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(ABC News)   Poacher unable to ignore the elephant in the room   (abcnews.go.com) divider line
    More: Spiffy, South Africa, Kruger National Park, South African National Parks, Lion, Hunting, South African national park, rhino poaching, Stolznek section of the giant game reserve  
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3232 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Oct 2021 at 1:05 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



53 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


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2021-10-22 9:40:28 PM  
What's purple and squishy and found between elephants' toes?
 
2021-10-23 12:20:37 AM  
Good for the Elephants! I guess the Elephants are doing their own security now. Elephants - 1/Poachers -0.
 
2021-10-23 1:10:31 AM  

OK So Amuse Me: Good for the Elephants! I guess the Elephants are doing their own security now. Elephants - 1/Poachers -0.


More like:
Elephants: 1   Poachers: 35,000/year


Although still a better deal than Sharks get:

Humans killed by sharks: 6-10 / year
Sharks killed by humans: about 100,000,000 / year
 
2021-10-23 1:13:19 AM  
Jeez can you imagine how much boiling water you need to properly poach an elephant?
 
2021-10-23 1:13:46 AM  
Poachers should be legally allowed to poach and keep the prize as long as they kill the elephant/rhino/lion in hand to hand combat. Or hand to paw. Or whatever. Just no weapons.
 
2021-10-23 1:14:26 AM  

Excelsior: OK So Amuse Me: Good for the Elephants! I guess the Elephants are doing their own security now. Elephants - 1/Poachers -0.

More like:
Elephants: 1   Poachers: 35,000/year


Although still a better deal than Sharks get:

Humans killed by sharks: 6-10 / year
Sharks killed by humans: about 100,000,000 / year


Well, it's a start. Hopefully, they will get some better stats!
 
2021-10-23 1:14:47 AM  

jaivirtualcard: Poachers should be legally allowed to poach and keep the prize as long as they kill the elephant/rhino/lion in hand to hand combat. Or hand to paw. Or whatever. Just no weapons.


Sucks to be a small & cuddly endangered animal under your plan, then.
 
2021-10-23 1:15:33 AM  

Texas Gabe: Jeez can you imagine how much boiling water you need to properly poach an elephant?


I rolled my eyes but I did giggle a bit.
 
2021-10-23 1:15:48 AM  

OK So Amuse Me: Excelsior: OK So Amuse Me: Good for the Elephants! I guess the Elephants are doing their own security now. Elephants - 1/Poachers -0.

More like:
Elephants: 1   Poachers: 35,000/year


Although still a better deal than Sharks get:

Humans killed by sharks: 6-10 / year
Sharks killed by humans: about 100,000,000 / year

Well, it's a start. Hopefully, they will get some better stats!


Last year a hunter got crushed under an elephant he shot point-blank, so I guess it's 2:70,000 now.
 
2021-10-23 1:17:32 AM  
I met a guy a few years ago who was one of the "Park rangers" there. They go out in heavily armed military-style patrols and regularly get in fire fights with the poachers. It's really a war, and they're doing what a lot of us say we'd like to do to the bastards.
 
2021-10-23 1:18:58 AM  

OK So Amuse Me: Texas Gabe: Jeez can you imagine how much boiling water you need to properly poach an elephant?

I rolled my eyes but I did giggle a bit.


OK so I amused you.
 
2021-10-23 1:19:35 AM  

Excelsior: OK So Amuse Me: Good for the Elephants! I guess the Elephants are doing their own security now. Elephants - 1/Poachers -0.

More like:
Elephants: 1   Poachers: 35,000/year


Although still a better deal than Sharks get:

Humans killed by sharks: 6-10 / year
Sharks killed by humans: about 100,000,000 / year


Holy crapshoot. That's insane. For both of em. (Not the humans but I guess that's clear)
 
2021-10-23 1:21:03 AM  

Excelsior: jaivirtualcard: Poachers should be legally allowed to poach and keep the prize as long as they kill the elephant/rhino/lion in hand to hand combat. Or hand to paw. Or whatever. Just no weapons.

Sucks to be a small & cuddly endangered animal under your plan, then.


Hence I only mentioned 3 animals.
 
2021-10-23 1:23:45 AM  
I hope he felt the life being stomped out of him for a while and that it hurt the whole time.

F*ck poachers.
 
2021-10-23 1:31:00 AM  
Sounds like a good place to train snipers.
 
2021-10-23 1:31:53 AM  

jjorsett: Sounds like a good place to train snipers.


To kill more animals? You are not helping.

/I keed
 
2021-10-23 1:33:11 AM  
His family must be so sad. Anyway,
 
2021-10-23 1:37:23 AM  

Excelsior: OK So Amuse Me: Excelsior: OK So Amuse Me: Good for the Elephants! I guess the Elephants are doing their own security now. Elephants - 1/Poachers -0.

More like:
Elephants: 1   Poachers: 35,000/year


Although still a better deal than Sharks get:

Humans killed by sharks: 6-10 / year
Sharks killed by humans: about 100,000,000 / year

Well, it's a start. Hopefully, they will get some better stats!

Last year a hunter got crushed under an elephant he shot point-blank, so I guess it's 2:70,000 now.


I remember that, I believe we had a thread on it, no idea if I posted in it, I've slept since then. I hope it becomes a rising trend because it sure looks like we aren't able to protect them if those numbers are right.
 
2021-10-23 1:40:20 AM  
The murder weapon is in the trunk.
 
2021-10-23 1:47:17 AM  

Excelsior: OK So Amuse Me: Good for the Elephants! I guess the Elephants are doing their own security now. Elephants - 1/Poachers -0.

More like:
Elephants: 1   Poachers: 35,000/year


Although still a better deal than Sharks get:

Humans killed by sharks: 6-10 / year
Sharks killed by humans: about 100,000,000 / year


They should hand out AK-47s to the elephants.

And friggin lasers to the sharks
 
2021-10-23 1:50:06 AM  

Excelsior: OK So Amuse Me: Excelsior: OK So Amuse Me: Good for the Elephants! I guess the Elephants are doing their own security now. Elephants - 1/Poachers -0.

More like:
Elephants: 1   Poachers: 35,000/year


Although still a better deal than Sharks get:

Humans killed by sharks: 6-10 / year
Sharks killed by humans: about 100,000,000 / year

Well, it's a start. Hopefully, they will get some better stats!

Last year a hunter got crushed under an elephant he shot point-blank, so I guess it's 2:70,000 now.


I am sure that was horrifically sad for family, but it still sounds like a Gary Larson cartoon.
 
2021-10-23 1:54:29 AM  

Excelsior: OK So Amuse Me: Excelsior: OK So Amuse Me: Good for the Elephants! I guess the Elephants are doing their own security now. Elephants - 1/Poachers -0.

More like:
Elephants: 1   Poachers: 35,000/year


Although still a better deal than Sharks get:

Humans killed by sharks: 6-10 / year
Sharks killed by humans: about 100,000,000 / year

Well, it's a start. Hopefully, they will get some better stats!

Last year a hunter got crushed under an elephant he shot point-blank, so I guess it's 2:70,000 now.


2:70,000 is still 1:35,000.
 
2021-10-23 1:57:18 AM  

Texas Gabe: Jeez can you imagine how much boiling water you need to properly poach an elephant?


More than water for two hippos at least


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 1:57:48 AM  
'The identity hasn't yet been released.'

There was always that weirdo in high school- exactly the kind of thing they'd want to do, and just like then, they'd somehow F it up.  Wonder if it's them.
 
2021-10-23 2:06:50 AM  

Raoul Eaton: Excelsior: OK So Amuse Me: Excelsior: OK So Amuse Me: Good for the Elephants! I guess the Elephants are doing their own security now. Elephants - 1/Poachers -0.

More like:
Elephants: 1   Poachers: 35,000/year


Although still a better deal than Sharks get:

Humans killed by sharks: 6-10 / year
Sharks killed by humans: about 100,000,000 / year

Well, it's a start. Hopefully, they will get some better stats!

Last year a hunter got crushed under an elephant he shot point-blank, so I guess it's 2:70,000 now.

I am sure that was horrifically sad for family, but it still sounds like a Gary Larson cartoon.


The family deserves the same fate, but w/ a bulldozer, starting w/ the poacher's parents.
 
2021-10-23 2:11:22 AM  

ThePea: Raoul Eaton: Excelsior: OK So Amuse Me: Excelsior: OK So Amuse Me: Good for the Elephants! I guess the Elephants are doing their own security now. Elephants - 1/Poachers -0.

More like:
Elephants: 1   Poachers: 35,000/year


Although still a better deal than Sharks get:

Humans killed by sharks: 6-10 / year
Sharks killed by humans: about 100,000,000 / year

Well, it's a start. Hopefully, they will get some better stats!

Last year a hunter got crushed under an elephant he shot point-blank, so I guess it's 2:70,000 now.

I am sure that was horrifically sad for family, but it still sounds like a Gary Larson cartoon.

The family deserves the same fate, but w/ a bulldozer, starting w/ the poacher's parents.


Who new Bibi Netanyahu was a FARKER?
 
2021-10-23 2:18:59 AM  
NEVER FORGET
 
2021-10-23 2:19:54 AM  

Raoul Eaton: Excelsior: OK So Amuse Me: Good for the Elephants! I guess the Elephants are doing their own security now. Elephants - 1/Poachers -0.

More like:
Elephants: 1   Poachers: 35,000/year


Although still a better deal than Sharks get:

Humans killed by sharks: 6-10 / year
Sharks killed by humans: about 100,000,000 / year

They should hand out AK-47s to the elephants.

And friggin lasers to the sharks


That might not end well. . .
Fark user imageView Full Size

/Poachers vs Fifthp "Oh shiat they shoot back!"
 
2021-10-23 2:27:43 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size


Was it one of these guys?
 
2021-10-23 3:22:28 AM  
Good. Hope it was painful and the body was left in an unpresentable state.
 
2021-10-23 3:26:26 AM  
The telltale trunk by Edgar Allan poacher?
 
2021-10-23 3:58:29 AM  

Texas Gabe: OK So Amuse Me: Texas Gabe: Jeez can you imagine how much boiling water you need to properly poach an elephant?

I rolled my eyes but I did giggle a bit.

OK so I amused you.


I don't know about him, but I laughed.
 
2021-10-23 4:31:12 AM  

jjorsett: Sounds like a good place to train snipers.


Kenya's already been doing so:  https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-355​0​3077
 
2021-10-23 4:38:11 AM  

Kalashinator: jjorsett: Sounds like a good place to train snipers.

Kenya's already been doing so:  https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-3550​3077


That story warmed my otherwise frozen heart.

"Technically we do have to offer them the opportunity to surrender," he adds, "but this tends to happen after they've been, er, incapacitated."
 
2021-10-23 4:47:32 AM  

Moose out front: Good. Hope it was painful and the body was left in an unpresentable state.


And now let's hear from the game wardens

th.bing.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 6:18:14 AM  

maxandgrinch: 'The identity hasn't yet been released.'


Probably pending DNA results, so they can figure out who that mass of red pulp really was.
 
2021-10-23 6:26:15 AM  
direct your hate to the market for elephant parts- i feel the same visceral rage toward poachers as everyone, but they wouldn't do it if it didn't pay.  it's illegal and dangerous.  meanwhile the end consumer is some trash brazillionaire with a fleet of bespoke Bugatti with ivory inlaid dashboards and no concept of empathy.  those are the ones who need to be rounded up and vivisected for clues on how to prevent more of their kind from being born.
 
2021-10-23 6:40:48 AM  

Excelsior: jaivirtualcard: Poachers should be legally allowed to poach and keep the prize as long as they kill the elephant/rhino/lion in hand to hand combat. Or hand to paw. Or whatever. Just no weapons.

Sucks to be a small & cuddly endangered animal under your plan, then.


At least Koalas will likely give them chlamydia in that hand to hand combat.
 
2021-10-23 7:51:34 AM  

rainbowbutter: direct your hate to the market for elephant parts- i feel the same visceral rage toward poachers as everyone, but they wouldn't do it if it didn't pay.  it's illegal and dangerous.  meanwhile the end consumer is some trash brazillionaire with a fleet of bespoke Bugatti with ivory inlaid dashboards and no concept of empathy.  those are the ones who need to be rounded up and vivisected for clues on how to prevent more of their kind from being born.


And that market is largely The Peoples Republic of China.
 
2021-10-23 8:17:56 AM  
NelsonMutz.jpg
 
2021-10-23 8:18:52 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 8:19:53 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 8:52:53 AM  

Texas Gabe: Jeez can you imagine how much boiling water you need to properly poach an elephant?


How do you know when it's done? Does it float to the top? Asking for a friend.
 
2021-10-23 9:38:43 AM  
Was he in his pajamas?
 
2021-10-23 9:59:06 AM  

rainbowbutter: direct your hate to the market for elephant parts- i feel the same visceral rage toward poachers as everyone, but they wouldn't do it if it didn't pay.  it's illegal and dangerous.  meanwhile the end consumer is some trash brazillionaire with a fleet of bespoke Bugatti with ivory inlaid dashboards and no concept of empathy.  those are the ones who need to be rounded up and vivisected for clues on how to prevent more of their kind from being born.


Yeah, I saw this on Reddit just before I came here and some of the top comments were about how the poachers were mostly desperate abysmally poor people, and that the real bad guys here were people who bought the final goods.

I'm sure the final buyers don't know or care what they're doing, and tell themselves that they didn't do the actual killing. Assuming that they care enough to mentally justify it.
 
2021-10-23 11:05:49 AM  

jaivirtualcard: Poachers should be legally allowed to poach and keep the prize as long as they kill the elephant/rhino/lion in hand to hand combat. Or hand to paw. Or whatever. Just no weapons.


Humans used to hunt megafauna by simply following the animal until it passed out from exhaustion. That's why there are no megafauna left.

For your proposal to be remotely fair it would need to be a cage match.
 
2021-10-23 12:07:01 PM  
Well, they should stuff him with taxidermy and let the elephant display their proud kill in their natural habitat.

/Fark poachers
 
2021-10-23 12:32:58 PM  

Texas Gabe: OK So Amuse Me: Texas Gabe: Jeez can you imagine how much boiling water you need to properly poach an elephant?

I rolled my eyes but I did giggle a bit.

OK so I amused you.


Yes, yes you did! :D
 
2021-10-23 12:34:50 PM  

Boojum2k: Raoul Eaton: Excelsior: OK So Amuse Me: Good for the Elephants! I guess the Elephants are doing their own security now. Elephants - 1/Poachers -0.

More like:
Elephants: 1   Poachers: 35,000/year


Although still a better deal than Sharks get:

Humans killed by sharks: 6-10 / year
Sharks killed by humans: about 100,000,000 / year

They should hand out AK-47s to the elephants.

And friggin lasers to the sharks

That might not end well. . .
[Fark user image 200x309]
/Poachers vs Fifthp "Oh shiat they shoot back!"


I had that book, it was fun!
 
2021-10-23 1:17:57 PM  
lh3.googleusercontent.comView Full Size
 
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