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(MSNBC)   Scariest movie this Halloween? Christian weight-loss cult movie. Sorry fatty, no Jesus for you   (msnbc.com) divider line
    More: Creepy, Aesthetics, Gwen Shamblin, Religion, members of the church, case of 8-year-old Josef Smith, Remnant Fellowship, Tammy Faye Messner, Shamblin's untimely death  
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2169 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 24 Oct 2021 at 7:05 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



47 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-10-24 6:13:04 AM  
Don't worry, there's a new low-calorie communion wafer just come out. It's called "I Can't Believe It's Not Jesus".
 
2021-10-24 6:37:26 AM  
Forty days and forty nights in the desert without food?

(clicks)

I'd rather I didn't.
 
2021-10-24 6:49:46 AM  
That woman's hair fascinates me. What on earth was going on under there?
 
2021-10-24 7:14:16 AM  
Vanity and Envy are twofold the Seven Deadly Sins.
 
2021-10-24 7:24:15 AM  
Being sexy for jesus?
 
2021-10-24 7:25:48 AM  
Well, didn't Jesus Himself once say "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for some wide load heifer who can't put down the Funnyns and who thinks those Spanx are making any kind of a difference to waddle her cankles into My Holy Rumpus Room for college football Saturday"
 
2021-10-24 7:35:54 AM  

Sunidesus: That woman's hair fascinates me. What on earth was going on under there?


The higher the hair, the closer to God.
 
2021-10-24 7:38:12 AM  
The Way Down and the movie starts with a plane crash.  Even John Denver didn't earn  such a title.
 
2021-10-24 8:00:29 AM  
Meanwhile, at the Wax Museum:
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-24 8:03:13 AM  

SuperSeriousMan: Sunidesus: That woman's hair fascinates me. What on earth was going on under there?

The higher the hair, the closer to God.


The euphemisms we made for getting high on bathroom wippits and aquanet.

/after a few tours of duty in an ex's place, most of my blain dablage is finally wearibg off
//mosy
 
2021-10-24 8:13:17 AM  
I binged through the initial 3 episodes. There are  2 more coming out next year, as the plane crash made them have to change the arc and a lot of people who wouldnt talk started talking.

It's fascinating and a really good substitute if you like hate-watching Scientology exposes like I do.

/ the hair is insane
 
2021-10-24 8:38:45 AM  

Madison_Smiled: Meanwhile, at the Wax Museum:

[Fark user image 425x452]


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-24 8:44:09 AM  
I saw this...and dear GOD are religions running neck and neck with casinos as to who can get people to willingly part with cash for nothing in return with minimal effort.
 
2021-10-24 9:24:53 AM  
If I was a religious man I would say the crash was an act of God.
And that God would of course be Koalemos, the Roman god of stupidity. The one true God.
 
2021-10-24 9:35:36 AM  
Good Gawd, that thing makes Tammy Faye look subtle.
 
2021-10-24 9:53:23 AM  
Heh heh.  They said "hole".
 
2021-10-24 10:03:59 AM  

Ragin' Asian: Vanity and Envy are twofold the Seven Deadly Sins.


Christians, both women and men but mostly women, are reminded that gluttony is also a deadly sin and being fat is an outward sign that you are a glutton, therefore a sinner. Others can't see the rest of the seven if you act righteous and humble.

I tried to tell a fundy Christian that the Seven Deadly Sins are an invention of the Catholic Church (a group of ascetic monks to be precise) and of course got shot down since they don't care about learning either their Bible or the history of Christianity.
 
2021-10-24 10:05:19 AM  

BeatrixK: I saw this...and dear GOD are religions running neck and neck with casinos as to who can get people to willingly part with cash for nothing in return with minimal effort.


At least in the casino you get fleeced while playing a fun game.
 
2021-10-24 10:23:49 AM  

BeatrixK: I saw this...and dear GOD are religions running neck and neck with casinos as to who can get people to willingly part with cash for nothing in return with minimal effort.


You can get free drinks at a casino.
 
2021-10-24 10:24:12 AM  
Jesus had a six-pack

Fark user imageView Full Size


Nice, Jesus.  You must work out.
 
2021-10-24 10:26:43 AM  
At least they died doing what they loved.  Losing weight and evading taxes.
 
2021-10-24 10:53:00 AM  

gamergirl23: BeatrixK: I saw this...and dear GOD are religions running neck and neck with casinos as to who can get people to willingly part with cash for nothing in return with minimal effort.

You can get free drinks at a casino.


You can get free drinks at church.

catholicireland.netView Full Size
 
2021-10-24 11:03:19 AM  

Madison_Smiled: Meanwhile, at the Wax Museum:
[Fark user image 425x452]


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-24 11:06:08 AM  
Feminized? Feminized?! THAT CREATURE? Jesus, newbie drag queens finding their look are more feminine than that. Hell, the Sisters of the Perpetual Indulgence are more feminine looking AND more along the lines of what an ideal Christian should be than that walking stick with a Pomeranian for hair.

All that Gwen Shamblin showed the world is the aching hollow void of her personality. The world is better off with her gone. There are too many Christians and not enough lions in this world.
 
2021-10-24 12:12:23 PM  

catmandu: and of course got shot down since they don't care about learning either their Bible or the history of Christianity.


I know this is true and yet it is so weird to me. I find the history of all of it absolutely fascinating. Knowing what was happening culturally and historically at the time different books were written absolutely informs my understanding of those books. The way language changes affects our understanding of translations. It's all important! Even little stuff... like knowing that sheep and goats would have looked basically identical to people at the time. That changes the way the verse about separating goats from sheep is understood.

Thankfully my dad is a pastor who also finds all of it fascinating so I can just ask him questions instead of doing tons of research myself. Which is far easier.
 
2021-10-24 12:26:44 PM  
Shamblin told parents to discipline their kids by hitting them with things like glue sticks and wooden spoons. She told children that if they didn't obey their parents without thought, they would never go to heaven and would suffer terribly in the afterlife. Two of her followers went overboard, regularly abusing and ultimately beating to death their 8-year-old son. The church paid their legal fees and insisted the parents were innocent. This woman's death was a net gain for the universe.
 
2021-10-24 1:01:03 PM  

WhippingBoi: gamergirl23: BeatrixK: I saw this...and dear GOD are religions running neck and neck with casinos as to who can get people to willingly part with cash for nothing in return with minimal effort.

You can get free drinks at a casino.

You can get free drinks at church.

[catholicireland.net image 320x240]


That ain't free, you have to sit through a bunch of boring weekend classes when you're a kid.
 
2021-10-24 1:39:00 PM  

Madison_Smiled: Meanwhile, at the Wax Museum:
[Fark user image 425x452]


What the ACTUAL fark? She looks like the Cryptkeeper cross-dressing ffs, he has better hair though. Honestly, she looks like a stoned corpse and that is the look she was selling? Creepy evangelicals.
 
2021-10-24 2:46:32 PM  

Madison_Smiled: Meanwhile, at the Wax Museum:
[Fark user image image 425x452]


Is her hair mating with other hair?
 
2021-10-24 3:03:43 PM  

Sunidesus: That woman's hair fascinates me. What on earth was going on under there?


It's in the official televangelist manual -- thou shalt sport a coif that grabs their attention, the more ridiculous the better.
 
2021-10-24 3:13:15 PM  

OK So Amuse Me: Madison_Smiled: Meanwhile, at the Wax Museum:
[Fark user image 425x452]

What the ACTUAL fark? She looks like the Cryptkeeper cross-dressing ffs, he has better hair though. Honestly, she looks like a stoned corpse and that is the look she was selling? Creepy evangelicals.


"But, but...Jeebus!! JEEBUS!! YOU NEED JEEEEEEEEBUS IN YOUR LIFE, SINNER!!"
Also bullying/peer pressure, humanity is a social animal, some long to be in any group that'll have them, late stage capitalism, mental health issues, emotional immaturity.........etc.
 
2021-10-24 3:16:26 PM  
I Hope I'm Stoned (When Jesus Takes Me Home) (feat. Old Crow Medicine Show)
Youtube SRhWGAzwy9M

 
2021-10-24 3:25:56 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-24 3:51:52 PM  

cryinoutloud: Jesus had a six-pack

[Fark user image image 325x224]

Nice, Jesus.  You must work out.


What part of "CROSSfit" did you miss
 
2021-10-24 4:31:56 PM  
pbs.twimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-24 5:00:32 PM  
I mean, what's described in TFA would be like... moderately bad by Methodist standards, not even in the lowest tiers of malfeasance for the most virtuous Baptist churches.

Like... one dead kid as a result of church-encouraged abuse? Not even "per year"? Just one, period? Jesus Christ, most random christian community churches can't boast a record that clean, how do we nominate this woman for sainthood?
 
2021-10-24 5:14:57 PM  
I wonder way too often why bad things don't happen to horrible people. "Only the good die young." I feel like the Universe did us a solid on this one. Thx, Universe!
 
2021-10-24 6:08:25 PM  

Madison_Smiled: Meanwhile, at the Wax Museum:
[Fark user image 425x452]


imagine being wildly obsessed with your appearance, but also looking like that.

But then, you tend to see those in tabloids all the time. Dangerously mentally ill people who spend tens of thousands to end up looking like farking freaks and think they've 'fixed' themselves.
 
2021-10-24 6:09:55 PM  
The best Jesus movie that nobody saw...

Hamlet 2 - Rock Me Sexy Jesus
Youtube UzwJTOogKyc
 
2021-10-24 8:14:44 PM  

nytmare: Sunidesus: That woman's hair fascinates me. What on earth was going on under there?

It's in the official televangelist manual -- thou shalt sport a coif that grabs their attention, the more ridiculous the better.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-24 8:45:18 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-24 10:08:15 PM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: Well, didn't Jesus Himself once say "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for some wide load heifer who can't put down the Funnyns and who thinks those Spanx are making any kind of a difference to waddle her cankles into My Holy Rumpus Room for college football Saturday"


No. He did say something about hamplanets though. "Whoever amongsteth us who claim to have not lain with thy beebeedubs on 'all hoggs eve' is a gotdammed falsifier"
 
2021-10-24 10:10:28 PM  

catmandu: Ragin' Asian: Vanity and Envy are twofold the Seven Deadly Sins.

Christians, both women and men but mostly women, are reminded that gluttony is also a deadly sin and being fat is an outward sign that you are a glutton, therefore a sinner. Others can't see the rest of the seven if you act righteous and humble.

I tried to tell a fundy Christian that the Seven Deadly Sins are an invention of the Catholic Church (a group of ascetic monks to be precise) and of course got shot down since they don't care about learning either their Bible or the history of Christianity.


Nothing about cold sores of course.
 
2021-10-24 10:17:46 PM  

I_am_lying: OK So Amuse Me: Madison_Smiled: Meanwhile, at the Wax Museum:
[Fark user image 425x452]

What the ACTUAL fark? She looks like the Cryptkeeper cross-dressing ffs, he has better hair though. Honestly, she looks like a stoned corpse and that is the look she was selling? Creepy evangelicals.

"But, but...Jeebus!! JEEBUS!! YOU NEED JEEEEEEEEBUS IN YOUR LIFE, SINNER!!"
Also bullying/peer pressure, humanity is a social animal, some long to be in any group that'll have them, late stage capitalism, mental health issues, emotional immaturity.........etc.


I wonder if some people just don't have anyone in their lives that cares enough about them to tell them they are going over a line? She looks both fit yet emaciated and drawn, You can't tell how much if any plastic surgery she's had for the mask of makeup she plastered on and her eyes look empty. I don't know how that happens? That was not a healthy woman.
 
2021-10-25 8:31:58 AM  
Fat Jesus could not have been crucified. It would have been physically impossible. His arms would have ripped off. It would not have been a pretty sight.
 
2021-10-25 10:19:10 AM  

OK So Amuse Me: I_am_lying: OK So Amuse Me: Madison_Smiled: Meanwhile, at the Wax Museum:
[Fark user image 425x452]

What the ACTUAL fark? She looks like the Cryptkeeper cross-dressing ffs, he has better hair though. Honestly, she looks like a stoned corpse and that is the look she was selling? Creepy evangelicals.

"But, but...Jeebus!! JEEBUS!! YOU NEED JEEEEEEEEBUS IN YOUR LIFE, SINNER!!"
Also bullying/peer pressure, humanity is a social animal, some long to be in any group that'll have them, late stage capitalism, mental health issues, emotional immaturity.........etc.

I wonder if some people just don't have anyone in their lives that cares enough about them to tell them they are going over a line? She looks both fit yet emaciated and drawn, You can't tell how much if any plastic surgery she's had for the mask of makeup she plastered on and her eyes look empty. I don't know how that happens? That was not a healthy woman.


Why is her right hand twice as big as her left?
 
2021-10-25 12:53:43 PM  

Broktun: OK So Amuse Me: I_am_lying: OK So Amuse Me: Madison_Smiled: Meanwhile, at the Wax Museum:
[Fark user image 425x452]

What the ACTUAL fark? She looks like the Cryptkeeper cross-dressing ffs, he has better hair though. Honestly, she looks like a stoned corpse and that is the look she was selling? Creepy evangelicals.

"But, but...Jeebus!! JEEBUS!! YOU NEED JEEEEEEEEBUS IN YOUR LIFE, SINNER!!"
Also bullying/peer pressure, humanity is a social animal, some long to be in any group that'll have them, late stage capitalism, mental health issues, emotional immaturity.........etc.

I wonder if some people just don't have anyone in their lives that cares enough about them to tell them they are going over a line? She looks both fit yet emaciated and drawn, You can't tell how much if any plastic surgery she's had for the mask of makeup she plastered on and her eyes look empty. I don't know how that happens? That was not a healthy woman.

Why is her right hand twice as big as her left?


EWWWWWWWW!!! WTF? It is! Looking closely, her left forearm looks like they photoshopped her at the wrist to make that arm longer. What a bizarre creature!
 
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