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(New Musical Express)   The Brits sure do love Coldplay   (nme.com) divider line
    More: Fail, UK Singles Chart, Chris Martin, chart sales, band's new record, last week, year-old Apple, Music Of The Spheres, per cent of Coldplay  
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1241 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 23 Oct 2021 at 2:20 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



46 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-10-23 2:24:44 PM  
Thats because they are yellow.
 
2021-10-23 2:27:46 PM  
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2021-10-23 2:44:55 PM  
videos.videopress.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 2:53:00 PM  
I first heard about them when The Onion AV Club reviewed their debut album and I really liked it. Since then, all their subsequent releases sound the same and Chris Martin is on a Morrissey asshole trajectory.
 
2021-10-23 3:01:04 PM  
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2021-10-23 3:12:41 PM  
Have you had their food?!?!??!
 
2021-10-23 3:15:44 PM  
God, they even look boring.
 
2021-10-23 3:23:19 PM  
Okay.
 
2021-10-23 3:26:57 PM  

El Rich-o: God, they even look boring.


Harry and Paul - The Old Grey Wrinkled Testicle
Youtube Kx_C28G_Hs4
 
2021-10-23 3:33:54 PM  
Harry and Paul - Earlier With Jools Holland
Youtube 2BCJvY-nK64
 
2021-10-23 3:50:42 PM  
I don't often like to listen to them and it's not my bag in general. But I have no need to say they suck. They don't suck. They are very talented and that blonde guy writes some very lovely melodies.
 
2021-10-23 4:01:03 PM  
The first album was great.  second  one had a few overplayed singles to the point where I never gave it a proper  chance.  Haven't bothered with subsequent releases.  Been curious to check out that one Eno produced
 
2021-10-23 4:23:10 PM  
I had to hear "Yellow" every hour for a month.

I earned the right to hate Coldplay.
 
2021-10-23 4:23:17 PM  
It's the type of twattery that's enjoyed by people such as Gwyneth Paltrow.
 
2021-10-23 5:04:06 PM  
That Coldplay - Game of Thones thing was funny. Then the last couple of GoT seasons happened and it lost its coolness.
 
2021-10-23 5:11:20 PM  
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2021-10-23 5:12:43 PM  

LewDux: El Rich-o: God, they even look boring.

[Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/Kx_C28G_​Hs4]


Moloko - Pure Pleasure Seeker (Official HD Video)
Youtube 0BuAXfVwpkg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W​quVPc​r7U4U
 
2021-10-23 5:14:08 PM  
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2021-10-23 5:17:12 PM  

Bslim: It's the type of twattery that's enjoyed by people such as Gwyneth Paltrow.


Don't give her any ideas. "Hey, fans, check out my new 'This Smells Like Coldplay' candle!"
 
2021-10-23 5:33:34 PM  
So a sales chart that is based on sales of things mostly old people buy is dominated by dad rock?

Say it ain't so.
 
2021-10-23 5:43:22 PM  

JohnBigBootay: I don't often like to listen to them and it's not my bag in general. But I have no need to say they suck. They don't suck. They are very talented and that blonde guy writes some very lovely melodies.


Yeah, I know they're a running joke and all, but about the worst thing they ever did was make inoffensive music that moms like.

Their first album is legit a great record. I like the second record pretty well, though like someone said above, a few singles got driven into the ground to the point where you don't want to hear them anymore. I can't remember the last time I listened to it.

After that they got pretty same-y, which is their worst crime. I can't tell one song from another anymore (though in all fairness, I don't pay close attention anymore, either).

I've always been fond of this one from their third or fourth record, because it's so damn shoegazey:

Coldplay - Chinese Sleep Chant [Studio Version]
Youtube xgzg50JtQNo


I'd love for them to embrace more of that and really lean into the sonics instead of doing another collection of mid-tempo "emotional anthem" semi-ballads. Their guitarist is a pretty good Edge-lite as far as that's concerned.

Unfortunately, they're just a little boring now.

But like I said, if that's their worst crime -- making inoffensive mainstream music -- then there are far better bands to be punchlines.
 
2021-10-23 5:45:42 PM  

Norfolking Chance: So a sales chart that is based on sales of things mostly old people buy is dominated by dad rock?

Say it ain't so.


"In February 2015, it was announced that due to the falling sales of albums and rise in popularity of audio streaming, the Official Albums Chart would begin including streaming data from March 2015.[1] Under the revised methodology, the Official Charts Company takes the 12 most streamed tracks from one album, with the top-two songs being down-weighted in line with the average of the rest. The total of these streams is divided by 1000 and added to the pure sales of the album. This calculation was designed to ensure that the chart rundown continues to reflect the popularity of the albums themselves, rather than just the performance of one or two smash hit singles"
 
2021-10-23 6:14:39 PM  

JohnBigBootay: I don't often like to listen to them and it's not my bag in general. But I have no need to say they suck. They don't suck. They are very talented and that blonde guy writes some very lovely melodies.


Parachutes and A Rush of Blood are fine albums.
 
2021-10-23 6:19:42 PM  
Anyways, here's Wonderwall.

/Did I do it wrong?
 
2021-10-23 6:34:30 PM  
Well, it can't be all Napalm Death and Flux of Pink Indians, now, can it?
 
2021-10-23 6:36:42 PM  

FormlessOne: Bslim: It's the type of twattery that's enjoyed by people such as Gwyneth Paltrow.

Don't give her any ideas. "Hey, fans, check out my new 'This Smells Like Coldplay' candle!"


I still want to know about the testing and review process they had for her vagina stench candle. And if you spread a few around your house and light them all at once, it'd be like you were living inside Gwyneth herself.
 
2021-10-23 6:44:41 PM  
I didn't get them, but then I saw some video of a live show, and they are very entertaining monkeys.

You know, some people aren't music snobs, they just like a bit of energy to hit the dopamine receptors.

Stuff that, I'm a music snob and I hate Coldplay.  But for pop, they do really well.  I can hate the music and yet respect the product.
 
2021-10-23 7:33:54 PM  
I misread the headline :(
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2021-10-23 7:37:37 PM  
the safest band in the world, although i did read one of the band members got a tattoo at one stage
 
2021-10-23 7:54:03 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


We're Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Bland
We hope you have enjoyed the suck
Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Bland
Our mediocrity has run amok.

Sergeant Pepper's lonely.
Sergeant Pepper's lonely.
Sergeant Pepper's lonely.
Sergeant Pepper's lonely.

Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Bland
We'd like to thank you once again
Sergeant Pepper's one and only Lonely Hearts Club Bland
For not feeling fleeced until the end

Sergeant Pepper's lonely
Sergeant Pepper's lonely
Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts...... Club..... BLAAAAAAAANNNNNNNND!!!
 
2021-10-23 8:01:51 PM  
Well, the Brits do have a great track record for catapulting the most groundbreaking music to the top of the charts.

lite-images-i.scdn.coView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 8:11:19 PM  

shoegaze99: JohnBigBootay: I don't often like to listen to them and it's not my bag in general. But I have no need to say they suck. They don't suck. They are very talented and that blonde guy writes some very lovely melodies.

Yeah, I know they're a running joke and all, but about the worst thing they ever did was make inoffensive music that moms like.

Their first album is legit a great record. I like the second record pretty well, though like someone said above, a few singles got driven into the ground to the point where you don't want to hear them anymore. I can't remember the last time I listened to it.

After that they got pretty same-y, which is their worst crime. I can't tell one song from another anymore (though in all fairness, I don't pay close attention anymore, either).

I've always been fond of this one from their third or fourth record, because it's so damn shoegazey:

[YouTube video: Coldplay - Chinese Sleep Chant [Studio Version]]

I'd love for them to embrace more of that and really lean into the sonics instead of doing another collection of mid-tempo "emotional anthem" semi-ballads. Their guitarist is a pretty good Edge-lite as far as that's concerned.

Unfortunately, they're just a little boring now.

But like I said, if that's their worst crime -- making inoffensive mainstream music -- then there are far better bands to be punchlines.


Yeah. It's pop music. They're very good at it even if I am not often bothered to listen to it. Other than the fact they are younger than me, plus thin and rich and perhaps boring I'm not sure what there is to hate. I saw Rick Beato do some deep cut a month or two ago and I found myself saying, 'fark, that is a really pretty melody. Damn, he did play that nicely. And wow, he really did sing that beautifully.

Anyway... I don't own a thing and I've never bought a ticket but I just can't say they suck. There are plenty of successful pop stars who can't sing with a shiat, write nothing, and play zero instruments. Coldplay is exceedingly competent.
 
2021-10-23 8:15:41 PM  

Norfolking Chance: So a sales chart that is based on sales of things mostly old people buy is dominated by dad rock?

Say it ain't so.


You realize streams are part of these sales figures right?
 
2021-10-23 8:38:29 PM  

Colour_out_of_Space: I misread the headline :(
[Fark user image image 594x594]
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Back in my day...
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...nevermind.
 
2021-10-23 8:45:17 PM  
Had a surgeon request "Coldplay" once.  Only he was German and pronounced it more like "Kohhhhhld-play".  I checked my iPod and had exactly 2 songs by the band:  "Yellow", which I really like, and their Christmas song.  Yup, he got tired of my playlist.
 
2021-10-23 9:36:01 PM  
Your hate sustains me

Coldplay - Speed Of Sound (Live From Austin City Limits)
Youtube PV00SGTLM2I
 
2021-10-23 10:00:28 PM  
Coldplay is the go-to answer for people who don't like music but don't want to seem weird when they get asked what they listen to.

You're not going to have a long and involved conversation about how great they are.  You're not going to talk about how they revolutionized anything.  You'll nod because they're a thing and move on to talk about something else and that will be it.

At their very best they serve the purpose as a conversational mulligan.
 
2021-10-23 10:44:48 PM  

Skarekrough: Coldplay is the go-to answer for people who don't like music but don't want to seem weird when they get asked what they listen to.

You're not going to have a long and involved conversation about how great they are.  You're not going to talk about how they revolutionized anything.  You'll nod because they're a thing and move on to talk about something else and that will be it.

At their very best they serve the purpose as a conversational mulligan.


Apparently not.

Each Coldplay thread gets lots of comments.
 
2021-10-23 10:53:34 PM  

CFitzsimmons: JohnBigBootay: I don't often like to listen to them and it's not my bag in general. But I have no need to say they suck. They don't suck. They are very talented and that blonde guy writes some very lovely melodies.

Parachutes and A Rush of Blood are fine albums.


I really liked their last African inspired album Everyday Life.

Current one is interesting enough. Though more in the vein of the same bland pop that was 4 albums before.

Yeah, Coldplay have nothing to say, no grand visions of anything. Just bland, but quality pop songs.
 
2021-10-23 10:56:17 PM  
Hey, give them a break. Some people can't handle the hard stuff like Dave Matthews.
 
2021-10-23 11:49:40 PM  
They've sucked since they started going hard to court pop radio attention via collaborations with guest vocalists/songwriters/producers. The first 4 records before they went down that path were solid and now sound like the work of an entirely different band.
 
2021-10-24 12:11:54 AM  
I don't care for how their music has evolved. It has gotten to dance/teen pop oriented for my taste. They peaked during their Game of Thrones musical. After that, they went off the rails.

Coldplay's Game of Thrones: The Musical (Full 12-minute version)
Youtube zs7xO5P3Az4
 
2021-10-24 5:10:19 AM  

American Decency Association: the safest band in the world, although i did read one of the band members got a tattoo at one stage


You're thinking of Foo Fighters
 
2021-10-24 5:16:28 AM  

TheJoe03: Norfolking Chance: So a sales chart that is based on sales of things mostly old people buy is dominated by dad rock?

Say it ain't so.

You realize streams are part of these sales figures right?


I think you need to explain to him what exactly are "streams", probably by comparing "streams"  to radio.
 
2021-10-24 9:23:59 AM  

LewDux: TheJoe03: Norfolking Chance: So a sales chart that is based on sales of things mostly old people buy is dominated by dad rock?

Say it ain't so.

You realize streams are part of these sales figures right?

I think you need to explain to him what exactly are "streams", probably by comparing "streams"  to radio.


The streaming numbers average out the figures for the twelve most played songs on the album.

People still have to listen to most of an album for it to count and that is not how the under 30's listen to music. Playlists of multiple artists is how younger people listen to music today, not whole albums.
 
2021-10-24 11:24:28 AM  

mr0x: Skarekrough: Coldplay is the go-to answer for people who don't like music but don't want to seem weird when they get asked what they listen to.

You're not going to have a long and involved conversation about how great they are.  You're not going to talk about how they revolutionized anything.  You'll nod because they're a thing and move on to talk about something else and that will be it.

At their very best they serve the purpose as a conversational mulligan.

Apparently not.

Each Coldplay thread gets lots of comments.


Sure but it's always mainly "Coldplay sucks" along with a few "I like that one song".

However that does notch them a slight touch above Nickelback threads.
 
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