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(Popdust)   Someone has an issue with toilet paper, bears, sexual hangups, or all three and this article is proof   (popdust.com) divider line
    More: Weird, Toilet paper, Charmin Bears Commercials, Bear, Toilet, recent Charmin Bears, Papa bear hem, Feces, le Inspection  
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4519 clicks; posted to Main » and Discussion » on 24 Oct 2021 at 6:50 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-10-24 1:26:02 AM  
The Assh*le Inspection Hellscape of the Charmin Bears Commercials

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2021-10-24 1:53:34 AM  
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2021-10-24 4:29:18 AM  
Parenthood involves some tasks that you'd rather not do. Making sure your child wipes their ass is one of them. Making sure they flush is another.

Goddammit why is flushing such a chore for these little assholes?
 
2021-10-24 4:40:05 AM  
Fark: And for once, its not the One Million Moms who are offended
 
2021-10-24 6:42:47 AM  
I've seen the bear commercials but I've never seen anything from TFA.

I thought bears shiat in the woods anyway.
 
2021-10-24 6:57:24 AM  

Mugato: I've seen the bear commercials but I've never seen anything from TFA.

I thought bears shiat in the woods anyway.


Funny thing - when those ads started airing I started calling them 'the bears that shiat in the woods'.  Except, of course, they live in houses.
 
2021-10-24 7:03:37 AM  
Thr Dinglebears
 
2021-10-24 7:06:56 AM  

fragMasterFlash: [Fark user image image 320x480]


Wow, that's just the wrong setup line.

It's "do you have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?"

The whole point is that the question is misconstrued by the rabbit. "Does it bother you" can't be misinterpreted as "does it ever happen to you."
 
2021-10-24 7:09:40 AM  
Kind of reminds me of this:

Sprite Sun Fizz - 90's Commercial
Youtube jjK1aUU2Dx4

I laughed my ass off when I first saw it then was disappointed when the reveal was a plug for Sprite.
 
2021-10-24 7:09:41 AM  
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2021-10-24 7:21:58 AM  
The Charmin Bears have been around since 2000, and throughout the past two decades, their commercials have firmly established a grotesque world order revolving around assh*le inspections.

* Pulitzer button *
 
2021-10-24 7:27:41 AM  
I couldn't even finish this article because, half-way through, I saw THIS!
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Yes, that's right!  They actually printed "the A-word" without substituting an asterisk for the second vowel!  I was so scandalized, I have worn my pearls down to dust from all the clutching at them! And the worst part is that that happened TWICE on that page!  They used the appropriate and much more Christian "assh*le" some forty-eight times.  But, to let that kind of language come through in its uncensored form even just twice is almost too much for my sensibilities.

/I won't feel clean again for weeks!
//WEEKS!!1!
///So, fark this article right in the ass.  I'm not gonna put up with this kind of shiat!
 
2021-10-24 7:30:39 AM  

EvilEgg: Parenthood involves some tasks that you'd rather not do. Making sure your child wipes their ass is one of them. Making sure they flush is another.

Goddammit why is flushing such a chore for these little assholes?


Getting a 4 year old to even get on the toilet is an exercise in futility. Yeah my 10 year old still doesn't flush half the time or lift the toilet seat...
 
2021-10-24 7:32:58 AM  
Does a bear shiat in the woods?

This guy wont know because he missed the whole joke.
 
2021-10-24 7:36:09 AM  
Krom the Fingarian
 
2021-10-24 7:38:02 AM  
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A Far Side comic that never made it to the papers.
 
2021-10-24 7:41:19 AM  
I do not believe that I have ever met anyone who is as obsessed with cartoon buts and poop and a sort of bestiality/coprophilia fantasy  world than the author of that article. And I have been to Japan
 
2021-10-24 7:42:21 AM  
I would like to know why the writer felt it necessary to bowdlerize the word "asshole". Even this site doesn't filter that.

Oh, well, at least the means of censorship kinda resembles the thing censored.
 
2021-10-24 7:42:36 AM  

fragMasterFlash: [Fark user image image 320x480]


Came here for a rabbit joke.. leaving satisfied.
 
2021-10-24 7:43:39 AM  

mikaloyd: I do not believe that I have ever met anyone who is as obsessed with cartoon buts and poop and a sort of bestiality/coprophilia fantasy  world than the author of that article. And I have been to Japan


Go to Germany for a few months, come back, and we'll talk.
 
2021-10-24 7:47:00 AM  

aagrajag: mikaloyd: I do not believe that I have ever met anyone who is as obsessed with cartoon buts and poop and a sort of bestiality/coprophilia fantasy  world than the author of that article. And I have been to Japan

Go to Germany for a few months, come back, and we'll talk.


I dont think that I want to now.
 
2021-10-24 7:56:32 AM  
Think I know who wrote this.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-24 8:09:13 AM  
That person who wrote that is a assh*le
 
2021-10-24 8:14:50 AM  

nmrsnr: fragMasterFlash: [Fark user image image 320x480]

Wow, that's just the wrong setup line.

It's "do you have a problem with poop sticking to your fur?"

The whole point is that the question is misconstrued by the rabbit. "Does it bother you" can't be misinterpreted as "does it ever happen to you."


I always thought it would be better if the shiat did stick to the rabbit's fur.
 
2021-10-24 8:19:13 AM  
Teetering on the precipice of going full on butt stuff.

"The new Charmin Butt Plug. Keeps your hiney clean till it's time to dump!"
 
2021-10-24 8:33:28 AM  

Mugato: I've seen the bear commercials but I've never seen anything from TFA.

I thought bears shiat in the woods anyway.


You're thinking of the Pope.
 
2021-10-24 8:35:10 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-24 8:42:41 AM  

aagrajag: I would like to know why the writer felt it necessary to bowdlerize the word "asshole". Even this site doesn't filter that.

Oh, well, at least the means of censorship kinda resembles the thing censored.


Don't be so critical, I think the article was tongue-in-cheeks.
 
2021-10-24 8:45:32 AM  
I'm so glad that someone besides me noticed the horrificness of the Charmin "inspection" add, though I'm slightly disappointed that they didn't seem to know about the one where the parents of the kid actually look at his asshole with a magnifying glass.
 
2021-10-24 8:46:42 AM  

MythDragon: [i.imgur.com image 500x281] [View Full Size image _x_]


I doubt anyone's going to run out and buy Charmin because of what this ****o** wrote.
 
2021-10-24 8:47:07 AM  

Pants full of macaroni!!: Mugato: I've seen the bear commercials but I've never seen anything from TFA.

I thought bears shiat in the woods anyway.

Funny thing - when those ads started airing I started calling them 'the bears that shiat in the woods'.  Except, of course, they live in houses.


The very first one only had the father and he lived outside. It was meant to be a reference to the "does a bear shiat in the woods" quip. It has snowballed into this crap.
 
2021-10-24 8:48:49 AM  
Good god, people, everyone has one, and they all do the same thing.
 
2021-10-24 8:48:56 AM  
*poop joke*
 
2021-10-24 8:50:53 AM  
media.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-24 9:01:56 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Good god, people, everyone has one, and they all do the same thing.


That hangy-dangy thing in the back of the throat?
 
2021-10-24 9:11:02 AM  
I think we all that this pic is an homage to the 'pic that must not be named'
Fark user imageView Full Size

Just needs a ring
 
2021-10-24 9:16:57 AM  

claystrider: I think we all that this pic is an homage to the 'pic that must not be named'
[Fark user image image 425x232]
Just needs a ring


Two rings.
 
2021-10-24 9:30:50 AM  
My bestie was just telling me about her new bidet. So fark you Charmin, fark you right in the tube.
 
2021-10-24 9:30:53 AM  
I saw an ad where this, like, 30 something Jewish women from Hoboken would fart in a jar and send it to you for twenty bucks.
 
2021-10-24 9:32:49 AM  
You just know that someone, somewhere, is writing furry erotic fan-fiction based on these characters.
 
2021-10-24 9:39:12 AM  

Baron Harkonnen: aagrajag: Go to Germany for a few months, come back, and we'll talk.

I imagine it must be a real problem in Israel.  Because toilet paper costs money.  And, y'know, they're Jews.


Oh my, Baron.
Stick to crushing House Atraides.
 
2021-10-24 9:40:52 AM  
I like to write, but I don't think I could write that much about animated bears and toilet paper.  In fact, the previous sentence fully exhausted my ability to write on those subjects.
 
2021-10-24 9:44:00 AM  

Baron Harkonnen: aagrajag: Go to Germany for a few months, come back, and we'll talk.

I imagine it must be a real problem in Israel.  Because toilet paper costs money.  And, y'know, they're Jews.


Dude, WTF?

There's not enough Internet for you to be a bigoted farkstick on you need to come into a thread about freaking Charmin Bears to do it?
 
2021-10-24 9:44:01 AM  

LouisZepher: Pants full of macaroni!!: Mugato: I've seen the bear commercials but I've never seen anything from TFA.

I thought bears shiat in the woods anyway.

Funny thing - when those ads started airing I started calling them 'the bears that shiat in the woods'.  Except, of course, they live in houses.

The very first one only had the father and he lived outside. It was meant to be a reference to the "does a bear shiat in the woods" quip. It has snowballed into this crap.


They could redeem the whole ad campaign if they had the bears shiatting in the woods and they come across the Pope doing the same thing.  I volunteer to do the Pope's voice work - that kind of thing needs to be kept in the Papal community.  The Papal poople people, if you will.
 
2021-10-24 10:01:52 AM  

LouisZepher: Pants full of macaroni!!: Mugato: I've seen the bear commercials but I've never seen anything from TFA.

I thought bears shiat in the woods anyway.

Funny thing - when those ads started airing I started calling them 'the bears that shiat in the woods'.  Except, of course, they live in houses.

The very first one only had the father and he lived outside. It was meant to be a reference to the "does a bear shiat in the woods" quip. It has snowballed into this crap.


The first or second one actually showed the father shiatting behind a thin tree. Like, you see his body contorting a little and everything.

It's been at least 16 years and I still can't erase that image from my mind.
 
2021-10-24 10:05:27 AM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: Gyrfalcon: Good god, people, everyone has one, and they all do the same thing.

That hangy-dangy thing in the back of the throat?


An opinion. And they all stink.

/Tip the veal and try your waitress.
 
2021-10-24 10:42:11 AM  
Hey, Big Toilet Paper is trying to ride the coattails of toothpaste and deodorants to cause shame in those who don't use their products enough. Dystopian Hellscape? Nah, just regular old fashioned capitalism.
 
2021-10-24 10:46:34 AM  
It's weird that they are all-in with the bears when there are much better ad ideas for them:

Charmin - SNL
Youtube zwkySqQU8tw
 
2021-10-24 10:49:09 AM  

fragMasterFlash: [Fark user image 320x480]


Fark user imageView Full Size


this version of the joke messes up the logic of the joke

The bear doesn't  ask "does it bother you when your fur is dirty with poop"

but instead asks "when you take a poop does it stick to your  fur?"

the rabbit of course answers "No" because it poops out little pellets that don't stick and rabbit butt fur is almost never dirty with poop. The rabbit would be bothered if its fur was dirty with poop because that would mean it was sick.
 
2021-10-24 10:49:21 AM  

God--: EvilEgg: Parenthood involves some tasks that you'd rather not do. Making sure your child wipes their ass is one of them. Making sure they flush is another.

Goddammit why is flushing such a chore for these little assholes?

Getting a 4 year old to even get on the toilet is an exercise in futility. Yeah my 10 year old still doesn't flush half the time or lift the toilet seat...


You suck at parenting
 
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