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(KBZK Bozeman)   In today's episode of "Typical American Overreaction", we take you to a haunted house operating in what used to be a funeral home. "This is totally Satanic and what you're doing, God will hold you accountable"   (kbzk.com) divider line
    More: Asinine, Real estate, English-language films, The Cutler, Haunted house, Owner-occupier, Funeral, Cutler Bros. Productions, 2000s music groups  
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2104 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Oct 2021 at 5:35 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-10-28 3:51:30 PM  
"The blood of all these people going through the door will be on your hands"

Nah, you have to pay extra for that.
 
2021-10-28 4:02:55 PM  
"This is totally Satanic and what you're doing, God will hold you accountable. The blood of all these people going through the door will be on your hands," the voice mail said.

The blood of all these people and the door are the only things that actually exists in that statement.
 
2021-10-28 4:14:15 PM  
"OK.  Well, tell God I'm right here.  Let the smiting commence.  No?  Nothing?  Guess your god doesn't give a shiat."
 
2021-10-28 4:45:27 PM  
Like someone in the article said, it's just a building.
 
2021-10-28 4:50:36 PM  
Surely there is an abandoned church in town they could move it to.
 
2021-10-28 5:25:59 PM  
A cannabis dispensary just opened by me that used to be a funeral home.

All I could smell was weed though
 
2021-10-28 5:36:28 PM  

sandbar67: A cannabis dispensary just opened by me that used to be a funeral home.

All I could smell was weed though


That's worse.
 
2021-10-28 5:36:45 PM  
I'm so done with superstitious idiots who still get their panties in a wad over their make-believe world.
 
2021-10-28 5:38:36 PM  
Plymouth Rock would have done us a favor by landing on the god-bothering Pilgrims
 
2021-10-28 5:40:11 PM  
Off topic but in my GISing "Jewell", I came across this:

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-28 5:41:37 PM  
The funeral home that  handled my late wife was located in a former restaurant that we used to go to.  That was kinda weird.  Buildings change uses, I got over it.
 
2021-10-28 5:41:38 PM  
God will hold them accountable, eh?

Well...indeed.

Let him.  He is the one that gets to judge people, and their actions.

Not you.

Your job?  To obey.  Not interpret for others, not decide for others, not to judge others.  But to obey the lord your god, the best you can.

To follow his words the best you can.

To 'tend to your own garden'.

The world would be a better place if you could do that.

/The last Christian died on the cross.
 
2021-10-28 5:42:02 PM  
"God will hold you accountable. The blood of all these people going through the door will be on your hands," the voice mail said.

Said a person who prays to a naked man being tortured on a cross.
 
2021-10-28 5:42:35 PM  
If God does react, each and every of their Halloween events will be sold out for years in advance.

Imagine the internet points for having that in your obituary: was happily partying like a drunken fool until smited by God.
 
2021-10-28 5:42:36 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-28 5:42:50 PM  
I mean - it does seem a little disrespectful to the sanctity and solemnity of a funeral home.

But in the grand scheme, there are so many more important things that we could actively be working on changing as a society that a haunted house opening up in a former funeral home is pretty insignificant....
 
2021-10-28 5:43:21 PM  
Sweet, we're bringing back Satanic Panic I guess. Can Tipper come out again?
 
2021-10-28 5:43:24 PM  
"This is totally Satanic and what you're doing, God will hold you accountable."

cdn.cnn.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-28 5:44:17 PM  
"This is totally Satanic and what you're doing, God will hold you accountable. The blood of all these people going through the door will be on your hands," the voice mail said.

Mr. Voicemail dude, I ask: where has your god been during the last 2000 years of slavery, butchery, genocide, attempted genocide, mass graves, and other atrocities?

If the place hasn't been hit by lightning, you really gotta chalk this up to "The Will of God".
 
2021-10-28 5:45:51 PM  
I used to go to a club that was in my city's old morgue. Good old days at club Malibu.
 
2021-10-28 5:47:33 PM  

buzzcut73: Sweet, we're bringing back Satanic Panic I guess. Can Tipper come out again?


I heard they're going to play Iron Maiden's songs backwards for ambiance.
 
2021-10-28 5:48:42 PM  
Hell Houses still OK though, right?
 
2021-10-28 5:48:48 PM  
More vapid Christianity, all virtue signaling and performative. Why do good deeds?
 
2021-10-28 5:50:06 PM  
God strikes frieza
Youtube Zopk5af9_yg
 
2021-10-28 5:53:31 PM  

SecondaryControl: God will hold them accountable, eh?

Well...indeed.

Let him.  He is the one that gets to judge people, and their actions.

Not you.

Your job?  To obey.  Not interpret for others, not decide for others, not to judge others.  But to obey the lord your god, the best you can.

To follow his words the best you can.

To 'tend to your own garden'.

The world would be a better place if you could do that.

/The last Christian died on the cross.


So Saint peter?
 
2021-10-28 5:58:32 PM  
"God will hold you accountable"

Which one?
 
2021-10-28 5:59:43 PM  
Gods don't exist.
But if any do, nobody has the ability to speak for them or know what they want.
If they existed and cared what people do, they would surely make their existence and preferences very clear and unambiguous.
 
2021-10-28 6:01:27 PM  

pacified: More vapid Christianity, all virtue signaling and performative. Why do good deeds?


But I thought you Trump Republicans were all about vapid Christianity! (You gave it away with the Fox News catchphrase, "virtue signaling").
 
2021-10-28 6:02:06 PM  

Pershing123: The funeral home that  handled my late wife was located in a former restaurant that we used to go to.  That was kinda weird.  Buildings change uses, I got over it.


That wasn't a funeral home, it was a butcher shop specializing in long pig.
 
2021-10-28 6:03:29 PM  
There's a couple bars in my town that used to be funeral homes. Never heard any complaints.
 
2021-10-28 6:04:48 PM  

ChimpMitten: Hell Houses still OK though, right?


I can dig it!

thepinksmoke.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-28 6:04:56 PM  

rustypouch: There's a couple bars in my town that used to be funeral homes. Never heard any complaints.


They ever crack open a cold one?
 
2021-10-28 6:05:02 PM  
"This is totally Satanic and what you're doing, God will hold you accountable."

Haunted house worker: Haw haw haw! God's magic pales in comparison to lord Satan's!

[as he cups a glow stick tightly in both hands and winds up to cast "spell"]
 
2021-10-28 6:10:09 PM  
There is a funeral home near me that has a full arcade and mini-golf course in the lower level - quite fun!
 
2021-10-28 6:10:57 PM  
Well....
It is Deer Lodge.
 
2021-10-28 6:12:55 PM  
Satan: the logical and compassionate choice.
 
2021-10-28 6:13:34 PM  

Lambskincoat: "This is totally Satanic and what you're doing, God will hold you accountable. The blood of all these people going through the door will be on your hands," the voice mail said.

The blood of all these people and the door are the only things that actually exists in that statement.


/thalidomide likes this
 
2021-10-28 6:14:05 PM  

Stanley Rubrick: There is a funeral home near me that has a full arcade and mini-golf course in the lower level - quite fun!


https://ahlgrimffs.com/golf-course/
 
2021-10-28 6:14:13 PM  

SecondaryControl: God will hold them accountable, eh?

Well...indeed.

Let him.  He is the one that gets to judge people, and their actions.

Not you.

Your job?  To obey.  Not interpret for others, not decide for others, not to judge others.  But to obey the lord your god, the best you can.

To follow his words the best you can.

To 'tend to your own garden'.

The world would be a better place if you could do that.

/The last Christian died on the cross.


Jesus wasn't Christian
 
2021-10-28 6:16:04 PM  
I have worked in haunted house attractions since I was 13 years old. I have seen protests, I have seen people get attacked by zealots. (These were patrons, not staff... why would you attack the customers over what the staff is doing?) I have seen people being hauled screaming out of the place because they felt someone was an actual devil and trying to get him.  The insanity that can accompany such a simple thing showed me a long time ago that human beings are, by and large, complete wackos who can latch onto anything so that they can continue to be insane.
 
2021-10-28 6:17:35 PM  
Imagine thinking those things and not being embarrassed about letting everyone around you know.  Now imagine a world in which it's so generally accepted that you don't even realize it's silly and seriously expect everyone else to behave according to your code of behavior based on an imaginary supernatural father figure for whom there's zero evidence.
 
2021-10-28 6:18:21 PM  

SecondaryControl: God will hold them accountable, eh?

Well...indeed.

Let him.  He is the one that gets to judge people, and their actions.

Not you.

Your job?  To obey.  Not interpret for others, not decide for others, not to judge others.  But to obey the lord your god, the best you can.

To follow his words the best you can.

To 'tend to your own garden'.

The world would be a better place if you could do that.

/The last Christian died on the cross.


Unfortunately, however, he was not the last Jew to die on the cross. History shows that Rome crucified approximately 10,000 Jews on the cross as crucifiction was legally deemed an 'appropriate form of execution for murderers, theives and Jews'. 'Christians' like to overlook that part of history.
 
2021-10-28 6:19:36 PM  

maxandgrinch: If God does react, each and every of their Halloween events will be sold out for years in advance.

Imagine the internet points for having that in your obituary: was happily partying like a drunken fool until smited by God.


Baccus would object!
 
2021-10-28 6:23:07 PM  

Somaticasual: I mean - it does seem a little disrespectful to the sanctity and solemnity of a funeral home.

But in the grand scheme, there are so many more important things that we could actively be working on changing as a society that a haunted house opening up in a former funeral home is pretty insignificant....


No. Not it doesn't. Funeral homes aren't for the dead. They're for the living to pretend that their loved one is more than just worm food.

I think this is the perfect setting. I would laugh hysterically if they dressed up as the zombies of the recently deceased.

Yes, I'm a very hateful, spiteful person.
 
2021-10-28 6:24:57 PM  

little big man: "The blood of all these people going through the door will be on your hands"


Oh God, really? Thanks for letting me know. I really don't want blood on my hands, so I'll put some gloves on and bring the Clorox.

Good looking out.
 
2021-10-28 6:28:52 PM  
These are probably the same people who believe in angels.
 
2021-10-28 6:31:02 PM  

grokca: Surely there is an abandoned church in town they could move it to.


There was a church near me that got put up on auction. (Don't know why). I *really* wanted to buy it and turn it into a bar. I would have named it Hell in a Handbasket. And there would have been jello wrestling in the baptismal font. And the collection plate would be passed around, only instead of putting money in, it would be full of snack mix. The Bible holders in the pews would be replaced with drink holders, there'd be jello wrestling in the baptismal font, the pulpit would be for karaoke, and I'd have jello wrestling in the baptismal font.

/alas, it sold beyond my price range to some other church who just wasted the building with churchy stuff.
 
2021-10-28 6:36:16 PM  
Geeze, lighten up. It's not like they used the wrong pronouns or think climate change isn't as serious as everybody is saying.
 
2021-10-28 6:37:03 PM  

MythDragon: grokca: Surely there is an abandoned church in town they could move it to.

There was a church near me that got put up on auction. (Don't know why). I *really* wanted to buy it and turn it into a bar. I would have named it Hell in a Handbasket. And there would have been jello wrestling in the baptismal font. And the collection plate would be passed around, only instead of putting money in, it would be full of snack mix. The Bible holders in the pews would be replaced with drink holders, there'd be jello wrestling in the baptismal font, the pulpit would be for karaoke, and I'd have jello wrestling in the baptismal font.

/alas, it sold beyond my price range to some other church who just wasted the building with churchy stuff.


So you really like Jello wrestling?
 
2021-10-28 6:37:12 PM  
Well THAT is the best advertising a haunted house could ever ask for.

Also, geez.  Decades ago, in the conservative midwest, the church my folks dragged me to had its own haunted house and halloween celebrations.  I won a raffle.  The prize was a "Fisto" He-Man action figure, which in hindsight is mildly amusing.  Somehow, these twits have managed to be more uptight than early-80s midwestern methodists, which is both remarkable and sad.
 
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