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(MassLive)   The Energizer thief who just kept stealing and stealing narrowly avoids a Duracell and gets only probation   (masslive.com) divider line
    More: Strange, Springfield, Massachusetts, Springfield, Massachusetts metropolitan area, Big Y stores, Hampden County, Massachusetts, Massachusetts, Worcester County, Brian Caldwell, Norfolk County  
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1724 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Oct 2021 at 12:05 AM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



32 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-10-22 9:45:46 PM  
We're the charges dropped?
 
2021-10-22 11:24:13 PM  

YabbaDabbaDouchebag: We're the charges dropped?


Rapidly with little resistance.
 
2021-10-23 12:09:10 AM  

Richard Freckle: YabbaDabbaDouchebag: We're the charges dropped?

Rapidly with little resistance.


The thief was grounded?
 
2021-10-23 12:15:52 AM  
They didn't charge him for battery?
 
2021-10-23 12:18:34 AM  
This whole story is shocking.
 
2021-10-23 12:19:46 AM  
This was a Series of crimes in Parallel neighborhoods
 
2021-10-23 12:21:10 AM  
Could be positive or negative.
 
2021-10-23 12:24:27 AM  
Which plan did the thief go with? Plan AA, Plan AAA, Plan C, or Plan D?
 
2021-10-23 12:24:28 AM  
Ohm gonna need a little more juice before I'm positive he should be charged.
 
2021-10-23 12:24:50 AM  
His wife must be a AA. Well at least a AAA.
 
2021-10-23 12:25:31 AM  
Puns are bad

/goodnight
 
2021-10-23 12:26:39 AM  

Cafe Threads: Which plan did the thief go with? Plan AA, Plan AAA, Plan C, or Plan D?


His mom should have gone with Plan B
 
2021-10-23 12:27:18 AM  
"Over 16,000$ in batteries..."

But only 14,854.11 in restitution. Why the discrepancy? And the eleven cents?
 
2021-10-23 12:28:30 AM  

aagrajag: "Over 16,000$ in batteries..."

But only 14,854.11 in restitution. Why the discrepancy? And the eleven cents?


Batteries lost charge.
 
2021-10-23 12:32:50 AM  
Clearly he had the capacitance for thievery.
 
2021-10-23 12:46:06 AM  

Cafe Threads: Richard Freckle: YabbaDabbaDouchebag: We're the charges dropped?

Rapidly with little resistance.

The thief was grounded?


His wife Joules, was unhappy.
 
2021-10-23 12:49:51 AM  
In related news, you can steal $14,000 worth of batteries from this store before they start to notice.
 
2021-10-23 12:58:59 AM  
Big Y sounds like a sex position
 
2021-10-23 1:03:06 AM  
If they were Amazon Basics it would have only been a misdemeanor.  Those things are barely worth the packaging they're shipped in.
 
2021-10-23 1:08:53 AM  
When caught, did he try to Volt?
 
2021-10-23 1:15:00 AM  

kkinnison: When caught, did he try to Volt?


He couldn't start the Chevy Bolt
 
2021-10-23 1:59:33 AM  
Now that's a big vibrator.
 
2021-10-23 2:10:35 AM  

waxbeans: Now that's a big vibrator.


Takes one to know one.
 
2021-10-23 2:43:15 AM  
He had almost $2k of batteries in a single bag?! WTF kind of gold-plated, diamond encrusted, batteries are these? I bet you could clear out a whole Walmart and not get that much in batteries let alone fit them in one bag. I don't understand. Maybe those small coin cell lithium batteries but I've never seen $2k worth of them in one store.
 
2021-10-23 3:03:12 AM  
Hot Shots Part Deux-Keeps Going Scene
Youtube iE4OM8TE_jQ
 
2021-10-23 4:12:30 AM  

vodka: He had almost $2k of batteries in a single bag?! WTF kind of gold-plated, diamond encrusted, batteries are these? I bet you could clear out a whole Walmart and not get that much in batteries let alone fit them in one bag. I don't understand. Maybe those small coin cell lithium batteries but I've never seen $2k worth of them in one store.


It was a really big bag.
 
2021-10-23 6:22:32 AM  
There was no police chase, no shots exchanged, no coerced confession, not even a beat down?  What, is this a script for some kids' after school special?  You can't have crime without violence and retribution.  This is Murica.

Wait, what?  Other countries exist and have civilized systems for justice?  Ah hell no, we can't have that.

Fake news, fake news!  This story never happened, cause it's not on Facebook.
 
2021-10-23 7:05:55 AM  

vodka: He had almost $2k of batteries in a single bag?! WTF kind of gold-plated, diamond encrusted, batteries are these? I bet you could clear out a whole Walmart and not get that much in batteries let alone fit them in one bag. I don't understand. Maybe those small coin cell lithium batteries but I've never seen $2k worth of them in one store.


That's the 'street value'.
 
2021-10-23 7:47:43 AM  

vodka: He had almost $2k of batteries in a single bag?! WTF kind of gold-plated, diamond encrusted, batteries are these? I bet you could clear out a whole Walmart and not get that much in batteries let alone fit them in one bag. I don't understand. Maybe those small coin cell lithium batteries but I've never seen $2k worth of them in one store.


Cops think he's been stealing for years so they juiced him on this count,
because he's not rechargeable.
 
2021-10-23 8:21:40 AM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-23 9:52:53 AM  

jaivirtualcard: kkinnison: When caught, did he try to Volt?

He couldn't start the Chevy Bolt


Drove a Bolt. It was reliable but had the worst acceleration of anything I've driven, probably how he got caught by a 75 year old greater.
 
2021-10-23 9:54:58 AM  

cherryl taggart: There was no police chase, no shots exchanged, no coerced confession, not even a beat down?  What, is this a script for some kids' after school special?  You can't have crime without violence and retribution.  This is Murica.

Wait, what?  Other countries exist and have civilized systems for justice?  Ah hell no, we can't have that.

Fake news, fake news!  This story never happened, cause it's not on Facebook.


I'm assuming it's a white guy with an opioid problem and not a black guy with a crack problem.
 
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