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(Bothell-Kenmore Reporter)   "If you want a regular cocktail, go somewhere else," says bartender   (bothell-reporter.com) divider line
    More: Interesting, Bartender, Cocktail, mixologist Joe Dietrich, Agave, Distilled beverage, cocktail-centric affair, history of alcohol, Tequila  
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927 clicks; posted to Food » on 22 Oct 2021 at 1:20 PM (6 weeks ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook



50 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2021-10-22 12:35:10 PM  
Meanwhile at Specs in SF:

"If you couldn't order it 50 years ago, we're not going to make it"
 
2021-10-22 12:42:48 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-22 1:00:53 PM  
What if I want a cocktail that doesn't require a second mortgage
 
2021-10-22 1:31:23 PM  
Hand cut pieces of ice must be superior to regular ice cubes.
 
2021-10-22 1:35:50 PM  
I tried to RTFA but that site is a shiatshow on mobile. The text jumps up and down every few seconds.
 
2021-10-22 1:44:40 PM  
c.tenor.comView Full Size

i.imgur.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-22 1:49:25 PM  
Am I in the right place if I want a huuuuuuuuuuge cocktail?

c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-22 1:50:31 PM  
FTFA
"If someone wants a Tito's and soda, I will make them one," Dietrich conceded. "But it may have a hand-cut piece of ice in it."

oh. So what the headline really means is "if you want a cheap-o rail drink put together with zero care, go somewhere else."
 
2021-10-22 1:50:50 PM  
Drunks are adorable when they try to act pretentious.
 
2021-10-22 1:56:16 PM  
Here's a idea: have a handful of different bars to choose from when you want certain things. Don't go to a cocktail bar for a gin and tonic and don't go to the ultra-hip nü-cocktail bar with no menu for a Manhattan, and if all you want are easy-to-make things like G&Ts and Manhattans just make them at home. Stop going to the "pretentious hipster bars" and getting disappointed when you're confronted with pretentious hipsterdom. There's an audience for that shiat and you ain't it, just move on.
 
2021-10-22 1:57:01 PM  
Sounds like Joe Dietrich is going for ABOTY.  Hoity toity bars have mark up worse than movie theater popcorn and soda.

(arsehole bartender of the year)
 
2021-10-22 2:07:33 PM  
"If someone wants a Tito's and soda, I will make them one," Dietrich conceded. "But it may have a hand-cut piece of ice in it."

c.tenor.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-22 2:23:28 PM  
I will go somewhere else. Thanks.
 
2021-10-22 2:34:59 PM  

ImOscar: Here's a idea: have a handful of different bars to choose from when you want certain things. Don't go to a cocktail bar for a gin and tonic and don't go to the ultra-hip nü-cocktail bar with no menu for a Manhattan, and if all you want are easy-to-make things like G&Ts and Manhattans just make them at home. Stop going to the "pretentious hipster bars" and getting disappointed when you're confronted with pretentious hipsterdom. There's an audience for that shiat and you ain't it, just move on.


Look, dude I don't want a smoked poblano infused vodka with crème liqueur served in a hand folded banana leaf cup.  I just happened to be out with a few people and one guy who does want that shiat says it's his birthday so please just give me farking rum and coke while we buy him a few rounds of your midshelf booze with kitchen trimmings floating in them.
 
2021-10-22 2:36:23 PM  
Sure. I'll NOT go to your bar right after I DON'T go to the restaurant where the snooty chef won't make a steak the way I like it because it offends their culinary sensibilities.
 
2021-10-22 2:36:29 PM  
He realized a cocktail could be used to highlight alcoholic spirits that captured the terroir from the region they originated, and that by tasting these spirits, one was experiencing a product and a craft as old as civilization itself.


Wow. I mean I didnt think it was possible but god damn, thats how you sound more snotty and pretentious than a vegan crossfitter
 
2021-10-22 3:07:00 PM  
What a pretentious ass. And coming from me, that's saying something
 
2021-10-22 3:07:37 PM  

mike_d85: ImOscar: Here's a idea: have a handful of different bars to choose from when you want certain things. Don't go to a cocktail bar for a gin and tonic and don't go to the ultra-hip nü-cocktail bar with no menu for a Manhattan, and if all you want are easy-to-make things like G&Ts and Manhattans just make them at home. Stop going to the "pretentious hipster bars" and getting disappointed when you're confronted with pretentious hipsterdom. There's an audience for that shiat and you ain't it, just move on.

Look, dude I don't want a smoked poblano infused vodka with crème liqueur served in a hand folded banana leaf cup.  I just happened to be out with a few people and one guy who does want that shiat says it's his birthday so please just give me farking rum and coke while we buy him a few rounds of your midshelf booze with kitchen trimmings floating in them.


Sounds awful but I hope you have fun drinking rum and cokes with people you don't like.
 
2021-10-22 3:13:34 PM  

ImOscar: mike_d85: ImOscar: Here's a idea: have a handful of different bars to choose from when you want certain things. Don't go to a cocktail bar for a gin and tonic and don't go to the ultra-hip nü-cocktail bar with no menu for a Manhattan, and if all you want are easy-to-make things like G&Ts and Manhattans just make them at home. Stop going to the "pretentious hipster bars" and getting disappointed when you're confronted with pretentious hipsterdom. There's an audience for that shiat and you ain't it, just move on.

Look, dude I don't want a smoked poblano infused vodka with crème liqueur served in a hand folded banana leaf cup.  I just happened to be out with a few people and one guy who does want that shiat says it's his birthday so please just give me farking rum and coke while we buy him a few rounds of your midshelf booze with kitchen trimmings floating in them.

Sounds awful but I hope you have fun drinking rum and cokes with people you don't like.


Better than drinking Turkish delight flavored tequila shoots with frozen action figures instead of ice cubes with people I don't like.
 
2021-10-22 3:19:45 PM  

mike_d85: ImOscar: mike_d85: ImOscar: Here's a idea: have a handful of different bars to choose from when you want certain things. Don't go to a cocktail bar for a gin and tonic and don't go to the ultra-hip nü-cocktail bar with no menu for a Manhattan, and if all you want are easy-to-make things like G&Ts and Manhattans just make them at home. Stop going to the "pretentious hipster bars" and getting disappointed when you're confronted with pretentious hipsterdom. There's an audience for that shiat and you ain't it, just move on.

Look, dude I don't want a smoked poblano infused vodka with crème liqueur served in a hand folded banana leaf cup.  I just happened to be out with a few people and one guy who does want that shiat says it's his birthday so please just give me farking rum and coke while we buy him a few rounds of your midshelf booze with kitchen trimmings floating in them.

Sounds awful but I hope you have fun drinking rum and cokes with people you don't like.

Better than drinking Turkish delight flavored tequila shoots with frozen action figures instead of ice cubes with people I don't like.


You can just tell people "I have other plans". It really does work.
 
2021-10-22 3:45:38 PM  

lifeslammer: He realized a cocktail could be used to highlight alcoholic spirits that captured the terroir from the region they originated, and that by tasting these spirits, one was experiencing a product and a craft as old as civilization itself.


Wow. I mean I didnt think it was possible but god damn, thats how you sound more snotty and pretentious than a vegan crossfitter


I love my booze. Beer, whiskey, etc...

I can be pretentious and snobbish.

But even I want to punch this guy.
 
2021-10-22 4:02:36 PM  
Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-22 4:37:45 PM  
If you call yourself a "mixologist," you've already lost me.
 
2021-10-22 4:48:32 PM  

ImOscar: mike_d85: ImOscar: mike_d85: ImOscar: Here's a idea: have a handful of different bars to choose from when you want certain things. Don't go to a cocktail bar for a gin and tonic and don't go to the ultra-hip nü-cocktail bar with no menu for a Manhattan, and if all you want are easy-to-make things like G&Ts and Manhattans just make them at home. Stop going to the "pretentious hipster bars" and getting disappointed when you're confronted with pretentious hipsterdom. There's an audience for that shiat and you ain't it, just move on.

Look, dude I don't want a smoked poblano infused vodka with crème liqueur served in a hand folded banana leaf cup.  I just happened to be out with a few people and one guy who does want that shiat says it's his birthday so please just give me farking rum and coke while we buy him a few rounds of your midshelf booze with kitchen trimmings floating in them.

Sounds awful but I hope you have fun drinking rum and cokes with people you don't like.

Better than drinking Turkish delight flavored tequila shoots with frozen action figures instead of ice cubes with people I don't like.

You can just tell people "I have other plans". It really does work.


If your bar tender can't or won't make the classics, your bar will fail.
 
2021-10-22 5:01:59 PM  

Iowan73: If you call yourself a "mixologist," you've already lost me.


Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-22 5:04:47 PM  
I like how the tone of this thread is "This guy assumes that I won't like his bar and he's correct and I'm mad about it!"
 
2021-10-22 5:20:13 PM  
Um... OK.

When you have assholes pulling the "go big or go home" bit, they tend to forget that we're now quite willing to go home.
 
2021-10-22 5:23:29 PM  
50-60 unique cocktails a night? That's a lot of on the spot trial and error, and I'd hate to pay the ridiculous prices this guy is surely charging to end of up with the error.
 
2021-10-22 5:33:22 PM  

leeksfromchichis: ImOscar: mike_d85: ImOscar: mike_d85: ImOscar: Here's a idea: have a handful of different bars to choose from when you want certain things. Don't go to a cocktail bar for a gin and tonic and don't go to the ultra-hip nü-cocktail bar with no menu for a Manhattan, and if all you want are easy-to-make things like G&Ts and Manhattans just make them at home. Stop going to the "pretentious hipster bars" and getting disappointed when you're confronted with pretentious hipsterdom. There's an audience for that shiat and you ain't it, just move on.

Look, dude I don't want a smoked poblano infused vodka with crème liqueur served in a hand folded banana leaf cup.  I just happened to be out with a few people and one guy who does want that shiat says it's his birthday so please just give me farking rum and coke while we buy him a few rounds of your midshelf booze with kitchen trimmings floating in them.

Sounds awful but I hope you have fun drinking rum and cokes with people you don't like.

Better than drinking Turkish delight flavored tequila shoots with frozen action figures instead of ice cubes with people I don't like.

You can just tell people "I have other plans". It really does work.

If your bar tender can't or won't make the classics, your bar will fail.


Fine, let the market decide, I'm just tired of whiny Farkers acting like the whole world should cater to them at all times.
 
2021-10-22 5:45:41 PM  

lifeslammer: He realized a cocktail could be used to highlight alcoholic spirits that captured the terroir from the region they originated, and that by tasting these spirits, one was experiencing a product and a craft as old as civilization itself.


Wow. I mean I didnt think it was possible but god damn, thats how you sound more snotty and pretentious than a vegan crossfitter


If a douchebag bartender is cutting that precious terroir booze with mixers...
 
2021-10-22 5:49:05 PM  
He realized a cocktail could be used to highlight alcoholic spirits that captured the terroir from the region they originated

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-22 6:51:41 PM  
I'm going to mix myself a Manhattan right now. That'll show him!

/no it won't
//doesn't matter, had Manhattan
 
2021-10-22 7:45:18 PM  

Madison_Smiled: I'm going to mix myself a Manhattan right now. That'll show him!

/no it won't
//doesn't matter, had Manhattan


This. I'm gonna go mix a whole Thermos of martinis, and have them as Gibsons. Loves me the little onions. Loves them good.
 
2021-10-22 7:51:21 PM  
He's drunk Captain. You get his wallet, I'll get hit taser.
am23.mediaite.comView Full Size
 
2021-10-22 8:15:46 PM  
People should drink alone, in the dark, and depending on weather nude except for blown out underwear in a recliner.  If they need light, that is what a CRT TV tuned to static is for.  No phone, no games, no company.  Each sip should render the person more drunk and have them think about the dark failures of their life.  Then, they awaken in the morning, hung over, and they put their pants and clothes on and go to work.  another day in the grind.
 
2021-10-22 8:17:43 PM  

FormlessOne: Madison_Smiled: I'm going to mix myself a Manhattan right now. That'll show him!

/no it won't
//doesn't matter, had Manhattan

This. I'm gonna go mix a whole Thermos of martinis, and have them as Gibsons. Loves me the little onions. Loves them good.


when we went to see the new Bond, I made 2 thermos of vodak tonic twist. really helped for a 3 hour film.

...

meanwhile tonight the locale lost our food order for over an hour, even as moar drinks were ordered and served. thems: ok next round on us!

$mai_waifu: another appletini for me.
me: (optimistic/chaotic-greedy) double old-fashioned, please?

damson, it were strong.

Fark user imageView Full Size
 
2021-10-22 8:42:21 PM  
It's A Wonderful Life Bar Scene
Youtube Q46sCU3xph8
 
151 [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-10-22 9:06:15 PM  

AmbassadorBooze: People should drink alone, in the dark, and depending on weather nude except for blown out underwear in a recliner.  If they need light, that is what a CRT TV tuned to static is for.  No phone, no games, no company.  Each sip should render the person more drunk and have them think about the dark failures of their life.  Then, they awaken in the morning, hung over, and they put their pants and clothes on and go to work.  another day in the grind.


I knew I should've disabled my webcam.
 
2021-10-22 11:41:59 PM  
Eh, I have no problem with that. If I want a simple cocktail, I'll make one at home. When I go to a gastropub or speakeasy staffed by a mixologist, I want something complicated and only slightly facetious.
 
2021-10-22 11:44:18 PM  
For example, I'm drinking a nice scotch right now. I wouldn't get one at a bar, where I have to pay 2-3 times the retail price for someone to pour from a single bottle. But I'll happily pay for the artistry if someone's going to break out three bottles, some handcrafted bitters, and muddle some herbs.
 
2021-10-22 11:56:33 PM  

Gentlequiet: [Youtube-video https://www.youtube.com/embed/Q46sCU3x​ph8]


What kind of "all American, good old Midwestern values" town has a hopping full bar on Christmas Eve?
 
2021-10-23 12:08:07 AM  

FormlessOne: Um... OK.

When you have assholes pulling the "go big or go home" bit, they tend to forget that we're now quite willing to go home.


I already AM home.

And have been drinking Margaritas for the past 4 hrs. It's nice!
 
2021-10-23 12:12:51 AM  

AmbassadorBooze: People should drink alone, in the dark, and depending on weather nude except for blown out underwear in a recliner.  If they need light, that is what a CRT TV tuned to static is for.  No phone, no games, no company.  Each sip should render the person more drunk and have them think about the dark failures of their life.  Then, they awaken in the morning, hung over, and they put their pants and clothes on and go to work.  another day in the grind.


User name checks out.
 
151 [TotalFark] [OhFark]
2021-10-23 12:16:32 AM  

Theaetetus: For example, I'm drinking a nice scotch right now. I wouldn't get one at a bar, where I have to pay 2-3 times the retail price for someone to pour from a single bottle. But I'll happily pay for the artistry if someone's going to break out three bottles, some handcrafted bitters, and muddle some herbs.


What's a nice scotch to you though? I agree the pretentious mixed drinks are silly, but I know several places around here I can get Johnnie black label for like 5 bucks. Definitely overpriced compared to just buying a bottle next door, however if I go to a "nicer place" that same glass of Johnnie black is costing me like 10 bucks. Hell, my last job we charged 12 bucks for a single beer, and it wasn't even that great.
 
2021-10-23 12:37:31 AM  

151: Theaetetus: For example, I'm drinking a nice scotch right now. I wouldn't get one at a bar, where I have to pay 2-3 times the retail price for someone to pour from a single bottle. But I'll happily pay for the artistry if someone's going to break out three bottles, some handcrafted bitters, and muddle some herbs.

What's a nice scotch to you though?


I'm partial to a Macallen, and a Glenkitchie or Dalwhinnie tickle the cockles of my cold heart, and of course, my wife and I visited Auchentoshan so that holds a special place, though I occasionally stretch up north for an Oban or Talisker when I want to feel like a fire ate my face. But that said...

I agree the pretentious mixed drinks are silly, but I know several places around here I can get Johnnie black label for like 5 bucks. Definitely overpriced compared to just buying a bottle next door, however if I go to a "nicer place" that same glass of Johnnie black is costing me like 10 bucks. Hell, my last job we charged 12 bucks for a single beer, and it wasn't even that great.

I am perfectly happy to pay $15-20 for a artisanal mixed drink, sometimes more. I live in a big city, so apply your own local market cost of living exchange to that, but I'm willing to pay for the ice-sphere-with-fresh-cherry-smoke Manhattan, precisely because it's the type of thing I couldn't do easily at home.

For example, my wife and I are really good cooks. We've done things that would blow your mind, between sous vide steaks, pressure cooked pork carnitas, keto-friendly ravioli and gnocchi (better living through chemistry), etc. So going out to a local chain for a $20 is like, meh. I can do that better at home with my pants off. But I'll go to Alinea or Oga and drop $500 on the best meal I've ever dreamed of. I think the skill and artistry are worth it, and- to return to TFA- those places shouldn't offer $10 burgers.
 
2021-10-23 12:39:09 AM  
[that should be "for a $20 steak is like, meh"]
 
2021-10-23 1:04:22 AM  
Sigh
The Lost Weekend 1945 Movie
Youtube N0-wNWJxGFM
 
2021-10-23 4:04:05 AM  

Theaetetus: Eh, I have no problem with that. If I want a simple cocktail, I'll make one at home. When I go to a gastropub or speakeasy staffed by a mixologist, I want something complicated and only slightly facetious.


encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comView Full Size


So you're this guy and average Farkers are Rick?
 
2021-10-23 6:08:25 AM  

ImOscar: Here's a idea: have a handful of different bars to choose from when you want certain things. Don't go to a cocktail bar for a gin and tonic and don't go to the ultra-hip nü-cocktail bar with no menu for a Manhattan, and if all you want are easy-to-make things like G&Ts and Manhattans just make them at home. Stop going to the "pretentious hipster bars" and getting disappointed when you're confronted with pretentious hipsterdom. There's an audience for that shiat and you ain't it, just move on.


Done.
 
2021-10-23 6:13:43 AM  
Corpse Reviver Number 2, but only if you have real absinthe. Otherwise, double sidecar. French.
 
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