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(The Onion)   The Onion never misses. Satire tag barely even applicable anymore   (theonion.com) divider line
    More: Satire, Nancy Pelosi, United States, Joe Biden, Democratic Party, Steny Hoyer, United States Congress, United States Senate, House Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi  
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4995 clicks; posted to Politics » on 23 Oct 2021 at 8:30 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



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2021-10-23 7:18:44 AM  
ouch, that is very on point.
 
2021-10-23 8:33:07 AM  
It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.
 
2021-10-23 8:38:22 AM  
*looks at inbox*

Yep.
 
2021-10-23 8:39:05 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.


Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.
 
2021-10-23 8:41:31 AM  
At press time, the fundraising email had faltered after Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV) expressed serious concerns about the subject line.

That asshole screws everything up!
 
2021-10-23 8:41:34 AM  
Fark insists that all headlines from The Onion be tagged as satire when they've not really been that for years. Reality got ahead of them so they are now sarcastic at best. A lot of their headlines should be labeled as obvious.
 
2021-10-23 8:45:36 AM  
Democratic MAGA cap, as seen on Our Cartoon President in 2018...

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 8:46:29 AM  
Problem with a big tent coalition...
Big tent divisions.

That's why Republicans went the clone route.
 
2021-10-23 8:47:10 AM  

NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.


No evidence of that whatsoever.
 
2021-10-23 8:48:32 AM  

NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.


Under Republicans: Corruption and oligarchy flourish, working- and middle-class people suffer and are exploited
Under Democrats: Corruption and oligarchy flourish, working- and middle-class people suffer and are exploited

You: Still better because this time it's blue-colored!
 
2021-10-23 8:48:33 AM  
I still believe that the Dems should either stick to their guns by going for the original 3.5 trillion bill (which is an amount that will be spent over years, so amounts to bearable spending), or let Sinema and Manchin tank the bill. Then the Dems can constantly blame both of them. Also, let Manchin go to the Republicans instead of playing their spoiler.
 
2021-10-23 8:48:36 AM  

NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.


Yeah, it's comforting to think that Democrats don't do anything because they're lazy/weak. That's a much more palatable view than the reality that government doesn't work because it's impossible for it to work when the GOP is actively sabotaging it. It makes it seem like something could be done if we just got mad enough instead of thinking that Republicans are going full fascist and you can't talk them out of it until they murder a bunch of people.
 
2021-10-23 8:50:14 AM  

bluejeansonfire: NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.

No evidence of that whatsoever.


Texas
 
2021-10-23 8:51:28 AM  

skinink: I still believe that the Dems should either stick to their guns by going for the original 3.5 trillion bill (which is an amount that will be spent over years, so amounts to bearable spending), or let Sinema and Manchin tank the bill. Then the Dems can constantly blame both of them. Also, let Manchin go to the Republicans instead of playing their spoiler.


Too late. Biden has already stabbed progressives in the back (again) to cater to Manchin and starve the bill further.

They're going to pass a homeopathic bill that screws over progressives AND working-class America, and Biden and ConservaDems will beat their chests and smirk smugly as if they accomplished something.
 
2021-10-23 8:51:55 AM  

bluejeansonfire: NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.

Under Republicans: Corruption and oligarchy flourish, working- and middle-class people suffer and are exploited
Under Democrats: Corruption and oligarchy flourish, working- and middle-class people suffer and are exploited

You: Still better because this time it's blue-colored!


Not that I know you, of course, but that sounded like it came from someone that only recognizes things that affect white, straight, Christian males.
 
2021-10-23 8:59:54 AM  

RasIanI: Democratic MAGA cap, as seen on Our Cartoon President in 2018...

[Fark user image 300x300]


I always thought it was a mistake to end Our Cartoon President when Trump was voted out. It's not like everything went back to normal and, as they've shown, the Democrats aren't exactly slacking on providing fodder.
 
2021-10-23 9:04:35 AM  

NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.


Yep. "Your dog isn't very tough and doesn't do much to protect you." "No, not really. But yours bites you."
 
2021-10-23 9:09:18 AM  

bluejeansonfire: NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.

Under Republicans: Corruption and oligarchy flourish, working- and middle-class people suffer and are exploited
Under Democrats: Corruption and oligarchy flourish, working- and middle-class people suffer and are exploited

You: Still better because this time it's blue-colored!


As if it matter what color the flavor-aid is.
 
2021-10-23 9:11:46 AM  

odinsposse: NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.

Yeah, it's comforting to think that Democrats don't do anything because they're lazy/weak. That's a much more palatable view than the reality that government doesn't work because it's impossible for it to work when the GOP is actively sabotaging it. It makes it seem like something could be done if we just got mad enough instead of thinking that Republicans are going full fascist and you can't talk them out of it until they murder a bunch of people.


Maybe it would help if the Democrats in power started treating Republicans that way, instead of calling them our "friends across the aisle" and talking about how they want the Republicans to be strong and powerful while endlessly touting the virtue of bipartisanship.

If the Republicans are full fascist, the Democrats are vishy collaborators.
 
2021-10-23 9:12:59 AM  
\(And before someone tries to crawl up my butt about it)
\\(yes, I spelled it that way on purpose, as a sign of disrespect, the same way I never capitalize nazi)
 
2021-10-23 9:15:19 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.


To be fair, I'd rather have Democrats achieving nothing than Republicans achieving anything.
 
2021-10-23 9:16:19 AM  

KingOfTown: bluejeansonfire: NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.

Under Republicans: Corruption and oligarchy flourish, working- and middle-class people suffer and are exploited
Under Democrats: Corruption and oligarchy flourish, working- and middle-class people suffer and are exploited

You: Still better because this time it's blue-colored!

Not that I know you, of course, but that sounded like it came from someone that only recognizes things that affect white, straight, Christian males.


You definitely don't know me.
 
2021-10-23 9:17:33 AM  

josephstalin: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

To be fair, I'd rather have Democrats achieving nothing than Republicans achieving anything.


The results are the same.
 
2021-10-23 9:18:31 AM  
Republicans: a mostly single voting bloc of white "christians". Their strength is unity and rural communities. Their weakness is most are single issue voters (abortion, guns, taxes, etc)

Democrats: a diverse, multicultural umbrella of disparate interests. Their strength is numbers but it's mostly in cities. Their weakness is there are too many voices clamoring for too many issues and too many intellectual debates. They can't unite for a single issue.

TL;Dr

Republicans are the jerk husband that you can't afford to leave, and Democrats are the weak husband that can't say no to anyone.
 
2021-10-23 9:19:04 AM  
Who would actually be motivated to donate after this fracas?
 
2021-10-23 9:21:02 AM  

PlaidJaguar: odinsposse: NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.

Yeah, it's comforting to think that Democrats don't do anything because they're lazy/weak. That's a much more palatable view than the reality that government doesn't work because it's impossible for it to work when the GOP is actively sabotaging it. It makes it seem like something could be done if we just got mad enough instead of thinking that Republicans are going full fascist and you can't talk them out of it until they murder a bunch of people.

Maybe it would help if the Democrats in power started treating Republicans that way, instead of calling them our "friends across the aisle" and talking about how they want the Republicans to be strong and powerful while endlessly touting the virtue of bipartisanship.

If the Republicans are full fascist, the Democrats are vishy collaborators.


Nope. Let's make this explicit. The US government does not work without the cooperation of both parties. The Democrats are acting as if they can work with Republicans because that's the only way to have a functional government. Democrats going their own way and trying to cut Republicans out will not work. That is the end of America. Because if they end the filibuster, pack the court, and add PR as a state Republicans will get into power again and use all of that to install a theocracy. The Republicans are failing to hold up their end of the deal in having a functional government. It's like a failing marriage. One partner can't do all of the work to keep the relationship together. They both have to put work in or it doesn't work. Blaming one person for not doing the work for both is just incorrect.
 
2021-10-23 9:22:32 AM  
Who keeps linking to The Onion?
They became a right wing rag a while ago.
It is nothing but right wing trolls saying both sides are bad.
The Democrats are a big tent party and Manchin is the deciding vote , if he wants "Mitch McConnell is working for you" as the subject line, then do it. At least Manchin is helping us get the email out while the progressives are trying to block the email by insisting Climate Change is discussed.
 
2021-10-23 9:22:56 AM  

bluejeansonfire: NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.

Under Republicans: Corruption and oligarchy flourish, working- and middle-class people suffer and are exploited
Under Democrats: Corruption and oligarchy flourish, working- and middle-class people suffer and are exploited

You: Still better because this time it's blue-colored!


Please, you wouldn't settle for anything less than this guy.
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 9:23:57 AM  

sinner4ever: Who keeps linking to The Onion?
They became a right wing rag a while ago.
It is nothing but right wing trolls saying both sides are bad.
The Democrats are a big tent party and Manchin is the deciding vote , if he wants "Mitch McConnell is working for you" as the subject line, then do it. At least Manchin is helping us get the email out while the progressives are trying to block the email by insisting Climate Change is discussed.


.... Are you logged in under the wrong account, or is this a parody of Fark's Boomer-ass sensibilities that flew under my radar ?
 
2021-10-23 9:25:20 AM  

Latinwolf: bluejeansonfire: NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.

Under Republicans: Corruption and oligarchy flourish, working- and middle-class people suffer and are exploited
Under Democrats: Corruption and oligarchy flourish, working- and middle-class people suffer and are exploited

You: Still better because this time it's blue-colored!

Please, you wouldn't settle for anything less than this guy.
[Fark user image 300x168]


LOL. How original.

Calling me a communist just because I want living wages and universal healthcare doesn't exactly put you in the best company.

But keep licking that boot. One day you'll get to the tootsie roll in the middle.
 
2021-10-23 9:25:25 AM  

bluejeansonfire: sinner4ever: Who keeps linking to The Onion?
They became a right wing rag a while ago.
It is nothing but right wing trolls saying both sides are bad.
The Democrats are a big tent party and Manchin is the deciding vote , if he wants "Mitch McConnell is working for you" as the subject line, then do it. At least Manchin is helping us get the email out while the progressives are trying to block the email by insisting Climate Change is discussed.

.... Are you logged in under the wrong account, or is this a parody of Fark's Boomer-ass sensibilities that flew under my radar ?


I saw the satire tag and couldn't help it.
 
2021-10-23 9:26:04 AM  
STOP HITTING REPLY ALL YOU IDIOTs!
 
2021-10-23 9:27:01 AM  

sinner4ever: Who keeps linking to The Onion?
They became a right wing rag a while ago.


memegenerator.netView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 9:27:59 AM  

NeoCortex42: bluejeansonfire: NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.

No evidence of that whatsoever.

Texas

Kids still in the f*cking cages Pelosi shrugged and approved without a goddamn fight

 
2021-10-23 9:32:03 AM  
We just have to vote harder! We're not voting hard enough! VOTE!
 
2021-10-23 9:34:07 AM  

The Lone Gunman: RasIanI: Democratic MAGA cap, as seen on Our Cartoon President in 2018...

[Fark user image 300x300]

I always thought it was a mistake to end Our Cartoon President when Trump was voted out. It's not like everything went back to normal and, as they've shown, the Democrats aren't exactly slacking on providing fodder.


It was soooo f***ing funny 😄

...but Trump and his antics are less, and less funny -- and more and more menacing.
 
2021-10-23 9:37:44 AM  

bluejeansonfire: NeoCortex42: bluejeansonfire: NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.

No evidence of that whatsoever.

Texas

Kids still in the f*cking cages Pelosi shrugged and approved without a goddamn fight


I agree that Democrats could and should do more to improve things, but you'd have to be an idiot to think Republicans in charge would be the same level of bad. They have control in Texas and have already outlawed abortion and are currently working to outlaw same sex marriage.

Democrats may not move things forward as much as we'd like, but Republicans are actively trying to make things worse.
 
2021-10-23 9:49:58 AM  

bluejeansonfire: NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.

No evidence of that whatsoever.


The GOP wants to reverse every social and economic advance enacted in the last century. The Democrats may be feckless, but the GQP is pure farkin' evil.
 
2021-10-23 9:58:54 AM  

BorgiaGinz: bluejeansonfire: NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.

No evidence of that whatsoever.

The GOP wants to reverse every social and economic advance enacted in the last century. The Democrats may be feckless, but the GQP is pure farkin' evil.


They are complicit.
The Republicans pass hurtful policy then Democrats normalize it.
The ratchet effect.
That is why the majority of Trump's orders are in effect (including his immigration policies) and the Corporate infrastructure bill makes Trump's tax cuts permanent and doesn't address Trump's tax increases on the working class.
 
2021-10-23 10:01:30 AM  
I just heard on NPR that they are very close to a deal.  very close.

/
It's just a much smaller deal than it was
 
2021-10-23 10:08:25 AM  
People often post that Democrats need to compete in every election all the way down to local races, even in conservative areas.

I agree. But those races cost money.
 
2021-10-23 10:14:32 AM  

KingOfTown: Not that I know you, of course, but that sounded like it came from someone that only recognizes things that affect white, straight, Christian males.


Not that I know you, but with what is going on Texas, the whole country is going eat a big bag of fark Around and Find Out thanks to Republican evil and Democrat corporate protection. It's going to be terrible for everyone that isn't a conservative, straight, white male.
 
2021-10-23 10:40:48 AM  

bluejeansonfire: NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.

Under Republicans: Corruption and oligarchy flourish, working- and middle-class people suffer and are exploited
Under Democrats: Corruption and oligarchy flourish, working- and middle-class people suffer and are exploited

You: Still better because this time it's blue-colored!


Everyone remember when Biden was enthusiastically encouraging the Russians to interfere in the election process?

Or how Biden appointed completely incompetent people and family members to key position simply because  he felt they were loyal of had donated cash to him?

Or when he had his son steal money from his own charity for his personal use?

Or when Biden insulted veterans and Gold Star families on a regular basis.

Or when Biden gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to a Junkie Radio host just because he "said nice things about me".

Or when Biden cut off emergency funding to Puerto Rico after a disastrous hurricane because they "didn't say nice things about me".

Or the time Biden paid off a Porn Star for her silence and then lied about it?  Repeatedly.

Or how Biden enriched himself by funneling campaign money into his own pocket"

Yeah... me neither.
 
2021-10-23 10:41:06 AM  

bluejeansonfire: The results are the same.


BOTH SIDES ARE BAD!
 
2021-10-23 10:45:13 AM  

sinner4ever: They are complicit.


BOTH SIDES ARE BAD!
 
2021-10-23 10:51:37 AM  

josephstalin: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

To be fair, I'd rather have Democrats achieving nothing than Republicans achieving anything.


I've said the only difference between Democrats and Republicans is dynamics: Democrats don't do anything and Republicans do nothing.

Of course, it's a gross oversimplification, since Democrats have, far and away, vastly superior policies that Third Way Dems just don't seem to think that we're ready for. The sooner we get these fossils out of there, the more we can implement a new New Deal, which Republicans only hate because it makes Democrats look good.
 
2021-10-23 10:54:41 AM  

Without Fail: bluejeansonfire: The results are the same.

BOTH SIDES ARE BAD!


One side works for the rich passing tax cuts, refusing to make the rich pay their fair share, Killing a $15 minimum wage, Refusing to help Americans get educated without overwhelming debt, considers a heritage foundation health care plan, that doesn't include the working class, as a good thing. They have kids in cages ,in favor of using slaves overseas for American company profits and want to sell roads we already paid for to monopolistic corporations to charge us a fee every time we use them.

Wait ,which party has passed laws that help the poor and working class more? Didn't Trump and the Republicans give out $2000 with no means testing for stimulus?

At least Democrats are protecting our voting rights. Oh, wait.
 
2021-10-23 10:54:41 AM  
Ouch.
Their point was very pointy and sharp.
And honestly it was too on point for me to even enjoy as satire.
 
2021-10-23 10:55:21 AM  

NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.


Yep, and how completely and utterly f*cked is that?
 
2021-10-23 11:00:19 AM  

John the Magnificent: bluejeansonfire: NeoCortex42: Tyrone Slothrop: It's important to give money to Democrats so that they can get out the vote to win elections and then not accomplish anything due to Republicans and self-sabotage.

Which is still a ton better than Republicans being directly in charge.

Under Republicans: Corruption and oligarchy flourish, working- and middle-class people suffer and are exploited
Under Democrats: Corruption and oligarchy flourish, working- and middle-class people suffer and are exploited

You: Still better because this time it's blue-colored!

Everyone remember when Biden was enthusiastically encouraging the Russians to interfere in the election process?

Or how Biden appointed completely incompetent people and family members to key position simply because  he felt they were loyal of had donated cash to him?

Or when he had his son steal money from his own charity for his personal use?

Or when Biden insulted veterans and Gold Star families on a regular basis.

Or when Biden gave the Presidential Medal of Freedom to a Junkie Radio host just because he "said nice things about me".

Or when Biden cut off emergency funding to Puerto Rico after a disastrous hurricane because they "didn't say nice things about me".

Or the time Biden paid off a Porn Star for her silence and then lied about it?  Repeatedly.

Or how Biden enriched himself by funneling campaign money into his own pocket"

Yeah... me neither.


A very long trans rights / Chapelle thread got deleted yesterday.

People who think the Democrats are the same as the Republicans don't care about LGBT rights, reproductive rights, or many, many other rights.
 
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