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(Food and Wine)   America's heaviest pumpkin disqualified - not for lack of sincerity, but integrity   (foodandwine.com) divider line
    More: Ironic, Super Bowl, Green Bay Packers, National Football League, Super Bowl XLIII, Super Bowl XLIV, Super Bowl XL, Giant pumpkin, American football  
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4262 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Oct 2021 at 10:53 PM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



49 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-10-23 9:30:01 PM  
just fix it with a pumpkin patch
 
2021-10-23 9:38:12 PM  
I'm old enough to remember when we got positive stories about the winner of the largest pumpkin competition, rather than  "Isn't it jut such an injustice of the universe that he lost because it cracked on him" stories.  What happened to congratulatory stories like that?
 
2021-10-23 10:55:10 PM  
Let's get this out of the way.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 11:00:30 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: I'm old enough to remember when we got positive stories about the winner of the largest pumpkin competition, rather than  "Isn't it jut such an injustice of the universe that he lost because it cracked on him" stories.  What happened to congratulatory stories like that?


Positive stories make people feel bad about themselves. Negative stories make people feel good about themselves. Like some sort of collective schadenfreude.

On another note, wonder how many pies 2500lbs of pumpkin makes?
 
2021-10-23 11:02:00 PM  

kkinnison: just fix it with a pumpkin patch


i.pinimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 11:03:59 PM  
Yeah, Linus smoked a lot of crack waiting for the Great Pumpkin.
 
2021-10-23 11:04:06 PM  

Bowen: "There's no crying in pumpkin growing," said competitive grower Mike Schmit.

Did he cry about it?


i.imgflip.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 11:05:27 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 11:05:45 PM  
He seems to have a great attitude. I like that in a person.
 
2021-10-23 11:06:00 PM  
Crack? At least it wasn't steroids?
 
2021-10-23 11:10:30 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: I'm old enough to remember when we got positive stories about the winner of the largest pumpkin competition, rather than  "Isn't it jut such an injustice of the universe that he lost because it cracked on him" stories.  What happened to congratulatory stories like that?


Who cares?
 
2021-10-23 11:10:37 PM  
Elephant Herd Squishes Giant Pumpkins
Youtube IXJg29MNJNM


These elephant punks just enjoy smashing and scattering the things, eating
just a little, and going on about their business.  You can almost see them in
leather jackets and a cigarette dangling from their lips. Imagine if they roamed the
streets!  This is why they're locked up.
 
2021-10-23 11:11:14 PM  
"America's Heaviest Pumpkin was Disqualified"

Narrator: It's not America's heaviest pumpkin.

Are they going to post an article for every pumpkin that isn't eligible for the title? Because that would be a lot of articles.
 
2021-10-23 11:13:02 PM  
Well that sucks
 
2021-10-23 11:13:04 PM  

Billy Liar: [YouTube video: Elephant Herd Squishes Giant Pumpkins]

These elephant punks just enjoy smashing and scattering the things, eating
just a little, and going on about their business.  You can almost see them in
leather jackets and a cigarette dangling from their lips. Imagine if they roamed the
streets!  This is why they're locked up.


Some heffalumps just want to watch the world burn.
 
2021-10-23 11:13:50 PM  

Billy Liar: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/IXJg29MN​JNM]

These elephant punks just enjoy smashing and scattering the things, eating
just a little, and going on about their business.  You can almost see them in
leather jackets and a cigarette dangling from their lips. Imagine if they roamed the
streets!  This is why they're locked up.


Well, that and the human bloodlust.
 
2021-10-23 11:16:09 PM  

Billy Liar: [YouTube video: Elephant Herd Squishes Giant Pumpkins]

These elephant punks just enjoy smashing and scattering the things, eating
just a little, and going on about their business.  You can almost see them in
leather jackets and a cigarette dangling from their lips. Imagine if they roamed the
streets!  This is why they're locked up.


🎵Tomorrow's just an excuse away
So I pull my collar up and face the cold, on my own
The earth laughs beneath my heavy feet
At the blasphemy in my old jangly walk🎵
 
2021-10-23 11:17:21 PM  
preview.redd.itView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 11:18:15 PM  

DOCTORD000M: Bowen: "There's no crying in pumpkin growing," said competitive grower Mike Schmit.

Did he cry about it?

[i.imgflip.com image 663x376]


i.ytimg.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 11:20:22 PM  

bughunter: [preview.redd.it image 640x853]


Ideal for lonely men, not ideal for men who are bad at math.
 
2021-10-23 11:21:00 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 11:21:40 PM  

MBooda: Let's get this out of the way.
[Fark user image 850x638]


Yes please. Push it out into the street, in fact!
 
2021-10-23 11:23:49 PM  
 
2021-10-23 11:26:48 PM  
myconfinedspace.comView Full Size

/mmm, pumpkin pie
 
2021-10-23 11:28:17 PM  

GodComplex: Benevolent Misanthrope: I'm old enough to remember when we got positive stories about the winner of the largest pumpkin competition, rather than  "Isn't it jut such an injustice of the universe that he lost because it cracked on him" stories.  What happened to congratulatory stories like that?

Positive stories make people feel bad about themselves. Negative stories make people feel good about themselves. Like some sort of collective schadenfreude.

On another note, wonder how many pies 2500lbs of pumpkin makes?


Its how many pies...its how BIG of a pie that could make!
 
2021-10-23 11:29:05 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 11:29:45 PM  
We're going to need a bigger Cannon.
 
2021-10-23 11:34:23 PM  
That's the second time this week !
 
2021-10-23 11:49:01 PM  

GodComplex: Benevolent Misanthrope: I'm old enough to remember when we got positive stories about the winner of the largest pumpkin competition, rather than  "Isn't it jut such an injustice of the universe that he lost because it cracked on him" stories.  What happened to congratulatory stories like that?

Positive stories make people feel bad about themselves. Negative stories make people feel good about themselves. Like some sort of collective schadenfreude.

On another note, wonder how many pies 2500lbs of pumpkin makes?


Using my recipe for Jack-o'-lantern Pie, roughly 1,777.  You will also need 1,777 cans of evaporated milk, 584 pounds of brown sugar, 10.2 pounds of cinnamon, 55 pounds of salt, 6 pounds of ground ginger, 3 pounds of ground cloves, 297 dozen eggs, 446 pounds of butter, and 667 pounds of flour.

And a really big oven.
 
2021-10-23 11:53:11 PM  

bughunter: [preview.redd.it image 640x853]


50 minutes seems to be the best deal.
 
2021-10-23 11:57:02 PM  

Madaynun: We're going to need a bigger Cannon.


i.pinimg.comView Full Size


This one big enough?
 
2021-10-23 11:57:12 PM  

Afro Wonderwagon: GodComplex: Benevolent Misanthrope: I'm old enough to remember when we got positive stories about the winner of the largest pumpkin competition, rather than  "Isn't it jut such an injustice of the universe that he lost because it cracked on him" stories.  What happened to congratulatory stories like that?

Positive stories make people feel bad about themselves. Negative stories make people feel good about themselves. Like some sort of collective schadenfreude.

On another note, wonder how many pies 2500lbs of pumpkin makes?

Its how many pies...its how BIG of a pie that could make!


1 pie would be about 32 feet across, assuming a standard 2" depth of filling.
 
2021-10-24 12:04:04 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: Afro Wonderwagon: GodComplex: Benevolent Misanthrope: I'm old enough to remember when we got positive stories about the winner of the largest pumpkin competition, rather than  "Isn't it jut such an injustice of the universe that he lost because it cracked on him" stories.  What happened to congratulatory stories like that?

Positive stories make people feel bad about themselves. Negative stories make people feel good about themselves. Like some sort of collective schadenfreude.

On another note, wonder how many pies 2500lbs of pumpkin makes?

Its how many pies...its how BIG of a pie that could make!

1 pie would be about 32 feet across, assuming a standard 2" depth of filling.


images.hellogiggles.comView Full Size
 
Oak
2021-10-24 12:10:35 AM  
To be fair, it was also a pretty sarcastic pumpkin.
 
2021-10-24 12:16:38 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-24 12:17:12 AM  

Chemlight Battery: bughunter: [preview.redd.it image 640x853]

50 minutes seems to be the best deal.


Yeah, but why would you want to cuddle with a pumpkin for 49 minutes?
 
2021-10-24 12:22:03 AM  

bughunter: [myconfinedspace.com image 734x878]
/mmm, pumpkin pie


NSFL
 
2021-10-24 12:31:36 AM  

GodComplex: On another note, wonder how many pies 2500lbs of pumpkin makes?


None because that size pumpkin is worth nothing but pig feed.
 
2021-10-24 12:50:23 AM  
Wait until 2024.
 
2021-10-24 1:10:15 AM  

chitownmike: Benevolent Misanthrope: I'm old enough to remember when we got positive stories about the winner of the largest pumpkin competition, rather than  "Isn't it jut such an injustice of the universe that he lost because it cracked on him" stories.  What happened to congratulatory stories like that?

Who cares?


uniqueideas.siteView Full Size


/ARRRR
 
2021-10-24 1:30:36 AM  
I don't get it. How does a crack make the pumpkin smaller?

It's still the biggest.

It's not an arbitrary standard of beauty pumpkin contest.
 
2021-10-24 2:56:17 AM  

Nirbo: I don't get it. How does a crack make the pumpkin smaller?

It's still the biggest.

It's not an arbitrary standard of beauty pumpkin contest.


I think cuz they might use the defect to put a little something heavier inside, like cement or some such.
Or lead.
Or gold...well no not gold.
Or something liquid and heavier than pumpkin guts.
 
2021-10-24 4:34:03 AM  
What? Is it an overall pumpkin growing contest, or is heft the only point of comparison? Because that's a heavy ass-pumpkin, crack or no.
 
2021-10-24 4:36:50 AM  

puffy999: Billy Liar: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/IXJg29MN​JNM]

These elephant punks just enjoy smashing and scattering the things, eating
just a little, and going on about their business.  You can almost see them in
leather jackets and a cigarette dangling from their lips. Imagine if they roamed the
streets!  This is why they're locked up.

Well, that and the human bloodlust.


Follow up story: It is unknown why the elephants attacked a worker wearing an orange safety vest.
 
2021-10-24 10:01:39 AM  
Cracks are wacks.
 
2021-10-24 12:51:39 PM  
perpetual victims

/quelle surprise
 
2021-10-24 2:15:48 PM  

Billy Liar: [YouTube video: Elephant Herd Squishes Giant Pumpkins]

These elephant punks just enjoy smashing and scattering the things, eating
just a little, and going on about their business.  You can almost see them in
leather jackets and a cigarette dangling from their lips. Imagine if they roamed the
streets!  This is why they're locked up.


It looks like the elephant version of popping bubble wrap.
 
2021-10-24 3:57:59 PM  

bughunter: [preview.redd.it image 640x853]


$10/hr OR $1 for 10 minutes?  What happened to bulk discount?
 
2021-10-24 4:06:08 PM  

MBooda: Let's get this out of the way.
[Fark user image 850x638]


Saves me a post. Whoops!
 
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