Skip to content
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(C|Net)   As my son took his own life over 10 years ago, Subby posts article providing 13 suicide and crises intervention hotlines to call or text, should anyone need their services   (cnet.com) divider line
    More: PSA, Domestic violence, Child abuse, crisis situation, domestic issue, family members, immediate help, crisis hotline, National Domestic Violence Hotline  
•       •       •

143 clicks; posted to Discussion » and Main » on 27 Oct 2021 at 3:05 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



22 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-10-27 1:57:43 PM  
Sorry, Subz.  I hope you're able to get through a month without tears by now.
 
2021-10-27 2:49:38 PM  
I prefer the German word for sorry, "that does me pain".  Hoping that sharing your pain lessens your burden, subby.
 
2021-10-27 3:37:22 PM  
That is the saddest thing.  As someone who has had some major depressive episodes, I know how easy it is to talk yourself into leaving so that you won't be a burden to your family any more.  The only thing that kept me alive was having a pet.  I couldn't leave because I knew no one would take care of my pet like I did.

I am sorry for your pain and guilt, but know that it was not your fault.
 
2021-10-27 3:39:43 PM  
Subby, someone owes you a f*cking HERO tag for this.

A couple months ago, I tried to kill myself.  I was depressed, felt like a complete f*ck up, angry all the time, and couldn't think of any other way to protect my family from the monster I felt like I was becoming.

So of course it's ironic that now I'm really glad I f*cked up that particular thing.  My wife brought me to the hospital, they got me stabilized, and I've been steadily (though admittedly slower that I'd like) getting better since then.  I know I have a long way to go, and I have recently started to realize that, despite the meds and the therapy, it's still there inside me, waiting for the opportunity to come out.  My family has been amazingly supportive despite how horribly I've treated them the past couple years.  I can only imagine the additional pain I'd have put them through if I'd actually succeeded.
 
2021-10-27 3:42:03 PM  
"Hello, you're the fourth crisis intervention hotline that I've called. I'm shopping for a good one. What are your capabilities for helping someone with a Fark problem?"
 
2021-10-27 3:44:53 PM  
I do want to add that I had the whole front of my face taken off to get at a tumor at the base of my brain.

I accidentally drove a dandelion picker into my foot.

I had a tooth that went bad and infected my whole jaw.

All that pain combined did not compare to the amount of pain I felt when I was depressed.  Unless you have had severe depression, you cannot imagine how horrible it is.  Please forgive people who took their own life, the pain just overwhelmed them.

If you are depressed, please please don't give up.  I had to reach out to 7 different shrinks until I found one that helped.  I am so glad I stuck around.  Yes, life has been hard, times have been tough, but so many wonderful things have happened.  Please, just stick around to find out.
 
2021-10-27 3:54:09 PM  
Coldcut - 'Mr Nichols' | Future Shorts
Youtube IUmiY_NRmdw
 
2021-10-27 4:11:11 PM  
my goodness, i couldn't imagine.  kudos to you Subby for managing AND assisting others, your strength gives others strength.


crzybtch: a tumor at the base of my brain


tumor buddies!

/craniopharyngioma
 
2021-10-27 4:11:32 PM  
As someone who has battled depression much of my life, I know there are days when everything seem overwhelming. Days when you doubt your own worth and question if things will ever improve. Days when you feel alone in the world and you feel no one will understand what your going through. Days when it's even a struggle to get out of bed. Days when you lack the energy to do anything. It's a destructive spiral which I still fight. I'm an old man who still breaks down in tears when things get over whelming. It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Whatever you do, don't ever give up. Reach out to others that know what your going through.Your life is worth it.

Now I need to make a happy drawing. It's my therapy to tame such thoughts. Art is a wonderful outlet to understand your feeling or refocus your mind.
 
2021-10-27 4:41:58 PM  
Thank you for posting this subby.
 
2021-10-27 5:15:17 PM  
Subby, I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine the pain that you and your family have felt. Just remember that you are not alone. It's ok to cry, get angry, lash out at the world. And hopefully along the way you've been able to remember the good times and joy your son brought into your life.
 
2021-10-27 5:32:30 PM  

wage0048: Subby, someone owes you a f*cking HERO tag for this.

A couple months ago, I tried to kill myself.  I was depressed, felt like a complete f*ck up, angry all the time, and couldn't think of any other way to protect my family from the monster I felt like I was becoming.

So of course it's ironic that now I'm really glad I f*cked up that particular thing.  My wife brought me to the hospital, they got me stabilized, and I've been steadily (though admittedly slower that I'd like) getting better since then.  I know I have a long way to go, and I have recently started to realize that, despite the meds and the therapy, it's still there inside me, waiting for the opportunity to come out.  My family has been amazingly supportive despite how horribly I've treated them the past couple years.  I can only imagine the additional pain I'd have put them through if I'd actually succeeded.


OOOOOOOOHHHH.  Someone has a wife who's suppooooooortive who didn't just demand he take medicine and divorce him anyway.  Show-off.
 
2021-10-27 5:47:46 PM  
Thank you subby.
 
2021-10-27 6:24:44 PM  
For you, Subby.
                                                 Star Dancing

Dance anong the stars, my son. Light them with your smile.
Playmates in the Galaxies mix confidence with style.
Remember me with happiness, I think of you with joy.
I miss all that you mean to me, my once-and-future boy!
Recalling all the happy times grows easier each day.
The darkness that your leaving brought has slowly slipped away.
For some day, when transition calls, I'll close my eyes a while
And know that when they open , you'll embrace me with your smile.
So dance among the stars, my son. Frolic happily.
Look forward to the time that you can teach the steps to me.


I wrote this 2 years after my 11 month old son died during heart surgery to try and start healing. I went through many horrible suicidal guilt-ridden times. I was 17 when he died.
I've shared this poem over the decades with other lost parents who told me that it brought them some comfort. I hope it eases your loss just a tiny bit.
You are a hero to use your pain to reach out to help others.
Any Farker who wants to copy and share this poem with someone grieving is welcome to share it.
Peace.
Sky
 
2021-10-27 7:03:53 PM  

skybird659: For you, Subby.
                                           Star Dancing

Dance anong the stars, my son. Light them with your smile.
Playmates in the Galaxies mix confidence with style.
Remember me with happiness, I think of you with joy.
I miss all that you mean to me, my once-and-future boy!
Recalling all the happy times grows easier each day.
The darkness that your leaving brought has slowly slipped away.
For some day, when transition calls, I'll close my eyes a while
And know that when they open , you'll embrace me with your smile.
So dance among the stars, my son. Frolic happily.
Look forward to the time that you can teach the steps to me.


I wrote this 2 years after my 11 month old son died during heart surgery to try and start healing. I went through many horrible suicidal guilt-ridden times. I was 17 when he died.
I've shared this poem over the decades with other lost parents who told me that it brought them some comfort. I hope it eases your loss just a tiny bit.
You are a hero to use your pain to reach out to help others.
Any Farker who wants to copy and share this poem with someone grieving is welcome to share it.
Peace.
Sky


What an incredibly beautiful poem.  I am crying right now.  My heart goes out to everyone who has lost a child, and to everyone who has considered taking their own life (I am one of them).
 
2021-10-27 7:26:58 PM  
very sorry for your loss subby.

please remember that it was not your fault.

sometimes there is indescribable pain to which anything - ANYTHING - is superior. anything to stop the pain, the voice, the doubt, the confusion, the fear.  some will never understand it, despite being 8n that unfortunate radius.

there is nothing that will bring your child back and that itself is as difficult to live with.  your child was not a coward, not selfish, not impulsive, not angry with you.  there was just something that was too difficult to process for another minute.

it was not your fault.
 
2021-10-27 7:27:54 PM  

Soupface Sally: skybird659: For you, Subby.
                                     Star Dancing

Dance anong the stars, my son. Light them with your smile.
Playmates in the Galaxies mix confidence with style.
Remember me with happiness, I think of you with joy.
I miss all that you mean to me, my once-and-future boy!
Recalling all the happy times grows easier each day.
The darkness that your leaving brought has slowly slipped away.
For some day, when transition calls, I'll close my eyes a while
And know that when they open , you'll embrace me with your smile.
So dance among the stars, my son. Frolic happily.
Look forward to the time that you can teach the steps to me.


I wrote this 2 years after my 11 month old son died during heart surgery to try and start healing. I went through many horrible suicidal guilt-ridden times. I was 17 when he died.
I've shared this poem over the decades with other lost parents who told me that it brought them some comfort. I hope it eases your loss just a tiny bit.
You are a hero to use your pain to reach out to help others.
Any Farker who wants to copy and share this poem with someone grieving is welcome to share it.
Peace.
Sky

What an incredibly beautiful poem.  I am crying right now.  My heart goes out to everyone who has lost a child, and to everyone who has considered taking their own life (I am one of them).


Thank you! Please feel free to share, and remember when you are in the black pits that the wheel always turns and you come up for air again. Even if it's just until the next pit stop.
 
2021-10-28 9:14:54 AM  

Isitoveryet: my goodness, i couldn't imagine.  kudos to you Subby for managing AND assisting others, your strength gives others strength.


crzybtch: a tumor at the base of my brain

tumor buddies!

/craniopharyngioma


Well technically mine was not in the brain, it was under the brain.  Pituitary tumor.  People a generation before me often went blind from it.  Now 60 years late I am paying for having radiation treatments.  Not complaining though, so glad not to be blind.
 
2021-10-28 11:53:31 AM  

crzybtch: Isitoveryet: my goodness, i couldn't imagine.  kudos to you Subby for managing AND assisting others, your strength gives others strength.


crzybtch: a tumor at the base of my brain

tumor buddies!

/craniopharyngioma

Well technically mine was not in the brain, it was under the brain.  Pituitary tumor.  People a generation before me often went blind from it.  Now 60 years late I am paying for having radiation treatments.  Not complaining though, so glad not to be blind.


Yes, pituitary tumor. Loss of sight was how I discovered I had mine. Fortunately the optic nerve wasn't so damaged that it couldn't repair itself. I also benefited from an amazing neurosurgeon and ENT that was able to gain access through the nose.
My goodness what an experience. I don't think we will meet many others who have gone through this so I am always happy to share and listen.
now it's just hormone management mainly. The real hurdle is the water diabetes.
 
2021-10-28 4:11:27 PM  

Isitoveryet: crzybtch: Isitoveryet: my goodness, i couldn't imagine.  kudos to you Subby for managing AND assisting others, your strength gives others strength.


crzybtch: a tumor at the base of my brain

tumor buddies!

/craniopharyngioma

Well technically mine was not in the brain, it was under the brain.  Pituitary tumor.  People a generation before me often went blind from it.  Now 60 years late I am paying for having radiation treatments.  Not complaining though, so glad not to be blind.

Yes, pituitary tumor. Loss of sight was how I discovered I had mine. Fortunately the optic nerve wasn't so damaged that it couldn't repair itself. I also benefited from an amazing neurosurgeon and ENT that was able to gain access through the nose.
My goodness what an experience. I don't think we will meet many others who have gone through this so I am always happy to share and listen.
now it's just hormone management mainly. The real hurdle is the water diabetes.


Mine was a prolactinoma, so I found out because I started having milk in my breasts.  Not to mention that I never had a period and I was 18.  (Doc kept saying I was a late bloomer...idiot)

Mine was growing along the optic nerve but had not affected my sight yet.  Had awful headaches though.  When they started cutting mine, blood would flood the screen, so they left some of it and radiated what was left.  Now I am having diminished pituitary function, probably because of the radiation.  Not complaining though.  Could have been so much worse!
 
2021-10-28 4:15:23 PM  
They cut the top of my gums and inside my nose to basically lift the front of my face up for the surgery.  They told me I would have black eyes, massive swelling, etc.  I had none of it.  I was in serious pain for the first 24 hours, but really not nearly as bad as I expected.  I consider myself lucky as I met a man at work that had the same thing and they cut off the top of his skull, took his brain out, separated it, took out the tumor and put it all back together.  Nightmarish!
 
2021-10-28 4:16:32 PM  
And I would rather have that surgery three times over rather than have severe depression again.
 
Displayed 22 of 22 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking




On Twitter


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.