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(Cosmiverse)   Military laser weapon brings death at light speed   ( cosmiverse.com) divider line
    More: Followup  
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7005 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Feb 2002 at 2:21 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

54 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-02-18 02:22:48 PM  
"This one's for you, grandma!!!"
2002-02-18 02:22:52 PM  
death can't come fast enough
2002-02-18 02:23:04 PM  
Lousy old woman....
2002-02-18 02:23:55 PM  
[follow up]...right
2002-02-18 02:24:28 PM  

[image from prime-fe1.lvcm.com too old to be available]
2002-02-18 02:24:53 PM  
should just have a [repeat] tag option
2002-02-18 02:25:34 PM  
Just like the magnifying glass and the ants when I was a kid, huh?
Can't wait until we turn it on those towelhead terrorists.
Pictures of matchstick men with their heads on fire.
2002-02-18 02:26:47 PM  
USA...We kick ass!
2002-02-18 02:27:16 PM  
Hey, anybody got a light?!
2002-02-18 02:27:43 PM  
nice CvB reference there Slayerswine.
2002-02-18 02:28:55 PM  
Heheheheheheheheheheheh...I'm not a flag waver, but I find it hilarious that our enemies will be running from bigass cargo planes with LASER GUNS. I mean, holy shiat...
2002-02-18 02:29:37 PM  
2002-02-18 02:30:29 PM  
But they're useless once the impulse engines are knocked out.
2002-02-18 02:31:34 PM  
I say,Q, could you put one in the boot of the Aston Martin,
I'll come pick it up about two-ish....
2002-02-18 02:32:24 PM  
2002-02-18 02:33:20 PM  
[image from theforce.net too old to be available]
[image from theforce.net too old to be available]
2002-02-18 02:38:09 PM  
I hope that I can see this demonstrated at the next Air Show!!!

I live close to MacDill AFB... Central Command!
2002-02-18 02:41:21 PM  
great. just great. guys, think about what we're talking about here... man has just come up with a way to more efficiently kill one another, and most of you are happy about it! we deserve to be wiped out as a species...
2002-02-18 02:43:31 PM  
Sheilds down to 75% Captian!!
2002-02-18 02:45:29 PM  
Now why do they show a photo of a C-130 deploying flares?
[image from cosmiverse.com too old to be available]

Meanwhile, I first heard of this "laser gunship" back in 1996 from a friend who works at Lockheed. Sure, he really wasn't supposed to tell anyone, but he did.

-he who stacks pork
2002-02-18 02:47:49 PM  
What's with all the repeat news lately?
2002-02-18 02:48:00 PM  
This is hillarious... more vaporware from the pentigon ( no pun intended - I lied - pun intended but limp.)

Designed for the AC-130 except the power supply is too big and MAYBE sometime in the future they will make it smaller. But it would fit in the lumbering C-130 so pygmies with blow guns could shoot it down.

But wait - there is more. The AC-130 is going out of service so they will someday build the son 'o AC130 to carry the someday smaller power supply.

And some day pigs will fly...
2002-02-18 02:48:52 PM  
New toy!!
2002-02-18 02:51:25 PM  
Actually, one of the advantages is that it is more exact and more localized. There is no wind drift, so when it is properly aimed, it WILL hit that building and that building only. If military equipment is parked outside of a civilian building, it will be possible to hit the equipment with little to no damage to the civilian building.

It is NOT a more efficient way to kill one another, bombs are cheaper and much easier to deploy. It is better at keeping the innocents out of the way.
2002-02-18 03:09:24 PM  
1)But what if Kane and the army of NOD h4x0r this weapon?
2)Think how much shorter "Enemy of the State" would have been if the feds had had a Flying Laser Cannon o' Death(tm). That should make you say "hmmm."
2002-02-18 03:20:03 PM  
Leopold: That's the standard picture attached to the USAF AC-130 fact sheet. Probably the standard PR photo that's free for all to use.

Tsunami: The "lumbering" C-130 is actually faster than the AC-130. Flies higher, too. Don't know what effect the addition of the COIL will have.

If we really wanted to save money, I imagine we could scrap Son of Spectre and install the COIL on Spooky, the latest AC-130 design, which Cosmiverse seems to have ignored.
2002-02-18 03:22:11 PM  
thank god for american inventiveness in the field of killing other human beings. now we have another little invention which we'll be able to steal, improve and perhaps find more peacefull uses for.
2002-02-18 03:44:53 PM  

2002-02-18 03:52:17 PM  
We can weigh the pros and cons on this but this seems to be right in there with Star Wars. Interesting idea, hellishly expensive to implement, questionable effecacy, deliverable 2, 3 or 4 years from now.

I think a humungus, cheap, parabolic mirror on the roof of every building may make for interesting results. Like the mirror/prism the astronauts left on the moon to reflect lasers back to the source.

The enemy will be sure to put them on the roofs of hospitals and schools so their mere presense deters attack.

Expensive complex technology will sucumb to cheap pragmatic defenses every time.

Tsunami's 3 principle of war.
2002-02-18 03:58:09 PM  
What's really cool is when a couple of college students will hack into the plane and cause it to shoot the laser at their backstabbing professor's house. Then popcorn will burst out of the house and then you start hearing "Everybody Wants to Rule the World".
2002-02-18 04:10:11 PM  
Tennessee: hahahaha, Real Genius... classic 80s movie ending

My roommate watched that with me a couple months ago on Showtime after I raved to him about how good it was. Of course, the last time I had seen it was 1987, and I ended up getting ripped on for quite a few weeks. Ah well, still priceless. :)
2002-02-18 04:47:29 PM  
Today: Plane mounted laser weapons.
Tomorrow: Ion cannons.
The Day After Tomorrow: Monkeys with special implants that let them shoot lasers out of their eyes.
2002-02-18 04:50:54 PM  
Fallom: the day after the day after tomorrow:
Wings for the monkeys.
2002-02-18 05:06:54 PM  
Oh, c'mon, no one got the C&C joke?
What is the web coming to??

2002-02-18 05:51:51 PM  
Grand_High_Took we got the C&C joke, it just wasn't funny
2002-02-18 06:10:39 PM  
Is it too much to ask to have C-130s with frikin lazer beams?
2002-02-18 06:12:42 PM  

The Day After The Day After Tomorrow: Dogs with bees in their mouths, and when they bark they shoot bees at you.
2002-02-18 06:13:17 PM  
So, can't I just hire a bunch of grunts to run around with mirrors to deflect the laser beam of death?
2002-02-18 06:14:35 PM  
Fallom: The monkies would have to have self-monitoring methamphetamine and steroid IVs...for that extra "oomph".
2002-02-18 06:16:24 PM  
Well, I have to disagree with the "More effective way to kill each other" argument. Bombs and guns are more effective than lasers by far, as are knives for that matter. Cheaper too.

Lasers, of any kind we might develop right now, would cause far too little damage of the kind that soldiers rely on to stop their enemies: tissue damage, shock and blood loss. 3mm laser creates a 3mm hole straight through it's intended target and cauterizes the whole damn wound, nerve endings, tissue and all. If the target doesn't drop from shock, they most likely won't drop at all, unless the heart, brain or lungs get punctured.

Also, contrary to popular belief, lasers are not "scribble" weapons that can be dragged across an area like a flame-thrower. They just don't work that way. They lack the cohesion necessary to deliver all that energy if they're not held on the same point until the entire discharge is delivered. There is no way currently to "spread" laser fire like automatic weapons or "spray" it like flame-throwers.

Any significant advancement in weapons technology large enough to supplant guns as the mainstay weapon would require backpack sized power sources before it could be effectively used. This goes for lasers, plasma weapons, gauss weapons, whatever. Until that time comes, the AK-47 will still be the weapon of choice for those times "when you absolutely, positively have to kill every mother farker in the room."

Except no substitutions.
2002-02-18 06:16:37 PM  
"Brotherhood Of NOD" would have been better than "Army of NOD".
2002-02-18 06:20:54 PM  
Im more of a fan of the New Soviet Republic myself. NOD who?
2002-02-18 06:27:39 PM  
Noble kings and princes would bow whene'er they came
Pirate ships would lower their flags when Puff roared out his name
2002-02-18 06:34:05 PM  
2002-02-18 07:11:02 PM  
Astrocat - what the hell is that?
2002-02-18 08:57:12 PM  

A blind soldier is a dead soldier.
2002-02-18 09:34:48 PM  
Personally, I prefer that we push the enemy out of windows.
2002-02-18 11:28:15 PM  
I'm all for this, as long as the good guys all use blue lasers and the bad guys red ones, just like in the G.I. Joe cartoons.
2002-02-19 04:55:10 AM  
Yeah, death at 3250 feet per second is just too damn slow!
2002-02-19 11:35:39 AM  
Louisvile Slugger
Archy Bunker reference?
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