Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Jeff Bezos originally offered Capt. Kirk's seat to Tom Hanks, apparently having never seen any movie involving Tom Hanks and all forms of transportation   (news.yahoo.com) divider line
    More: Followup, Richard Branson, Space tourism, American film actors, Virgin Galactic, Brad Pitt, 65-year-old actor, Tom Hanks, Golden Globe Award for Best Actor - Motion Picture Drama  
•       •       •

512 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Nov 2021 at 8:20 PM (10 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



57 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-11-03 6:33:14 PM  
He should have brought them both on board, could have made a good sitcom.

"Tom, if you say 'Houston we have a problem' one more time, I swear to Christ..."

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-03 8:25:53 PM  
Apollo 13
Sully
Castaway
Captain Philips
Polar express

What'd we miss?
 
2021-11-03 8:27:32 PM  

mariner314: Apollo 13
Sully
Castaway
Captain Philips
Polar express

What'd we miss?


Greyhound
 
2021-11-03 8:29:59 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

TOM HANK!
 
2021-11-03 8:38:09 PM  

The Bestest: mariner314: Apollo 13
Sully
Castaway
Captain Philips
Polar express

What'd we miss?

Greyhound


Ah. Haven't watched that yet.

Bus driver is where I draw the line.
 
2021-11-03 8:46:49 PM  
I was just about to post "You know subs, just because he did that one movie that one time..."

And then I checked Mr. Hanks' filmography and instead I'm going to post

"I ain't never going anywhere with Tom Hanks."

"Farked Up Ride Movies" with Mr. Hanks is a pretty long (and good) list.

Warning: SPOILERS!!!

1985:  The Man With One Red Shoe - Dude loses a shoe!
1986: Every Time We Say Goodbye - Dude gets his bomber shot out from under him.
1990: Joe vs The Volcano - Dude's boat sinks after getting struck by lightning.
1995:  Apollo 13 - Dude goes to space in a busted rocket ship
2000: Cast Away - Dude shoulda worked for UPS
2002: Catch Me if You Can - Dude chases another dude for (maybe) pretending to be a pilot
2004: The Terminal - Dude stuck at the airport
2004:  The Polar Express - Dude's train stuck in the snow
2011:  Larry Crown - Fired dude can't afford to drive the Escalade, so gets a moped instead
2011: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - Dude shoulda taken the day off
2013: Captain Phillips -  Dude ain't the captain no more.
2015:  Ithaca - Dude's son rides a bicycle because HE'S DEAD
2016: Sully - Dude don't need no stinkin' runway
2020:  Greyhound - Despite being shot at, Dude manages not to sink *this* boat.

And let us not forget, his first credited screen appearance was on Love Boat.  Make of that what you will.

You are all safer if he takes public transportation.
 
2021-11-03 8:48:28 PM  

mariner314: Apollo 13
Sully
Castaway
Captain Philips
Polar express

What'd we miss?


Bosom Buddies. His travel on the elevator always changed him. Not disastrously, that show was a comedy.
 
2021-11-03 8:49:02 PM  
Could have been worse. If Matt Damon ever goes to space they better have a backup ready on the pad to go rescue him.
 
2021-11-03 8:55:00 PM  

Rent Party: I was just about to post "You know subs, just because he did that one movie that one time..."

And then I checked Mr. Hanks' filmography and instead I'm going to post

"I ain't never going anywhere with Tom Hanks."

"Farked Up Ride Movies" with Mr. Hanks is a pretty long (and good) list.

Warning: SPOILERS!!!

1985:  The Man With One Red Shoe - Dude loses a shoe!
1986: Every Time We Say Goodbye - Dude gets his bomber shot out from under him.
1990: Joe vs The Volcano - Dude's boat sinks after getting struck by lightning.
1995:  Apollo 13 - Dude goes to space in a busted rocket ship
2000: Cast Away - Dude shoulda worked for UPS
2002: Catch Me if You Can - Dude chases another dude for (maybe) pretending to be a pilot
2004: The Terminal - Dude stuck at the airport
2004:  The Polar Express - Dude's train stuck in the snow
2011:  Larry Crown - Fired dude can't afford to drive the Escalade, so gets a moped instead
2011: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - Dude shoulda taken the day off
2013: Captain Phillips -  Dude ain't the captain no more.
2015:  Ithaca - Dude's son rides a bicycle because HE'S DEAD
2016: Sully - Dude don't need no stinkin' runway
2020:  Greyhound - Despite being shot at, Dude manages not to sink *this* boat.

And let us not forget, his first credited screen appearance was on Love Boat.  Make of that what you will.

You are all safer if he takes public transportation.


That's how Speed 3 happens
 
2021-11-03 8:57:37 PM  
Magic Missile makes man mental:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-03 8:59:15 PM  
Wow, this thread has showed me that Tom Hanks seems like a good guy and I haven't seen everything he was in but aside from Apollo 13, Saving Private Ryan and Bosom Buddies, I can't stand anything he's been in. And Forrest Gump was unforgivable.
 
2021-11-03 9:01:53 PM  
And then there was the time CGI Tom Hanks lit a rocket.

/rockets explode
 
2021-11-03 9:15:05 PM  
I won't worry about Hanks, he plays people who crash things. I would be scared to be on anything with Harrison Ford!
 
2021-11-03 9:29:13 PM  

Rob3Fan: Could have been worse. If Matt Damon ever goes to space they better have a backup ready on the pad to go rescue him.


Yeah, an experienced pilot like Harrison Ford.  Hmm, maybe not him.
 
2021-11-03 9:31:49 PM  

mariner314: Apollo 13
Sully
Castaway
Captain Philips
Polar express

What'd we miss?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-03 9:33:02 PM  

Rob3Fan: Could have been worse. If Matt Damon ever goes to space they better have a backup ready on the pad to go rescue him.


Maybe if he rides with Tom Hanks he'll make it back.

We'd all feel bad about poor Tom though.
 
2021-11-03 9:45:48 PM  
Shatner isn't exactly easy on vehicles. That creature ripped the wings off that plan he was on. And he crashed the Enterprise at least a couple of times.
 
2021-11-03 9:48:30 PM  
And he's a terrible travel companion even without considering his movies.

Fun Fact: Before every flight, Tom Hanks is allowed to board early so there's no commotion at the gate.
But before that, he consumes nothing but beer and cheese for an hour, then walks around the empty first class cabin farting on the headrest of every seat.
 
2021-11-03 9:49:59 PM  

Inaditch: And he crashed the Enterprise at least a couple of times.


He set the self destruct once. And killed a lot of Klingons doing it. He never crashed it.
 
2021-11-03 9:51:50 PM  

Inaditch: Shatner isn't exactly easy on vehicles. That creature ripped the wings off that plan he was on. And he crashed the Enterprise at least a couple of times.


He saved those passengers on that plane, forcing a landing before the gremlin finished tearing the engine out. And A) he scuttled the Enterprise, killing Klingon hijackers, and B) he wasn't in command on the Enterprise B, and that ship survived, too.
 
2021-11-03 9:53:19 PM  
I must be thinking of one of the Next Gen movies where the Enterprise crashes through a bunch of trees. It's been a while.
 
2021-11-03 9:54:27 PM  

Inaditch: I must be thinking of one of the Next Gen movies where the Enterprise crashes through a bunch of trees. It's been a while.


That was Troi at the helm.
 
2021-11-03 9:55:34 PM  

Inaditch: I must be thinking of one of the Next Gen movies where the Enterprise crashes through a bunch of trees. It's been a while.


Yeah, that was Counselor Troi who has control of the Enterprise for all of two minutes and immediately crashed it.
 
2021-11-03 10:00:19 PM  
Joe vs. The Giant Dildo seems more like Amazon e-book.
 
2021-11-03 10:02:45 PM  
data.whicdn.comView Full Size
 
2021-11-03 10:03:19 PM  

Rent Party: I was just about to post "You know subs, just because he did that one movie that one time..."

And then I checked Mr. Hanks' filmography and instead I'm going to post

"I ain't never going anywhere with Tom Hanks."

"Farked Up Ride Movies" with Mr. Hanks is a pretty long (and good) list.

Warning: SPOILERS!!!

1985:  The Man With One Red Shoe - Dude loses a shoe!
1986: Every Time We Say Goodbye - Dude gets his bomber shot out from under him.
1990: Joe vs The Volcano - Dude's boat sinks after getting struck by lightning.
1995:  Apollo 13 - Dude goes to space in a busted rocket ship
2000: Cast Away - Dude shoulda worked for UPS
2002: Catch Me if You Can - Dude chases another dude for (maybe) pretending to be a pilot
2004: The Terminal - Dude stuck at the airport
2004:  The Polar Express - Dude's train stuck in the snow
2011:  Larry Crown - Fired dude can't afford to drive the Escalade, so gets a moped instead
2011: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - Dude shoulda taken the day off
2013: Captain Phillips -  Dude ain't the captain no more.
2015:  Ithaca - Dude's son rides a bicycle because HE'S DEAD
2016: Sully - Dude don't need no stinkin' runway
2020:  Greyhound - Despite being shot at, Dude manages not to sink *this* boat.

And let us not forget, his first credited screen appearance was on Love Boat.  Make of that what you will.

You are all safer if he takes public transportation.


Counter point:

Forest dump has amazing luck
 
2021-11-03 10:04:09 PM  

OkieDookie: Joe vs. The Giant Dildo seems more like Amazon e-book.


Or a Presidential election.
 
2021-11-03 10:04:11 PM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: Rent Party: I was just about to post "You know subs, just because he did that one movie that one time..."

And then I checked Mr. Hanks' filmography and instead I'm going to post

"I ain't never going anywhere with Tom Hanks."

"Farked Up Ride Movies" with Mr. Hanks is a pretty long (and good) list.

Warning: SPOILERS!!!

1985:  The Man With One Red Shoe - Dude loses a shoe!
1986: Every Time We Say Goodbye - Dude gets his bomber shot out from under him.
1990: Joe vs The Volcano - Dude's boat sinks after getting struck by lightning.
1995:  Apollo 13 - Dude goes to space in a busted rocket ship
2000: Cast Away - Dude shoulda worked for UPS
2002: Catch Me if You Can - Dude chases another dude for (maybe) pretending to be a pilot
2004: The Terminal - Dude stuck at the airport
2004:  The Polar Express - Dude's train stuck in the snow
2011:  Larry Crown - Fired dude can't afford to drive the Escalade, so gets a moped instead
2011: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - Dude shoulda taken the day off
2013: Captain Phillips -  Dude ain't the captain no more.
2015:  Ithaca - Dude's son rides a bicycle because HE'S DEAD
2016: Sully - Dude don't need no stinkin' runway
2020:  Greyhound - Despite being shot at, Dude manages not to sink *this* boat.

And let us not forget, his first credited screen appearance was on Love Boat.  Make of that what you will.

You are all safer if he takes public transportation.

Counter point:

Forest dump has amazing luck


Sorry I meant Forest Gump. Forest dump was a scat parody parody on pronhub
 
2021-11-03 10:13:31 PM  

Boojum2k: That was Troi at the helm.


Mugato: Yeah, that was Counselor Troi who has control of the Enterprise for all of two minutes and immediately crashed it.



In Star Trek: Generations, she took the helm when another crew member got zapped. She didn't do a lot of maneuvering as the Enterprise-D destroyed Lursa and B'Etor's old class D-12 Bird of Prey. When they performed the saucer separation maneuver, she was attempting to maneuver the Saucer Section to a safe distance, but this was interrupted when the Stardrive Section exploded due to its warp core breach, and the resulting shockwave slammed into the Saucer Section.
After that happened, the very next thing that happened was that Riker called, "Report!" and Troi responded, "Helm controls are offline!" From that point on, she had zero control of the Saucer Section as it proved to be on a collision course with the surface of Veridian III.
 
ENS
2021-11-03 10:18:08 PM  

mariner314: Apollo 13
Sully
Castaway
Captain Philips
Polar express

What'd we miss?


Fell off a boat in Splash
 
2021-11-03 10:20:23 PM  

Rent Party: I was just about to post "You know subs, just because he did that one movie that one time..."

And then I checked Mr. Hanks' filmography and instead I'm going to post

"I ain't never going anywhere with Tom Hanks."

"Farked Up Ride Movies" with Mr. Hanks is a pretty long (and good) list.

Warning: SPOILERS!!!

1985:  The Man With One Red Shoe - Dude loses a shoe!
1986: Every Time We Say Goodbye - Dude gets his bomber shot out from under him.
1990: Joe vs The Volcano - Dude's boat sinks after getting struck by lightning.
1995:  Apollo 13 - Dude goes to space in a busted rocket ship
2000: Cast Away - Dude shoulda worked for UPS
2002: Catch Me if You Can - Dude chases another dude for (maybe) pretending to be a pilot
2004: The Terminal - Dude stuck at the airport
2004:  The Polar Express - Dude's train stuck in the snow
2011:  Larry Crown - Fired dude can't afford to drive the Escalade, so gets a moped instead
2011: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - Dude shoulda taken the day off
2013: Captain Phillips -  Dude ain't the captain no more.
2015:  Ithaca - Dude's son rides a bicycle because HE'S DEAD
2016: Sully - Dude don't need no stinkin' runway
2020:  Greyhound - Despite being shot at, Dude manages not to sink *this* boat.

And let us not forget, his first credited screen appearance was on Love Boat.  Make of that what you will.

You are all safer if he takes public transportation.


I mean come on they aren't all bad.

Look at Private Ryan -- at least the boat delivered him safely to the beach.
Or The Money Pit -- the house didn't have to travel anywhere.
And Turner and Hooch -- yes the dog died but at least it wasn't in his car.
League of Their Own -- the bus never broke down crying. Although the team did.

Splash? Why boat when you got a mermaid. Bachelor Party? Look at those tits, they're huge. Big? Simple: Don't go to Coney Island. Philadelphia? AIDS doesn't use transportation. Forrest Gump? He just ran everywhere. Anything with Meg Ryan in it? Well she lived, didn't she. The Burbs? Well the whole point of the suburbs is that you don't have to go anywhere.

Jesus Christ I've seen a lot of Tom Hanks movies.
 
2021-11-03 10:29:16 PM  

ENS: mariner314: Apollo 13
Sully
Castaway
Captain Philips
Polar express

What'd we miss?

Fell off a boat in Splash


Fell off Elizabeth Perkins in Big.
 
2021-11-03 10:30:17 PM  

ZMugg: Boojum2k: That was Troi at the helm.

Mugato: Yeah, that was Counselor Troi who has control of the Enterprise for all of two minutes and immediately crashed it.


In Star Trek: Generations, she took the helm when another crew member got zapped. She didn't do a lot of maneuvering as the Enterprise-D destroyed Lursa and B'Etor's old class D-12 Bird of Prey. When they performed the saucer separation maneuver, she was attempting to maneuver the Saucer Section to a safe distance, but this was interrupted when the Stardrive Section exploded due to its warp core breach, and the resulting shockwave slammed into the Saucer Section.
After that happened, the very next thing that happened was that Riker called, "Report!" and Troi responded, "Helm controls are offline!" From that point on, she had zero control of the Saucer Section as it proved to be on a collision course with the surface of Veridian III.


In the Star Trek universe, "Deanna, take the helm" is apparently equal to "Jesus, take the wheel!"
 
2021-11-03 10:35:37 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size

Look at me!  This is my spacecraft now!
 
2021-11-03 10:41:17 PM  

Mugato: Inaditch: I must be thinking of one of the Next Gen movies where the Enterprise crashes through a bunch of trees. It's been a while.

Yeah, that was Counselor Troi who has control of the Enterprise for all of two minutes and immediately crashed it.


There is a completely inappropriate joke in there about letting women drive...
 
2021-11-03 10:43:25 PM  

Ishkur: Rent Party: I was just about to post "You know subs, just because he did that one movie that one time..."

And then I checked Mr. Hanks' filmography and instead I'm going to post

"I ain't never going anywhere with Tom Hanks."

"Farked Up Ride Movies" with Mr. Hanks is a pretty long (and good) list.

Warning: SPOILERS!!!

1985:  The Man With One Red Shoe - Dude loses a shoe!
1986: Every Time We Say Goodbye - Dude gets his bomber shot out from under him.
1990: Joe vs The Volcano - Dude's boat sinks after getting struck by lightning.
1995:  Apollo 13 - Dude goes to space in a busted rocket ship
2000: Cast Away - Dude shoulda worked for UPS
2002: Catch Me if You Can - Dude chases another dude for (maybe) pretending to be a pilot
2004: The Terminal - Dude stuck at the airport
2004:  The Polar Express - Dude's train stuck in the snow
2011:  Larry Crown - Fired dude can't afford to drive the Escalade, so gets a moped instead
2011: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close - Dude shoulda taken the day off
2013: Captain Phillips -  Dude ain't the captain no more.
2015:  Ithaca - Dude's son rides a bicycle because HE'S DEAD
2016: Sully - Dude don't need no stinkin' runway
2020:  Greyhound - Despite being shot at, Dude manages not to sink *this* boat.

And let us not forget, his first credited screen appearance was on Love Boat.  Make of that what you will.

You are all safer if he takes public transportation.

I mean come on they aren't all bad.

Look at Private Ryan -- at least the boat delivered him safely to the beach.
Or The Money Pit -- the house didn't have to travel anywhere.
And Turner and Hooch -- yes the dog died but at least it wasn't in his car.
League of Their Own -- the bus never broke down crying. Although the team did.

Splash? Why boat when you got a mermaid. Bachelor Party? Look at those tits, they're huge. Big? Simple: Don't go to Coney Island. Philadelphia? AIDS doesn't use transportation. Forrest Gump? He just ran everywhere. Anything with Meg Ryan in it? Well ...


media3.giphy.comView Full Size
 
2021-11-03 10:46:05 PM  

ZMugg: Boojum2k: That was Troi at the helm.

Mugato: Yeah, that was Counselor Troi who has control of the Enterprise for all of two minutes and immediately crashed it.


In Star Trek: Generations, she took the helm when another crew member got zapped. She didn't do a lot of maneuvering as the Enterprise-D destroyed Lursa and B'Etor's old class D-12 Bird of Prey. When they performed the saucer separation maneuver, she was attempting to maneuver the Saucer Section to a safe distance, but this was interrupted when the Stardrive Section exploded due to its warp core breach, and the resulting shockwave slammed into the Saucer Section.
After that happened, the very next thing that happened was that Riker called, "Report!" and Troi responded, "Helm controls are offline!" From that point on, she had zero control of the Saucer Section as it proved to be on a collision course with the surface of Veridian III.


Yeah, well it's not like she was the most incompetent member of the crew anyway.

Picard let his ship get destroyed, went into the Nexus where he could have left to go to any time, any place and instead of just going to when he first met Soren, thought it was a better idea to go five minutes before everything hit the fan and drag Kirk with him.

Everything Picard did in all the TNG movies made him the worst Enterprise captain ever. Worse than Ferris Buellers friend.
 
2021-11-03 10:58:40 PM  

Ishkur: Big? Simple: Don't go to Coney Island.


You kidding? He got to bang Elizabeth Perkins. That's gonna be on Josh Baskin's tombstone.

i.guim.co.ukView Full Size
 
2021-11-03 11:01:25 PM  

Rent Party: Mugato: Inaditch: I must be thinking of one of the Next Gen movies where the Enterprise crashes through a bunch of trees. It's been a while.

Yeah, that was Counselor Troi who has control of the Enterprise for all of two minutes and immediately crashed it.

There is a completely inappropriate joke in there about letting women drive...


"In there"? I thought it was the joke?
 
2021-11-03 11:13:00 PM  

Mugato: Wow, this thread has showed me that Tom Hanks seems like a good guy and I haven't seen everything he was in but aside from Apollo 13, Saving Private Ryan and Bosom Buddies, I can't stand anything he's been in. And Forrest Gump was unforgivable.


Volunteers was all right.  Also had Rita Wilson, John Candy, and Gedde Watanabe (the "All-Around Asian") (as a Thai this time)
 
2021-11-03 11:13:56 PM  

Trocadero: Ishkur: Big? Simple: Don't go to Coney Island.

You kidding? He got to bang Elizabeth Perkins. That's gonna be on Josh Baskin's tombstone.

[i.guim.co.uk image 850x563]


I only saw it once as a kid but what if the roles were reversed and it was an adult male having sex with a little girl in an adult body? That would be farking gross. It's a double standard but it is what it is.
 
2021-11-03 11:50:36 PM  

Mugato: Wow, this thread has showed me that Tom Hanks seems like a good guy and I haven't seen everything he was in but aside from Apollo 13, Saving Private Ryan and Bosom Buddies, I can't stand anything he's been in. And Forrest Gump was unforgivable.


Big is not bad. Kind of get you in the feels.
 
2021-11-04 12:20:43 AM  

Mugato: ZMugg: Boojum2k: That was Troi at the helm.

Mugato: Yeah, that was Counselor Troi who has control of the Enterprise for all of two minutes and immediately crashed it.


In Star Trek: Generations, she took the helm when another crew member got zapped. She didn't do a lot of maneuvering as the Enterprise-D destroyed Lursa and B'Etor's old class D-12 Bird of Prey. When they performed the saucer separation maneuver, she was attempting to maneuver the Saucer Section to a safe distance, but this was interrupted when the Stardrive Section exploded due to its warp core breach, and the resulting shockwave slammed into the Saucer Section.
After that happened, the very next thing that happened was that Riker called, "Report!" and Troi responded, "Helm controls are offline!" From that point on, she had zero control of the Saucer Section as it proved to be on a collision course with the surface of Veridian III.

Yeah, well it's not like she was the most incompetent member of the crew anyway.

Picard let his ship get destroyed, went into the Nexus where he could have left to go to any time, any place and instead of just going to when he first met Soren, thought it was a better idea to go five minutes before everything hit the fan and drag Kirk with him.

Everything Picard did in all the TNG movies made him the worst Enterprise captain ever. Worse than Ferris Buellers friend.


That's because ... Patrick Stewart is not a bright guy and has terrible ideas about storytelling. To get the actors to come back who are all so ridiculously wealthy they aren't going to do it for a paycheck (Worf for example collects, maintains and flies military jets as a hobby) they have to give the actors significant input into the story.

In the TOS movies it wasn't that bad (e.g. they made Sulu a captain of another ship to appease George, though they did have to let Lenny and Bill direct) but in TNG it was out of control. The freaking dune buggies were Patrick's idea and they didn't even cover up the logo of the dune buggy company on-screen. I don't specifically know that Marina asked to pilot the Enterprise but I know that she was happy she got to "drive the ship" even though it's just a bunch of people standing around on a soundstage reading off dialog.
 
2021-11-04 12:38:18 AM  

stevesporn2000: Mugato: ZMugg: Boojum2k: That was Troi at the helm.

Mugato: Yeah, that was Counselor Troi who has control of the Enterprise for all of two minutes and immediately crashed it.


In Star Trek: Generations, she took the helm when another crew member got zapped. She didn't do a lot of maneuvering as the Enterprise-D destroyed Lursa and B'Etor's old class D-12 Bird of Prey. When they performed the saucer separation maneuver, she was attempting to maneuver the Saucer Section to a safe distance, but this was interrupted when the Stardrive Section exploded due to its warp core breach, and the resulting shockwave slammed into the Saucer Section.
After that happened, the very next thing that happened was that Riker called, "Report!" and Troi responded, "Helm controls are offline!" From that point on, she had zero control of the Saucer Section as it proved to be on a collision course with the surface of Veridian III.

Yeah, well it's not like she was the most incompetent member of the crew anyway.

Picard let his ship get destroyed, went into the Nexus where he could have left to go to any time, any place and instead of just going to when he first met Soren, thought it was a better idea to go five minutes before everything hit the fan and drag Kirk with him.

Everything Picard did in all the TNG movies made him the worst Enterprise captain ever. Worse than Ferris Buellers friend.

That's because ... Patrick Stewart is not a bright guy and has terrible ideas about storytelling. To get the actors to come back who are all so ridiculously wealthy they aren't going to do it for a paycheck (Worf for example collects, maintains and flies military jets as a hobby) they have to give the actors significant input into the story.

In the TOS movies it wasn't that bad (e.g. they made Sulu a captain of another ship to appease George, though they did have to let Lenny and Bill direct) but in TNG it was out of control. The freaking dune buggies were Patrick's idea and they didn't even cover up the logo of the dune buggy company on-screen. I don't specifically know that Marina asked to pilot the Enterprise but I know that she was happy she got to "drive the ship" even though it's just a bunch of people standing around on a soundstage reading off dialog.


So having a British accent and quoting Shakespeare doesn't make you smart?

Yeah, Picard being an action hero in all the movies, culminating in his driving a dune buggy while gunning down primitive natives was a sort of mid life crisis thing.
 
2021-11-04 12:40:47 AM  

stevesporn2000: even though it's just a bunch of people standing around on a soundstage reading off dialog.


Wait...what???
 
2021-11-04 12:59:44 AM  

Mugato: stevesporn2000: Mugato: ZMugg: Boojum2k: That was Troi at the helm.

Mugato: Yeah, that was Counselor Troi who has control of the Enterprise for all of two minutes and immediately crashed it.


In Star Trek: Generations, she took the helm when another crew member got zapped. She didn't do a lot of maneuvering as the Enterprise-D destroyed Lursa and B'Etor's old class D-12 Bird of Prey. When they performed the saucer separation maneuver, she was attempting to maneuver the Saucer Section to a safe distance, but this was interrupted when the Stardrive Section exploded due to its warp core breach, and the resulting shockwave slammed into the Saucer Section.
After that happened, the very next thing that happened was that Riker called, "Report!" and Troi responded, "Helm controls are offline!" From that point on, she had zero control of the Saucer Section as it proved to be on a collision course with the surface of Veridian III.

Yeah, well it's not like she was the most incompetent member of the crew anyway.

Picard let his ship get destroyed, went into the Nexus where he could have left to go to any time, any place and instead of just going to when he first met Soren, thought it was a better idea to go five minutes before everything hit the fan and drag Kirk with him.

Everything Picard did in all the TNG movies made him the worst Enterprise captain ever. Worse than Ferris Buellers friend.

That's because ... Patrick Stewart is not a bright guy and has terrible ideas about storytelling. To get the actors to come back who are all so ridiculously wealthy they aren't going to do it for a paycheck (Worf for example collects, maintains and flies military jets as a hobby) they have to give the actors significant input into the story.

In the TOS movies it wasn't that bad (e.g. they made Sulu a captain of another ship to appease George, though they did have to let Lenny and Bill direct) but in TNG it was out of control. The freaking dune buggies were Patrick's idea and they di ...


I am totally on board with the "he's in the Nexus the entire time" hypothesis.

All movies, the TV show, and everything else in the Kurtzman Star Trek universe are just fever dreams of Picard. He never left the Nexus. If nothing else it explains why TV Picard is nothing like movie Picard.
 
2021-11-04 1:18:42 AM  
Is Earth orbit considered lawless?

Could you kill a billionaire on the spaceship he built with slave labor and get away on technicality? 🤔
 
2021-11-04 1:23:21 AM  

Rent Party: 1990: Joe vs The Volcano - Dude's boat sinks after getting struck by lightning.


He's just getting warmed up at that point. He follows that by having a whole island and its entire population sink beneath him.
 
2021-11-04 1:24:59 AM  

Ishkur: Mugato: stevesporn2000: Mugato: ZMugg: Boojum2k: That was Troi at the helm.

Mugato: Yeah, that was Counselor Troi who has control of the Enterprise for all of two minutes and immediately crashed it.


In Star Trek: Generations, she took the helm when another crew member got zapped. She didn't do a lot of maneuvering as the Enterprise-D destroyed Lursa and B'Etor's old class D-12 Bird of Prey. When they performed the saucer separation maneuver, she was attempting to maneuver the Saucer Section to a safe distance, but this was interrupted when the Stardrive Section exploded due to its warp core breach, and the resulting shockwave slammed into the Saucer Section.
After that happened, the very next thing that happened was that Riker called, "Report!" and Troi responded, "Helm controls are offline!" From that point on, she had zero control of the Saucer Section as it proved to be on a collision course with the surface of Veridian III.

Yeah, well it's not like she was the most incompetent member of the crew anyway.

Picard let his ship get destroyed, went into the Nexus where he could have left to go to any time, any place and instead of just going to when he first met Soren, thought it was a better idea to go five minutes before everything hit the fan and drag Kirk with him.

Everything Picard did in all the TNG movies made him the worst Enterprise captain ever. Worse than Ferris Buellers friend.

That's because ... Patrick Stewart is not a bright guy and has terrible ideas about storytelling. To get the actors to come back who are all so ridiculously wealthy they aren't going to do it for a paycheck (Worf for example collects, maintains and flies military jets as a hobby) they have to give the actors significant input into the story.

In the TOS movies it wasn't that bad (e.g. they made Sulu a captain of another ship to appease George, though they did have to let Lenny and Bill direct) but in TNG it was out of control. The freaking dune buggies were Patrick's idea and they di ...

I am totally on board with the "he's in the Nexus the entire time" hypothesis.

All movies, the TV show, and everything else in the Kurtzman Star Trek universe are just fever dreams of Picard. He never left the Nexus. If nothing else it explains why TV Picard is nothing like movie Picard.


So all of Picard's action hero bullshiat in the movies was just him in the Nexus? Ok, I'll buy that.
 
2021-11-04 1:25:38 AM  

MurphyMurphy: Is Earth orbit considered lawless?

Could you kill a billionaire on the spaceship he built with slave labor and get away on technicality? 🤔


Of memory serves, astronauts are under the legal authority of their home country.
 
Displayed 50 of 57 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.