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(MEL Magazine)   Would you buy your dog prosthetic testicles so they can feel more whole again?   (melmagazine.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Dog, Gregg Miller, Neutering, scent of a female dog, Miller thinking, pet owners, neuter-hesitant owners, Shawna Henri  
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989 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Nov 2021 at 10:20 AM (2 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



78 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-11-24 9:47:47 AM  
range in price from $159 to $689

Money's tight right now, so he's just gonna have to make do with the Truck Nutz and duct tape I bought him.
 
2021-11-24 9:55:27 AM  
No. Next question.
 
2021-11-24 9:56:15 AM  
*goes into thread to joke about truck nutz*

Weeners

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2021-11-24 10:21:58 AM  
You mean "hole".
 
2021-11-24 10:22:59 AM  
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2021-11-24 10:24:02 AM  
I wouldn't even buy myself fake testicles. Who cares? Hell, I'm putting off getting my new glasses because $800 for a pair of glasses? ffs.
 
2021-11-24 10:24:07 AM  
No.  i think she is just fine the way she is.
 
2021-11-24 10:25:29 AM  
lol. There was a stray that was coming around the house for some time and was starting to look a bit ratty over the course of time so we took it in and adopted him. Took him to the vet to get fixed and found out that he already had been fixed and had silicone implants. That was a WTF experience for sure. This was around 30 years ago.
 
2021-11-24 10:25:53 AM  
That's misogynistic.
 
2021-11-24 10:26:03 AM  
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2021-11-24 10:26:15 AM  
They are used for show dogs.
A dog can't be shown if it does not have all it's parts. Nads included. So if for any reason they ever needed to be removed you used fake nads to fool the judges.
Perks of being a male show dog 1) Breeding opportunities for winners 2) Getting fondled by the judges
 
2021-11-24 10:26:34 AM  
It's the dog's bollocks.
 
2021-11-24 10:27:01 AM  
Yeah, but the dog would get jealous seeing me with them.
 
2021-11-24 10:27:14 AM  
I was working in the vet field when these first hit the market. We played catch with the larger ones and hid the small ones around the non-public areas where others would stumble on them.

I wonder if they still sell the earrings...
 
2021-11-24 10:28:16 AM  

RobotSpider: I wouldn't even buy myself fake testicles. Who cares? Hell, I'm putting off getting my new glasses because $800 for a pair of glasses? ffs.


$240 for a simple prescription at Warby-Parker.

I decided I could do without "progressives" for driving if it saved me $600.

Plus my opthalmologist wrote a script for 22" readers which makes my life in in front of a monitor much nicer.
Another $240. Well worth it. I'll never go back to LensCrafters
 
2021-11-24 10:29:03 AM  
When I got my last rescue dog neutered he had a little floppy bag just dangling around. I felt pretty bad, not 500 bucks bad, but bad.
 
2021-11-24 10:29:20 AM  

Arachnophobe: I was working in the vet field when these first hit the market. We played catch with the larger ones and hid the small ones around the non-public areas where others would stumble on them.

I wonder if they still sell the earrings...


Yes.
 
2021-11-24 10:29:31 AM  
Fake Dog Testicles Made This Man A Millionaire | CNBC
Youtube OGb1z6T2Wqc


Was looking for the Greg the Bunny scene where they replaced a dog testes with two glass balls that played "How Dry I am" [Citation Required]
 
2021-11-24 10:29:33 AM  
I just spent all my spare cash having my own balls ironed to take the wrinkles out.
 
2021-11-24 10:29:36 AM  
I briefly did after neutering my corgi because he came home, splooted out, and wiggled his butt because he knew.

However, they were costly, would require an additional surgery, and I recognized that they would likely cause addition problems down the road as they aged, as most implants do.
 
2021-11-24 10:31:01 AM  

Snaptastic: I briefly did after neutering my corgi because he came home, splooted out, and wiggled his butt because he knew.

However, they were costly, would require an additional surgery, and I recognized that they would likely cause addition problems down the road as they aged, as most implants do.


Plus all he would do is lick them.
 
2021-11-24 10:31:14 AM  

kdawg7736: No. Next question.


But, would you do it because you found it amusing for yourself, to give your dog some grapefruit sized nuts?
 
2021-11-24 10:32:03 AM  

RobotSpider: I wouldn't even buy myself fake testicles. Who cares?


I dunno. If I had money to burn I might.  

"Look at me with 4 testicles!"

I'd probably be the only one who finds it even remotely sexy but I think I'm worth it.
 
2021-11-24 10:32:28 AM  

Flowery Twats: Arachnophobe: I was working in the vet field when these first hit the market. We played catch with the larger ones and hid the small ones around the non-public areas where others would stumble on them.

I wonder if they still sell the earrings...

Yes.


Ha! Just checked and they sure do! Keychains, too!
 
2021-11-24 10:32:39 AM  
"Altogether, he and his investors spent over $100,000 to develop the fake balls, and in 1995, a Rottweiler named Max became the first animal to have them implanted."

Weren't there already such things for humans that could have been adapted to be dog-appropriate?  I assume the shape is easy enough to change, so is the non-reactivity (like being immune system safe) really that difficult to handle for something that is basically an inert insert?  Was the 100k just for whatever veterinary medical product certifications they needed to go through rather than "developing" anything?
 
2021-11-24 10:34:05 AM  

Loki009: lol. There was a stray that was coming around the house for some time and was starting to look a bit ratty over the course of time so we took it in and adopted him. Took him to the vet to get fixed and found out that he already had been fixed and had silicone implants. That was a WTF experience for sure. This was around 30 years ago.


At what point in the procedure did they discover that? Did you get charged?
 
2021-11-24 10:34:32 AM  
This is why the world laughs at us.

This and the maga clowns.
 
2021-11-24 10:36:02 AM  

FarkaDark: They are used for show dogs.
A dog can't be shown if it does not have all it's parts. Nads included. So if for any reason they ever needed to be removed you used fake nads to fool the judges.
Perks of being a male show dog 1) Breeding opportunities for winners 2) Getting fondled by the judges


There's a scam for ya. Breeding a neutered dog.
"Well I guess the first breeding didn't take. We can try again for only $200 if you want."
 
2021-11-24 10:36:09 AM  
My Penny went blind from SARDS at age 5. I would get her a little Geordi LaForge visor if they were available. I suppose the testicles could be useful too, if they had a little rear-view camera in them.
 
2021-11-24 10:37:20 AM  
Just make sure you put the correct size in your squirrel otherwise tens of losers on some obscure website will make your pet their symbol.
 
2021-11-24 10:37:20 AM  
That's nuts.
 
2021-11-24 10:37:45 AM  

dothemath: I just spent all my spare cash having my own balls ironed to take the wrinkles out.


Just get botox. Made my sack smooth like an egg.
 
2021-11-24 10:41:01 AM  
Please, don't take my balls, they are friend.
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Look at them, I love my balls.
 
2021-11-24 10:42:37 AM  
Kip "Half-Sack" Epps does not recommend.

29 comments and I'm the first?
 
2021-11-24 10:44:08 AM  
"the expensive ones have a more natural feel"

It's important to impress the neighbors. The last thing you want is Bob and Janet spreading slander about the firmness and texture of your dog's balls .
 
2021-11-24 10:45:00 AM  
Who are you trying to make feel whole?
 
2021-11-24 10:45:11 AM  
Make sure that they get installed in the right place, or they may place them on the dogs neck (deer leg for scale):
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2021-11-24 10:48:55 AM  

bearded clamorer: range in price from $159 to $689

Money's tight right now, so he's just gonna have to make do with the Truck Nutz and duct tape I bought him.


Deer nuts are under a buck.
 
2021-11-24 10:52:44 AM  
Well, that's some weird synchronicity, I was just thinking about fake dog balls last night.
 
2021-11-24 10:56:13 AM  

ryebread: Well, that's some weird synchronicity, I was just thinking about fake dog balls last night.


I know this Fark but i"m not sure that's something you want to admit on the Internet for all of posterity.

I mean, as far as things to admit to on the Internet, that is relatively tame but still. Context will likely not be provided to future generations.
 
2021-11-24 10:56:50 AM  
I really don't think she'd appreciate them.
 
2021-11-24 10:58:44 AM  

Arachnophobe: Flowery Twats: Arachnophobe: I was working in the vet field when these first hit the market. We played catch with the larger ones and hid the small ones around the non-public areas where others would stumble on them.

I wonder if they still sell the earrings...

Yes.

Ha! Just checked and they sure do! Keychains, too!


Fark user imageView Full Size


Oh, Lance. Did you lose your keys again?
 
2021-11-24 10:58:51 AM  
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2021-11-24 10:59:06 AM  
I'd like to have my own back
married
 
2021-11-24 11:02:10 AM  

xxBirdMadGirlxx: ryebread: Well, that's some weird synchronicity, I was just thinking about fake dog balls last night.

I know this Fark but i"m not sure that's something you want to admit on the Internet for all of posterity.

I mean, as far as things to admit to on the Internet, that is relatively tame but still. Context will likely not be provided to future generations.


ryebread: I've no choice but to change your description in my favorites  /Just when you think you know a guy...sheesh.
 
2021-11-24 11:05:47 AM  
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2021-11-24 11:09:35 AM  

MusicMakeMyHeadPound: RobotSpider: I wouldn't even buy myself fake testicles. Who cares?

I dunno. If I had money to burn I might.  

"Look at me with 4 testicles!"

I'd probably be the only one who finds it even remotely sexy but I think I'm worth it.


Remotely? With four balls you'd at least get to first base.
 
2021-11-24 11:13:07 AM  
Would I? I bought him four, XXL. He's a 25lb rat terrier, but he's got the balls of two Rottweilers.
 
2021-11-24 11:14:29 AM  
Ted Cruz needs a pair after trump stole his nuts on live tv.
 
2021-11-24 11:17:53 AM  
There needs to be full-blown pet health insurance.
 
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