Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(KSTU FOX 13)   Christ, what an asshole   (fox13now.com) divider line
    More: Followup, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, United States Census Bureau, Jesus, United States Census, New Zealand, Population, news content, remote island nation of Tonga  
•       •       •

9551 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Nov 2021 at 5:30 AM (28 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



86 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-11-03 3:22:35 AM  
Elohim the Space God couldn't stop this?


Banned Mormon Cartoon - EXTENDED VERSION
Youtube n3BqLZ8UoZk
 
2021-11-03 5:34:34 AM  
Cold calling for god.

"YOU GET A PLANET....AND YOU GET A PLANET!!!
 
2021-11-03 5:34:41 AM  
I suppose that is a *kind* of followup, subby.
 
2021-11-03 5:38:20 AM  
Not really a big fan of the whole Mormon recruiting thing but...

"The missionary was fully vaccinated and had tested negative in New Zealand before taking a flight to Tonga, CNN reported."
 
2021-11-03 5:40:19 AM  
Can you blame the Sentinalese at this point? Killing any possible missionary keeps disease away.
 
2021-11-03 5:40:21 AM  
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size


It actually sounds like he did everything right (except not being a missionary) and somehow Tonga is a Utah 2: Mormon Boogaloo colony of his fellow church members.  Hopefully they quarantined it in time.
 
2021-11-03 5:42:18 AM  

wildcardjack: Can you blame the Sentinalese at this point? Killing any possible missionary keeps disease away.


An arrow a day keeps most anyone away.
 
2021-11-03 5:46:21 AM  

Fart_Machine: Not really a big fan of the whole Mormon recruiting thing but...

"The missionary was fully vaccinated and had tested negative in New Zealand before taking a flight to Tonga, CNN reported."


That will be the talking point for anti-vaxxers now.    One of my former co-workers has all kinds of health problems from  a lifetime working in a steel mill.  The only thing he never had is COVID.   He got his first vaccine months ago, then went and had a toe amputated (diabetes), then triple-bypass heart surgery.   Still fine.   Then rehab facility, and instant COVID before he could even get the second shot.   It was brought in by one of the low-paid workers there, as it almost always is.

So his wife and son, both rabid anti-vaxxers, are using his illness to condemn vaccines.   of course.
 
2021-11-03 5:50:08 AM  
Not considering overlap Mormons outnumber native Tongans be three to one? That's kind of messed up.Considering the history of how native people have been treated globally not quite surprising but still messed up.
 
2021-11-03 6:22:10 AM  
Just doing his work, bringing people closer to God.
 
2021-11-03 6:33:25 AM  

Fart_Machine: Not really a big fan of the whole Mormon recruiting thing but...

"The missionary was fully vaccinated and had tested negative in New Zealand before taking a flight to Tonga, CNN reported."


Once again, being vaccinated protects you from COVID.  I doesn't mean you can't spread COVID.

And a negative test is as reliable as the type of test administered.
 
2021-11-03 6:42:09 AM  

The Crepes of Wrath: Fart_Machine: Not really a big fan of the whole Mormon recruiting thing but...

"The missionary was fully vaccinated and had tested negative in New Zealand before taking a flight to Tonga, CNN reported."

Once again, being vaccinated protects you from COVID.  I doesn't mean you can't spread COVID.

And a negative test is as reliable as the type of test administered.


And the person administering it. My first covid test I know the girl didn't go far enough up my nose so it probably wasn't accurate.
 
2021-11-03 6:44:17 AM  
Oh religious busybodies, is there nothing you can't f*ck up?
 
2021-11-03 6:46:42 AM  
Again
 
2021-11-03 6:51:22 AM  

Alwysadydrmr: And the person administering it. My first covid test I know the girl didn't go far enough up my nose so it probably wasn't accurate.


Exactly.
 
Pew
2021-11-03 6:56:57 AM  
I was going to post a link to something about the farked up history of mormons in the pacific, but all the google hits had a cheerrful conversion angle. they're good at marketing, the farkers.
 
2021-11-03 7:02:59 AM  

Alwysadydrmr: the girl didn't go far enough up my nose


Alright, Christian Grey.
 
2021-11-03 7:05:14 AM  
I misread it as LSD missionary and was expecting something different.
 
2021-11-03 7:07:51 AM  
Proselytising should be banned as a threat to public health and native cultures. That includes the native cultures of beery places like Belgium and Germany
 
2021-11-03 7:13:10 AM  
It might make my stamp approval collection more valuable.
 
2021-11-03 7:13:59 AM  

8tReAsUrEz: Proselytising should be banned as a threat to public health and native cultures. That includes the native cultures of beery places like Belgium and Germany


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-03 7:29:31 AM  
Spreading disease and the word of God since 1350ad.
 
2021-11-03 7:31:14 AM  

Ragin' Asian: Not considering overlap Mormons outnumber native Tongans be three to one? That's kind of messed up.Considering the history of how native people have been treated globally not quite surprising but still messed up.


Assuming of course those mormons aren't actually native. They are most likely Tongans themselves.  I know quite a few Pacific islanders from several countries very staunch Mormons. However one Tahitian girl i know told me they practice a less crazy version than the American version.

(All religion is crazy)
 
2021-11-03 7:31:29 AM  

chawco: I misread it as LSD missionary and was expecting something different.


external-content.duckduckgo.comView Full Size

Like whale molestation?
 
2021-11-03 7:32:32 AM  

stuhayes2010: Spreading disease and the word of God since 1350ad.


Mormons were invented in America
 
2021-11-03 7:32:56 AM  
What a moroni.
 
2021-11-03 7:51:47 AM  
Well, it was obviously something you guys did to have God, in his infinite love and wisdom, bring this plague (me) to you.
 
2021-11-03 7:52:18 AM  
So, uh free land soonish?
 
2021-11-03 7:58:47 AM  
Wouldn't be the first time Christians brought disease to indiginous peoples.
 
2021-11-03 7:59:39 AM  
This is why, as Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman contended, it's important to shoot missionaries on sight
 
2021-11-03 8:10:10 AM  
We're here to save you LOL
 
2021-11-03 8:14:48 AM  

DemonEater: This is why, as Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman contended, it's important to shoot missionaries on sight


Mightily Oats would be an exception, but in general.
 
2021-11-03 8:21:26 AM  

Fart_Machine: Not really a big fan of the whole Mormon recruiting thing but...

"The missionary was fully vaccinated and had tested negative in New Zealand before taking a flight to Tonga, CNN reported."


All of which are helpful but not 100% guarantees. Unnecessary travel especially international, and especially to a place that doesn't have it is ... unnecessary.
 
2021-11-03 8:22:34 AM  

chawco: I misread it as LSD missionary and was expecting something different.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-03 8:25:34 AM  

8tReAsUrEz: Proselytising should be banned as a threat to public health and native cultures. That includes the native cultures of beery places like Belgium and Germany


I knew a guy who wanted to do missionary work in the farking Ukraine, and I told him they've already got one, older and better than yours by the way. And it involved small plane flying, like a flying parson thing, so combine evangelical Christian and Cessna pilot to understand the kind of blinkered assholes these are.
 
2021-11-03 8:34:57 AM  
They can keep godhood. Honestly the more I think about what I would do if I were god the more I realize I wouldn't want the job. To much responsibility and mistakes can be very costly unless you were some sort of sociopath or psychopath. In that case you have:

upload.wikimedia.orgView Full Size


To get your rocks off without actually hurting anyone.
 
2021-11-03 8:46:31 AM  

wildcardjack: Can you blame the Sentinalese at this point? Killing any possible missionary keeps disease away.



I feel that the Sentinalese have to only effective HOA in the world.

Not normally a fan of HOAs but I have to support their efforts to keep out undesirables and maintain their quality of life.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-11-03 9:04:03 AM  
I think that proselytizing is just a defense mechanism to
prove that your dopey assed made up con man religion is anything
but.
Little Richard :::: Keep A-Knockin'.
Youtube FJ6SstTS4YY
 
2021-11-03 9:17:13 AM  

stuhayes2010: Spreading disease and the word of God since 1350ad.


You're really embarrassingly ignorant. You know that, right?
The Mormons started in the US in the 19th century
 
2021-11-03 9:22:50 AM  

Ragin' Asian: Not considering overlap Mormons outnumber native Tongans be three to one? That's kind of messed up.Considering the history of how native people have been treated globally not quite surprising but still messed up.


That can't be right. Wikipedia numbers say 97 percent ethnic Tongan and about 15 percent Mormon.
 
2021-11-03 9:50:01 AM  
Fark all missionaries.
 
2021-11-03 9:56:17 AM  

anuran: stuhayes2010: Spreading disease and the word of God since 1350ad.

You're really embarrassingly ignorant. You know that, right?
The Mormons started in the US in the 19th century


Mormons are Christians.  Mormons didn't invent Christian missionary work.

But hey, you keep on calling people morons.
 
2021-11-03 10:07:07 AM  

Stud Gerbil: Fart_Machine: Not really a big fan of the whole Mormon recruiting thing but...

"The missionary was fully vaccinated and had tested negative in New Zealand before taking a flight to Tonga, CNN reported."

That will be the talking point for anti-vaxxers now.    One of my former co-workers has all kinds of health problems from  a lifetime working in a steel mill.  The only thing he never had is COVID.   He got his first vaccine months ago, then went and had a toe amputated (diabetes), then triple-bypass heart surgery.   Still fine.   Then rehab facility, and instant COVID before he could even get the second shot.   It was brought in by one of the low-paid workers there, as it almost always is.

So his wife and son, both rabid anti-vaxxers, are using his illness to condemn vaccines.   of course.


c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2021-11-03 10:16:33 AM  
Guns, germs and steal...tropical business as usual.

(The Hawaiian island of Lanai was "settled" by LDS missionary Ephraim Green and provided the US with most of its pineapple until it became cheaper to produce in Thailand and elsewhere.)

[PDF] https://evols.library.manoa.hawaii.edu/bitstream/10524/471/JL12076.pdf
 
2021-11-03 10:21:35 AM  

stuhayes2010: anuran: stuhayes2010: Spreading disease and the word of God since 1350ad.

You're really embarrassingly ignorant. You know that, right?
The Mormons started in the US in the 19th century

Mormons are Christians.  Mormons didn't invent Christian missionary work.

But hey, you keep on calling people morons.


Mormons believe that Lucifer started out as the spirit bother of Jesus.

They also believe that the Heavenly Father is married to a separate divine being called the Heavenly Mother, and that "if they're faithful they can become gods".

Christians do not believe any of that.

Mormons are henotheists. Christians are monotheists.
 
2021-11-03 10:22:37 AM  

stuhayes2010: anuran: stuhayes2010: Spreading disease and the word of God since 1350ad.

You're really embarrassingly ignorant. You know that, right?
The Mormons started in the US in the 19th century

Mormons are Christians.  Mormons didn't invent Christian missionary work.

But hey, you keep on calling people morons.


I don't know that I'd call them Christians. It's another odd offshoot from the old war god of the tribes of Israel, to be sure, and what Christianity even means has fractured considerably over a few thousand years, starting with that weirdo Saul of Tarsus. The Nicene Creed was established in 325, and it's easily arguably heretical, so...

Fine, whatever. The Mormons can call themselves Christians if they like. Lots of people like to call themselves Christians, regardless of whether they've ever cracked a Bible open and believe it contains the glorious story of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer.
 
2021-11-03 10:24:55 AM  

lizaardvark: stuhayes2010: anuran: stuhayes2010: Spreading disease and the word of God since 1350ad.

You're really embarrassingly ignorant. You know that, right?
The Mormons started in the US in the 19th century

Mormons are Christians.  Mormons didn't invent Christian missionary work.

But hey, you keep on calling people morons.

I don't know that I'd call them Christians. It's another odd offshoot from the old war god of the tribes of Israel, to be sure, and what Christianity even means has fractured considerably over a few thousand years, starting with that weirdo Saul of Tarsus. The Nicene Creed was established in 325, and it's easily arguably heretical, so...

Fine, whatever. The Mormons can call themselves Christians if they like. Lots of people like to call themselves Christians, regardless of whether they've ever cracked a Bible open and believe it contains the glorious story of Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer.


Mormon
[ˈmôrmən]
NOUN
a member or follower of a millenarian Christian movement founded in the US in 1830 by Joseph Smith Jr, in particular a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
 
2021-11-03 10:30:03 AM  
there are more than 66,000 Latter-day Saints in Tonga, according to the church, and the country has a population of about 106,000.

What? How?  Are they counting all the dead they baptized and "converted"?
 
2021-11-03 10:34:07 AM  
lizaardvark is somewhat correct. One can call one's self a Christian without actually having Christian beliefs.

One can claim that one's church is the "church of Jesus Christ" while one's Jesus is not the Jesus of Christianity.
 
2021-11-03 10:36:36 AM  

chawco: I misread it as LSD missionary and was expecting something different.

I think he took a little too much LDS.

Star Trek IV: "A little too much LDS"
Youtube pgHxFNFWlZc
 
Displayed 50 of 86 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all


View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.