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(Slate)   Dear Prudence: Our middle-aged friend says he's falling in love with our teenage daughter. Besides killing or castrating him, wat do?   (slate.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Marriage, Love, Wife, college friend, sperm donor, best place, Husband, Interpersonal relationship  
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664 clicks; posted to Discussion » and Main » on 25 Oct 2021 at 10:40 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



62 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-10-25 10:55:53 AM  
She's an adult. Advise her to use protection and just do butt stuff to be sure to avoid getting pregnant by the old bastard.
 
2021-10-25 11:09:32 AM  
Turnabout is fair play. He wants to fark your daughter? You fark his dad. That's the Dear Prudie way...
 
2021-10-25 11:13:41 AM  
How many goats has he offered in exchange for her hand in marriage?
 
2021-10-25 11:17:41 AM  
Just subscribe to her onlyfans and ask about meetups. It's not creepy if it's business.
 
2021-10-25 11:18:18 AM  

Mugato: She's an adult. Advise her to use protection and just do butt stuff to be sure to avoid getting pregnant by the old bastard.

Came for butt stuff, leaving satisfied.
 
2021-10-25 11:23:02 AM  
"A college friend has long been an "uncle" to our two children."

Well, now you can be the weird uncle that doesn't get invited to family get-togethers!
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2021-10-25 11:26:47 AM  
He asked my husband and I not to tell her

If you don't use "me" instead of "I" in this context you deserve to have a teenage daughter pregnant by some guy old enough to be the man you invite over for threesomes.
 
2021-10-25 11:29:23 AM  
Is he rich? Yes? Then don't get in her way you sugar-daddy-blocking ass.
 
2021-10-25 11:42:05 AM  
Oddly enough I have seen documentaries about this subject. It usually involves the cable being broken.
 
2021-10-25 12:00:40 PM  
Unfriend him.
 
2021-10-25 12:10:20 PM  
The slate commentators are a absolutely insane!
 
2021-10-25 12:14:24 PM  
I don't think I could ever go to some friends and tell them their daughter is a smoke show and can I have a run at her. Yeah you bury that in your shame cave and only let it out when you are scrolling pornhub looking for a girl that looks like her. Not that I would ever know about doing anything like that.
 
2021-10-25 12:20:14 PM  
Your friend is a possible pedophile, get better friends
 
2021-10-25 12:22:37 PM  

Charles of York: Your friend is a possible pedophile, get better friends


Pedophiles who wait until the "victim" is 19 years old?

Get real.
 
2021-10-25 12:30:58 PM  
Hmm I wonder how many previous commenters are 50 year old creeps looking for some barley legal.

The rule is 1/2 your age +7.  50 * .5 +7 = 25. He's too old with old balls and a 5 year plan on don't die.

Get a new friend.
 
2021-10-25 12:34:34 PM  
... forgot to at the 7.. 32
 
2021-10-25 12:56:35 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Relevant.
 
2021-10-25 12:57:20 PM  

Green_Knight: Hmm I wonder how many previous commenters are 50 year old creeps looking for some barley legal.

The rule is 1/2 your age +7.  50 * .5 +7 = 25. He's too old with old balls and a 5 year plan on don't die.

Get a new friend.


Just out of curiosity, why does the daughter have such serious daddy issues?  I mean, other than a mother that writes to slate?  If she sees anything in him then she's running from home as fast as she can and isn't going to care what mom says.

If she doesn't, then what is the problem (other than the typical Prudie nonsense about people babbling idiotic things)?
 
2021-10-25 1:12:55 PM  

Green_Knight: Hmm I wonder how many previous commenters are 50 year old creeps looking for some barley legal.

The rule is 1/2 your age +7.  50 * .5 +7 = 25. He's too old with old balls and a 5 year plan on don't die.

Get a new friend.


Who taught you math? The number you should have got is 32.
 
2021-10-25 1:13:56 PM  

Green_Knight: ... forgot to at the 7.. 32


Nevermind.
 
2021-10-25 1:15:43 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


/You are not supposed to say the quite part out loud.
 
2021-10-25 1:23:59 PM  

Green_Knight: Hmm I wonder how many previous commenters are 50 year old creeps looking for some barley legal.

The rule is 1/2 your age +7.  50 * .5 +7 = 25. He's too old with old balls and a 5 year plan on don't die.

Get a new friend.


Lmao
 
2021-10-25 1:26:30 PM  

Green_Knight: Hmm I wonder how many previous commenters are 50 year old creeps looking for some barley legal.

The rule is 1/2 your age +7.  50 * .5 +7 = 25. He's too old with old balls and a 5 year plan on don't die.

Get a new friend.


opimedia.azureedge.netView Full Size

Mmmm... barley.
 
2021-10-25 1:29:05 PM  
GTFO

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-25 1:30:13 PM  
...how is this not in here yet?!

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-25 1:31:22 PM  

Green_Knight: Hmm I wonder how many previous commenters are 50 year old creeps looking for some barley legal.


If they're looking to sow oats with someone young they should hop to it.
 
2021-10-25 1:37:53 PM  
Well if nothing else, I did feed some grammar Nazi's.

Creep on creepers
 
2021-10-25 1:50:38 PM  
He said the quiet part out loud.

It's been nice knowing you.
 
2021-10-25 1:51:33 PM  

Green_Knight: Well if nothing else, I did feed some grammar Nazi's.

Creep on creepers


Spelling isn't grammar.

/neither is math
 
2021-10-25 2:04:56 PM  

Green_Knight: ---
The rule is 1/2 your age +7. 
---


Just an fyi.
Functioning adult women don't ever use or refer to that 'formula'.
 
2021-10-25 2:19:37 PM  
good luck trying to forget this is what goes through his head every time he sees your daughter
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-25 2:25:18 PM  

SPARC Pile: Mugat


Not even any cash on the nightstand then?
 
2021-10-25 2:27:53 PM  

groppet: I don't think I could ever go to some friends and tell them their daughter is a smoke show and can I have a run at her. Yeah you bury that in your shame cave and only let it out when you are scrolling pornhub looking for a girl that looks like her. Not that I would ever know about doing anything like that.


I wouldn't be ashamed of finding her attractive, but damn I'd be ashamed if I felt like trying to start a relationship with her.

If you're middle aged and trying to start an intimate relationship with a teen, you have failed as an adult.
 
2021-10-25 2:39:30 PM  

yet_another_wumpus: Green_Knight: Hmm I wonder how many previous commenters are 50 year old creeps looking for some barley legal.

The rule is 1/2 your age +7.  50 * .5 +7 = 25. He's too old with old balls and a 5 year plan on don't die.

Get a new friend.

Just out of curiosity, why does the daughter have such serious daddy issues?  I mean, other than a mother that writes to slate?  If she sees anything in him then she's running from home as fast as she can and isn't going to care what mom says.

If she doesn't, then what is the problem (other than the typical Prudie nonsense about people babbling idiotic things)?


There is no indication in TFA that the daughter is attracted to him. The guy tried to get the parents not to tell the daughter so it wouldn't be awkward when they hung out.
 
2021-10-25 2:50:31 PM  

nanim: Green_Knight: ---
The rule is 1/2 your age +7. 
---

Just an fyi.
Functioning adult women don't ever use or refer to that 'formula'.


Does "functional" adult woman mean old?
 
2021-10-25 3:10:07 PM  
What, no one posted the recurring picture of the teenage pole vaulter?
17-year-old to be precise, in that picture.
 
2021-10-25 3:14:03 PM  

Green_Knight: Well if nothing else, I did feed some grammar Nazi's.

Creep on creepers


It bothers me that it bothers me.
 
2021-10-25 3:15:37 PM  

Satampra Zeiros: Green_Knight: Hmm I wonder how many previous commenters are 50 year old creeps looking for some barley legal.

If they're looking to sow oats with someone young they should hop to it.


Well he's so old I think he'd have to clear away the chaff first.
 
2021-10-25 3:26:13 PM  

nanim: Green_Knight: ---
The rule is 1/2 your age +7. 
---

Just an fyi.
Functioning adult women don't ever use or refer to that 'formula'.


So what formula do functioning adult women use? I know my sister's formula includes net worth as a factor.
 
2021-10-25 3:44:35 PM  

maxis_mydog: nanim: Green_Knight: ---
The rule is 1/2 your age +7. 
---

Just an fyi.
Functioning adult women don't ever use or refer to that 'formula'.

So what formula do functioning adult women use? I know my sister's formula includes net worth as a factor.


What net worth does a 40 year old ugly person need?
 
2021-10-25 3:45:01 PM  

nanim: Green_Knight: ---
The rule is 1/2 your age +7.
---

Just an fyi.
Functioning adult women don't ever use or refer to that 'formula'.


Of course not. It doesn't favor the women. They have their own formula and it usually involves money instead of age or attractiveness.
 
2021-10-25 3:57:08 PM  

Smackledorfer: maxis_mydog: nanim: Green_Knight: ---
The rule is 1/2 your age +7. 
---

Just an fyi.
Functioning adult women don't ever use or refer to that 'formula'.

So what formula do functioning adult women use? I know my sister's formula includes net worth as a factor.

What net worth does a 40 year old ugly person need?


"Enough that it doesn't matter"?
 
2021-10-25 3:58:37 PM  

Smackledorfer: maxis_mydog: nanim: Green_Knight: ---
The rule is 1/2 your age +7. 
---

Just an fyi.
Functioning adult women don't ever use or refer to that 'formula'.

So what formula do functioning adult women use? I know my sister's formula includes net worth as a factor.

What net worth does a 40 year old ugly person need?


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-25 4:02:55 PM  

Smackledorfer: maxis_mydog: nanim: Green_Knight: ---
The rule is 1/2 your age +7. 
---

Just an fyi.
Functioning adult women don't ever use or refer to that 'formula'.

So what formula do functioning adult women use? I know my sister's formula includes net worth as a factor.

What net worth does a 40 year old ugly person need?


She's 63 and not too ugly. She won't actually disclose an amount, but I know she's not taking on any more free loaders.
 
2021-10-25 4:16:58 PM  

maxis_mydog: nanim: Green_Knight: ---
The rule is 1/2 your age +7. 
---

Just an fyi.
Functioning adult women don't ever use or refer to that 'formula'.

So what formula do functioning adult women use? I know my sister's formula includes net worth as a factor.


My 60 year old friend has a 26 year old boyfriend she's known since he was 19.
That's probably icky but if their genders were reversed it would be hot, right?
When I met her she was 42 with a 24 year old boyfriend. Younger men love her.
 
2021-10-25 4:17:23 PM  
Tell his wife all about it.

That ought to fix it.
 
2021-10-25 4:29:00 PM  
I'd honestly take this admission and work through it like a friend, than have the groomed princess situation in my personal life although I have to admit, they've been together long enough in a healthy way to justify it
 
2021-10-25 4:30:41 PM  
i guess writing to one of the pantheon of slate advice columns is the penthouse forum of the 21st century

/dear slate forum, im not usually the sort to read or write to these columns
//but i made up a fiction so mind-bendingly erotic that i just had to tell you about it
 
2021-10-25 4:49:03 PM  
Great, now I've got bad 1980's wocky wocky porn-style movie music stuck in my head.
 
2021-10-25 5:29:35 PM  

Random Celebrity Insult Generator: good luck trying to forget this is what goes through his head every time he sees your daughter
[Fark user image 400x152] [View Full Size image _x_]


Came for an American Beauty reference, leaving satisfied.
 
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