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(This looks terrible)   Chick Norris offers such items as the "hot chix platter", "knuckle sandwich", and "chicken balls"... and a website that is very 1998   (chicknorrisrestaurant.com) divider line
    More: Amusing, 1995 in film, Chick Norris, Macho Sauce, Kickin, Friday  
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1864 clicks; posted to Food » and Business » on 23 Oct 2021 at 10:02 AM (5 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



61 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2021-10-23 8:58:23 AM  
I like that the default text in the copyright notice is still there.

Fark user image
 
2021-10-23 9:51:57 AM  
Why do they sell communist beverages?
 
2021-10-23 10:17:36 AM  
It's a real place. I figured it was a shiatty parody. My opinion went from ": lame" to ": awesome"

Chick Norris - Google Maps

I'd try it.
 
2021-10-23 10:21:44 AM  
Dream restaurant; Does this look like a nightmare or is it just me.
static.wixstatic.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 10:26:38 AM  
Everything about that site is odd. As someone said it is just enough off the beam to feel like a parody. Even the way he/she writes in the "About" page. If I was local I'd still go once and check it out though.
 
2021-10-23 10:45:09 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 10:53:05 AM  

fasahd: Dream restaurant; Does this look like a nightmare or is it just me.
[static.wixstatic.com image 569x319]


Super popular restaurants can be garish so you finish your food and get the fark out, which results in quicker table turns. This certainly fits that bill.

/glad to see this guy aiming big
 
2021-10-23 11:16:12 AM  

fasahd: Dream restaurant; Does this look like a nightmare or is it just me.
[static.wixstatic.com image 569x319]


I think that looks freakin' awesome. i probably wouldn't deal dope out of there but I can see myself sitting there chowing on a Chicka Chicka Wrap.
 
2021-10-23 11:21:36 AM  
Found out what rituals go on in the kitchen
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 11:29:04 AM  
i.imgur.comView Full Size


Our appetizers include the "Action Jeans Closeup Crotch Shot."  Feast your eyes on this tasty Flexi-denim grundle.
 
2021-10-23 11:30:17 AM  

kkinnison: Found out what rituals go on in the kitchen[Fark user image 532x300] [View Full Size image _x_]


I'm not sure which is more disturbing, the thought of you having that gif already on your pc, or your knowing how to find it for this thread
 
2021-10-23 11:36:00 AM  
those chicken balls look delicious
 
2021-10-23 11:42:48 AM  
" ... and a website that is very 1998  "

Meh, Wix based websites are too javacrapped up to be 90's websites
 
2021-10-23 11:48:47 AM  

fasahd: Dream restaurant; Does this look like a nightmare or is it just me.
[static.wixstatic.com image 569x319]


This looks like the black Lodge from twin peaks but green
 
2021-10-23 11:57:28 AM  

buckwebb: Everything about that site is odd. As someone said it is just enough off the beam to feel like a parody. Even the way he/she writes in the "About" page. If I was local I'd still go once and check it out though.


Very odd capitalization as well. The word "order" is capitalized the first time, but not again. Cornflakes, which is a brand name and should be capitalized is not. The whole thing is a sloppy mess of design and grammar, but I'd eat the food.
 
2021-10-23 12:09:46 PM  

fasahd: Dream restaurant; Does this look like a nightmare or is it just me.
[static.wixstatic.com image 569x319]


It looks like the deleted last scene in 2001 A Space Odyssey.
 
2021-10-23 12:19:57 PM  
Nah subby, it's crappy.. but still way too nice to pass as a 90s site
 
2021-10-23 12:27:45 PM  

fasahd: Dream restaurant; Does this look like a nightmare or is it just me.
[static.wixstatic.com image 569x319]


It depends on what you call a nightmare. Now that we can all admit we've all seen this place and had this dream, what happened to me is, I enter the restaurant, and try to eat my chikin, but I can't, because it's not spelled correctly. And then Chuck Norris suddenly appears and tries to punch me, but I fly away.
 
2021-10-23 12:50:37 PM  

fasahd: Dream restaurant; Does this look like a nightmare or is it just me.
[static.wixstatic.com image 569x319]


Reminiscent of the bathrooms in The Shining

images.squarespace-cdn.comView Full Size

images.squarespace-cdn.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 12:56:51 PM  
This whole trainwreck of a website and concept is pretty on brand for Norco
 
2021-10-23 1:12:09 PM  

iamskibibitz: fasahd: Dream restaurant; Does this look like a nightmare or is it just me.
[static.wixstatic.com image 569x319]

Super popular restaurants can be garish so you finish your food and get the fark out, which results in quicker table turns. This certainly fits that bill.

/glad to see this guy aiming big


I read McDonald's designed their booths that way: comfy for a bit then horrible.

I sat on the patio of a place last week on the waterfront, and I immediately thought their chairs were designed the same way. To purposely force table turn and make it uncomfortable to lounge out there.

As a person who dines out as much to relax as to eat, that shiat offends me. Let me drink my beer, share an appetizer, drink my beer, maybe a third beer, and then converse a while as I slowly eat my dinner. If I wanted fast food I'd have gotten fast food.
 
2021-10-23 1:14:40 PM  

Gordon Bennett: I like that the default text in the copyright notice is still there.

[Fark user image image 469x75]


Came here to point out this same exact thing. Idiocy and laziness abound on shiatty sites like that.
 
2021-10-23 1:54:55 PM  
Drive thru Norco, CA and it will all make sense.
 
151 [OhFark]
2021-10-23 2:12:50 PM  

Smackledorfer: iamskibibitz: fasahd: Dream restaurant; Does this look like a nightmare or is it just me.
[static.wixstatic.com image 569x319]

Super popular restaurants can be garish so you finish your food and get the fark out, which results in quicker table turns. This certainly fits that bill.

/glad to see this guy aiming big

I read McDonald's designed their booths that way: comfy for a bit then horrible.

I sat on the patio of a place last week on the waterfront, and I immediately thought their chairs were designed the same way. To purposely force table turn and make it uncomfortable to lounge out there.

As a person who dines out as much to relax as to eat, that shiat offends me. Let me drink my beer, share an appetizer, drink my beer, maybe a third beer, and then converse a while as I slowly eat my dinner. If I wanted fast food I'd have gotten fast food.


I 100% get your point of view, and respect it. But you're the type of person most restaurants in America hate. It's all about flipping the table for Max profits.

Neither one of you are wrong.
 
2021-10-23 2:30:03 PM  

ltdanman44: those chicken balls look delicious


That's what she said
 
2021-10-23 2:31:47 PM  

I Swear I'll Jump: fasahd: Dream restaurant; Does this look like a nightmare or is it just me.
[static.wixstatic.com image 569x319]

It looks like the deleted last scene in 2001 A Space Odyssey.


2001 Trivia: the first cut for the final scene had Dave Bowman eating some chicken balls but then Kubrick really wanted the sound of utensils so they switched to soup
 
2021-10-23 2:32:56 PM  
I'm disappointed there was no roundhouse kick something on the menu.
 
2021-10-23 2:34:34 PM  

151: Smackledorfer: iamskibibitz: fasahd: Dream restaurant; Does this look like a nightmare or is it just me.
[static.wixstatic.com image 569x319]

Super popular restaurants can be garish so you finish your food and get the fark out, which results in quicker table turns. This certainly fits that bill.

/glad to see this guy aiming big

I read McDonald's designed their booths that way: comfy for a bit then horrible.

I sat on the patio of a place last week on the waterfront, and I immediately thought their chairs were designed the same way. To purposely force table turn and make it uncomfortable to lounge out there.

As a person who dines out as much to relax as to eat, that shiat offends me. Let me drink my beer, share an appetizer, drink my beer, maybe a third beer, and then converse a while as I slowly eat my dinner. If I wanted fast food I'd have gotten fast food.

I 100% get your point of view, and respect it. But you're the type of person most restaurants in America hate. It's all about flipping the table for Max profits.

Neither one of you are wrong.


Almost up there with a table full of highschoolers drinking water on All you can eat wing night.
 
2021-10-23 2:38:25 PM  
Now I want a Patrick Swayze themed restaurant. But what would it serve?
 
2021-10-23 2:39:21 PM  

151: Smackledorfer: iamskibibitz: fasahd: Dream restaurant; Does this look like a nightmare or is it just me.
[static.wixstatic.com image 569x319]

Super popular restaurants can be garish so you finish your food and get the fark out, which results in quicker table turns. This certainly fits that bill.

/glad to see this guy aiming big

I read McDonald's designed their booths that way: comfy for a bit then horrible.

I sat on the patio of a place last week on the waterfront, and I immediately thought their chairs were designed the same way. To purposely force table turn and make it uncomfortable to lounge out there.

As a person who dines out as much to relax as to eat, that shiat offends me. Let me drink my beer, share an appetizer, drink my beer, maybe a third beer, and then converse a while as I slowly eat my dinner. If I wanted fast food I'd have gotten fast food.

I 100% get your point of view, and respect it. But you're the type of person most restaurants in America hate. It's all about flipping the table for Max profits.

Neither one of you are wrong.


Well, they might be wrong. Not about wanting profits, but about whether making their dining experience inferior actually grants them the profits they seek. I can't think of any other decent or above restaurant I've ever been to that purchased terribly uncomfortable seats from Veridian Dynamics to turn tables.  Also, it didn't work, because we stayed as long as we wanted anyway, and complained about their shiatty chairs. It probably WILL influence my choice of whether to dine there in the future, and Tuesday night is my usual Saturday night.

Meanwhile, the place I dined at a week prior in greektown with a bill of 90 dollars each let us sit and enjoy ourselves and never filled up, and that was on an actual Saturday.  I don't know if my new local joint (name withheld for PII reasons) is going to be more successful than Fishbones in the long run. I hope not, if the way to try to accomplish it is uncomfortable seats.

To sumarize that somewhat drifting paragraph:
Restaurants wanting to maximize profits? Fine.
Restaurants wanting tables to turn? Also fine.
Restaurants sinking to the level of McDonald's? Absolutely not fine, and not something I've ever seen at another good restaurant in my life.

Despite enjoying dining out and having worked in the industry, I have very little respect for the way it operates as a whole. Maybe if every single owner didn't loudly proclaim their deep passion for the dining experience and love of their customers, I'd be less annoyed over this particular issue.
 
2021-10-23 2:56:09 PM  

thealgorerhythm: Now I want a Patrick Swayze themed restaurant. But what would it serve?


Ghost pepper something.
 
2021-10-23 3:06:41 PM  
Just a wild guess here, but I'm thinking that Chuck is fond of green.
 
2021-10-23 3:14:41 PM  

Gordon Bennett: I like that the default text in the copyright notice is still there.

[Fark user image 469x75]


Came here to mock the site, leaving happily. There's nothing I can say about it that it already isn't saying about itself.
 
2021-10-23 3:19:12 PM  
The Catering tab is just... uninspiring.
The Contact Us tab is a travesty - I mean, "NOrco?".
The My Dream Restaurant tab just says "planning for failure."

The links to Facebook, Twitter? Wix.
The link to Instagram? That actually works.
That implies that the person who constructed this nightmare didn't absent-mindedly forget... they just didn't give a shiat.

How did this get greenlit? Please tell me that this isn't a Farker.
 
2021-10-23 3:23:41 PM  
...and that Instagram link is also broken. FFS.
 
2021-10-23 3:27:29 PM  

Stephen_Falken: Drive thru Norco, CA and it will all make sense.


It's in a strip mall. It replaced a restaurant called Little Saigon, it would appear, a hole-in-the-wall place tucked between a locksmith and a cobbler.

I almost feel bad ragging on the website - the place itself actually has a bit of character. Whoever runs the restaurant should talk to someone about improving the website, as the food looks... intriguing.
 
2021-10-23 3:29:20 PM  
Behold the Mother Clucker.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 3:49:19 PM  
Steve Jobs started Apple in his garage. I started my restaurant in my Dining room as a prototype. Will I be a success like Steve Jobs and Apple?

pfft hahahahah
 
2021-10-23 4:27:42 PM  

Axeofjudgement: 151: Smackledorfer: iamskibibitz: fasahd: Dream restaurant; Does this look like a nightmare or is it just me.
[static.wixstatic.com image 569x319]

Super popular restaurants can be garish so you finish your food and get the fark out, which results in quicker table turns. This certainly fits that bill.

/glad to see this guy aiming big

I read McDonald's designed their booths that way: comfy for a bit then horrible.

I sat on the patio of a place last week on the waterfront, and I immediately thought their chairs were designed the same way. To purposely force table turn and make it uncomfortable to lounge out there.

As a person who dines out as much to relax as to eat, that shiat offends me. Let me drink my beer, share an appetizer, drink my beer, maybe a third beer, and then converse a while as I slowly eat my dinner. If I wanted fast food I'd have gotten fast food.

I 100% get your point of view, and respect it. But you're the type of person most restaurants in America hate. It's all about flipping the table for Max profits.

Neither one of you are wrong.

Almost up there with a table full of highschoolers drinking water on All you can eat wing night.


earlier this week, we were in the back dining room of one of the usual locales - small, quiet, almost no-one knows to ask for a table there.

ennahoo, as we were eating the staff came and started pushing tables together. turned out it was for a group of about 14-17 high school kids. at first I felt super bad for the waitress, but then recalled at least the bar mandates 18% for a group that size.

/still, they all ordered water
//maybe 2 root beers
///and 1 birch beer, have to respect that kid!
 
2021-10-23 4:29:14 PM  
also, isn't he still some sort of religious-nutjob/bigot, and at one point seriously believed that the "chuck norris facts" were literal truth?
 
2021-10-23 4:35:28 PM  

FormlessOne: The Catering tab is just... uninspiring.
The Contact Us tab is a travesty - I mean, "NOrco?".
The My Dream Restaurant tab just says "planning for failure."

The links to Facebook, Twitter? Wix.
The link to Instagram? That actually works.
That implies that the person who constructed this nightmare didn't absent-mindedly forget... they just didn't give a shiat.

How did this get greenlit? Please tell me that this isn't a Farker.


This is Fark, and it's something that's kind of a trainwreck.  It seems self-explanatory
 
2021-10-23 5:02:21 PM  

Some Junkie Cosmonaut: FormlessOne: The Catering tab is just... uninspiring.
The Contact Us tab is a travesty - I mean, "NOrco?".
The My Dream Restaurant tab just says "planning for failure."

The links to Facebook, Twitter? Wix.
The link to Instagram? That actually works.
That implies that the person who constructed this nightmare didn't absent-mindedly forget... they just didn't give a shiat.

How did this get greenlit? Please tell me that this isn't a Farker.

This is Fark, and it's something that's kind of a trainwreck.  It seems self-explanatory


Yeah, and I had to revise my opinion a bit as well, after spending more time investigating the restaurant itself. I wish we had more places like this, TBH. Small restaurants, meant to give a couple of folks income & occupation while providing cheap, or weird, or cheap & weird, food to the locals.

I think I'm getting a little too cynical & hostile, lately.
 
2021-10-23 5:03:59 PM  
Chick Norris made a 90s website, and I thought it was the most beautiful website I've ever seen.

Chick Norris doesn't post from 2023, Chick Norris is so far ahead of us it's 2023 for them.

Chick Norris kills your food with their bare hands and heats it with their own body heat.

Chick Norris has only two exports, Chicken and Websites.

There is no such thing as extinction, only animals that Chick Norris hasn't cooked as food.

Chick Norris can fry a perfect sunny-side up egg without covering the pan.

Chick Norris can thicken soup with just flour.

Chick Norris can reheat food in a skillet faster that you can reheat it in a microwave.

Chick Norris doesn't bother to set Jello, they just threaten it and it freezes up on its own.

Chick Norris can cook a tender brisket on a skillet.
 
2021-10-23 5:19:24 PM  

FormlessOne: Some Junkie Cosmonaut: FormlessOne: The Catering tab is just... uninspiring.
The Contact Us tab is a travesty - I mean, "NOrco?".
The My Dream Restaurant tab just says "planning for failure."

The links to Facebook, Twitter? Wix.
The link to Instagram? That actually works.
That implies that the person who constructed this nightmare didn't absent-mindedly forget... they just didn't give a shiat.

How did this get greenlit? Please tell me that this isn't a Farker.

This is Fark, and it's something that's kind of a trainwreck.  It seems self-explanatory

Yeah, and I had to revise my opinion a bit as well, after spending more time investigating the restaurant itself. I wish we had more places like this, TBH. Small restaurants, meant to give a couple of folks income & occupation while providing cheap, or weird, or cheap & weird, food to the locals.

I think I'm getting a little too cynical & hostile, lately.


Shhh shh - they'll take away your Fark union card
 
2021-10-23 5:32:39 PM  
How soon do they get the C&D letter?
 
2021-10-23 6:22:55 PM  

Chimpy McSquirrel: I'm disappointed there was no roundhouse kick something on the menu.



For that you need to go to a

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 6:45:46 PM  
That's a timely meme. What's next, Betty White's House of Bacon Bacon Bacon?
 
2021-10-23 6:48:10 PM  

duckpoopy: That's a timely meme. What's next, Betty White's House of Bacon Bacon Bacon?


hells, I'd go there

/altho' I heard her thing is mainly vodak and hotdogs
 
2021-10-23 8:59:07 PM  

thealgorerhythm: ltdanman44: those chicken balls look delicious

That's what she said


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 9:05:45 PM  

fasahd: Dream restaurant; Does this look like a nightmare or is it just me.
[static.wixstatic.com image 569x319]


I thought it looked good.  The website is also green.  I think that someone likes green.  Other than that I thought that restaurant looked groovy.
 
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