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(The Big Lead)   Joe Buck once ran out of shoes   (thebiglead.com) divider line
    More: Weird, Brett Favre, Green Bay Packers, Joe Buck, Packers game, two-minute warning, Touchdown, Coming out, large winter coat  
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444 clicks; posted to Sports » on 27 Oct 2021 at 2:57 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



20 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-10-27 2:36:02 PM  
He also pissed in someone's shoes too.
 
2021-10-27 2:59:38 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-27 3:18:15 PM  
FTFA: Buck was calling the game on FOX with Tim Green

Love me some Tim Green, at least his non-fiction works.

In one of his books he talked about how lots of refs seemed to listen to National Public Radio because in the middle of games he'd often get quietly said compliments about his NPR stuff.
 
2021-10-27 3:23:39 PM  
He was good on Jeopardy.  I'm serious.
 
2021-10-27 3:26:18 PM  
 
2021-10-27 3:30:41 PM  
I thought he was just supposed to pee into our collective mouth.
 
2021-10-27 3:36:03 PM  
Welcome to my life.
 
2021-10-27 3:39:17 PM  
Who was the victim in the Shoepisser incident?  we should summon him to have him tell the story (or someone may have the link bookmarked).
 
2021-10-27 3:40:26 PM  

rickythepenguin: Who was the victim in the Shoepisser incident?  we should summon him to have him tell the story (or someone may have the link bookmarked).


Hint:  One comment above yours.
 
2021-10-27 3:55:34 PM  

buckeyebrain: Hint: One comment above yours.


ha, nice reading comprehension, me.
 
2021-10-27 3:56:30 PM  
Life was so much simpler back then.
 
2021-10-27 4:00:50 PM  

rickythepenguin: Who was the victim in the Shoepisser incident?  we should summon him to have him tell the story (or someone may have the link bookmarked).


NakedReporta
 
2021-10-27 4:01:43 PM  

NakedReporta: Welcome to my life.


Hadn't seen you lost in a long time, welcome back!
 
2021-10-27 4:35:34 PM  
...to piss in.
headline is three words too short.
 
2021-10-27 4:53:32 PM  
This was Boobiesed 17 years ago today during the World Series Game 4 discussion thread.

Joe Buck Pissed In My Shoes
a short narrative by NakedReporta

Back when I was 11 and living in St. Louis, my parents decided I was too smart to be wasting my time in public schools and started seeking out private schools. The choice was eventually narrowed to two: John Burroughs and Country Day. I took the admittance test for each, but a kid I really hated from the public school I had attended was also trying to get into Burroughs, so I tanked that test.

Come fall, I was a seventh-grader at St. Louis Country Day School (known as CODASCO for short), whose famous alums include Vincent Price and John Danforth. And so began a year of sheer living hell. Most of the kids at CODASCO came from monied families, while I was this socially inept middle-class kid who wore the same Sears-bought suit every day. I was an immediate target.

One of my classmates was Joe Buck, the son of legendary Cardinals announcer Jack Buck. Joe was kind of a big, fat kid, but he had all the airs of social entitlement. Typical of the kind of stupid crap Buck would pull on me was to ask me if I "knew" my mother or to mock my attire. On more than one occasion, he was one of the ringleaders as five or six kids would decide to simultaneously throttle me.

But the final indignity came on a spring afternoon when we had gym class. We all changed into our standard-issue t-shirts and shorts and trotted out to the baseball field. All, that is, except Joe Buck, who bolted out of the locker room about a minute behind the rest. And when gym period was over, and we returned to the locker room, there were my Docksides-knockoff loafers, filled with the acrid stench of urine. Buck denied it, and the gym teacher didn't really give a shiat.

I had to wear my gym sneakers the rest of the day, then tearfully explain to my parents what had happened. They decided to press the issue, and it culminated in Joe and his mom and my mother and I all meeting with the headmaster. Joe denied it, I couldn't prove it, and the headmaster made us shake hands. I knew the remaining months were only going to be worse. The group beatings and mockery intensified. I barely passed my way through the seventh grade, and the next year I was back in public school. The torment continued -- hey, I was a real dork -- but at least it was free.

Look, kids can do cruel things. Joe was looking to be one of the guys, and I was an easy mark. He couldn't have any idea that my home life was simultaneously crumbling, and that what could have been a respite (time in school, away from home) was instead just compounding my nightmare. I suppose I should forgive the guy. But I can't.

I've managed to slog through a pretty respectable career as a writer. Joe, with his family ties and -- even I have to admit -- considerable talent, is the voice of FOX Sports. And every time I watch a marquee sporting event on FOX, I can't help but pause and reflect that, all those many years ago, that prick pissed in my shoes.
 
2021-10-27 5:46:22 PM  
The best thing about Joe Buck is that some day he'll retire.
 
2021-10-27 7:07:19 PM  

NakedReporta: And every time I watch a marquee sporting event on FOX, I can't help but pause and reflect that, all those many years ago, that prick pissed in my shoes.


I would love if somehow, he were questioned/confronted about this.  "Did you attend CODASCO, circa 1983ish?  Ever get called to the principal's office?"


Marcus Aurelius: The best thing about Joe Buck is that some day he'll retire.


he is the poster child for nepotism.  he's passable at best.  he's just so damn vanilla.  he calls the game, any game, any sport, as if it's a radio broadcast:  "the Yankees in their traditional home pinstripes", "Dallas in their iconic silver pants and white shirts", "Atlanta in the shift, that's the 3rd baseman playing short", "Manning in the shotgun, throws a pass to the far sideline, caught at the 20 but steps out of bounds...."

Yeah.  Jacknut.  I see this.  this magical thing called "television", allows me to see exactly what you're describing, Monotone-Boy.
 
2021-10-27 9:26:02 PM  

rickythepenguin: Who was the victim in the Shoepisser incident?  we should summon him to have him tell the story (or someone may have the link bookmarked).


If you were smart enough to Farkie NakedReporta with "shoes smell like piss," like I was, then you would know when he shows up in a thread.
 
2021-10-27 10:11:10 PM  

rickythepenguin: I would love if somehow, he were questioned/confronted about this.  "Did you attend CODASCO, circa 1983ish?  Ever get called to the principal's office?"


The story just never got a whole lot of traction outside of FARK. It'll pop up every once in a while on Reddit or in a sports forum somewhere, but it never really took on a life of its own, like the time I snarked about "The Ron Artest Interactive Fan Experience" or how Jose Lima's wife's boobs overshadowed his National Anthem performance. They kind of have to grow organically.

The Smails Kid: If you were smart enough to Farkie NakedReporta with "shoes smell like piss," like I was, then you would know when he shows up in a thread.


Actually, I was keeping an eye on this story going live, because I posted a Sporting News link to it yesterday that got nixed by the mods. (This headline was far better in its conciseness.) I figured once it did, the Batsignal would go up asking for the old chestnut, and being the 17th anniversary of its initial posting, I was happy to deliver.
 
2021-10-28 12:23:35 AM  
He has Piston shoes?
 
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