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(The Smoking Gun)   Go to your room Braiden   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line
    More: Facepalm, Tampa, Florida, Braiden Lankford, Pinellas County, Florida, Tampa Bay, Crime, Strike action, Tampa Bay Rays, Tampa Bay Area  
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858 clicks; posted to Food » on 27 Oct 2021 at 4:50 PM (4 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



19 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-10-27 2:19:15 PM  
Florida Man licks his lips--the Tampa Mating Call is heard from miles around. Pelting her mother with tacos, Braiden signals her desire to move in with a worthy Florida Man, after her bond is posted. Florida Man will douse himself with Drakkar and cigarette smoke, then offer to buy her another taco if she agrees to "get busy" in the back of the 2003 Chevy Malibu he borrowed for the event.

If successful, the proceedings will lead to a six month, on again/off again relationship, hallmarked by at least three domestic disturbances, two arrests, four tattoos, and the requisite fully nude rampage through a 7-Eleven at 3AM on a Tuesday morning. Thereafter, eighteen years of pursuing child support payments from Florida Man will commence, ending with Braiden's own daughter projecting Mexican food at Braiden, thus calling the next Florida Man to enter the fray. The cycle shall then be complete.
 
2021-10-27 2:25:35 PM  
...Cue the Shawn Johnson gif...
 
2021-10-27 4:56:42 PM  
20 is 4 in Florida years.
 
2021-10-27 4:59:46 PM  
mmmmm... tossed taco...
 
2021-10-27 4:59:58 PM  
Article is a bit light on details. Were these soft tacos, or hard shell?
 
2021-10-27 5:36:09 PM  

Madison_Smiled: Article is a bit light on details. Were these soft tacos, or hard shell?


Yep, article was useless.   I need to know how many tacos were tossed.  Was she two for two on taco tosses to the head?  That's kind of impressive accuracy, and should be rewarded.  If it was only like two of ten, that's not so great, but then we need to have a conversation about does one really need ten tacos.
 
2021-10-27 6:07:40 PM  

Madison_Smiled: Article is a bit light on details. Were these soft tacos, or hard shell?


Corn or flour? That's even more important.
 
2021-10-27 6:19:17 PM  
Authentic or TexMex?
 
2021-10-27 6:21:20 PM  
Who throws sandwiches?
 
2021-10-27 6:33:26 PM  
I'm pretty sure there are other terms for that other than "tossing the taco", but it'll have to do in Fleriduh. *shrug*
 
2021-10-27 6:34:03 PM  
The unasked question: "Are Aiden and Jayden OK?"
 
2021-10-27 6:35:55 PM  

Ker_Thwap: Madison_Smiled: Article is a bit light on details. Were these soft tacos, or hard shell?

Yep, article was useless.   I need to know how many tacos were tossed.  Was she two for two on taco tosses to the head?  That's kind of impressive accuracy, and should be rewarded.  If it was only like two of ten, that's not so great, but then we need to have a conversation about does one really need ten tacos.


Name checks out.

Oh but for those days gone by when young women were lining up to throw their tacos at me.
 
2021-10-27 6:36:42 PM  

Ker_Thwap: Yep, article was useless. I need to know how many tacos were tossed. Was she two for two on taco tosses to the head?

and "threw two tacos from the dining room."
The tacos struck the victim in the head"


That's two tacos tossed, and two tacos to the head for 100% accuracy. Nothing wrong with the article, Bud.
 
2021-10-27 6:51:17 PM  

Percise1: Ker_Thwap: Yep, article was useless. I need to know how many tacos were tossed. Was she two for two on taco tosses to the head?

and "threw two tacos from the dining room."
The tacos struck the victim in the head"

That's two tacos tossed, and two tacos to the head for 100% accuracy. Nothing wrong with the article, Bud.


Username checks out.
 
2021-10-27 7:16:01 PM  

Ker_Thwap: Percise1: Ker_Thwap: Yep, article was useless. I need to know how many tacos were tossed. Was she two for two on taco tosses to the head?

and "threw two tacos from the dining room."
The tacos struck the victim in the head"

That's two tacos tossed, and two tacos to the head for 100% accuracy. Nothing wrong with the article, Bud.

Username checks out.


Fun at partings too...
 
2021-10-27 8:39:55 PM  
More curious if this is the Midwest kinda tacos made with ground beef and bland as shiat. Or if we are talking real tacos with steak and carnistas and all the good stuff.

Cause if the latter bond was set too damn low. If the former then yes the tacos best use was for assault and battery.
 
2021-10-27 9:03:58 PM  

Axeofjudgement: More curious if this is the Midwest kinda tacos made with ground beef and bland as shiat. Or if we are talking real tacos with steak and carnistas and all the good stuff.

Cause if the latter bond was set too damn low. If the former then yes the tacos best use was for assault and battery.


She threw two and hit with two... so two nasty ass, deep fried, cold TacoBell tacos with the grease sticking them together.
Who would throw any other kind of taco, even in a rage?
 
2021-10-27 9:41:37 PM  

Percise1: Axeofjudgement: More curious if this is the Midwest kinda tacos made with ground beef and bland as shiat. Or if we are talking real tacos with steak and carnistas and all the good stuff.

Cause if the latter bond was set too damn low. If the former then yes the tacos best use was for assault and battery.

She threw two and hit with two... so two nasty ass, deep fried, cold TacoBell tacos with the grease sticking them together.
Who would throw any other kind of taco, even in a rage?


And we are talking a 20 year old in Florida 🤔

The tacos are probably trash and nothing of value was lost.

Well except for the hilarity of someone calling 911 for domestic abuse by their barely adult daughter having a tantrum and throwing "tacos"
 
2021-10-27 9:51:18 PM  

Axeofjudgement: Percise1: Axeofjudgement: More curious if this is the Midwest kinda tacos made with ground beef and bland as shiat. Or if we are talking real tacos with steak and carnistas and all the good stuff.

Cause if the latter bond was set too damn low. If the former then yes the tacos best use was for assault and battery.

She threw two and hit with two... so two nasty ass, deep fried, cold TacoBell tacos with the grease sticking them together.
Who would throw any other kind of taco, even in a rage?

And we are talking a 20 year old in Florida 🤔

The tacos are probably trash and nothing of value was lost.

Well except for the hilarity of someone calling 911 for domestic abuse by their barely adult daughter having a tantrum and throwing "tacos"


I can imagine the dispatch:
"Code 7. All units respond to a live ballistic taco event."
"REPEAT! Code 7, another ongoing ballistic taco event occurring at trailer C in Sunset Park"
"This is not a drill! CODE 7! shiatty tacos are being harmed at trailer C in Sunset Park!"
 
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