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(Sunday Post)   Glasgow cements its reputation as the Baltimore of Scotland   (sundaypost.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Domestic violence, Violence, Scottish Ambulance Service staff, Ambulance, NHS Scotland, Abuse, Air ambulance, physical assaults  
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2972 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Nov 2021 at 12:20 AM (26 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

 
2021-11-24 10:33:29 PM  
16 votes:

fragMasterFlash: The dreaded Norsemen who raided the English isles stumbled upon Scotland and liked it so much they decided to stay.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-25 12:43:14 AM  
13 votes:

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: Notabunny: FTFA     There have been more than 500 verbal or physical assaults on Scottish Ambulance Service staff in the past 22 months, new data shows.

I call BS for two reasons.
1) It's not possible to tell is someone with a Glaswegian accent is threatening your life or saying Good Morning
2) It's not possible to talk with a Glaswegian w/o being a little thumped, lightly punched, or a little pushed

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/uepFO4psgKE]

#2 is a lie - you certainly can.  You can be getting glassed, decked, and shoved through the nearest window instead for instance


I lay on the sidewalk corrected. All meant in good humor, of course. I love Glasgow, and the people there are amazingly fun and friendly. One time I walked into a pub for lunch, someone heard my American accent, and two days later I was back in my B&B with a vague sense that I'd had fun, and a Polaroid in my pocket of me straddling a cannon.
 
2021-11-24 9:49:42 PM  
7 votes:
FTFA     There have been more than 500 verbal or physical assaults on Scottish Ambulance Service staff in the past 22 months, new data shows.

I call BS for two reasons.
1) It's not possible to tell is someone with a Glaswegian accent is threatening your life or saying Good Morning
2) It's not possible to talk with a Glaswegian w/o being a little thumped, lightly punched, or a little pushed

Bluto's Advice
Youtube uepFO4psgKE
 
2021-11-25 1:00:56 AM  
6 votes:

Notabunny: FTFA     There have been more than 500 verbal or physical assaults on Scottish Ambulance Service staff in the past 22 months, new data shows.

I call BS for two reasons.
1) It's not possible to tell is someone with a Glaswegian accent is threatening your life or saying Good Morning
2) It's not possible to talk with a Glaswegian w/o being a little thumped, lightly punched, or a little pushed

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/uepFO4psgKE]


CHEWIN THE FAT 3 - GLESGAY BANTER
Youtube 7T5K1HxEBCU
 
2021-11-25 4:17:56 AM  
6 votes:
In the early 1960s, I was a mitary brat stationed on the east coast of Scotland about halfway between Glasgow & Aberdeen. Not sure why, but monthly trips to "the City" tended to be Aberdeen. Only went to Glasgow maybe a half-dozen times in 4+ years. But we did a lot of travelling because Brother was in the Army stationed at Augsburg, Bavaria, West Germany. I remember catching a lot of "hops" to fly places for short trips.

I read a decade ago an explanation of my accent: accents " catch" at age 8-9, which was about in the middle of our tour in Scotland. We didn't have a Base school, so I attended the local.

At our next Duty Station, I started having a Speech Therapist because no one could understand me. Even now, if I think about Scotland or get angry or excited, my accent returns.

In HS (Sir finally retired when I was 13), I learned that while other guys were practicing pick-up lines, all I had to do was revert to my Scots accent, walk over to a group, point at a chair and ask, "is th' chairrrr ta'en, then?" Well, questions would be asked and answered, invitation to join accepted, drinks (sodas in HS, natch') ordered & drunk, dances danced, your place or mine, and Robert's a relative!

I just had to be careful not to let Mother hear "That Accent!" because it reminded her of four horrible years she couldn't master British money (then Old Pence). It made no sense to her, and despite Sir being the Air Force Officer, she was the one with a Pilot's License! Why she couldn't grasp 240 pence in the pound baffled Sir & me. And learning that doctors and dentists and actors were paid in guineas actually sent her into a crying depression. (Not that she ever paid for an actor!)

Finally, she wasn't allowed to shop alone because word got around the markets that she could be good for an extra half-crown or shilling, at least a tuppence or two, because she wasn't able to tot up her change coming back. She was only comfortable at the Commissary or BX, but on a small Base, the FFVs (Fresh Fruits & Veggies) were in the town on Market Days, but even the local butchers & greengrocers were onto Mrs Colonel Lurk. They didn't need to thumb the scale, they just knew she couldn't subtract 6p from a shilling, and bingo: 3p profit.

But not if "the Kid" was along. I learned my maths shopping with her and telling her how much was coming back from that two-shilling note. Shopkeepers hated me. One had a squirt gun in case I came too close to her door alone. Mother spent so much of her life in an economy based on 10s, the British Pound & Old Pence was just where the penny stopped for her. A shopkeep telling her something cost "a bob, thrupence ha'penny" may as well have been speaking Lao to her or whistling bird songs. It made no sense (cents) since she never could grasp the money or its nicknames (that 2-shilling note was a "florin," dunno why). Hadn't a clue, my Mother, and couldn't be trusted outside the door with a penny in her purse alone. Sir finally rounded up a gang of fellow Wives to shop with Mother on Market Days for the Duration since I couldn't be pulled from school every week (one Market Day was Saturday).

For four years we did everything we could to teach her how many tuppences were in a half-crown but she could never make it go.

On the ship from Los Angeles to Honolulu (that's how we travelled on orders then), the day before arrival the Purser thought it would be great fun to set up a fake booth to "exchange" American money for "Hawaiian." (In the 1980s, I heard the same joke by a steward on a flight to Hawaii, and there were confused and gullible Americans to be made fun of then, too!) Poor Mother nearly broke down because the Purser was offering "Hawaiian Pounds!" I made him go apologize to her to stop her crying in our stateroom! I had visions of trying to get her ashore when she didn't want to go! And she wasn't tiny: she probably outweighed me twelve stone.

Pounds were money, stones were weight and sometimes distances were in leagues and furlongs. She used to yell at Sir for bringing her to "Crazyland!"

As a teenager, I was allowed Playboys and porn, but I had to hide my Steeleye Span albums (inside Perry Como albums) and could not play them when she was at home until I finally got headphones for my stereo. She never asked why a 70s teen had a half dozen Perry Como albums.
 
2021-11-25 4:25:31 AM  
6 votes:
Voice recognition lift (courtesy BBC Scotland) with subtitles....
Youtube J3lYLphzAnw
 
2021-11-24 10:08:21 PM  
4 votes:
The dreaded Norsemen who raided the English isles stumbled upon Scotland and liked it so much they decided to stay.
 
2021-11-25 12:22:55 AM  
4 votes:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-25 12:54:43 AM  
2 votes:

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: #2 is a lie - you certainly can.  You can be getting glassed, decked, and shoved through the nearest window instead for instance


Buying a Snickers ought not to be so hard.
 
2021-11-25 1:43:57 AM  
2 votes:
What's the Scotland of Baltimore?
 
2021-11-25 1:46:14 AM  
2 votes:
Gordon Bennett:
[iFrame https://www.youtube.com/embed/7T5K1HxEBCU?autoplay=1&widget_referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&start=0&enablejsapi=1&origin=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.fark.com&widgetid=3]

I'm not sure what I just watched but I vaguely LOL'd.
 
2021-11-25 5:07:52 AM  
2 votes:

Lurk Who's Talking: Why she couldn't grasp 240 pence in the pound baffled Sir & me.


c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2021-11-25 9:08:42 AM  
1 vote:

Norfolking Chance: The Repeated Meme: Cajnik: The Repeated Meme: I have been informed by a Glaswegian buddy that many of these attacks occur because the hospital staff wear green, green is the color of Fenian Bastards (Irish/Catholic heritage) and therefore Huns (WASP Rangers football fans) attack the staff for being Fenian Bastards.

/no, really
//if they changed their garb to blue attacks would go down
///Huns gonna Hun

Both Rangers and Celtic fans are delusional trainwrecks.

Not according to cities across Europe, who welcome Celtic fans back but want Rangers fans to DIAF, because, ya know, the wrecking the place thing.

But sure, BSAB so vote White Supremacists, I guess.

Just don't ask the Dutch about Celtic fans, they have a different opinion. So does the Scottish Police.

And UEFA keeps fining Celtic for the fans displaying a banner supporting a man who tried to bomb a furniture shop.

Rangers fans are bad, but so are Celtic fans.


Yeah there were some problems on that occasion with some fans at that one game, I'll give you that.

Scottish police? The cops where you basically have to be in the masons to join?

As for the other reference, Bobby Sands, Member of Parliament?

I mean, I guess by that logic George Washington is a terrorist.

Nothing perfect about Celtic fans by any means, but it's not in the same league as We Are The People (White Anglo Saxon Protestants only need apply).
 
2021-11-25 9:54:57 AM  
1 vote:
Nae th' glescae ah ken 'n' loue

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-25 12:04:42 PM  
1 vote:

lurkey: What's the Scotland of Baltimore?


Dundalk or Middle River.
 
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