saw my plates and was, "YOU SHOULD KNOW BETTER"

also proptip, the code in jersey is pretty much universally the zip code of the town you are in. Please don't steal our gas.


How strange.  I've been to full service in Jersey and Oregon, but have never seen one anywhere else, and I've driven a lot.  My sister was a traveling nurse for many years and I ended up driving the moving truck cross country multiple times, you'd think I would have seen one.

It's weird to me, I don't like it, so I'm not complaining.
 
2021-11-25 8:04:10 AM  
When I tell Americans there are those in Britain who could learn from this, they seem startled. Surely, they ask, Britain - with its royal family - is the epitome of etiquette and courtliness. I ask if they've ever tried to get on the Victoria Line at Oxford Circus in the rush hour.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-25 8:04:34 AM  
Fine.

Bye.
 
2021-11-25 8:04:44 AM  
Also you tip in the UK if you aren't a heathen. Certainly not the way you do in the states, but you still do.
 
2021-11-25 8:06:56 AM  

Fireproof: When I tell Americans there are those in Britain who could learn from this, they seem startled. Surely, they ask, Britain - with its royal family - is the epitome of etiquette and courtliness. I ask if they've ever tried to get on the Victoria Line at Oxford Circus in the rush hour.

[Fark user image 425x543]


so much this.

anyone who thinks the british are classy has never been there. only the balkans has more scummy people in europe.
 
2021-11-25 8:08:07 AM  

Father_Jack: Fireproof: When I tell Americans there are those in Britain who could learn from this, they seem startled. Surely, they ask, Britain - with its royal family - is the epitome of etiquette and courtliness. I ask if they've ever tried to get on the Victoria Line at Oxford Circus in the rush hour.

[Fark user image 425x543]

so much this.

anyone who thinks the british are classy has never been there. only the balkans has more scummy people in europe.


User Name hits Ironic tag over the head.
 
2021-11-25 8:09:59 AM  

Tchernobog: I had no idea gas pumps in the UK don't have an automatic shutoff?

Weird.  Why not?

On that point, when you prepay for gas, why does the pump slow down a damn dollar before you're finished?  It's a machine, it's not trying to time it for a whole number like my dumbass.  Slow it down with 5 cents to go, it's flipping cold out.


I like the way the pumps work in Canada. You set your own limit for the credit card when you first put it in. Of course I don't envy the prices they pay for said fuel.
 
2021-11-25 8:10:06 AM  

August11: "And people will be preparing to gorge themselves on that egregious crime against cooking, sweet potato casserole and marshmallow. I mean sweet potato casserole - yum. Marshmallow - why not. But blended together in one dish? Ewww."

Enough!

* Orwell Prize *


I agree with TFA.  That stuff is of the devil.  So is the Cole slaw that someone inevitably brings that's loaded with raisins and pineapple, or the congealed "salad" with celery and carrots and cabbage floating in it.  Thanks, Aunt J. At least your prime rib was delish.  Yaaaay meat.

In other news, Autocorrect kept trying to turn "pineapple" to "pine ape." I have never, in my life, strung those words together.  ARE there pine apes?  Are they good eating?
 
2021-11-25 8:14:04 AM  

Only You Can See This: They do have auto shutoff. What they don't have is the ability to run unattended as they do in the States, and that always confused me - why the hell do Yanks need to do that? If there's any nation on Earth that should have the hand strength to operate a petrol pump, it's the Yanks who spend so much of their lives holding cutlery, a phone or a remote control.


It's a holdover from the days when an attendant pumped the gas for you, and checked your car's oil and fluids while the pump was running.

/yes, I'm that old, and not from NJ
 
2021-11-25 8:16:02 AM  
Lost me at " ghastly excesses of Halloween".

This guy is obviously no fun
 
2021-11-25 8:16:42 AM  

LineNoise: Also you tip in the UK if you aren't a heathen. Certainly not the way you do in the states, but you still do.


generally you tip at restaurants , but not bars (unless you ordered food)

It's weird.
 
2021-11-25 8:17:33 AM  

LaChanz: So this guy is speaking fondly about America?

Yeah, Fark don't like that one bit.


I'm so sorry about who hurt you.
 
2021-11-25 8:18:22 AM  
At least back home he can finally get a decent meal at a Wetherspoons.
 
2021-11-25 8:19:47 AM  

Only You Can See This: There's states where you can't legally pump your own gas - why?  Minimum IQ ratings?  Widespread fraud?  Too inbred?  How strange.  The only state here where you can't pump your own petrol is unconscious inebriation.


The only state i am aware of that it is still a law is my home state, Jersey.

Most folks don't like the law. It slows the process down, we go to other states because we aren't hillbillies and know how to do it.

Every 10 years or so some fresh eyed politician will suggest we drop the law, because it MAY save us a few cents a gallon (we have very reasonable gas prices as is).

It results in marches on the capitol of old people and people who can only find a job pumping gas, and the politician coming out and saying they were stupid for even suggesting it. Like, literally, that is what happened the last time someone tried it, dude got on TV and was "I'm an idiot for suggesting such a thing"

In practice though, nobody cares. Like the pump won't turn on if you don't know the code (see a few posts up if you want to know what it is 90% of the time), but what usually happens is the dude comes over, starts the process for you, and then you put it away because you live in NJ and have better shiat to do than sit at a gas pump.
 
2021-11-25 8:21:16 AM  
"Inflation is rising, the pull-out from Afghanistan was catastrophic, Covid has not gone away, there are supply chain issues that threaten Christmas"

Inflation is rising because of front line workers dealing with the neocon terrorist's war on masks, vaccines,schools, and even scientific facts and math.

The pullout from Afghanistan was meant to be bad, Trumpski negotiated with terrorists for the pullout and left Biden holding the bag, the GOP allowed Biden no changes to the Trumpski-Taliban plans...

Covid has not gone away, the only one who said it would was Trump. Biden is trying to fight Covid in America, but again, republicans are fighting against America's survival.

Supply chain issues are going to be a thing, as long as republicans are allowed to intentionally spread Covid; the republican goal here is to force a federal lockdown, to justify the lockdowns the GOP states want for voting and religious rights.

The next thing the GOP want is bans on any vaccinations for anyone's kids, make polio great again.
 
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