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(Slate)   "My husband is way hotter than me and we get looks from people that seem to imply they can't believe he's with me. I know he knows this and I'm worried he might leave me when he realizes the attractiveness disparity. Or am I overreacting?"   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Sad, Sexual intercourse, Human sexual behavior, Human sexuality, Oral sex, Foreplay, HIV, Slate's sex advice column, wife think of your extracurricular fun  
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430 clicks; posted to Discussion » on 28 Oct 2021 at 9:20 AM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



46 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-10-28 6:49:04 AM  
Stephen Lynch Prettier Than You
Youtube Q1lB7DPe8eA
 
2021-10-28 6:56:38 AM  
Butt stuff
 
2021-10-28 6:56:43 AM  
Don't be unattractive.
 
2021-10-28 7:26:38 AM  
I never go with very attractive men.  I would never trust them.  Sorry, all the super-handsome men who are lined up outside my door.
 
2021-10-28 7:47:34 AM  
Maybe he, like me, prefers brainy women.
 
2021-10-28 9:13:32 AM  
JIMMY SOUL-"IF YOU WANNA BE HAPPY"(LYRICS)
Youtube 6EqFVWzOfN8
 
2021-10-28 9:17:10 AM  

dionysusaur: Maybe he, like me, prefers brainy women.


This is why I adore you.  :)
 
2021-10-28 9:27:19 AM  
You wouldn't worry about that if you stopped letting him out of your sex dungeon.
 
2021-10-28 9:30:06 AM  
My wife keeps telling me that I'm too attractive for her. I don't think I'm good looking, and I think she's prettier than she gives herself credit for, but you should maybe consider that he doesn't see it the same way that you do. Nevertheless, even if it is true:

My philosophy with relationships is that if you want it to last, you have to come to grips with the fact that at some point, you're both going to be fat and ugly. So you damn well better have something more durable than looks to sustain the relationship, or you might as well move on now.
 
2021-10-28 9:30:22 AM  
My husband was way out of my class, looks-wise.  Even my mom would say that she didn't know how I ended up with such a handsome man. When he'd get all spiffed up, he was movie-star good looking.

I'd see people do a double take when we'd go somewhere especially if we were all dressed up. But he was my best friend and loved me for me.  That holds up better than physical attraction when you both get old and the looks start to go.
 
2021-10-28 9:30:54 AM  
You could try being rich, that works for guys anyway.
 
2021-10-28 9:31:05 AM  
So, you pinched above your weight class. Outkicked your coverage. Gotta be a reason why. Embrace it. Love/marriage is more than looks.
 
2021-10-28 9:33:13 AM  
Just wear a rubber mask in public, like Ye. Then everyone will think you're a big celebrity.
 
2021-10-28 9:35:53 AM  
Oh honey, he's not going to leave you.  He can pull down attractive tail as one night stands while he keeps you around for when he doesn't feel like going out.  You're in this for the long haul.
 
2021-10-28 9:39:02 AM  

Cafe Threads: dionysusaur: Maybe he, like me, prefers brainy women.

This is why I adore you.  :)


Aww, Honey - consider my day made.
 
2021-10-28 9:45:42 AM  
It takes work for me to look good, but when my gal gets that "you biatch" look for being with me, that's the cherry on the shake.
Wouldn't trade her for anyone.
 
2021-10-28 9:49:20 AM  
Obviously written by husband.
 
2021-10-28 9:57:10 AM  
I always said I wouldn't marry a man prettier than me. Too many hassles. Her worries are justified.

My doctor is handsome, genuine, and a guileless family man. His office manager has fired several assistants for making a run for him, despite hime being married. She even tells them when they are hired that no flirting is condoned. They still try because they want to be Mrs. Doctor and quit working. Good luck, his wife has her own successful dental practice and outclasses all of them.
 
2021-10-28 9:59:47 AM  

Breaker Breaker: I always said I wouldn't marry a man prettier than me. Too many hassles. Her worries are justified.

My doctor is handsome, genuine, and a guileless family man. His office manager has fired several assistants for making a run for him, despite hime being married. She even tells them when they are hired that no flirting is condoned. They still try because they want to be Mrs. Doctor and quit working. Good luck, his wife has her own successful dental practice and outclasses all of them.


Dude sounds gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.
 
2021-10-28 10:02:50 AM  

The Madd Mann: My wife keeps telling me that I'm too attractive for her. I don't think I'm good looking, and I think she's prettier than she gives herself credit for, but you should maybe consider that he doesn't see it the same way that you do. Nevertheless, even if it is true:

My philosophy with relationships is that if you want it to last, you have to come to grips with the fact that at some point, you're both going to be fat and ugly. So you damn well better have something more durable than looks to sustain the relationship, or you might as well move on now.


My wife is the same way. Oddly enough, I considered her too attractive for me when we started dating. Having a kid and knee injuries have changed her looks so that she now feels I am the more attractive one of us. I don't see it that way, and I believe she is just as attractive today as she was the first time I met her.
 
2021-10-28 10:17:44 AM  
I know what it is like. That's why I never keep myself in such good shape anymore. It's just too hard to go outside or walk down the street without feeling all those eyes looking you up and down l Iike a piece if meat.
 
2021-10-28 10:27:28 AM  
He probably knows she won't cheat on him.
 
2021-10-28 10:29:14 AM  
Either you trust him or you don't.  If you don't, cut him loose now because you're going to drive yourself mad playing 'what if' games (& make him miserable for constantly being blamed for things he's not doing ... until he figures 'what the hell, if I'm going to get blamed anyway...')

And being Fark, you better up your butt stuff & beej game.  Keep him so worn out at home that he's too wiped out to even thing about getting some strange.
 
2021-10-28 10:40:35 AM  
Everyone is dancing around the pertinent question.  How does his dad look?  If he's a 5 or below, I think you know what needs to be done.
 
2021-10-28 10:43:17 AM  

dionysusaur: Maybe he, like me, prefers brainy women.


As someone who prefers brainy women: problem, wrote to Slate for advice.
 
2021-10-28 11:27:06 AM  

wademh: dionysusaur: Maybe he, like me, prefers brainy women.

As someone who prefers brainy women: problem, wrote to Slate for advice.


True.  But she may just be insecure.
 
2021-10-28 11:41:48 AM  
We have no such problem...


/damn
 
2021-10-28 12:09:08 PM  
Woman finds man who sees her for more than her looks and she's unhappy.
 
2021-10-28 12:11:05 PM  

Breaker Breaker: My doctor is handsome, genuine, and a guileless family man. His office manager has fired several assistants for making a run for him, despite hime being married. She even tells them when they are hired that no flirting is condoned. They still try because they want to be Mrs. Doctor and quit working. Good luck, his wife has her own successful dental practice and outclasses all of them will Marathon Man whoever farks with her.

 
2021-10-28 12:47:39 PM  
People do tend to partner up within an average range, with exceptions for money and power by either party. So a "5" would probably end up with someone "4-6" and a "9" would probably end up with someone "7-10" (there is fewer people at the very top) as a partner. Of course stuff happens too, so it is possible for someone to start off married to an "8" and end up married to a "4" due to other factors, possibly external like an accident or medical complications. That whole "in sickness and health" thing.

Still , you typically don't see extremely attractive people, men or women, dating someone considerably less attractive. Part of that is also that people tend to self-segregate into groups of attractiveness as well, partially due to the fact that many people that would be considered attractive are very active. So they tend to associate with other active people, that often would also be considered attractive.

This is kind of a circular thing, so yes if there is a large disparity in attractiveness it is unusual.
 
2021-10-28 12:50:06 PM  
Live Report - SNL
Youtube zBcG5tOURuM
 
2021-10-28 1:03:35 PM  

dionysusaur: wademh: dionysusaur: Maybe he, like me, prefers brainy women.

As someone who prefers brainy women: problem, wrote to Slate for advice.

True.  But she may just be insecure.


Next up:  boiling pet rabbit on the stove!
 
2021-10-28 1:24:48 PM  

dionysusaur: Cafe Threads: dionysusaur: Maybe he, like me, prefers brainy women.

This is why I adore you.  :)

Aww, Honey - consider my day made.


Geez, get a room you two.
 
2021-10-28 1:26:51 PM  
how many wage earners in that house do you want on the mommy track?  it's not a real thing in my experience but women have been claiming it exists for years.  what makes her think it is any less true for him than it is for her?
 
2021-10-28 1:27:40 PM  

optikeye: Breaker Breaker: I always said I wouldn't marry a man prettier than me. Too many hassles. Her worries are justified.

My doctor is handsome, genuine, and a guileless family man. His office manager has fired several assistants for making a run for him, despite hime being married. She even tells them when they are hired that no flirting is condoned. They still try because they want to be Mrs. Doctor and quit working. Good luck, his wife has her own successful dental practice and outclasses all of them.

Dude sounds gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide.


Wait, let me get a pencil...
"Won't cheat on wife and respects marriage and family = gay."
Got it.

/eyeroll.gif
 
2021-10-28 2:23:29 PM  
is she a successful inventor
Cerie and Kenneth Go Undercover | 30 Rock
Youtube 8H_b0htn5DE
 
2021-10-28 2:56:27 PM  
It took me until I was about 30 to realize that enthusiasm counts far more than looks.

And that's early for most men.  Maybe he's just precocious.

/doesn't matter how hot she is if she just lays there
 
2021-10-28 3:19:10 PM  

bughunter: It took me until I was about 30 to realize that enthusiasm counts far more than looks.

And that's early for most men.  Maybe he's just precocious.

/doesn't matter how hot she is if she just lays there


It doesn't matter HOW GOOD she looks, someone, somewhere is sick of her sh"*t.
 
2021-10-28 5:10:53 PM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-28 5:51:52 PM  

dionysusaur: Maybe he, like me, prefers brainy women.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-28 6:10:10 PM  
If you want to be happy for the rest of your life
Never make a pretty woman your wife
So for my personal point of view
Get an ugly girl to marry you

JIMMY SOUL-"IF YOU WANNA BE HAPPY"(LYRICS)
Youtube 6EqFVWzOfN8


/Not my strategy, but you do you
 
2021-10-28 7:04:34 PM  

Clash City Farker: I know what it is like. That's why I never keep myself in such good shape anymore. It's just too hard to go outside or walk down the street without feeling all those eyes looking you up and down l Iike a piece if meat.


Yeah , I know what you mean . I just hate telling them " my eyes are up here "  .
 
2021-10-29 12:06:29 AM  
So he got to dictate how your sex life goes. He's happy with the rope play and butt stuff.

You're fine. Don't worry.
 
2021-10-29 6:52:39 AM  

edmo: Woman finds man who sees her for more than her looks and she's unhappy.


yeah my advice would be to appreciate that he married her for love and not looks.
 
2021-10-29 2:38:07 PM  

bughunter: It took me until I was about 30 to realize that enthusiasm counts far more than looks.

And that's early for most men.  Maybe he's just precocious.

/doesn't matter how hot she is if she just lays there


So you're saying you'll never buy a Real Doll?
 
2021-10-29 5:35:06 PM  

Cubs300: So, you pinched above your weight class. Outkicked your coverage. Gotta be a reason why. Embrace it. Love/marriage is more than looks.


I know what you mean. I'm not much to look at, but when Mrs. Nuran found out about the suction cup digits and three foot sticky tongue she chained me to the bed and only lets me out with a tracking collar.

We don't talk about my little trips to the Aquarium. She says she's not going to bail me out again after what happened in the Frog Exhibit.
 
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