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(The Daily Beast)   Questions you find yourself asking as you lay in bed, wide awake, at 2am   (thedailybeast.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Kim Jong-il, North Korea, Kim Jong Chul, Kim Il-sung, South Korea, health of Kim Jong Un, 37-year-old Kim Jong Un, Kim Jong Un  
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6279 clicks; posted to Main » and Politics » on 07 Nov 2021 at 3:02 PM (34 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



107 Comments     (+0 »)
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2021-11-07 1:27:04 PM  
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2021-11-07 1:51:43 PM  
Which toothbrush does the 5th dentist recommend?
 
2021-11-07 2:17:31 PM  
WIth no biting, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
 
2021-11-07 2:18:01 PM  
Who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp?

And further, who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong?
 
2021-11-07 3:06:04 PM  
"What's the difference between 'lie' and 'lay'?"
 
2021-11-07 3:07:40 PM  
Why do 24 hour convenience stores have locks on the doors?
 
2021-11-07 3:09:36 PM  
Then again, who really cares?
 
2021-11-07 3:09:49 PM  
Why isn't Steve Bannon in jail yet?

/sorry
 
2021-11-07 3:10:36 PM  
Why is there a ruler on the wrappers of my sticks of butter?
 
2021-11-07 3:12:29 PM  
Why would a woodchuck chuck wood?
 
2021-11-07 3:13:25 PM  
"Why is it suddenly 1am again?"
 
2021-11-07 3:13:40 PM  
How does everybody not know that I'm a fraud?
 
2021-11-07 3:19:17 PM  
I used to lay in bed at night, wide awake and worried.

But then I stopped worrying.
 
2021-11-07 3:20:01 PM  
How many days left before the US collapses into a crossover-combo John Wick/The Purge movie written, directed, produced by, and starring gross idiots?
 
2021-11-07 3:20:57 PM  

apathy2673: Why is there a ruler on the wrappers of my sticks of butter?


Tell me without telling me you've never baked anything.
 
2021-11-07 3:26:57 PM  
I thought little Kim's sister was going to take over if Kim died.
 
2021-11-07 3:27:26 PM  

apathy2673: Why is there a ruler on the wrappers of my sticks of butter?


So you can estimate how much you get with each lick.
 
2021-11-07 3:32:31 PM  
I only lie awake at 2 a.m. twice a year.
 
2021-11-07 3:33:06 PM  

Jake Havechek: Why would a woodchuck chuck wood?


I don't know why a woodchuck would chuck wood but a woodchuck would chuck all the wood that a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
 
2021-11-07 3:35:00 PM  

I May Be Crazy But...: apathy2673: Why is there a ruler on the wrappers of my sticks of butter?

So you can estimate how much you get with each lick.


Lick?  You're not supposed to eat the stuff raw, that's so gross.  The marks are there so you know how much to give each plate of pan cakes.  A good cook doesn't even need to read them though, can even close your eyes and bite the right spot thanks to repetitive experience before spitting it onto the plate of delicious fresh pan cakes for your customers.
 
2021-11-07 3:41:48 PM  
Why do birds sing so gay?
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2021-11-07 3:43:41 PM  
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2021-11-07 3:44:28 PM  
external-preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2021-11-07 3:44:46 PM  

BumpInTheNight: I May Be Crazy But...: apathy2673: Why is there a ruler on the wrappers of my sticks of butter?

So you can estimate how much you get with each lick.

Lick?  You're not supposed to eat the stuff raw, that's so gross.  The marks are there so you know how much to give each plate of pan cakes.  A good cook doesn't even need to read them though, can even close your eyes and bite the right spot thanks to repetitive experience before spitting it onto the plate of delicious fresh pan cakes for your customers.


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2021-11-07 3:49:39 PM  

MillionDollarMo: I used to lay in bed at night, wide awake and worried.

But then I stopped worrying.


...and learned to love the bomb?
 
2021-11-07 4:08:18 PM  

Valter: How does everybody not know that I'm a fraud?


They do, they do Valter.
 
2021-11-07 4:09:11 PM  
Why am I having a panic attack after waking up from a nightmare I can't fully remember.
 
2021-11-07 4:14:55 PM  

buserror: MillionDollarMo: I used to lay in bed at night, wide awake and worried.

But then I stopped worrying.

...and learned to love the bomb?


Pretty much.
Got to embrace the bomb.
 
2021-11-07 4:20:30 PM  
I assume the older brother has been killed, just like the oldest brother.
 
2021-11-07 4:22:29 PM  
Maybe his brother is working in a KFC in Kansas City. Or hiking the Appalachian Trail.
 
2021-11-07 4:32:34 PM  
His terrifying sister bathed in his blood.
 
2021-11-07 4:36:22 PM  

jimjays: Jake Havechek: Why would a woodchuck chuck wood?

I don't know why a woodchuck would chuck wood but a woodchuck would chuck all the wood that a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.


Woodchuck Geico Commercial
Youtube CHfbLlcJMuA
 
2021-11-07 4:37:09 PM  
"Was that a fart?"
 
2021-11-07 4:40:33 PM  
Is it too late to launch my career in Bollywood?
 
2021-11-07 4:46:23 PM  
Why do you drive on a parkway and park in a driveway?
 
2021-11-07 4:46:29 PM  
2am?  That's pretty early for bed.
 
2021-11-07 4:47:36 PM  
If a nuke were to go off in a metropolitan area, would there be a certain radius around the explosion that would perfectly cook all the frozen pizzas in supermarkets?
 
2021-11-07 4:48:33 PM  

Englebert Slaptyback: "What's the difference between 'lie' and 'lay'?"


High school boys lie about getting a lay.
 
2021-11-07 4:49:33 PM  
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2021-11-07 4:50:41 PM  

cretinbob: "Was that a fart?"


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2021-11-07 4:50:54 PM  
Why does a mirror reverse you left to right, but not top to bottom?
 
2021-11-07 4:51:51 PM  
"What is the sound of one hand fapping?"
 
2021-11-07 5:01:29 PM  

Xcott: Why does a mirror reverse you left to right, but not top to bottom?


Because your eyes are beside each other, not one on top of the other.  If you close one eye, then you don't get flipped left-to-right either.

Show of hands, how many people considered checking that in a mirror?

The real answer is that it doesn't.  The mirror simply shows exactly what is show to it.  We think it's flipped because in order to look out of the mirror, we'd turn around, flipping ourselves.
 
2021-11-07 5:11:32 PM  
Why didn't Donald Trump's mother swallow?
 
2021-11-07 5:13:12 PM  
A squid game got him!
 
2021-11-07 5:14:25 PM  
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
 
2021-11-07 5:26:28 PM  

Rann Xerox: Why didn't Donald Trump's mother swallow?


scotsman.comView Full Size

he was a clone
 
2021-11-07 5:30:27 PM  

BumpInTheNight: [Fark user image image 460x910]


Jesus Christ why is this so funny to me.
 
2021-11-07 5:35:08 PM  
Why do you drive on a parkway, but park in the driveway?
 
2021-11-07 5:38:18 PM  

Valter: How does everybody not know that I'm a fraud?


We're just polite
 
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